She couldn’t even imagine. “Sometimes life doesn’t seem fair.”
“No.” Jillian leaned forward again. “It doesn’t.”
Colt must be beside himself. Watching Adam go through that... Well, that was something she wouldn’t wish on her worst enemy.
“What hospital is he at?”
“Children’s Hospital Los Angeles.”
She’d heard of the place. She’d ridden in a Grand Prix that benefited their oncology department back when she’d been Natalie Goodman, international equestrian superstar. They’d brought a few of their kids out to the competitions. Sickly, wheelchair-bound adolescents who had broken her heart.
Colt’s nephew would be one of them. It made her feel ill.
“I just wish there was something I could do.”
Jillian clearly wished the same thing. “We’re working out a schedule to help take care of Claire’s animals.”
“Can you put me down for a rotation? Colt might be mad at me, but he can’t stop me from helping his sister. Besides, he showed me how to care for the dogs so I know what to do.”
Natalie went back to staring at her again. “I don’t know. I’d have to ask Colt.”
Of course she would. And Colt would say no. And of course she’d be banned from helping him in any way.
“There has to be something I can do.”
“If I was you I would just work on getting Playboy out of there. And for everyone’s sake, promising not to ride.”
The sick feeling flipped her stomach again. “I need to ride.”
“Natalie, you could die.”
“So could you.” She glanced out the window of her apartment, at the cars lined up like cows at a feeder along the front of the complex. At the rooftops of downtown Via Del Caballo. At the mountains beyond. The rain had subsided, leaving behind a sky so crystalline it was like the bottom of a glass. She turned back to her friend. “You could die crossing the street.”
Jillian’s green eyes flared. “The difference being the street won’t rear up and fall over on me.”
“Playboy won’t do that to me, either.”
Jillian’s petite hands reached out to her friend’s. “Natalie, please. I’m not asking you to give up horses. You’re a dynamite trainer. That’s what you should be doing.” She gave Natalie’s hands a squeeze. “I’ve heard of trainers that never ride. They hire assistants.”
Natalie couldn’t contain her huff of laughter. “Assistants. As if I could afford that.”
“Not now.” Jillian’s eyes conveyed how much it meant to her that she heed her advice. “Once word gets out that you’re back on your feet, people will want you for a trainer again.” But then Jillian’s expression grew curious. “And that brings me to my next question. Why haven’t you told people you’re training again?”
“I have told people.”
“Not everyone.” Jillian’s eyes narrowed. “You’ve taken on locals and that’s it. You haven’t done anything to advertise your services. It’s almost like you’re in hiding.”
Frankly, she hadn’t given it much thought. “People know I’m back. The people I care about.”
“You used to be one of the best hunter/jumper trainers in the United States. Your talent is wasted on locals.”
“Not on Laney.”
Jillian’s face softened. “Laney being the exception. She could really be something if you’d only put a little effort into getting back in the game.”
Back in the game. She hadn’t believed she was out of it.
“Promise me you’ll think about it.” Jillian stood. “That you’ll stay off Playboy for a while. Just until you’ve had time to think things through.”
She didn’t want to promise her friend anything, but she did anyway. “I promise.”
She didn’t know if she would keep that promise, but their conversation had given her an idea. A really great idea. One that might earn her forgiveness. Maybe. Even if it didn’t, it would lift little Adam’s spirits—and that meant she had to try.
* * *
IT TOOK COLT a week to calm down. It wasn’t that he was mad at Natalie. It was more that he was angry with himself for getting sucked into helping her.
And kissing her.
That was the hardest thing of all to forget. Sure, he didn’t live like a saint. There’d been the occasional fling out on the road. But that was just it. They’d been quick and easy to forget. He hadn’t been able to forget Natalie.
She didn’t make it easy for him, either. Sam revealed that she’d been coming around on weekends and helping out. She’d taken Playboy home, so she had no reason to drop by, but both Sam and Jillian sang her praises. He’d be a jerk not to acknowledge that he appreciated her help.
