“Lucy,” he greeted her, his voice soft. “Issy, did you like the story?”
Leaning against Lucy, Dane’s daughter smiled and nodded her head. “It was about giants. And giants are big,” Issy told him. She stuck a thumb in her mouth and her other hand opened the book to touch the pop-ups.
Dane squatted next to her chair, reaching to smooth Issy’s hair as he did. His hand brushed Lucy’s shoulder and she didn’t pull away.
His touch felt complicated.
And she’d never been one for complications. Never. And yet, here she sat with Dane’s daughter on her lap.
“I didn’t expect to see you here,” Dane said as he stood. His hands were clasped behind his back.
“I gave Maria a ride to town. Were you at the study?”
“No. I had a meeting with a few of the board members concerning some changes we need to make.”
Issy wiggled from her lap and took hold of Dane’s hand. Something happened in that moment as she watched the little girl and her father. She made a decision that complicated her life. Intentionally. Without remorse. “I have a roast in the slow cooker if you and Issy would like to join us.”
“An invitation to dinner? And you cooked?”
“Don’t expect too much. This is a first for me.”
He took his daughter in his arms. “We would love to join you.”
As he left she sat there wondering what had come over her. She didn’t like complications. She never complicated her life. And yet, she’d just invited two of them to her home.
* * *
The house smelled good, the way a house with dinner in the slow cooker should smell. Dane led Issy by the hand, following Maria to the kitchen. He could hear Lucy talking to someone and she didn’t sound happy. Maybe they had unexpected company. Could be her brother Alex.
Maria glanced back at him, an apologetic look on her face.
“I promise you, she doesn’t always talk to our food,” the younger woman explained.
“Are you sure she’s talking to the food? She sounds mad.”
“Alex went to town and no one else is here.”
They entered the kitchen and sure enough, Lucy was standing over the slow cooker, a fork in one hand and a cookbook in the other. She frowned at the meat in the cooker and jabbed at it again.
“This is not the way you’re supposed to look. Falling off the bone, the recipe says. Juicy and tender, it says.”
“Problem?” Dane lifted Issy in his arms and approached Lucy carefully, because an angry woman wielding a fork couldn’t be a good thing.
She glared at him and went back to reading the cookbook. “It said four hours on high. It’s been cooking for four hours. It’s still pink. And the vegetables are brown.”
He took the fork and prodded the meat, leaning in next to her. “Did you thaw it before you put it in here?”
“The recipe doesn’t say thaw before cooking. If it takes something four hours to cook, I’m assuming it’s frozen and that’s why it takes so long.”
“It’s a slow cooker, Luce.” Maria giggled. Then she took a few quick steps out of the danger zone.
“Well, if the meat needs to be thawed, they should say that in the directions.” Lucy’s cheeks turned a little pink. “We’ll have ham sandwiches instead.”
“We can fix this.” Dane looked around the kitchen. “Do you have a baking sheet? And foil.”
“Yes and yes,” Maria answered. She was already digging in the cabinets. The foil landed on the counter, then a baking sheet. “There you go. What are you going to do with it?”
“Throw it on the grill.” Dane had glanced out the window and spotted a gas grill. “As long as you have gas in that tank.”
“You don’t have to do this,” Lucy told him. “I invited you for dinner. I didn’t invite you over to cook.”
“No, but I’m here. We have to eat and I’m decent with a grill. I think the vegetables will have to be sacrificed. We can just heat up a can of green beans. Let’s look and see what you have in the cabinets.”
Issy was clinging to his leg. He reached to pick her up again and turned to Maria, who stood nearby. “Maria, could you hang out with Issy for a few minutes?”
The teenager took his daughter almost too willingly. There was a definite mischievous glint in her brown eyes. When she glanced from him to Lucy, he nearly took Issy back.
But Issy willingly left with Maria. The two went out the back door, the poodle following along behind them. That left him alone with Lucy in the kitchen. She stood there fidgeting. Another surprise, her fidgeting. She watched him, shifting from foot to foot, drawing his attention. Then he noticed her feet were bare and her toenails were painted pink.
He had to fight hard to hide his amusement.
“So what do we do now?” she asked.
“We’ll start by getting this roast out of the cooker. By the way, did you make Maria a doctor’s appointment?”
“I did. It’s Monday.”
He started working and she moved in to his side to watch. She was close, her shoulder brushing his and those painted toenails distracting him. He cleared his throat and focused on the task at hand, the roast. Not Lucy Palermo, standing so close he caught a hint of something floral and feminine. It matched the toenails, not the woman he knew.
It reminded him of the girl, carefree and a little wild when no one was looking. Back then she’d laughed a little, with the windows down on his truck and the radio blasting. He’d pulled to the side of the road and kissed her.
He cleared his throat and she looked up at him. Did she not remember? Or did she choose to block memories that had turned dark the day her dad caught up with them at the swimming hole, a place she wasn’t allowed to go?
“I could go with you all.” In for a penny, in for a pound. It was a mistake. He knew it but he couldn’t back out now.
