It had been so long since I’d been beyond just their front stoop and I wasn’t certain I was ready, even after ten long years. Maybe that was a sign enough that I needed to just do this and maybe heal a little.
That wafting scent of lavender and honeysuckle again greeted me the moment I slipped out of my car in the Brown’s front driveway. It was too reminiscent, but my growling stomach was more interested in something else.
Already I could smell the savory char of chicken over charcoal, and I could hear the din of voices in the backyard. I figured there wasn’t any sense in going to the front door, so I let myself in through the side yard gate that was arched in ivy so thick it made it feel almost like I was entering a secret garden.
“Hello!” I called out, not wanting to intrude or frighten anyone with my sudden appearance. Sheepish as I had been at ten years old I traipsed along the side of the house until both Deborah and Doug came into view.
“Oh Marissa, it’s so good to see you again.” The family matriarch gave me no exit plan as she pulled me up into a hug tighter than a vice grip. “I hope this isn’t too strange for you, given-”
“Deborah,” her husband scolded from over by the wide, smoking grill, “it’s only going to be strange if you make it that way. Hush now and let the girl make it into the yard.”
She squeezed my shoulders then and gave me one of those smiles that was almost apologetic before she led me further into the yard.
Barely anything had changed. The back patio was set with bright white stones that floated across thick grass while on every side trees and flowers wound up toward the hot sun, enveloping us into what felt like a true outdoor room.
Glancing toward one particular corner of the yard I found the same tree I’d cried under all those years ago was still there. I wondered if Henry remembered that day.
Mr. Brown’s voice knocked me out of my reverie. It would be a wonder if I could keep focused at all.
“Deborah told me you cleaned up Max and Prissie this morning. Were they well behaved?”
Doug had been the one to train them from the time they’d been tiny puppies, so he had always been interested in making sure they remained well trained. Though, he’d always expected Olivia and Henry to behave as he wanted, too.
“They were great, but they always have been.” Even way back then.
“Hey!” The sudden call of Henry’s voice had my head snapping toward the back door. “What’s for dinner?”
Out from the house he sauntered in a pair of dirty jeans, an equally dirty t-shirt, and a baseball cap around which his sweat dampened hair curled. More than anything I wanted to pull the hat from his head to let his hair dry, but I kept my mouth shut as he dawdled between me and his mom without a care.
The moment he drew close enough I could smell the salt of his sweat and almost nutty scent of his lathered sunscreen. He must have come here straight from work. Did he know I’d be here?
“Henry.” His father’s lips pursed as he turned and left the grill unattended. “You couldn’t at least shower before coming over for dinner?”
“Doug,” Mrs. Brown scolded quietly, as if she was embarrassed to have him say such a thing in front of me, “it’ll be fine. We’re eating outside anyway.”
Doug grumbled loudly at his son. “It would be nice if you could put in an effort sometimes.”
Henry’s eyes rolled. It definitely wasn’t a sight I was accustomed to seeing and I suddenly was left feeling like an outsider that had barged in on some family event. Unfortunately, it was too late to bail.
“And how are you, Gator Girl?” My heart stopped as I watched Henry pop some boiled peanuts in his mouth. Beyond the tap of his chewing his lips curled mischievously and left me nervously glancing at his parents who were too busy to notice anything was awry.
“I’m fine,” I said, though I grimaced as I did so. No one but the pair of us knew the story behind my nickname, but the thought that he’d just said it in front of his parents made me want to crawl in a hole and die. “How was work?” I asked in an effort to remain neutral as his mother ushered us over to the backyard table. Already it was set with collard greens, potato salad, cornbread, and more watermelon than I knew what to do with.
“Good.” Henry shoved a piece of fruit into his mouth and talked through it as he munched, much to his father’s dismay. “Got half the course cleaned up in record time. Don’t think I’ll need to put in any overtime this week to keep up.”