So as he arrived at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles two weeks later, he was still thinking about her and wondering if she’d ridden at all. He refused to ask. It’d probably get back to her somehow, and he didn’t want Natalie to know that he cared. He didn’t care.
“How’s my big guy?” he asked as he entered Adam’s room.
“Uncle Colt!”
He went to his nephew’s bed, trying not to blanch at the sight of his pale skin, grabbing his foot beneath a light blue hospital blanket and giving it a tug. He had to force himself to smile as he turned toward his sister who sat by Adam’s bed.
“Here,” he said, thrusting flowers at her. “Happy Mother’s Day.”
Claire stared at the flowers in surprise, her eyes filling with tears before she took them from him with a nearly inaudible, “Thanks.”
Hell of a way to spend her Mother’s Day, he thought. Damn it. His sister had spent far too many days next to the sickbed of a loved one. He’d always believed in God, but it was hard to keep the faith when he had to watch people suffer over and over again.
“How was your drive?” she asked as she set the flowers down on the brown Formica table by Adam’s bed.
“Fine,” he said, moving around to the bed’s other side. He’d been cleared for admittance by the nurse who ran the floor. His nephew’s white blood cell count was still high enough that his immune system could resist any bugs Colt might inadvertently bring into the room, although he’d been strictly forbidden to touch or kiss the boy, and he’d had to scrub himself down with antibacterial gel.
“Long,” he added. “I’ll be glad when rodeo season ends.”
He felt as though he’d been on the road nonstop for days. His rodeo commitments were impossible to get out of. The dates had been booked years in advance and finding a replacement was nearly impossible. Not that he hadn’t tried. He’d rather spend every moment by his nephew’s side, but it just wasn’t possible.
“How are you, bud?” he asked his nephew, taking a seat in a chair with bright blue cushions and the permanent indent where hundreds of rear ends had sat.
Adam’s shoulders beneath the pastel yellow hospital gown lifted up and down. He’d had a tough time of it. It killed Colt every time he heard the stories of how Adam cried when they injected the chemo into his veins. He’d gone from a naive kid who equated his sickness to a bad cold, to a little boy who sensed something serious had happened. It scared the you-know-what out of his nephew. Colt could see the fear in his eyes. Tore him up every time.
“Thanks for coming by,” his nephew said softly.
“Are you kidding? I’d be here more often if I could.”
He caught his sister’s eyes. The sadness in them couldn’t be mistaken, nor could the worry. She looked especially pale before a backdrop of gray walls and gray décor. Not even the sunshine beaming in from the window behind her could add color to her cheeks.
“I appreciate all you’ve been doing, Colt. I know the dogs can be a real pain.”
He hoped his smile eased her worry. “Actually, I’ve had lots of help. Sam won’t be joining my act until the Fourth of July shows, so she’s been at the ranch. So has Jillian and a few other people.”
“Like Natalie?”
The worry had fade
d into a teasing glint. Colt hated to burst her bubble so he kept quiet about recent developments. “Yes, like Natalie.”
He had no idea why his sister seemed convinced he should be interested in the woman, but if thinking about him getting involved in a romantic relationship helped take her mind off other things, so be it.
“I was surprised when she called today and asked if she could come by.”
He would have fallen out of his chair if he hadn’t been in one of those thickly padded wooden monstrosities common to hospital rooms. He couldn’t keep his boots from slamming down on the floor, though.
“Coming by?”
Claire had straightened, too, green eyes wide. “Yeah. I thought you knew.”
And there it was. The reason why he should have told her about Natalie, although who would ever have thought she’d overstep the bounds by driving down and visiting his nephew.
“What time is she supposed to be here?” Maybe he could leave beforehand.