“I don’t know,” she answered with better sense than he seemed to have at that moment. “Let’s just focus on dinner and the roast.”
“Right, dinner.” He used tongs to pull the roast out of the slow cooker.
Laughter rang out from the backyard, where Issy played with Maria. He glanced out the window and watched as the two walked with the dog following, Issy’s hand in Maria’s. Lucy came over to look out the window.
“Good thing you’re here. We would have been eating ham sandwiches and the dog would have had roast.” As she joked with him, she flashed him one of her rare smiles and it eased the tension inside him.
“I think thirty minutes and it’ll be done.”
He picked up the tray and headed for the back door. Lucy started to follow but the doorbell rang.
“I can get this started by myself,” he told her.
He got the grill going, and then he sat back to watch Issy and Maria. They were sitting just feet away from each another. Maria had found a ball and she rolled it to his daughter, who sat on the ground with her legs out. Issy would laugh as it hit her hands and she would push it back to the teenager.
For several minutes he watched, in awe that the laughing little girl was his. He should have thought about playing ball with her. He guessed there were a lot of things he should have thought of, ways to help her. As much as he wanted to protect her, he also wanted her to be independent.
A hand touched his shoulder. Without thinking, he covered it with his own. Lucy’s skin was soft beneath his. Her hands, though she seemed strong, were fine boned, graceful.
“She’s happy,” Lucy said.
“Yes, she is. I...” What was he going to say? “I hope I’m doing the right thing.”
Selling the ranch. Moving away from Bluebonnet. A few weeks ago it had seemed like the perfect plan. She looked at him.
“You are. But just because it’s right, doesn’t mean it’s
easy.”
She said it in such a way that he knew she’d made choices that weren’t always easy, but she felt they were right. He wondered if she included coming home in the category of “right but not easy.”
“Who was at the front door?” he asked. She pulled her hand away from his.
“Aunt Essie. Alex stopped by to see her and told her I’d put a roast in the slow cooker. For some reason she thought that warranted a visit. She’s getting potato salad out of her truck.”
Issy, tired of playing ball, walked his way. She had hold of Maria’s hand and she took careful steps as Maria coached her over tough spots in the terrain. She grabbed her up when she got to the patio and said something funny, making his daughter giggle. Everyone smiled when Issy laughed.
“I have something to show you,” Lucy said, the words coming sudden and unsure.
“Something to show me?” He stood and lowered the temperature on the grill. “Right now?”
“No, not now. Later.” She hesitated. “It’s not a big deal.”
Essie stepped out the back door, glancing between the two of them. “Why not now? I’ll watch the meat. You all go and see what it is that has Lucy on hot coals.”
Lucy shot her aunt a warning look. “I’m not on hot coals.”
Essie shrugged it off and gave her full attention to their meal. “Suit yourself, Luce.”
“Really, it can wait.”
Curiosity got the best of him. “Maybe I can’t wait.”
He picked up his daughter, shifting her to his left side and reaching for Lucy with his free right hand. They stood for several long seconds like that and finally she nodded.
“Let’s go.”
She led them out a side gate and then to the stable. As they walked, Dane noticed the changes that were taking place on the Palermo ranch. Cleaner fencerows, a barn that looked as if someone had finally taken an interest. There were more cattle grazing out in the field.
When they got to the stable, Dane reached to open the door. He held it as she walked in, flipping on lights as she went. He noticed the room next to the tack room had been boarded up. It was recent, the boards were new.
“You don’t want to use that room?” he asked her.
“No. I don’t.”
“What if you...”
She spun to face him. “I will never need to go in there.”
Her expression froze him. Before he could even process what she’d said, she walked away.
A pretty chestnut stuck her head over the stall door. Lucy stopped to stroke the animal’s face. She leaned close to the horse, her back to him for a long moment, then with a deep breath she moved on.
“Nice horse.” Dane stopped to look the mare over.
“Alex brought her with him.”
She stopped in front of the next stall. This time a head didn’t reach over the stall door, but a tiny nose pushed its way into view.
“Did you buy a large dog?” he teased.
She ignored him. Then she guided Issy’s hand to the pony’s soft ears, telling his daughter the animal’s name was Cobalt. Issy went to Lucy, holding tight with one arm while she petted the pony.
“You bought a pony?”
“Alex brought her. He said she was the mare’s best friend so he couldn’t leave her behind. We don’t have a lot of use for a pony, but he is sweet.”
“Maria’s baby won’t be able to ride for a long time.”
“This pony definitely needs a little girl.” Lucy looked over his daughter’s head, catching his attention with a meaningful look.
He got what she was trying to tell him. His little girl needed a pony. He shook his head, because he wasn’t ready for this yet.
“You have to let go sometime,” Lucy said softly.
“Easier said than done.”
“Yes, I know.” She handed Issy to him but his daughter was still reaching for the pony.
He watched as Lucy put a halter and then a lead rope on the pony. The animal didn’t fuss. He seemed very happy to have the attention and to be led from the stall. His ears flicked as he took in his surroundings but he didn’t shy or move a bit as she dropped the lead rope.
