Tatyanna
Light & Darkness
Book One
by Lindsay Johnston
Published by JK Publishing, Inc.
© Copyright November 2016 Lindsay Johnston
Rights & Permissions © November 2016 JK Publishing, Inc.
Cover, art and logo © Copyright November 2016 by JK Publishing, Inc.
All rights reserved.
ISBN #978-1-370-20433-5
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This is a work of fiction. Names, places, characters and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, organizations, events or locales are entirely coincidental.
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Dedication
To my husband, TJ, who has been very supportive of me while I wrote this book and for being there when I went into the zone and helped pick up the slack. Also to my friend, my muse, Vanessa, for putting up with me and being able to put time aside while I sent you my random thoughts and helping me to create something out of them.
Table of Contents
Dedication
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Four
Chapter Thirty-Five
Chapter Thirty-Six
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Chapter Forty
Chapter Forty-One
Chapter Forty-Two
Chapter Forty-Three
Epilogue
Sneak Peek into Seraphina
Chapter One
Birthday Party
“Do you ever wonder if you were born in the wrong place? Or better yet, the wrong time?” Tatyanna sighed as she glanced down at the cat in her arms. He looked up at her, listening intently as if he understood every word she just said to him.
“Probably not. You’re just a cat,” she continued, leaning against the windowsill, staring out into the dark night. It wasn’t unusual for her to be seen talking to her cat; he was her best friend after all. Well, her only friend to be exact. She found him as a stray when he was a kitten. She named him Tux, because he was all black, except for a white chest and white feet, with eyes the color of a deep emerald. She remembered taking him to the vet to get him checked out, and the veterinarian commenting on how healthy he was for a stray, not to mention the fact he was unusually large. Tatyanna didn’t know what the vet meant by her comment, but it was love at first sight for her, and she shared an instant bond with the animal.
Tatyanna continued to stare out into the night. She wished it would end so she could begin another, new day. The desire was rather silly, because as soon as the new day began, she would wish for it to end. Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard heels clicking against the hardwood floor in the hallway. She held her breath, hoping her sister would continue walking toward her own bedroom, but let it out when she heard knocking at her door.
“What?” she asked, doing her best to sound annoyed.
Lilah opened the door, ignoring her sister’s tone, “What are you still doing up here? There’s a raging party going on downstairs,” she said, waving her arms about.
Tatyanna took her time turning to face her twin sister. She was beautiful, with long, curly, blond hair, the perfect tan, and the perfect stick figure body. She was often envious of her sister growing up because they were complete opposites in every way.
“Why aren’t you dressed for the party? Can’t you hear the music? It’s in full swing.”
“It’s not my party,” she argued.
“Is it not our twenty-first birthday today?”
“Yes,” Tatyanna mumbled.
“Therefore, it’s your party, too,” Lilah responded cheerfully.
“None of these people came here for me. I bet you half of them don’t even know my name.”
“Oh, stop being so melodramatic. I invited all of our old friends from high school, including several of my sorority sisters, whom you have yet to say more than a passing ‘hi’ to.”
“Our friends? Don’t you mean your friends? I was a loner back then, or don’t you remember?”
“You still are.”
Tatyanna gave her sister a blank look.
Lilah changed tactics. “Everyone has been asking about you, and what you’ve been doing since graduation.”
“What did you tell them?”
“Nothing, because they want to hear it from you.”
“Oh, I’m sure. After all these years, now I’m Miss Popularity. I’m sure they are only here to see with their own eyes that I am still
the same loser I was in high school. This time, because I am twenty-one and still living at home,” she said cynically.
“You mean you are living at home by choice because you’re too stubborn to take Mom and Dad’s money for college and you chose to work your way through school,” her sister clarified.
Tatyanna shrugged, letting the familiar argument bounce off her.
She turned away from the window, having been staring out it for the last hour, and felt a familiar twinge of disappointment as she studied her twin. They never really seemed like they were twins, and she could not be more disconnected from her sister. She had grown up hearing all about how close twins were and the fact they could communicate without talking, but apparently, that applied to every other set of twins except them. The only things they had in common were their parents and the same birthdate.