“Any minute now. She wanted to make sure you were here, too.” Claire shoved her long hair over one shoulder. “I’ll be honest though, it never occurred to me—”
His sister’s startled gaze caused him to turn toward the door. He had to blink to make sure his eyes weren’t deceiving him. Hawkman, hero of the DC Comics world, stood in the entryway. Or the actor who played him, anyway. Rand Jefferson, household name, recreating his big-screen persona. Colt wasn’t prone to gawking, but he felt his jaw drop. Behind him Adam gasped, and Colt knew his nephew had seen him, too, especially when he heard Adam say in a reverent tone, “Hawkman.”
Someone appeared from behind the actor. Natalie. She gave Colt a smile, one full of pride, smugness and something else, something like a plea for forgiveness.
“Hello, young knight,” Hawkman said, coming into the room in full comic book regalia, which meant the most ludicrous set of wings Colt had ever seen. They were huge. And...feathery...and barely fit through the door. But that wasn’t all. He was shirtless but for crisscrossed straps that did nothing to conceal his six-pack abs. He wore green tights that should have looked ridiculous on a man, but didn’t, and he carried some kind of hammer-like mace thing, but for some strange reason it all worked. “I am told you are ill.”
When Colt looked back at his sister, he could see that her eyes had filled with amusement. His nephew’s eyes had gone wide, too, but that wasn’t what held Colt’s gaze. What kept him riveted was the transformation Adam had undergone. The sadness had fled, and the fear, too. His shoulders, once bent by exhaustion, were straight.
Colt saw the boy mouth a single word. “Cool.”
It was. Colt glanced at Natalie and he knew that somehow she’d orchestrated the whole thing. In that moment he could have kissed her, although to be honest, he’d been wanting to kiss her for days.
Chapter Twelve
As ideas went, it had been one of her better ones, Natalie thought. Adam had positively lit up when Rand, aka Randy, had walked into the room.
“How in the heck did you arrange this?” Claire asked. They’d been nudged into the corner of Adam’s room to make way for hospital staff, doctors and, even more important, other young patients who wanted to meet one of the world’s best-known superheroes, Hawkman.
“With the help of the hospital, of course.” Natalie smiled at one of the nurses. The woman in the brightly colored smock seemed about ready to swoon when she caught sight of Rand Jefferson’s face. “Happy Mother’s Day, by the way.”
Claire’s expression softened. “Thanks.”
“Sorry you have to spend it here.”
Claire nodded, eyes catching on Randy. “At least the view’s improved.”
Yes, it was a good view, Natalie thought, watching Colt. He wore no hat today, but he still managed to appear as if he’d ridden in from the range in his tan button-down, jeans and cowboy boots.
“Did the hospital arrange for Rand?”
“No, actually.” Natalie smiled, liking the way Colt looked without his hat. He had the makings of sideburns, she realized, wondering how she’d missed that before. “That was me.”
“You?”
“I’ve known Randy for a long, long time.”
“You’re kidding!”
Natalie nodded. “We went to high school together.” She glanced at her old friend with his thick head of blond hair and buff body. “The product of a Southern California public school education.”
The two women went back to staring at the scene by Adam’s bed. Randy had always been good-looking, but his big break playing a peacekeeper from another planet had forced him to bulk up...a lot. The result was a godlike creature that Natalie barely recognized and that made most women swoon...such as that nurse. Not Natalie, though. She’d known Randy too long. It was hard to think romantically about a man you’d seen cry like a baby when he’d had his tonsils removed.
Colt seemed impressed by her friend, too, and at least he was smiling now. That was better than before. He was surrounded by hospital staff, each of whom gawked at Randy, and each of whom had their picture taken. They were wheeling their patients in and out. Adam held court from his position in bed, and Natalie couldn’t help but smile when she spotted the look of pride on his face as yet another sick child was introduced to his new friend.
“I can’t believe you know him,” she heard Claire murmur.
“Actually, I helped him get his big break.”
Claire’s brows lifted as she waited for an explanation.
