There just seemed a tremendous lack of pride in a hard earned dollar these days. More companies were moving their business overseas, probably for the commitment of the workers as much as the cheaper costs for manufacturing there. I knew people needed to turn a profit, but at what cost?
I had always associated Labor Day with Memorial Day, as they were often used as markers for the start and stop of summer. For example, the pools were generally open from Memorial Day to Labor Day. The fact that it was Labor Day made me happier than if it had been Memorial Day, as Memorial Day would have highlighted all the soldiers that had been lost in wars past and present. I didn't think Carolina could handle that intensity of focus on Roger's recent death in combat.
October's arrival meant Halloween. This was one of my least favorite holidays, though it was my dad's birthday. Ironically, mom had been born Christmas eve, so they often teased how we had both a demon and an angel for parents. Of course, true to his nature, dad used this to highlight not only that people should love one another despite their difference, but that life must consist of balance.
I liked Halloween a little more than I like Flag Day, but neither held much interest for me. It wasn't a religious or philosophical reason that caused my dislike, but rather, a social one. I understood the history of the event and that intrigued me, but overall, it bothered me in a similar fashion. I likened my own grievances about the holiday to the complaints of people throughout time. I didn't like the way everyone celebrated the holiday; the ruckus of excited Halloween practitioners and their mischievous behavior sometimes bore darker activities.
The customary act of demanding a gift or threatening a prank bothered me too. The thing that made me happy about modern times is that most kids refrained from the pranks, though there were still those asshole teenagers out there that stole the hard gained candy of younger kids. The whole thing was moved more into a commercial event for candy distribution, ensuring dentists everywhere a rich year full of patients with tooth decay.
Rae, on the other hand, loved Halloween. She loved to dress in costume and have an excuse to acquire free candy. Any day that encouraged the free flow of sugar made Rae happy! I had no doubt she also liked breaking that childhood rule about “not taking candy from a stranger.” I often teased her about it, saying she liked to live dangerously!
Rae maintained her position at Caribou Coffee even after classes resumed. She was scheduled to work on Halloween, but she was surprisingly upbeat about it. She was tickled that the employees were not only allowed to “dress up”, but that they were encouraged to. And though she was tired of children because of her mother's rambunctious daycare, she was actually looking forward to passing candy out when the Mall of America opened to trick-or-treaters.
Like the Zoo Boo at Como Park and HallZooween at the Minnesota Zoo, the Mall of America held the World's Largest Indoor trick-or-treating event. They had costume parties and family-friendly activities that included trick-or-treating through the mall. Kids could walk with their parents in a specified time slot where each store would have representatives to pass out candy for the young trick-or-treaters. Rae was thrilled that she was tasked with that duty!
Though I struggled to fully embrace, if not completely enjoy Halloween, I felt compelled to participate. I couldn't shut off my lights and hide away in my house when there were little kids on the prowl for goodies! I refused to dress up and go trick-or-treating, but I'll be damned if I wasn't going to greet those who did with the reward of a handful of sweet yummers; I wasn't heartless!
Chris and I decided that we'd pass out candy at his house while my sisters tended to the tradition at our residence. I liked passing candy out at Chris's house because his neighborhood wasn't as secluded as mine. He usually got more visitors and I loved to watch the mirth and creativity of all the people participating in the event. I loved children and looked forward to having kids of my own one day, so I enjoyed seeing the little tikes as they ran around giggling while clad in adorable costumes!
I realized that this was a conflict of interests when it came to how I felt about the stupid holiday, but I couldn't help it. Whenever I saw one a little princess, tiny batman, or growling baby hulk, I melted. No matter what I personally wanted from this event or how I felt it should be, the little angels and demons were the reason I continued to be involved. They wanted candy and I had to give them what they asked for!
They were too cute not to comply with. Besides, I knew Rae and how she felt about the whole things and that knowledge was enough to fuel me into joining the celebration. I couldn't look at one of the sweet little faces, knowing they had the same excitement in them as Rae, and not drop a huge handful of assorted treats into their goodie bags.
When I got home Halloween night, Carolina was already asleep and our parents had retired to their bedroom for the night. Georgia was sitting up still, reading and drinking tea in her usual spot at that kitchen table. Why did we love this stupid kitchen so much? I often wondered why we didn't decide to congregate in the living room, where the furniture was definitely more comfortable, but we never did.
“Hi,” I said as I walked through the back entry. I waved to Chris before I closed and locked the heavy inside door behind me.
“Hi,” Georgia returned. “How'd it go? Did you get bitten by any vampires or have your brains chewed on by a zombie?”
I looked at Georgia with a sober expression. “Gross.”
Georgia just laughed and gestured for me to join her at the table.
“Well?” she prompted me, trying to get a real answer to her question.
“It was fun,” I said. “There were some really cute costumes this year. What about here? How did things go?”
“You mean, how did Carolina handle it all?” Georgia said, seeing through my words to what I really wanted to ask.
I looked down at my hands sadly and inhaled deeply. “Yeah,” I answered, returning my gaze to Georgia.