In high school, Lilah was captain of the cheerleading squad, Prom Queen, and Student Council President. She had a strange obsession with Barbie and was constantly having special outfits made from the Barbie Collection to fit her. Tatyanna guessed she could see where the obsessions started. They were both tall, thin, blond, and gorgeous. Her sister could easily be a model if she wanted to with her looks.
Then, there was herself. Tatyanna was a good four inches shorter than Lilah, standing barely five-foot-seven, with raven black hair, midnight blue eyes, and matching midnight blue bangs. Her family wasn’t the only people she felt disconnected from; she experienced the same feelings with her classmates. They tolerated her, because of Lilah. Then, on her sixteenth birthday, she woke up realizing her bangs were blue. She thought it was one of her sister’s pranks, but Lilah kept denying it until she was blue in the face. She tried cutting and dyeing her hair several times, but the blue always came back. Tatyanna gave up and accepted it as another sign as to how different she was.
She used to wish on every shooting star, curled chip, and pop can tab that she was normal, or that she could be taken far, far away from her current location, but her wishes never came true. She just continued to pull back away from people and refused to join in. Lilah would always force her to accompany her to school parties and other random high school events, and swear up and down these were the best years of her life. However, once they had arrived, Tatyanna would wander off and leave Lilah to her flock of admirers.
By the time the sisters were eighteen, Lilah already had a ten-year plan in place. She wanted to become the most sought after designer in the world, or at least apprentice under Vera Wang. Tatyanna, on the other hand, worked at a local nursing home. She spent her free time trying to keep her parents from killing their landscape, and recently, was hired in at the local hospital as a Licensed Practical Nurse while she went to school for her Registered Nurse degree.
Tatyanna shrugged and spun away from her sister. Lilah let out a loud huff. “Fine, I realize you aren’t in the party mood, but at least come down and meet Jon.”
“Is it the same Jon whom you brought home for Christmas?”
“Ew, gross. I dumped that Jon after the holidays. His gift was so lame,” Lilah said, sounding like a Valley Girl.
Tatyanna rolled her eyes. “Ohhh. Okay. So this is Jon Number 356?”
“What? No. This is only the third Jon I’ve dated.”
“But I am sure in the long lines of boyfriends that you have had he is Number 356.”
“I don’t date that many guys.”
“Uh huh.” Tatyanna didn’t believe her sister’s blatant lie.
“Whatever. You could have at least commented on my outfit. Daddy had it specially made for tonight’s party. I mean we only turn twenty-one once.” Lilah struck a pose, with her left hand on her trim waistline, and her right arm in the air above her head.
Tatyanna glanced at her sister and finally noticed her outfit. She was wearing white skinny jeans that showcased her long, thin legs, with an off-the-shoulder, red blouse, and a thick, white belt right under her breastbone to show off what boobs she had. She topped the outfit with matching red stiletto heels. Tatyanna wondered how long her sister practiced walking in those shoes before wearing them tonight.
“Let me guess. It’s a Barbie specialty?”
“Of course. It’s a variation of Model 001 of the Red Collection.”
“I think you need some professional help, sis.”
“This coming from someone who lives in the attic?” Lilah said, sounding snobbish.
“At least I don’t get my fashion advice from a plastic doll.”
“At least I have fashion sense,” Lilah retorted, having to have the last word.
Tatyanna looked down at herself and thought she looked fine. She had on her favorite baggy blue jeans and a blue shirt that said in orange letters, ‘Follow me, I’m lost.’ The shirt was huge and practically swallowed her up. “Well, if it makes you feel better, I got my shirt at Target.”
Lilah frowned at her. “Target? Really?”
“Yeah, it was on the men’s side. I got it for five dollars.”
“It shows,” she said with disdain, picking off an imaginary piece of lint from her otherwise perfect blouse.
There was a pause as neither sister spoke. “Sooo, how about you come down for, like, five minutes?”
“How about not, and we just say that I did?”