“Sometimes I think you work too hard, dear,” his mother murmured as she passed me the bowl of greens. They weren’t exactly my favorite, but I was too afraid to pass them on without taking any, so I scooped a little onto my plate.
“Would you rather have me work less and need to move back home?” Henry asked as his gaze snapped onto his father.
Doug looked like he was about to have a heart attack. “No, no of course not. Your mother just worries about you, that’s all.”
“You could just take up my dad’s offer,” I said without thinking, “I mean, you’d probably have to work a lot in the beginning, but eventually you could delegate more.”
A sharpened scrape of a fork against ceramic left me wincing as I looked to Doug’s shocked face. “Your dad offered him what?”
Oh, shit. I knew I was in for it now, and could already see Henry’s muscles tense at my side. “He uh, offered for Henry to take over the restaurant… again.” Damn! Why did I have to say every little thing that came into my head?
“Why didn’t you tell us about this?” Deborah asked with all manner of concern laced through her voice.
“Because I’m not doing it,” Henry snapped, leaving his mother to look shell shocked.
“Why not? It would be such a good opportunity, and-”
“Look, I don’t want to do it, okay?”
“I can’t believe this.” Doug said as his fork clattered into his plate and I sunk further into my chair. “You’re giving up the opportunity of a lifetime for what? To clean up a golf course?”
“I like what I’m doing!” Henry snapped with far more force than I’d expected. “Why won’t you quit trying to control me?”
“ You’re a glorified lawn mower. The thirteen year old from down the street mows our yard once a week.”
Abruptly, Henry jumped up from the table, nearly knocking his chair clear over backward. “Right, well, I’m done here.” He tossed his napkin down on his plate, clearly hoping for something more dramatic than the gentle billowing of the paper product. It settled onto far too much food for his lie that he was done to ever be construed as he was full. “Thanks for dinner.”
Just like that he stormed off, leaving me with my eyes turned to my lap and Deborah staring after him like he was going off to war and would never return.
“Doug!” She lightly slapped his arm, leaving him to shrug as he returned to his dinner.
“What? I told him the truth.”
“Yes, but…” She sighed heavily, “did you have to be so harsh?”
“Look, I’m not going to sugarcoat life for him.” Into his meal his fork stabbed so forcefully I flinched before jumping up to my feet.
“I’m sorry, please excuse me.” It was all I could spit out before I ran around the side of the house and back through the side gate. Henry was out in the driveway, jumping angrily into his truck.
“Henry!” He looked like he wasn’t about to wait, but refrained from starting his truck with the door still open wide. “Please, don’t go. I’m sorry, I never should have brought that up. I really, I - didn’t mean to.”
His eyes looked hard as steel as he stared at me, and for a moment I thought he would drive off without a word. Instead, he just sat there in stoic silence.
I looked toward the front yard, where a giant old pine tree still towered. It had been there long before their house was ever built, and I imagined it would be there long after, too.
“Do you remember that time I climbed that tree?” I pointed to it with a flick of my chin and
saw his eyes drift over. “I don’t even know how I managed to get up to those branches.” Certainly they were higher now, but I’d been shorter then, too. Most of the pine’s lower trunk though sported no branches at all.
“Yeah.” The murmur of my voice gives me the smallest bit of hope. “I had to climb up after you to get you down. Guess you didn’t think of that when you went up.”
Now that I was no longer the terrified little girl I could smile over the memory. “Yeah, I was shaking like a leaf. I never would have made it down on my own.”
“Get in the damn truck, Gator Girl.”
Confusion marred my features as I looked back up to Henry. “What? My car is here.”
“Just-” his heavy sigh broke up his words as he slid over, giving me leeway to sit behind the wheel, “get in.”
“I… okay.” I couldn’t figure out what for the life of me he wanted, but I climbed up into the truck and turned toward him expectantly. It didn’t take long to figure out what he wanted.
