The enthusiasm in his goodbye was uncanny and had me leaving with pursed lips. Unfortunately, by the time I reached Henry’s driveway I recalled I didn’t have my car. I’d walked from the coffee shop, and now I had no choice but to wake home.
I wasn’t about to go ask for a ride from Henry. I could only imagine the innuendo jokes he’d be able to make now. Instead, I set off down the street, grateful I would at least have some time to myself, to maybe try and figure out my thoughts.
Except, by the time I’d reached the apartment Elizabeth and I shared I hadn’t figured out a damn thing. All I knew was something had changed in Henry, and I hoped it stayed that way. He may have been the one that had always been closed off, but I was trying to close myself off, too. I was scared of getting hurt.
With beads of sweat dotting the back of my neck I stepped inside the house, grateful for the wafting cool air that greeted me. Air conditioning was a beautiful thing.
No din of the television greeted me, and I didn’t hear Elizabeth traipsing about the kitchen whipping up a weekend brunch. I almost wondered if I’d made it out scot free, until I heard her steps thunder out from her bedroom.
“Marissa! Where have you been?”
Maybe I should have spent the walk home thinking up a good excuse. I didn’t want to tell her I was with Henry, but I didn’t really want to outright lie either.
“Were you with Daniel?” She snipped, asking if I’d somehow relapsed back into my ex-boyfriend’s arms.
“Come on Elizabeth, he’s not some demon,” I grumbled as I began searching high and low for my phone cord. It would have helped if I put it back in one spot each time I used it, but for some reason I had never made that a habit.
“Oh my God, you did, didn’t you?”
I figured if I said nothing, she’d simply believe it, and I wouldn’t be forced to lie. Sure, it was shady, but I could only imagine how hurt she’d be if I told her I’d slept with Henry. Again.
Finally I found my phone cord and triumphantly plugged my phone in. Still, it would take a few minutes for it to turn on.
“And why didn’t you call?” Elizabeth was sometimes so motherly.
“My phone was dead.” That at least, was not a lie.
“Jesus, Marissa. I was worried about you. You could at least text me before your phone dies or something. Or steal Daniel’s.”
“I was… a little preoccupied.” Which was also true.
“Oh my God, you are terrible!” Still, she sidled up close to me and grinned mischievously. “How was it?”
My skin seemed to tingle in remembrance of the feeling of Henry atop me. “It was…” I sighed and let my eyes roll back into my head, like it had been heavenly.
Elizabeth gawked. “No! Really?”
I shrugged, wanting more than anything to brush it all off and move onto the next topic. It seemed Elizabeth didn’t really want to delve further into the details of my sex life as she let it drop and hustled into the kitchen.
Apparently she had been in the process of making something.
“Do you want some pancakes?” She called out as I flopped down into the nearest dining room chair. It wasn’t really that far off from where she stood, but we really didn’t have a huge place either.
“Yeah, sure. I’m starving.” The pizza had kind of worn off somewhere between jumping on the trampoline and sleeping.
Happily, Elizabeth set to mixing up some batter and waited patiently for the pan to get hot. Apparently, that’s where my fault had always lied. Whenever I tried to make pancakes they never flipped right and they always came out looking deformed and uncooked.
“So,” the tentativeness in Elizabeth’s voice left my stomach twisting in worry. “Do you think the memorial is going to go okay?”
I let out the breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. It was stupid of me anyway, she had a huge crush on Henry, but he wasn’t the only thing she talked about. “I’m sure it’ll be fine. What are you worried about?”
“I don’t know.” From the slump of her shoulders though, I could tell otherwise.
“Come on Elizabeth, what is it?”
She turned toward me, with sadness in her round brown eyes that sat behind tortoiseshell framed glasses. “Do you think the Browns want this?”
I was sort of stunned by the question, and hadn’t even thought to wonder it myself. Would reminiscing over their daughter's death, and in Henry’s case, his sister’s death ten years later be too painful? I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe they just wanted to let the past stay in the past.