“He won’t move until you pick up the lead.” Lucy leaned against the stall and smiled at the pony and then at Dane. “Pretty amazing, isn’t he?”
He couldn’t take his eyes off the woman standing feet away from him. “Yes, amazing.”
He looked the animal over, then reached for the lead and sat his daughter on the animal’s back, telling her what he planned to do and that she should sit very still.
Issy did exactly as she was told, holding tight to the pony’s rounded belly with her tiny legs. She put her hands on the long, silvery-gray mane and leaned just slightly to tell the animal that he was her favorite horse.
“What do you think?” Lucy asked as she came close, her hand going to Issy’s back to steady her.
“I love ponies.” Issy fairly glowed. Her smile radiated. “Daddy, do you love the pony?”
“I do love the pony,” Dane answered.
From a distance he heard Maria calling to them, telling them that dinner was ready. He reached for his daughter as Lucy took the lead rope from his hand. Issy tried to grab hold of the pony.
“I don’t want to go, Daddy.” She had her hand out, searching for the pony.
“No, we have to go, Isabelle. It’s time to eat now.” Dane knew what letting go felt like.
Years ago he’d let go of Lucy because he’d known it was best for her, and for him. He’d let go of Tamara. He’d let go of dreams they shared. Letting go of his marriage had taken time. Pastor Matthews had told him to think of it as a death. The death of a marriage, of plans they’d shared and dreams they’d dreamed together. That kind of loss took time to process. It took time to grieve.
He was trying to process the decision he’d made, to let go of the ranch, because that’s what it would take to give his daughter a better life.
Lucy put the pony back in his stall and closed the door. Somehow her hand found his and he knew that she understood. She understood letting go. She understood how difficult it was to let another person into your life.
As they neared the house the aroma of meat cooked on the grill wafted through the air. Dane could hear Essie talking to Maria. Alex’s truck was parked in front of the house and his voice joined the conversation. The dog began to bark and Maria laughed. Dane, Issy and Lucy walked around the corner of the house, where everyone had gathered in the backyard.
Next to him, Lucy’s expression reflected a peace she probably hadn’t known growing up. She smiled at Essie, who was busy taking the roast off the grill. Alex was giving her advice. This was family. They’d been broken and beat down, but they were healing. They were able to laugh, to share a meal. He felt a little more whole, just being here with them.
Chapter Nine
Monday morning Dane pulled up to the house and honked. He was driving her and Maria to the ob-gyn appointment in Killeen because he’d told her he had things to get that he couldn’t in Bluebonnet. Maria was out the front door before Lucy could lock the dog in the bathroom. She made sure all of the lights were off, the coffeepot was shut off and all the doors were locked.
She took a deep breath, peeked out the window and gave herself a stern lecture about not getting involved with Dane. Then she grabbed her purse and walked out the front door.
“Issy would like for you to play country music,” Maria said from the backseat of the truck. “She especially likes Johnny Cash. Don’t you, Issy?” Maria leaned close to the little girl and started singing “Folsom Prison Blues.”
Issy giggled. “I like Johnny Cash.”
Lucy didn’t. She’d heard enough Johnny to last a lifetime. Their father had loved Johnny Cash. He’d played i
t in the barn, in the house and in the car. But it was the barn stereo that haunted her memories. Those familiar songs on repeat. And no escaping them.
Maria wouldn’t remember. Dane didn’t know. He tossed Maria his phone. “You’ll have to find it.”
“No Johnny Cash,” Lucy said quietly.
“Why, Luce?” Maria asked, even though Johnny was already playing, the volume turned low.
“Please, Maria. Play George. Any George you want. Anything but Johnny.”
The music stopped. Maria reached her hand out to touch Lucy’s shoulder. “I know it was bad. But we can’t do this, where we hide it and pretend it will go away. It isn’t healthy. As siblings we should at least talk to each other. Whatever secrets he made you keep, you should talk about because he isn’t here to stop you anymore.”
“This isn’t the time,” Lucy warned.
Dane glanced her way but kept driving. He didn’t know about Johnny Cash. He wouldn’t know because even during those weeks when they’d dated, she’d hidden the truth. She’d wanted a brief, golden moment when everything seemed normal. He’d given her the most normal moments of her teen years.
George Jones came over the speakers. Dane’s hand slid across the seat and his fingers touched hers. Lucy felt her cheeks flush.
A short time later they were pulling into the parking lot of the obstetrician’s office located in a medical building on the outskirts of Killeen.
From the back Maria made a sound that was almost a sob. Lucy glanced back. Her sister wasn’t crying, not really, but her eyes were bright with tears. She looked away, but not before one of those tears rolled down her cheek.
“It’s going to be okay,” Lucy told her. “We’re going to get through this.”
Maria nodded, then she cleared her throat. “I keep telling myself that but then reality hits. I’m not even eighteen. I just graduated high school a few months ago. I’m not ready to be a mom. I don’t know how I would be a parent every single day.”
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