by R S Burton
He smiled, while moving beneath me. Our eyes were locked as we moved together, building speed and friction simultaneously. The familiar warmth began to wash over me, encapsulating my entire body, surrounding me like an aura of lust. My head fell back, but Tobias caught it with his hands.
“Look at me.” He whispered.
And I did, I lifted my head back up and looked at him. His jaw was clenched, but his eyes were soft. He seemed vulnerable, like he was breaking down his walls without words.
“Ruby.” my name left his lips with a guttural groan, it was all I needed to send me over the edge. I rocked against him, mumbling his name under my breath as my release hit me. He held me tighter as he too lost himself.
We fell asleep together on the sofa, wrapped in one another, naked and spent. It was dark when I woke again and the lights in the apartment were off. Tobias was moving around, twitching beneath me.
“No.” He mumbled sleepily, pushing me away from him.
“Tobias?”
He shook his head and lifted his arms to protect himself. “No. Please. No.”
I climbed out from under the blanket that had been covering us and off the sofa. I pulled on my shirt and I looked down, Tobias was still asleep. He was having a nightmare, guilt surfaced. Not again.
I dropped beside him and ran my fingers through his hair. “Tobias.” I murmured. “You’re okay.”
His eyes flickered open, he sighed with relief. His eyes widened, “I’m okay.” He mirrored my words, but it sounded like he was asking a question.
“Do you want me to go?” I whispered.
Tobias shook his head and lifted his hand to my face. “I want you here, where I know you’re safe.”
I smiled, I was safe now regardless. Tobias’ and his worry meant he’d had Chris the door guard keeping tabs on me. It had paid off. I was free… and this time I didn’t need to worry about Ben showing up in my life randomly.
“Let's go to bed then.” I smiled, holding my hand out to him. Tobias took it and together we walked to his bedroom and fell into bed.
I woke the next morning alone. The apartment was filled with a delicious aroma, one that made my stomach roar with hunger. I sat up in Tobias’ bed, ready to venture out and see what was going on, but before I could, Tobias walked through the door carrying a large tray.
“Stay there.” He smiled. “I’ve made you breakfast in bed.”
I giggled, I’d never had breakfast in bed made for me, and I gathered by the goofy grin on Tobias usually oh so serious face, he had never made it for anyone either.
“This is sweet.” I replied. “Thank you.”
Tobias placed the tray on my lap. He’d made pancakes with bacon and bananas and maple syrup on top. He’d also made a coffee, and freshly squeezed juice as well.
“I was thinking about what you said.” He murmured sitting down at the end of the bed. “About spending the weekend together.”
My heart sunk. He didn’t think it was a good idea, and breakfast was his way of letting me down gently.
“Oh.” I mumbled, my throat suddenly dry.
“Ruby.” He whispered, reaching for my hand. “Look at me.” his words were urgent, like he needed to see my reaction. I looked up, even though I wanted to move the plate of food to the side, and run from Tobias’ apartment in shame. He smiled and tilted his head.
“I want you here.” he whispered. I could see his eyes were filled with fear but I didn’t know why. My heart inflated and I smiled back at him. He wanted me here, at least for now… and in the moment, that was enough for my damaged heart.
Tobias disappeared from the room for a few minutes so I tucked into the breakfast he’d made me. I took a sip of Juice as he walked back in with his own tray.
He sat down beside me on the bed.
“Is this what couples do?” He murmured.
I shrugged my shoulders and looked over at him. “Your guess is as good as mine.” I smiled and leaned across to kiss him on the cheek. “But if it isn’t, it should be.”
“I agree.” he replied.
“So do you have any work to attend to today?” I looked back down at my food and picked up a piece of banana.
“No. Actually I was thinking we could go for a walk through Anderson park.”
“You don’t mind being seen in public with me. ”
“Why would I mind Ruby.” Tobias replied with wry annoyance.