Then I remembered Henry’s missing photographs of Olivia.
Still, I couldn’t let Elizabeth think she’d done anything wrong. “I’m sure they want to remember her, too Elizabeth. We’re just showing them how much we all still care, that Olivia hasn’t been forgotten.”
Elizabeth nodded, but I could still see the tension in her shoulders as she pulled a couple of perfect pancakes from the pan. “I hope you’re right.”
“I’m sure of it. And, just in case, we’ll make sure they know they are welcome to show up and leave whenever they’d like, just in case it’s too much to bear, okay?” It seemed reasonable enough to me, and a good way to hopefully ease Elizabeth’s stress. The girl always seemed to pick it up wherever she could find it.
“Yeah, yeah okay, thanks.” Even from beyond her shoulder I could see Elizabeth’s gentle smile. In minutes she had a stack of pancakes ready, and I happily slid into a further chair to give her better access to the table.
With a couple of pancakes on my plate I dropped some softened butter on top and drowned them in delicious maple syrup.
“Do you think Henry will come?” Elizabeth asked, causing me to nearly choke on my drink.
“What?” All I’d heard was the name. Henry.
“To the memorial.” Elizabeth gave me an odd look, “do you think he’ll come?”
“I don’t know.” I wanted to fill my face with food so I couldn’t answer more questions, but I knew that wouldn’t stop Elizabeth from asking. “I’ll ask him if I see him before then.”
“Okay,” Elizabeth beamed as if that somehow solved everything, “thanks.”
“But…” The wary tick of my voice left her fork hanging in midair on the way to her mouth.
“But, what?”
“If Henry comes, you can’t have pictures of Olivia all over the place.”
“But it’s a memorial… for Olivia.”
“You can’t have any pictures of her if he goes.”
“Marissa, that’s ridiculous.”
“Promise me, Elizabeth. If Henry says he’s going to go to it, you can not have pictures of her around. It would probably be too painful for him.” I hoped I sounded convincing enough without needing to explain why I thought it was the truth.
“Okay, fine!” She sounded entirely too exasperated. “I promise I won’t have pictures of Olivia around if Henry says he’s going.” She stabbed a bit more harshly into her pancakes after that.
In silence we ate, listening only to the scrapes of our forks across the last drippings of syrup. I knew I’d be hungry in about an hour, but pancakes were just too delicious to pass up.
Up from the table I jumped, eager to clean up since Elizabeth had cooked. That’s just sort of how we’d wordlessly arranged things, and it worked. I got to eat, and she didn’t have to clean all the time.
“So.” Elizabeth grinned too eagerly over my shoulder as I filled the sink with hot, soapy water. “Going to tell me anything more about last night?”
“Seriously?” My brow lifted over my shoulder at her.
“What! It’s not like I’m getting any action. I have to live vicariously through you.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at that, and she socked me gently in the arm. “Guess I deserved that.”
“You did. Now, spill.”
Part of me wanted to so badly. She was my best friend, besides Henry, and it hurt to have to keep secrets from her. I knew though, that
if she found out what was really going on she would flip a lid.
“Well,” I drawled, drawing her in in anticipation, “it was outdoors.”
“You devil, you!”
Again, I laughed.
“Wait like, at the beach? In the grass?” Suddenly her nose crinkled as she realized that not every outdoor option would be the best time.
The corner of my lips curled upward. “In someone else’s backyard,” I said flat as I possibly could.
Elizabeth looked floored. “No! You can’t be serious!”
“Mmhm.” I nodded as I set to washing the plates and forks. “I mean, they weren’t home, so that makes it a little less exciting.”
Elizabeth snorted so loudly I nearly jumped. “No, no it doesn’t, Marissa. That’s like, next level stuff right there. Seriously, I can’t believe it. And I can’t believe you didn’t get caught!”
I was kind of getting into it and turned to her with the most serious face I could muster. “How do you know we didn’t get caught?”
Never had I ever seen Elizabeth’s jaw drop so far so fast. “Oh my God! For real?”