“Couple of years ago Randy was still waiting for his acting career to click. We’d kept in touch, especially since we both ended up moving north. He’d had a few bit parts on sitcoms and commercials and whatnot, but nothing substantial. One of my clients at Uptown Farms was a talent scout. She happened to mention they were looking for a Nordic-type actor to play in a big-budget film, and I thought of Randy. Now he’s—” she made air quotes with her fingers “—Hawkman.” She tried not to smirk because it just seemed insane. While she’d been out flat dealing with her head injury her friend had suddenly turned into a movie star. “He’s promised to name his first-born after me.”
“No!”
“Not really, but he tells me all the time that he owes me big, so this is payback. Well, a little bit of payback, he says. I’m supposed to go to his next Hawkman movie premiere, and to be honest, I’m really looking forward to that.”
Claire’s eyes studied her friend. “Well, I’m surprised you didn’t volunteer for the job of surrogate mother.” A smile tilted her lips. “I think a lot of women would have.”
Natalie laughed. “No. There was never anything like that between us. He was always just my friend, the actor. To tell you the truth, my friend Jillian dated a bigger star. Well, maybe not so big now that Hawkman’s such a huge success.”
“Jillian, yeah. She dated Jason Brown.”
She’d forgotten for a moment that Claire knew Jillian, too.
“Yeah. And we all know how that turned out.” Natalie made a moue of distaste. “I told Randy if he ever treated a woman the way Jason Brown treated Jillian, I would kill him. Anyway, when I called him and told him about Adam he was only too happy to swing by.”
“Well, it made Adam’s day.” Claire’s words were a near sigh. Clearly she’d fallen under Randy’s spell, too, and that prompted Natalie to study her for a moment. Colt’s sister was gorgeous with her long black hair and green eyes and Natalie wondered if she and Randy might make a couple, but then she quashed the idea. She doubted Claire had time for romance. Her gaze shifted to Adam, barely visible between all the people that crowded his room. Not for a long time.
They’d been forgotten in their corner. “He’s a really nice guy. He’d had no idea about my wreck, what with all this.” She waved her hand around at the crowd of people. “I guess he’s got his choice of new projects, but he’s signed on to do two more Hawkman movies. Even with all that, his first question to me was how he could help.” She smiled at the memory. “He’s just always been gr
eat. The same old Rand I remember from high school, except he went by his real name back then, Randy Jones. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to call him Rand.”
She and Claire shared a smile, but as Natalie went back to watching the scene in front of them, her smile faded. Jillian had been right. She’d been avoiding her old friends. Randy had made that clear. He’d asked her why she hadn’t called and told him about her accident, and then made her feel guilty about missing the premiere of his movie. It’d reminded her that she’d had a life before the wreck and that Randy was a part of it. She was one of his oldest friends. It had brought her to tears and it’d made her wonder—why hadn’t she called?
Because she’d been hiding.
The realization that Jillian had been right prompted her to make other calls, too. She’d been admonished by a few, not in a bad way, just gently chided. They’d missed her. One—a former client—flat out admitted she’d felt pushed away and so had given up trying to help. Mostly, though, she’d been made to feel loved and missed by friends and other professionals in the hunter/jumper world. She’d been humbled by the realization that she hadn’t been forgotten. Humbled and rejuvenated. Time to quit pouting. Time to start rebuilding her business. Time to get back in the game. She didn’t need to ride for that.
But she wanted to. Oh, how she wanted to.
She’d done some serious soul searching during the past two weeks. Colt and Jillian had forced her to take a good, hard look at her life choices. Was riding that important to her? Or was she being ridiculous? In the end it’d come down to one thing: passion. Horses were her life. If she couldn’t ride it would be like tearing out a piece of her heart. She had no family to worry about. No kids to try and support. Nobody but her friends would mourn her passing, and while she would hate to put them through that, it was no reason not to at least try.
A camera flashed. It brought Natalie back to the present. One of the nurses faked a swooning heroine pose in Randy’s arms, and the whole room erupted into laughter as yet another fan was born.
Her Rodeo Hero (Cowboys in Uniform) Page 10