“Okay,” she replied. “As you can imagine, there were good and bad moments. She had to excuse herself a few times, especially when little army dudes came to the door.”
“Yeah.”
“In some ways, it was better than I expected and in other ways, worse,” Georgia confessed.
“I don't know what the worse part would be?” I mused.
Georgia looked at me perplexed. “What do you mean, 'worse part'?”
“Well,” I started. “Give me a second to figure out how to say it correctly.”
“Sure,” Georgia said nonjudgmentally. She just sipped her tea while she waited for me to collect my thoughts.
What I was thinking was that there were many reasons for Carolina's reactions to something as non-threatening as trick-or-treaters. I could easily see how it would be difficult to enjoy anything when you knew your beloved would never get to share it with you again. Still, there were other elements that would contribute to my sister's tears and heartache.
I saw how she could look at the children. The obvious thing was to realize she'd never have the family she thought she'd have; she'd never have children with Roger. That in itself was devastating. I knew because I wanted to have a family with Chris and I couldn't imagine not being able to see that come to fruition.
Then I could see how difficult it might be for Carolina to look at the future generation of soldiers some of the kids represented. I couldn't blame her for looking at them and feeling horrified that any of these youngsters might end up with the same fate as her husband. Thinking of that was really inauspicious at best. Had Carolina seen Roger in all the faces of the little soldiers that came to the house tonight?
Then what I finally said out loud to Georgia was, “I wonder what was worse for her, the loss or potential future she might have seen.”
Georgia nodded at me in understanding. The expression on her face told me she had gathered the deeper meaning behind my simple words. Georgia was pretty terse at times, but she was very insightful and loving as well. One of her personality traits was her abilit
y to read people and to hear the things they didn't really say, but still conveyed in one way or another.
“Both,” she replied, sounding tired.
Thanksgiving was a big event in our home, just as Christmas was. For both, Chris and David always joined us for festivities and I was so happy that they did. Though Thanksgiving was mostly about the food, Christmas was always the most important holiday in for my family. It wasn't because of mother's birthday, but because my parents really wanted to instill a strong faith into us girls.
We usually ate later in the day on thanksgiving; traditionally an evening meal. We spent the day preparing for the feast while watching football and playing games together. Rae's family always had Jenny's mother over for a Thanksgiving breakfast then they spent the afternoon at her dad, Timothy's older brother's house for the big family meal. This freed her up in the evening, so she always joined us for our holiday activities.
My parents always said that we didn't need one single day to be thankful for our blessings. They said we ought to be thankfully every day, so that was the main reason we didn't make too much of a fuss over Thanksgiving. Another was because we didn't really have any living extended family members to make it a bigger event. Our holiday was calm and homebound.
Christmas was much the same, except that we generally spent it up at the land. My mom liked to be where she felt closes to God and her parents for birthday. David and Chris would come up in their camper and stay overnight with us. In celebration, David and my parents would read inspirational stories to us around the campfire. Despite the cold and snows, we would get a large bonfire flaming in the night and we'd wrap our warmly clad bodies in quilts as we enjoyed a natural evening outside.
We all liked Christmas lights, so we often had those strung about our home and our cabin, but we didn't usually have a tree. My sisters and I always helped my mom prepare a homemade birthday cake for Jesus and then we'd “surprise” mom with a cake of her own. The one tradition we did follow was the gift exchange, though that was far from traditional.
David was right there with my parents when it came to hating the over-commercialization of Christmas. Their desire was to make this time of year more about celebrating our faith and our lives; therefore, we were encouraged to disconnect from the world. We focused on one another, not being allowed to have our cells or computers. That was to be reflected in our gifts for one another as well.
The gifts we were allowed to exchange had certain guidelines in which to follow. First and foremost, they were not to be store-bought, in a small defiance of the commercialism. Secondly, they had to be something personal; personal to the giver as much as the receiver. This was to show you really thought about the person and gave them something with love. Lastly, it had to be something practical or off the land. This was another way to thumb one's nose at the commercial leaders of our world, but it was also meant to teach us that material possessions only had the value we attached to them; everything could be replaced, except each other.
I really loved how we celebrated our holidays. It fit my personality and made me feel like our celebrations were more intimate and rich. Other people thought we were strange, but there was nothing new in that sentiment. I felt happy and satisfied so I really didn't care about other people's opinions.
The whole holiday season was especially stressful this year. Not only were people struggling financially with layoffs and the poor economic state of our nation, but people were afraid that this would be the last year of existence. People were going a little crazy and behaving erratically whether they believed the world was going to end or not.
The whole second half of the year was tainted by the highly anticipated arrival of the Mayan doomsday prophesy of December 21, 2012. The fact that it coincided with the Hopi Blue Star prophesy just made it all the more convincing for some people. For others, the increased force of natural disasters, such as Hurricane Katrina in 2005 and Hurricane Ike in 2008, the global-warming issues, or the concerns about polar field reversals was proof that the world was dying.