His fingers were wrapped up in my hair and his lips were warm and damp against mine before I could rake in a single breath. Heat poured off of him as he pressed me down across the bench seat, drowning me in the ever-present scent of cut grass and taste of tobacco.
Air was a welcome respite the moment his lips left mine, though I felt almost lost, like a ship tossed at sea without the taste of him on my tongue. I was hopelessly desirous, and the snake of his kisses down my neck left my breath uneven and my thoughts unraveled. Part of me wanted to rip his clothes off right then and there, especially as his knee parted my legs, sending a solid flush across every inch of my skin that couldn’t be controlled.
“Henry.” My breath was hot and damp against his ear, and it seemed to only egg him on as he pressed down against me, proving to me just how much he wanted me.
But I knew that was all he’d want.
“Henry, your parents might see.” As conflicted as I felt inside I pushed at his chest, urging him to get off of me. “Stop.”
There was no mistaking the heavy sigh that left him as he relented and lifted far enough to give me space to get out. I jumped back down onto the ground, knowing even I didn’t have the fortitude to keep away from him for too long.
“You could come home with me,” he said.
“I can’t, I need to go home tonight.”
“Then I can come to your place.”
The offer was tempting but there was still one small problem: Elizabeth. We’d been roommates for a while now and she still harbored a decade long crush on Henry and had no idea what was going on. “I can’t Henry.” I also couldn’t tell him it’s mostly his fault, because all he wanted is sex and nothing more. I can’t connect with someone that won’t even connect with themselves.
“Right, well,” Henry cranked up his truck and shut the door, slamming me out. Per usual, his window was rolled down. “Guess it’ll be just me and Teddy tonight. Alone. Again.”
I didn’t know if he said it to guilt trip me or not, but I wasn’t about to let that be our parting words. Instead, I smiled. “Tell Teddy I say hi.”
5
A handful of days had passed since Henry and I made out in his truck. He’d been eerily quiet since then, though part of me hoped it was for the better. Maybe he’d taken the hint that I couldn’t just be some piece of meat he could taste whenever he wanted.
Not that I had the best track record of saying no.
“Hey, Marissa?”
My head stuck up over the back of the couch to where Elizabeth stood in our narrow kitchen. “Yeah?”
“Are you busy? I could use some help planning out the details for Olivia’s memorial.”
“Yeah, sure.” I didn’t really want to spend my day making myself even more melancholy over Olivia, but I didn’t want to be a terrible friend either. Elizabeth had her heart set on making the event as perfect as possible, so helping her was the least I could do.
“Do you want to go down to the Dream Bean?” She asked, leaving me to perk up even further. That coffee shop down in Fincastle was one of my favorites. It also wasn’t all that far from Henry’s house.
It irritated me that I couldn’t seem to go all that long without thinking about him.
“Are you kidding me? I think a latte is exactly what I need.”
Elizabeth, usually full of bits of excitement on any given day laughed. “Then put some real pants on so we can go.”
“Hey! What do you mean these aren’t real?” I jumped up atop the couch, broad-grinned in my alligator-print pajama pants.
“Okay okay,” Elizabeth laughed again, “public appropriate pants?”
“Wait,” I dead-panned completely in jest. “You’re embarrassed to be seen with me like this?”
She threw her hands into the air in defeat. “You know what? Wear your gator pants if you want to, I don’t care.”
That sobered me up enough to have me running for my laundry. Gator pants was far too close to Gator Girl.
Minutes later I was ready, having replaced my comfortable pants with a pair of shorts given the scorching sun outside. I could only begin to imagine how how it would be on the day of the memorial.
“I’ll drive!” Elizabeth called out as she raced out the front door. It was amazing how excited she could get over going out to do mundane planning. Reluctant as I was to get into a car with her behind the wheel I relented and soon found myself white-knuckled a she careened in and out of traffic on the way to Dream Bean.
“You do know what speed limits are for, right?” I asked with a voice strained with fear.
“Oh come on Marissa, it’ll be fine. I’ve never gotten in an accident, and I’ve never even had a speeding ticket before.”