“You could, or you could come downstairs and check out your cake.”
Damn her sister. She knew her weakness. “Cake?”
“With your name on it,” she sang softly.
Tatyanna merely glared at her sister, but Lilah already knew she had won. “If you are lying about the cake, I’m coming back upstairs.” Lilah didn’t answer; she crossed the room with her head up straight, like she was royalty, and waited for her sister at the door. Tatyanna glanced out her window one last time, and then trailed after her sister, holding the door open so Tux would follow.
When she noticed all the people who had congregated into their house, Tatyanna bent down to pick up Tux, afraid he might get stepped on. As they slowly descended the staircase, she was able to hear multiple conversations going on over the music playing from a back room. Great, she thought silently. Pretty boy music. Not her preferred choice, but it was Lilah’s party after all. As she stood in the foyer, she longingly glanced at the stairs, wondering if it was too late for her to turn around. As if she could read her thoughts, Lilah reached out and grabbed her arm with a firm hold, dragging her through the crowd. Tatyanna accidently dropped Tux and watched him make a run for it. Lucky cat.
Tatyanna felt weird walking through her own house with Lilah. Moses parting the Red Sea could not hold a candle to Lilah parting crowds. Conversely, when Tatyanna walked through a crowd, people often would stare at her and start whispering to their friends while laughing and pointing. This was what caused her to feel self-conscious and insecure.
After a brief moment of fear, Tatyanna relaxed. She realized everyone was, as usual, paying attention to Lilah. People were looking up at her sister with adoration, fawning over her as if she was the Queen of Sheba. As they continued to walk through the house, Tatyanna was overwhelmed with the feeling someone was watching her. This confused her, due to the fact no one ever paid her any great deal of attention. She might as well have been the Invisible Woman.
But the feeling of being watched wouldn’t leave her. As she searched the crowds, her eyes locked onto a young man, who appeared to be about her age. She was surprised he wasn’t surrounded by girls because she found him to be extremely good looking. He wore a baseball cap low over his eyes, and he kept tugging on it as if he wasn’t used to wearing one. His dirty blond hair was peeking out beneath the cap, and Tatyanna thought of wings the way his hair flanked around his ears. He had a long, thin nose, with a slight crook in it, and full lips. He scanned the crowd, as if he was looking for someone, but met her eyes and gave her a slight nod of acknowledgment. He turned around and was soon swallowed up by everyone. Tatyanna had a strange sensation to go after him, but, before she could, she was shoved in front
of the cake.
The moment she had been waiting for. It was your average cake, big enough to feed everyone in the house, with beautiful pink and white flowers, Lilah’s favorite colors of course, and then her jaw dropped.
“Crap,” she murmured, wondering if anyone else saw it. Written in big flowy letters were the words, “Happy Birthday, Lilah and Tittyanna!” Tatyanna was appalled and embarrassed, and she wanted to crawl under the table. How could anyone spell her name wrong? Tittyanna? Titty? Anna? Really?
Tatyanna was so freaked out about the spelling of her name; she glanced wildly about to see if anyone was watching her and reached out toward the cake to try to smudge the frosting. Unfortunately, her mom, at that exact moment, reached for the knife and started cutting the cake. She proceeded to distribute the cake to the party-goers, without noticing anything.
Tatyanna grabbed the first piece she could, and immediately left the room, hoping no one would notice the error. Tatyanna stood in the middle of the crowded room. She didn’t want to be around anyone and started to make her way outside. After shoving and pushing her way through the crowd, she finally made it to the deck and was relieved to find it empty.
She pondered over her conversation with her sister earlier. As far back as Tatyanna could remember, she was never able to click with any other person, especially Lilah. She never had friends, and often felt like no one understood her. She wished her own sister could see that, but then again, her own sister didn’t even know who she was.
She absentmindedly bit into her cake and cringed. The texture of the cake resembled eating cardboard because of the lack of any flavor. She leaned against the railing of the deck, the cake forgotten in her hand as she looked up at the night sky. Tatyanna imagined a place where she could be normal when she heard a voice behind her.
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