Everything seemed to be feeding these worries and “end of the world” propaganda thrived. Blockbuster movies played on people's imaginations as to what might be and their suggestions only contributed to additional strain on an already paranoid public. Thankfully, the whole event had been anti-climactic, as the world continued in its normal pattern on and after the expected day of destruction.
“I wonder how many people quit their jobs and used their life savings to enjoy the final days of life on earth,” Rae wondered aloud.
“Or how many people are rushing out to buy Christmas presents they never thought they'd need so didn't invest in,” I said.
“People are stupid,” Georgia said, sipping her coffee as she half-assed joined our conversation while she was watching the news.
“Wow,” Chris said as he entered into the room, “The world must really have ended since you're all actually hanging out in the living room and not huddled around the kitchen table.”
“Haa haa,” Georgia replied slightly distracted from where she was perched on the edge of the coffee table.
Rae and I giggled while Carolina greeted Chris by saying, “Hi.”
Chris beamed his handsome smile at Carolina and threw a small wave her way. “I see you took the most comfortable spot in the joint, huh, Georgia?”
“Don't be jealous,” Georgia retorted playfully.
“I can't help it,” Chris told her, then he leaned over to kiss me, saying, “Hey, babe.”
Before I could replied, Rae jumped into the mix, amicably pushing at me and puckering up in Chris's direction while saying, “Where's mine?”
“I got yours right here, missy!” Chris teased as he turned slightly and smacked his ass while pointing it Rae's direction.
Rae rewarded his efforts with a woot hoot and smacked him in the butt.
I laughed and felt pleased when I saw Carolina display one of her rare smiles as Chris squished between Rae and me on the couch. Carolina was sitting in the Lazy Boy adjacent to the where we were seated, knitting.
“You better watch who you're sticking that thing at,” Georgia threatened in a frolicsome way. “Point it at me and I'm definitely kicking it!”
“Yeah!” Rae cheered.
“Whatever,” Chris replied with good humor. “It's hard to take you seriously when you barely reach above my knee.”
“You want to go, punk?” Georgia swiveled around on top of the coffee table towards him and playfully put up her fists, like she was ready to duke it out with him. “Huh? Huh?”
“Oh, yeah,” Chris smiled cheerfully. “Let's do this!”
With that, Georgia and Chris chased each other through the house and out the back door. Rae raced after them, razzing them the whole way. Once outside, I could hear them wrestling about in the yard. Occasionally, there'd be an audible whelp or a frisky roar. Whenever their antics caused them to sound out with group laughter, Carolina would emit a soft chuckle. She didn't laugh much these days, so it was a rare treat.
When she noticed me looking at her, she asked, “Don't you want to join them?”
“No, not unless you do,” I told her brightly.
“I'm okay,” she replied. “I don't feel much like rough housing.”
I nodded in understanding, “Me either.”
Carolina stopped knitting, laying her materials in her lap and looked at me closely. As she assessed me, I evaluated her in turn. She looked pale and withdrawn; darkness encircled her eyes and I knew she'd not been sleeping well.
“You need to take better care of yourself,” I noted.
“Hmmm,” she murmured.
“I know you're not sleeping,” I acknowledged. “I can hear you crying sometimes.”
Carolina looked down sadly. “Oh,” was all she said.
“Do you want to talk?” I asked.
She just shook her head at me. I hadn't expected her to want to discuss Roger, but I wanted to offer anyway. Laying her knitting on the side tabl
e, she got up and joined me on the couch. We leaned against one another casually and she rested her head against my arm.
“I'm always here,” I told her.
“I know,” she whispered. “It just hurts too much, that's all.”
Now it was my turn to murmur, “Hmmm.”
“One day, okay?”
“Yeah, sure,” I encouraged. “Whenever you're ready.”
“So,” Carolina said, lifting her hands up in front of her to inspect her nails as she relaxed beside me.
“So,” I echoed.
“Worst apocalypse ever, huh?” she asked, surprising me with her joke.
I laughed; I couldn't help it.
“Yeah,” I agreed. “The worst.”
Even with the successful ending of the Maya's long count calendar and the heralding of the New Year, it seemed we were destined for mayhem. Shortly after New Year's, there ended up being a standoff between the government and some religious compound in Texas. The news was inundated with the story and their coverage just added to the hype. It reminded me that the dissemination of information was a double-edged sword; it allowed more people to be aware, but it encouraged others to seek their “15 minutes of fame.”
The new story was about cult members that had bunkered down in a compound they'd been building over the last five years. They had initially intended it to be used as a fortress against whatever evil the Mayan's were warning us about or the imminent Second Coming of Christ, but when that didn't happen, they changed their ambitions. The compound became a prison for women and children.
The corruption and abuse displayed by this so called “religious order” was appalling. The whole occurrence caused tensions between religions to increase worldwide, but especially in America. We were supposed to be the “Land of the Free,” so there was a weird debate about the whole situation. There were some who said the cult had a right to live the way they believed regardless of the questionable morality of their “religion.” This just fueled the separation of peoples and generated riots and explosive protests.
A Ripple of Fear (Fear of Dakota #1) Page 16