Brightly I laughed as I swung back to the dishes. “No. That didn’t happen.” I earned another soft thwap with that one.
“That’s so never going to be me,” Elizabeth commiserated.
“Oh, come on.”
“Seriously, you know I’m going to end up as some spinster with several cats someday.”
The mere vision of it set me laughing. “I don’t think spinsters are really things anymore, Elizabeth.”
“Well, if they were, I would be one!”
Hurriedly, I finished up the dishes and drained the water out. I didn’t even bother to dry my hands before I spun around and grasped Elizabeth by her shoulders. “You are not going to end up a cat lady, alright? Maybe a hot one with a handsome husband, but-”
“You can’t be a cat lady if you’re married.”
“Why not?”
“Because that defeats the purpose of it!”
Heartily, I laughed. “You’re crazy, you know that?”
She smiled, quite proudly. “I know. I’m gonna go finish up on some extra things for the memorial.” Off she ran from the kitchen, leaving me to shout out after her.
“Don’t forget, Elizabeth! If Henry comes, no pictures!”
8
Days went by without hearing a word from Henry. It didn’t really surprise me all that much, but I was also loathe to admit it kind of hurt. I couldn’t help but wonder if I was the only one that felt something extra special that night.
Regardless, I couldn’t help but find myself thinking of him and of his loss with Teddy. I wanted more than anything to fill the hole that the fox had left behind, but I knew it never could be. Not entirely.
I did have something else I could offer though. With my prize tucked into a canvas bag and my comfortable overalls pulled on I set for heading out the door.
“Hey, Elizabeth!”
“Yeah?” She called out from her closed bedroom.
“I’m head out, I’ve got a bunch of errands and stuff to get done today. I don’t know when I’ll be back.”
“Okay!” I was halfway to the door before she hollered out, “no backyard sex!”
My cheeks flooded with a red hot heat as I flung myself out the front door and raced to my car. Luckily, I found the reprieve of privacy there and was free to look as embarrassed and guilty as I wanted.
I drowned out my thoughts, and the ringing sound of Elizabeth’s voice with some deafeningly loud country music. All the way over to Henry’s house I wondered if I hadn’t made a mistake. He made for a great friend, that much I was sure of, but I’d been so eager to see even the smallest of changes in him I hadn’t stopped to wonder if it would stay.
I didn’t want to be the girl that just got some but was never anything more.
It wasn’t easy, but I shoved the thoughts from my mind and focused on what I knew I could trust: Friendship.
Yet again the day was proving to be terribly hot and sticky, but the sun wasn’t beating down in its usual fashion. Dark and ominous clouds had rolled in, and the superstitious side of me chose to ignore those too.
Rain would do us all a bit of good.
By the time I reached Henry’s house, heavy rain drops already began to pound down on my windshield, splattering outward like a squashed bug. Of course I had forgotten my umbrella, and chose to never wear a raincoat, so the moment I jumped out of the car I raced as quick as I could up his front path to the covered stoop that offered me a modicum of protection.
Maybe I should have called first.
My lower lip pulled nervously between my teeth as I rang the doorbell and waited. Seconds later, the door pulled open revealing a very curious Henry.
“I get surprise visits now?”
“I… maybe brought something for you,” I admit almost sheepishly.
“Oh, yeah?” Devilish thoughts danced across his eyes, leaving me to smack playfully at his chest.
“Not like that, perv.”
“Okay, well, I guess you can still come in out of the rain.” He stepped aside, letting me in to the house, and I wasted no time in tossing my bag onto the couch.
“Well okay, what is it?” Apparently even grown men liked getting surprise gifts that weren’t sex.
“Now, I know it’s not a replacement…” Suddenly I felt horribly nervous. I was worried that day’s lunch would come back up, and I was worried Henry would think my gift the stupidest thing he’d ever received. From the bag I plucked an old stuffed animal, worn with time and clearly loved over the years. It resembled a fox, not at all anything like what Teddy looked like, but more like what cartoonists depicted them as.