“The rumor mill, paparazzi…”
“I don’t care about them. They can report what they like.” he shifted and pushed his tray down his lap. “Unless you care about being seen with me.”
I shook my head. “Of course not.”
“Well it’s settled then, we’ll go for a walk after breakfast.”
“Okay. Sounds good.”
After we were both finished I showered and dressed in clean clothes. When I left the room, Tobias was already waiting in the living area. He looked up at me and smiled.
“Shall we go?”
I nodded and together we walked from the apartment. I’d be lying if I didn’t notice eyes on us the minute was walked out onto the busy city street. Tobias was a well known face, and I was a nobody. The polarising view of us together was bound to get people talking, He placed his hand on the small of my back and leaned in.
“You’re tense.”
“You’re very perceptive today.” I mused.
“We can go back to the apartment if this is too much.” he replied sympathetically.
“I’m fine.” I assured him. Because I was. maybe.
By the time we arrived at the park I’d managed to relax a bit. It was a beautiful serene place, with perfectly placed fragrant flowers in every direction. I’d never been a truly girly girl, trackpants, a bowl of popcorn and a movie had always been more my scene, but this was breathtaking.
I felt more at peace than I had in a long time.
“You look deep in thought.” Tobias whispered.
“This place.” I replied. “Why haven’t I been here until now.”
I drew my fingers along the top of a concrete railing as I leaned down to inhale the sweet scent of an orange coloured rose.
The heat of the sun hit my skin, warming me enough to remove my jacket. Tobias pointed to the small man made lake. “Dad used to bring me here to think.” he murmured. “I used to sit on that rock for hours.”
“He was a good Dad, wasn’t he.”
Tobias nodded. “Most of the time. But he wasn’t perfect.”
“Have you been here lately?”
Tobias shook his head and looked away from the lake and the rock and turned his attention to me. “Not since I was 17.” he admitted. “I found other ways of dealing with my teenage emotions.”
I wanted to ask what it was he had been dealing with. What had messed him up so much that he felt like he had to close off from others, but I didn’t. He was opening up as much as he could, and I was thankful for anything I could get.
Maybe, just maybe there was hope for us after all.
Chapter Eighteen
I sucked in a deep breath and glanced around the park once more, surveying the many beautiful flowers that surrounded me. I felt a warmth envelope me inexplicably.
“I can see why this place helped. I feel at peace just standing here.”
“We should head back.” Tobias said suddenly without explanation. I turned and looked at him. He was looking off in the distance. I went to turn, but he grabbed my shoulder and shook his head.
“There’s a paparazzi leech hiding out there.” He replied, disdain dripping from his words.
“I thought you didn’t care.” I whispered, it was what he had inferred in the apartment, why had that changed now?
He frowned and shook his head. “I don’t care what they say about me. But I don’t want to drag you down with me.”
I could tell he was being evasive, that there was more to his words and the reasoning behind them. I could feel his walls begin to rebuild around him, he was clos
ing off again.
I forced a smile onto my face and shrugged. “We could really give them something to report.” I was joking, but the hardened look on Tobias’ face was enough to make me realize that he wasn't’ at all amused. He shook his head and clenched his teeth.
“That wouldn’t be wise. I don’t want to field a million questions about the girl in the park.”
The girl in the park. Me. Dealing with me in the media was a burden Tobias didn’t want… or need and I understood, but it still hurt.
“Relax tonto, I was kidding.” I retorted.
He relaxed and looked toward the park's exit. He was uncomfortable, and I hated it. I nodded and turned towards the gate. “Come on then, let's head back.”
“I’m sorry.” he whispered as he began to walk toward the exit.
“What for?” I followed after him, shoving my hands into the pockets of my knit jumper.
“Making us leave.”
I shook my head. “Don’t be sorry. I can always come back here.”
“You’re not planning on leaving anymore?” Tobias exclaimed as we walked through the park exit.
