I shake my head. “It was perfect, just like you.” I cover my face and break down again. The tears choking out and my body shaking. I can’t leave this place. I want to stay here in our perfect paradise of James and Emily forever.
His hands caress my shoulders. I know he’s trying to sooth me. My Teddy Bear is trying to make me feel better. He’s so good at that. Lifting me, he cradles me into his arms like a baby and carries me to the couch, sitting down and keeping me nestled in his warm comforting arms. My butt pressed into his lap.
“Tell me what’s wrong,” he coaxes with a sweet gentle tone.
“I don’t want to leave. I don’t know what you want when we get back. I don’t know anything,” I cry.
“What do you want is the question?” He states.
“I know I love you.” I kiss his chest and pull my hands from my eyes.
“Awe there’s my beautiful woman. This was an amazing two weeks, Emily. I will cherish it forever. But I’ve not been naive thinking we are going to continue this once we get back. I know Johnathan is who you want. He’s the father to your children. I’ve known that since the beginning. I’m just happy to be spending the time I can with you.”
I don’t want Johnathan, I want James. Doesn’t he realize that?
“But…”
He cuts me off by shushing me with his finger over my lips. “I want you to go back to California. I want you to talk to him and figure out what you want. You may think you want me now. But when you’re around him you might feel differently. Living in our own world here has been amazing. But it’s not our real world. The realness of our world is back in California with Johnathan, Stacy, Dr.Golds, Deacon, Price, Keith and everybody else. We can’t live in this island of seclusion forever, even though I’d love to,” He explains softly and with as much love as one person could give to another. I don’t question his love or loyalty to me for a moment. It’s there and I just pray it stays.
“Okay,” I muster out, wiping the remainder of my tears from my face.
We cuddle on the couch a bit longer and I yawn. I’m so tired. Carrying me effortlessly in his arms, James takes me upstairs into our bedroom, strips me down and tucks me into bed. I’m exhausted.
“I love you and you will figure it all out soon.” He kisses my head and I close my eyes.
Chapter Fifteen
“Please place your trays and seat backs into the upright position,” the stewardess calls over the speaker system.
We are just about the land at LAX. This morning James woke me with the Suburban already packed and ready to go. He left out an outfit for me and we left shortly after I got dressed. We didn’t even have enough time to make love again. I fear last night might be the final time I ever get to have him deep inside of me. I just pray my nervous and panicky stomach is wrong.
It’s back to reality and tomorrow. I have another doctor’s appointment and I told Johnathan I’d be home today. So I’m sure he’ll be bugging me as soon as he knows I’ve landed. We’ve texted twice this week. That’s it. Just enough to tell him the babies are moving and when I’m coming home. He’s insisting I meet up with him soon so he can give me this present he can’t stop going on and on about.
James grabs my hand and the plane bumps as it hits the ground. I hate this part. Damn, I really don’t care for flying. It’s not my cup of tea.
“Back to reality,” I mope with a giant frown and James looks just about as happy about it as I do. Great, we’re two peas in a pod. A pod that feels like death warmed over, that is.
We’re in first class and I’m pregnant, which means I get off the plane first. I guess that’s the only bonus for riding in the luxury part of the plane. That, and the decent food.
Ten minutes later we are pulled into the gate and we’re walking through the airport to baggage claim and still James hasn’t said a word for me.
“Are you okay?” I grab his hand and make him stop walking.
“I’m fine Ms. Bronwyn, now please let’s get your luggage so we can take the Suburban back to the condo.”
Whoa! I’m Ms. Bronwyn now. I go from I love you and sweetheart, to my formal name. Something is up with this man and I don’t like it at all.
“Fine,” I huff, releasing his hand. He obviously doesn’t want to be touching me anyhow. So I put him on ignore and take the escalator down to the baggage claim.
Oh this is just great! Not only do we have twenty or so different paparazzi, Johnathan is standing with Davis and two other security guards. He just couldn’t let me get home and settled, could he? But damn he sure does look gorgeous as ever, in his worn jeans and black T.