“A… fox?” With an odd, gingerly grasp Henry took hold of it and looked it over. I wanted to sink into the floor.
“Yeah. It… it was mine when I was little. I thought maybe you’d like to have it.”
Because I’m an idiot who thinks you’d want to have an old stuffed animal.
I watched, my breath held tight as Henry flipped it over every which way. It was as if he was inspecting a piece of machinery, and I paled before his lips slowly turned into a bright smile.
“Thanks. It might be the cutest thing anyone’s ever given to me.”
My held breath left me in a rush. “I was so worried you were going to hate it.”
“What?” He looked taken aback by my admission. “Why?”
“I don’t know.” My shoulders lifted in a lazy shrug, “It’s kind of sentimental, is all.”
“Well,” he settled it atop the coffee table, “Teddy would have liked it.”
That didn’t entirely mean Henry loved the sentimentality, but it was a small victory.
“You know, since you don’t like cats,” I said, “you could always get a dog.”
“That’s a terrible idea.”
“Why?”
“I’m never even home. I work all the time.”
He has a point, but it still makes me sad nonetheless. “There are dog sitters.”
“Should I bring it to daycare, too?”
“Hey, those exist,” I snapped far too harshly for the topic at hand. The moment Henry drew nearer, my tongue lay silenced. His eyes seemed to smolder as he looked down at me, and I found myself for once waiting for him to be the first to speak.
“I can’t stop thinking about you,” he said, leaving my eyes to glimmer in question.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean just that. No matter what I end up doing, you’re on my mind.”
The admission made my heart flutter, but I had too many years of caution and worry built up to let it drive me instantly forward. Instead I whispered, “in what way?”
Over and over his lips flattened with the myriad of thoughts that seemed to drift through the depths of his eyes. He wasn’t letting anything away, not until a single one of his hands slid behind me neck, and down his head brought the hot of his breath to my
face.
“This,” he said before he captured my lips with a fiery passion that put our other night’s intensity to shame. There was something more heated though, more desperate about the sweep of his tongue that aimed to taste every inch of my lips, and the weak of my knees that let him push me backward toward the couch. At just the last second I grabbed hold of his wrists and swung him around, forcing him to take a seat.
Atop his lap I straddled him and kissed him back with the same burning heat I’d always felt but had always been afraid to show. All up and down my sides and hips his hands slid, drinking in every curve of me with the touch of his fingers. It was a warmth I loved, and I urged him on as I unclasped my overalls and let them fall downward.
His eyes burned with desire. I wanted more, and somehow I was hungrier for it than I had been that night on the trampoline. In a hurry I stripped off my shirt, but still I wasn’t satisfied. Up to my feet I jumped, giving Henry no wiggle room as I shimmied out of all the clothing that remained on my body.
I stood there in front of him, feeling like a Goddess as his eyes raked in the curves of my form. He reached for my hand and pulled me back down atop him with another crash of heated lips. He was intoxicating, and already I was addicted to him.
“I think you need to lay back,” he murmured, and in an instant my cheeks were a deeper red than I ever thought would be possible.
“What? But-”
“Marissa, just do it.”
I hesitated, but only because he hadn’t called me Gator Girl. There was something far more intimate about him using my real name, and I was just as accustomed to that as I was to lying back and seeing him crawl down between the V in my legs. I thought I’d die if I watched what he was about to do, but I also couldn’t tear my eyes away.
His tongue lapped against me for the first time, and though it had been only the smallest of caresses I cried out in an unstifled moan. Within minutes his swirling tongue pushed me to heights I hadn’t even known existed. It was struggle to keep my legs from collapsing around his head, and against my inner thighs his hands pushed to halt my temptation.
My legs trembled around him, long before I felt myself climbing toward the peak from which I would find my release. I felt it building, and deep into his hair my fingers curled, aiming to find some sort of anchor for the storm that was brewing.
Hard Wired: A First Love Second Chance Romance Page 5