I frowned and looked away. I hadn’t really decided what I was doing, and it had been a couple of weeks since either of us had mentioned it. I was surprised he had even remembered.
“I don’t know.” I murmured.
As tempting as another fresh start sounded, there was something keeping me here. Or Someone.
“I’ll keep my word. I’ll help you move if you want to.” he mumbled.
“For now I’m not going anywhere Tobias.” I replied, I was having trouble catching my breath as it was. A move wasn’t on the cards, not for now at least.
“Good.” he murmured.
We walked through the busy streets of the city until we reached Tobias’ apartment building.
“There’s a restaurant in the apartment complex. Maybe I could make reservations for tonight?”
“Is that a good idea?” I murmured walking into his apartment behind him. After the paparazzi had spooked him in the park, I wasn’t sure heading out to another public setting was a good idea.
“They have private booths.” Tobias exclaimed. “I eat there often.”
“Okay then.” I nodded. “I’d like that.”
Tobias grinned and picked up his phone just as I realised the bag of clothes I’d packed consisted of a couple of pairs of jeans and two t-shirts.
“Uh, I don’t have anything to wear. Maybe we should just stay in.”
Tobias turned around and looked at me. His eyes traced up then down. He smiled and placed his hand on my shoulder. “You look fine.” He murmured.
I looked down at my dark blue jeans and white shirt, My cream colored ribbed woollen jumper tied the casual outfit together nicely, but I was very obviously dressed for comfort, not a dinner date… if you could call it that.
“I’d be underdressed.” I whispered. It was obvious this was a ritzy apartment building which meant the onsite restaurant was probably up there in terms of standards too.
Tobias lifted his hand to my chin and tilted my face up. “Underdressed would be naked, but even then I still wouldn’t complain.” He smiled widely and his blue eyes danced. I liked seeing him smile, and I liked the playful side of him too. For a moment, It almost made me forget that tomorrow this weekend, our weekend, would end and all of this would end too. Tobias pressed his lips against mine.
“If it makes you feel any better, I wasn’t planning on changing either.”
I looked down at absorbed Tobias outfit. He was wearing the jeans he’d been wearing the first day he’d picked me up from my old apartment, His shirt was casual too, it was an old faded band tee.
“Really?”
He nodded and leaned forward again. “Really.” he replied before kissing me again.
“So should I make the reservations?” he murmured.
I nodded. “Yes.”
After Tobias made the reservations, we spent the rest of the afternoon watching Quentin Tarantino movies. It was nice, the simplicity of just sitting on the couch, snuggled under a blanket together made me feel like we weren’t fooling ourselves after all.
Later in the evening we went down to the restaurant for dinner, As we walked through the restaurant doors a tall and beautiful blonde woman walked across the foyer and greeted us.
“Tobias, you have company tonight.” She replied, surprise evident in her voice.
“Yes. I made the reservation for two” He replied, without giving much more of an explanation.
“Well follow me, I’ll take you to your table.” She replied with a sultry smile.
Tobias placed his hand on the small of my back, I looked at him and smiled before following the the woman through the restaurant. She stopped before opening a tinted glass sliding door and gestured us into the room.
“Can I get you any drinks?” she looked at Tobias, smiling at him, bathing him in attention. It was almost as though I wasn’t even there. Tobias was oblivious, he looked at me and raised his eyebrows.
“Well?” He murmured. “Can I suggest the 50 year old Glenfiddich they have. Your father would have been a big fan.”
I smiled, impressed that Tobias had remembered my father's love of whiskey. I nodded. “Yes he would have, but the price would have been well out of our reach.” I murmured. I was well aware that with age the price of such liquor increased, and fifty years was a long time for a drink to age. Still it seemed right to order a glass, in remembrance of him. “But yes, I think I’d like to drink a glass, in his memory.”
“Two Glenfiddich doubles please. Straight for me.”
“Me too.” I added, looking up at the maitre de. She frowned in my direction, like I’d cracked some sort of code that remained elusive to her. She left the room a moment later, sliding the door shut behind her.