Spotting us, he bolts after me and grabs me into his arms. “I’m missed you so much, Short Stack.” He hugs me and kisses my forehead. This doesn’t feel right. Not right at all. What is wrong with me?
“Thanks Johnathan.” I try to smile but can’t. I don’t mind seeing him. But I’m bummed to be back.
“Are you okay?” He pulls away and tries to make eye contact but I break it. I want to be left alone all of a sudden and I can feel James’s presence standing behind me. I need to get far, far away from this place.
“James, take care of her bags and see that they make it home safely. I am taking her with me and Davis will be fine to protect us both. Go home, take a break. You’ve been working every day for the past few weeks taking care of this beauty.” He rubs the side of my face with his hand and I have to force myself not to jerk away. Yep, I’m a bitch. I’ve officially confirmed it. Emily Sue Bronwyn is a complete bitch.
“Okay sir,” James says and I want to look at him, but I refrain. I know he doesn’t want to be around me anyhow. I don’t know what I did but it’s obviously something. Johnathan wraps his big thick arm over my shoulder and escorts me through the hoard of paps and fans, and Davis opens a Mercedes for us to slide into. I get in and Johnathan follows behind.
“So how are you?” He asks cheerfully and places his hand on my knee. The same hand that he had fingering another woman a few months back. That image couldn’t be scrubbed from my mind even if I tried.
“I’m sad,” I admit honestly.
“Why? Aren’t you glad to see me?” He sounds saddened by my words. But they’re the truth. My heart is in so much pain I think I might actually throw up. Two perfect weeks in heaven with James and now I’m back in hell.
“I’m fine, Johnathan, just really sad to be back. I loved Colorado,” I admit. But I have to leave out the part of my time with Mr. Wonderful.
“I bet it’s beautiful.” He says to fill the pregnant silence that permeates the backseat.
I nod, staring out the window, watching the world go by. Desperate to pull out my phone and text James. Does my heart ever get a fucking break? Seriously. Just when I think it’s healed or the pain couldn’t be any worse, I’m wrong and the pain becomes nearly unbearable.
I notice we are driving a lot longer than normal. Where is he taking me? We pull into a residential neighborhood and Davis gets out and presses a few buttons on a keypad which opens a tall wrought iron gate. Getting back into the car he drives through the gate and it shuts behind us. Pulling up a gravel road we come to a garage with six ports and windows on a second level. Is this where Johnathan lives? I’ve never been to his house before. It looks nice from the giant garage.
“Is this your home?” I ask as Davis gets out and opens my door.
“Yes.”
Snatching up my hand and folding it into his, he escorts me through a tall wooden gate that’s next to the garage. Behind the gate the yard is huge. Plush green grass, big tall bushes line the property and I can see a tall concrete retaining wall behind them. One hell of a secluded place and it’s gorgeous. Two little houses sit among the plush landscape that’s bursting with flowers. Both next to the other. They are adorable, kind of like a small cottage or something. Pulling me alongside him we walk up the cement path, past the houses and to the giant house that sits at the back of the property. It’s all white and two story
with huge windows. I sniff the air, in a deep inhale and the refreshing scent of the ocean fills my senses. We aren’t far from the coast.
We step-up three long wooden steps and through an open sliding glass door. Wow, this place is magnificent. It has worn hardwood floors, white walls, and a giant stone fireplace. Looking out I can see right outside the other side of the house. The kitchen is huge, state of the art and right off the living room. This place is a mansion. Guiding me by hand back a little further we meet a dining room that is open to the outdoors on one side, if you push back the large accordion glass doors. Which are now fully open. Wow, that’s amazing. Johnathan doesn’t say a word as he pulls me out through the other doors and into a small grass area that is surrounded by a raised four step deck. I penguin walk up the stairs and oh my god — we are right on the ocean. There’s a gate that has a staircase that you can take down right onto the beach. Holy cow!