“Right,” I grumbled, “well there’s always a first time for everything.”
She snorted loudly and slowed down about five miles per hour. It was something.
“So hey,” she murmured, “have you seen Henry lately? I was kind of sad he didn’t show up to the Corner Roast.”
I was glad she had her eyes focused on the road rather than the twitching at the edge of my lips. Lying entirely seemed like the worst idea, but being entirely up front seemed just as bad.
“I had to go groom Max and Prissie the other day, so I saw him for a little bit while he was over there at his parent’s house.”
“Oh my God, Maxy,” Elizabeth cooed as if the old dog was still a tiny puppy. “So how was he? Henry, I mean? Is he doing okay?”
It seemed like an awful lot of questions about someone she barely tried to speak with. “Yeah, I mean, he seemed okay. Normal, I guess?”
“Right,” she snorted, “like we’d know normal if it smacked us in the face.”
Minutes later Elizabeth parked outside the coffee shop and we raced against the melting heat of the day to get inside the perfectly cooled space. My shorts had been a great idea for outside, but now that I was in the blistery air conditioning I kind of wanted my pajama pants back.
Gator pants.
I shuddered, not realizing Elizabeth was on her way back to our table with two drinks in hand. I’d opted for iced because it was so hot outside, but now I wondered if hot wouldn’t have been a better idea.
“Are you okay?” Elizabeth asked the moment she set the pair of cups down and grabbed her seat, “did you just shiver?”
“Yeah, It’s just a little cold in here is all. I’m fine.” Fine, and unable to stop thinking about Henry.
“Okay, well!” Elizabeth pulled out a three-ringer binder and flipped it open to share in her meticulous planning. She’d always been this way, while I was more of a seat-of-my-pants type of planner. It was a wonder she wanted me to help at all.
For what felt like hours we delved into the gathering’s specifics, like where to put tables, what kinds of lights we’d want to string up near the lake’s edge, and what sorts of refreshments we’d want to serve. Luckily, most of it seemed a bit detached from actually talking too much about Olivia.
Wit
hin my pocket my phone vibrated, halting my thoughts as I stuck a finger up in pause and reached for my phone. Across the screen was Henry’s name, and I had half a mind to ignore him but it wasn’t all that often he actually called.
“Hello?” I stuck the phone up between my ear and shoulder and swirled at what was left of my dwindling drink.
“Hey.” Henry wasn’t always a man of many words, though I could sense something in his tone that made me worry.
“What’s up? Is everything okay?”
His pause worries me more than anything. “What are you doing? Are you busy with Elizabeth?”
The very girl across from me tilted her head in question at my clunky phone call. I had no idea what was going on, but I couldn’t exactly talk to him freely in front of her, and I could tell something was terribly wrong with him. I also worried he would never tell me what it was.
“I’ll be there in a bit,” I told him, and without giving him a moment to say anything else I ended the call.
Elizabeth looked defeated. “Is something wrong?”
“It’s nothing too serious,” I said as I jumped out of the chair, “but I really need to run. I’m so sorry Elizabeth.”
“It’s okay. We got a lot done anyway.” Her brow lowered as she watched me grab my phone, “do you want me to take you somewhere?”
“No, it’s okay, I’ll just walk.”
“It’s seriously hot out there.”
“I’m good.” Really, I could never tell her to drop me off at Henry’s. “Thanks, Elizabeth!”
I ran out the door without looking back. The heat outside felt like a full on assault and left my feet dragging along as I made the trek toward Henry’s house. Luckily, there was plenty of shade along the way or I would have knocked on his front door looking like a bright red lobster.
When I got there though, my pounding knocks were never answered. My heart started racing as I edged around back of the single-story build and found Henry slouched atop an old tree stump. His head was cradled in the lift of his hands and shining in the setting sun in the grass beside him laid his pistol.
Hard Wired: A First Love Second Chance Romance Page 3