“She likes you.” I noted. “Do you come here alot?”
“At least once a week.” He replied. “And I don’t care if she likes me. The feeling isn’t mutual… not to mention all she knows is my name. She knows of me, she doesn’t know me.”
“Maybe she wants to know you.” i whispered. It was clear not I wasn’t talking about the maitre de anymore. I was talking about myself. Tobias seemed to understand the meaning behind my words, he shifted uncomfortably and looked down at the table.
He frowned before looking up again. “I need to tell you something.”
My stomach turned, with his words so sullen, it didn’t seem likely to be a good something.
“Go ahead.” I whispered.
“I wasn’t at a client dinner.” he exclaimed.
“Huh?”
“The other day, When I left work early… it wasn’t for a client dinner. At least, not exactly. When I called you, I was at Louisa Taylors house.”
The Supermodel he was trying to represent?
“Huh?” I tilted my head, unsure what he was getting at. I knew he’d wanted to bring her business to the company, she was worth millions, representing her in any shape or form would surely do wonders for Clarke industries, giving the firm a much needed boost of modern popularity. I wasn’t jealous of his work. He did what he had to do.
His eyes hardened and he shook his head.
“She made clear she knew my reputation. She wanted me to represent her brand, but at a price.”
My stomach rolled. His reputation, the one he’d built over the years to keep women from getting too close, but close enough to… It hit me, he’d been at her house to bed her. To have meaningless sex with her like he had with so many others. I moved away from him, pushing my seat out from the table, I had no right to be jealous, we weren’t an item and we never had been, but my heart didn’t care about that.
“So you slept with her.” The words dried my mouth out. I didn’t want the answer, but in the same instance I needed it all the same.
“I went there with the intention to follow through.” He admitted. My heart twitched, I wanted to get up and run as far away as
I could. “But no. I got the call from Chris before long, and I left right away. Nothing happened.”
For a brief moment, relief washed over me. He hadn’t slept with her, but only because Chris the guard had called. Nausea engulfed me again.
“So if he’d never called….” I swallowed hard. The thought of Tobias with another woman made me sick to my stomach.
“Maybe.” he mused. “Maybe not.”
“Tobias.” I laughed dryly, although I was far from humored. “You’ve revelled in your reputation for years. You’re known as a firecat in the sack. You wouldn’t have turned a freaking supermodel down.”
Tobias’ head dropped forward, he nodded then looked back up at me with a wry smile.
“You once told me that my reputation was wrong… do you not think that way anymore.”
It was then, at that moment, I realised what he was doing. Even though we’d agreed this was a weekend thing, that come Monday I’d return to pining for him from afar and he’d return to being emotionally inhibited, he was scared. He was protecting himself. He was never going to let me in. I was a threat to him, just like every other woman he’d ever been with. Only I had gotten too close.
“I know you're not a cold person Tobias, but you are closed off. You don’t know how to let people in. You’re the lion, protecting your territory.” I whispered. And in his mind, I’m the wildfire, threatening to burn it all to the ground.
“Sleeping with Louisa Taylor is me protecting my territory?” He questioned, as if he was trying to figure out the answer himself.
“No, telling me you went there to sleep with her is protecting your territory.” I replied. “You’re pushing me away, maybe subconsciously, maybe on purpose. I wish I knew why, but It’s clear to me that you’ll never trust me enough to tell me.”
Tobias looked at me as though I had punched him in the gut. He folded his arms across his chest and leaned back in his chair. He went to speak, but I beat him to it.
“I don’t think I should stay tonight anymore.” I replied. “This isn’t going to work.”
“Ruby…” He whispered, his voice desperate. He reached out for me, but I pulled my hands off the table.
“It’s for the best.” I stood up and grabbed my purse. My apartment keys were in my pocket, in fact the only thing that was in Tobias’ apartment was my bag of clothes half of which were actually his clothes.