I do a one eighty and check out the surroundings and there’s a pool off the raised deck. And the deck is so high, it’s somehow even with the second story. Must be the way the house was laid out. It is beautiful here. I could see right inside the windows of the house on the second story. If they weren’t privacy glassed, that is.
“Here.” He finally speaks and tugs me in tow back down the stairs and into this little room that is oddly under the pool that’s above our heads. It’s open to the elements but it’s covered and as I look up there’s a window in the roof that is the pool. Whoa! That’s awesome. I can see into the pool from here. Watching people swim. That’s neat.
“That’s cool,” I praise as I stare in awe at the ceiling. This would make for an amazing outdoor entertainment area with the raised deck, the pool, the grass, it’s all unique, but spectacularly perfect.
“I’m glad you like. Now, let’s see the rest of the inside.” I follow him without holding onto his hand any longer.
The first floor has a laundry room, a bedroom with a full bath, a half bath for guests next to the kitchen and a small office with built in desk and wall-to-wall bookshelves.
Up the stairs, which are right next to the living room is a hall that has a huge window at the end, that brings the beauty of the outdoors in. The hall is lined with bright white doors. A total of four other bedrooms all with attached baths and a small sitting area at the landing where the stairs come up.
Standing in what someone would call a master suite, which has an entire wall of windows, I gaze out over the ocean taking in this beautiful sight. “Why isn’t there any furniture?” I finally ask Johnathan. I’ve been wondering that since we came in.
“It’s your house to decorate, baby. So you can put whatever you want in here.”
What! I snap my head around to look at him. “Huh? Come again?”
I shake my head to make sure I hear him clearly this time.
“This is the gift I’ve bought you.” He gestures to the home with his hands.
“A house?! This big?” I screech. Sweet Jesus, this is a giant home. I can’t imagine how much a place like this would cost to own.
“It’s a house fit for us and the twins. Plus, our bodyguard and Stacy.”
I shake my head again. “What? Stacy?”
He chuckles and scrubs his stubbly chin. “Yes, I’ve already spoken to him about it. One of those little houses downstairs is his and the other is James’s”
“Does James know that?” My voice breaks.
This can’t be happening. He wants me to live with him? I know we are having kids together but I can’t live with Johnathan and be with him like that. I just can’t.
“No, but I know James and he will move wherever you move. He’s your bodyguard.”
Yeah, and he’s my lover!
“So Stacy is taking one house and James is taking the other. Then what? Where will Davis live?” I perk up a brow. Ha, I got him with that one. Maybe?
“He’s married. He lives with his wife. I can’t make him move here. But I found this place and I thought it would be perfect. The twins would love growing up on the beach, they’d each have their own rooms when they get older. We have five. We can have this room, and the garage I’m having converted into a studio. So we can practice or record there. This way I won’t have to leave and we can be together with the kids.”
I gulp back hard and anxiety consumes me. I start to panic. I can’t move in here and be with Johnathan. I need to be with James. Oh shit. This isn’t right. I love the house and Johnathan is right, this is perfect for the babies. But not him and me. What about James? He doesn’t really want me, does he? Our fantasy world is gone. Can I settle for Johnathan? Knowing he will probably cheat on me and drive me insane.
I guess I don’t have much of a choice. This takes all the guess work out of finding a home for the kids to grow up in. I will suck back the pain and try to be with Johnathan. I guess. This is what James expected, after all, and I’m not doing this for me; I’m doing it for the babies. So they can have a place to grow up and be cherished and nurtured with a close-knit family. Which oddly enough includes Stacy moving in. Which I can’t complain about. I love that idea. My three favorite men all on the same piece of land. Not a bad way to live.
“I’ll move in.” I smile the best I can and he hugs me from behind, his hands find their way to my stomach and it rolls. I think I might become violently ill. This feels wrong. It shouldn’t. But it does. Son of a bitch!
“I know we have a lot of work to do, you and me. But I promise I’m trying.” He kisses my hair that is cascading down my back. It’s gotten even longer since the last time I’ve seen him. Although he hasn’t changed a bit.
“I have a meeting to get to, but I’d love for you to stay here. I can’t get back tonight but Davis has already had a bed set up in James’s new house if you want to stay. If not, I can have him take you back to James’s. I just thought you might want to search the internet and relax at our new home. I can have Davis take you to the doctor tomorrow. I’m stuck recording all day and I’m giving James the week off of work.”
I nod. “Okay. I just need my things.”
“Already done.” I can hear the smile in his voice. He pulls his cell from his pocket. “Oh shit. I’m going to be late.” He kisses my head. “Your stuff is in the one house downstairs. Along with some food and I’ll see you tomorrow evening after I get back.”
“Okay.” I nod again and he leaves in a sprint, without another word.
This is way too much to take in.
I’d much rather be left alone in this mansion than deal with him possibly trying to have sex with me. Now that wouldn’t be a good idea. I rub my tummy. “Well, little girl and boy, this is your new home.” I say to them and leave my new bedroom and find my way into the small house that is going to be James’s.
It’s a cute place. One bedroom, one bath, a small kitchen, vaulted ceilings with whitewashed beams. It’s not large but it’s good sized and I can see James loving this place. It’s quaint and homey and as long as I make sure his bedroom is replicated like the one back at the condo I’m sure he’ll enjoy living here. Or I hope. Is what I mean.
I grab my laptop from my bag that apparently Davis dropped off and I take it into the bed and snuggle down. It’s quiet except for the soothing calm of the ocean outside. This is truly the most exquisite property. I can’t believe Johnathan bought it.
Chapter Sixteen
“Ms. Bronwyn, Ms. Bronwyn.” I hear someone call my name and I open my eyes.
Hot damn, I forgot where I was for a second. Davis is standing at the end of the bed. I look down and thank god I kept my clothes on last night. That would not have been good, showing Davis my lady parts.
I rub my eyes and stretch. Man, today isn’t going to be a good day; I can already feel it.
“Ms. Bronwyn, you have a doctor’s appointment in forty minutes. We need to leave in fifteen if you plan on making it in time.”
I jerk out of bed and run into the bathroom. I feel very ill this morning. This isn’t normal for me. My
stomach rolls again and I hold my belly. This isn’t good. My stomach tenses like a giant cramp and I clinch my teeth. Fuck that hurts. What the hell is happening? I woke up twice last night with this same pain and it’s just getting worse. Maybe it’s stress or something.
I pee, wash my face and hands and apply the cocoa butter to my growing bump. I don’t even worry to change. I don’t have time and I feel utterly restless.
“Let’s go,” I wave to him, heading for the door and stop short, grabbing my stomach. Fuck, that’s painful. My stomach clinches again and I have the urge to vomit. Davis is instantly by my side slowly he walks me to the car, holding my arm so I don’t fall as I cradle my aching belly.
“I guess it’s a good thing we are taking you to the doctor,” he says, shutting me into the back of the Mercedes.
Fifteen minutes later we are pulling up outside of Dr. Golds office and Davis tells me to sit still as he grabs a wheelchair from inside. I listen because I’m close to heaving bile all over the place. Opening the door, he offers his hand and I get out. He eases me into the chair and then wheels me to the elevators and up to the second floor. We don’t even wait to be seen, we are taken straight back. One of the perks of being a celebrity’s baby’s mama.
I climb out of the wheelchair and onto the table and Davis waits outside. If it was James, I would have him in here with me. Oh, I miss him already. I hate doing this all alone.
A knock sounds at the door and my pretty, frail, blonde doctor enters.
“Hello Emily,” she smiles and offers her hand for a quick shake and I oblige her.
“I’m not feeling so hot, doc. Let’s just get that out now. I flew back yesterday from Colorado. Everything was so peaceful and wonderful there. Not a single problem. But last night and this morning I am having some pain and I feel like hell,” I blurt out before she can even ask how I’m doing.
Stricken Rock Series: Complete Box Set Page 61