She let out a whoosh of air as the lake came into view. The water gave her an overall feeling of comfort, and home. This was where she could think clearly, and she realized her thoughts from earlier were out of line. It didn't matter who, or how many, women he had been with, not if he chose her. And it wasn’t like she even had feelings for the man...right? “Argh,” she said. She was becoming a love-struck female, just like Lilah every time she started dating a guy.
“There you are.” She heard Cale's voice coming from behind her. “What are you doing out here?” he said, walking through the trees instead of on the beach. She thought it odd, but everything lately she found odd, and didn't think to question him.
“Just came out here to think,” she said, wishing she was alone. Seeing Cale, she felt her heart skip a beat, and didn't know what to think of the other man. She wondered if it was too late to become a nun. She couldn't handle this confusion when it came to trying to figure out the other sex, and her feelings.
Cale came closer to her and sat behind her on the grass. “So, I saw Marek kissing you last night. I thought you couldn't stand him.”
She blew out air, trying to decide what to say to Cale. “I don't know what to feel about Marek. I barely know the man,” she said, deciding it was best to avoid talking about the kiss. She glanced back to look at Cale, and asked him, “What do you know about him anyway?”
He shrugged, and started to pick at the grass around him. “As you know, he is the Phoenix Lord. He inherited it from his father beforehand. Because of the Phoenix's healing powers, no one is sure how old he is really, or how long he will live for. He could live for hundreds of years. He is considered to be the best warrior alive, and trains anyone who has an interest, or has enough money to pay him.”
“Pay him?” she asked confused.
“Yeah, he provides his services to the highest bidder. His services are for hire. I've heard he kills people for money. People are scared of him. Haven't you wondered how it is possible for us to be here? A place that is thriving in a world of destruction. No one will take Marek on, for fear of what he will do in retaliation.”
“But, we were sent here for his protection. That doesn't sound like someone who is an assassin,” she countered his words.
“Who says we are here free of charge? We are here because we were told we had to be. Maybe Emmett and Dimitri made a deal with him. Does it really matter?” he asked. When Tatyanna didn't say anything, he continued, “You saw who he really is. He took you for a whore, for crying out loud. You were dressed beautifully yesterday. How can you think he is better than what he is?” Tatyanna turned her face to the side, refusing to say anything for a while, and ashamed to admit maybe Cale had a point. What did she really know about Marek? She wondered if he would notice if she left.
“And that kiss, that was the outrageous,” Cale continued behind her.
“What do you mean? What was wrong with the kiss?”
“Besides it obviously didn't mean anything to him. I'm surprised you let him get away with it.”
“Why do you think it didn't mean anything?”
“Easy, after you left, I saw him heading over with a couple of women last night. They were barely dressed and couldn't keep their hands off him.”
Tatyanna felt her stomach drop. She didn't want to believe what Cale was saying, but why would he lie to her? She felt more like a fool than she did before, and she felt used. She brushed away a few tears, and wished Cale's words didn't affect her, because they did.
“Hey,” he said. “Hey, are you crying?” he asked, turning her around and pulling her to him. “I thought you didn't like him.” He put his hand under her chin, lifting her face to his. “He isn't worth your tears. It's better to know who he really is now, instead of finding out later, right?” he asked, gently swiping away her tears. Tatyanna nodded, but she didn't believe what he was saying. Instead, she felt her heart breaking, and the familiar anger grow in the pit of her belly. She wanted to lash out at Marek for making her feel like a fool.
Cale gently pulled her face closer to his own and kissed her. She reached out to pull him closer to her, feeling the familiar heat of his lips and noticed they were warm just like Marek's. She didn't want to compare the two kisses, but she found herself doing it anyway, as Cale deepened his kiss. When she kissed Marek, she felt like an explosion had been detonated in her mouth, and it continued to sizzle long after the kiss had ended. When she kissed Cale, she didn't have those sensations. It was a nice enough kiss, but nothing stood out to her. She was drawn to his heat, but she didn't have feelings for him. Not after she kissed Marek. Marek's one kiss had ruined her for anyone else, and here she was thinking of a man who had used her, instead of thinking of the man she was kissing. She pulled away from Cale, smiling shyly, and mumbled some lame excuse about having to go check something out.
Cale leaned back in satisfaction. That was easier than he thought it would be. She believed his lies about Marek, and how he was a douche. He had nothing to worry about after all. Now, he just had to continue feeding her lies to keep her away from Marek and he would be golden. He could feel a slight power tingling in his fingertips, and couldn't wait for more. He was on his way to achieving everything he wanted, and deserved.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Letting Go
Tatyanna couldn't even remember what excuse she gave Cale, but she felt foolish and embarrassed. She shouldn't have even let him kiss her after realizing she didn't feel anything for him. She went in search of Marek to give him hell for ruining her, and her chance at finding happiness. How was it possible she was attracted to that jerk? Tatyanna could have Cale without even trying, and yet she wanted some asshole instead, who played her like a fool. She knew he was some hot shot warrior, and wasn't quite sure how she was going to achieve this, but she would think of something.
Tatyanna walked away from her sanctuary and toward the sounds of metal hitting metal. It wasn't long until she came to a huge clearing, and saw several men and a few women, dressed in protective gear, fighting against one another. She barely spared them a look, because immediately her eyes fell on her prey. She would know Marek anywhere. He wore tight, deerskin pants and was shirtless, covered in sweat, and she thought back to the night of his birthday and seeing him in his entirety. She scolded herself for where her thoughts were going, and how she had to stay on track. She wasn't there to ogle him, but instead, she was there to get him out of her head.
Marek turned his head toward her, as if he could feel her watching him. His startling blue eyes brightened when he saw her standing there, watching him. He felt his lips twitch upwards into a smile. He woke up that morning sore and smelling like burnt flesh, not remembering much after the phoenix took over. The one thing he was glad to remember was the brief kiss he had shared with Tatyanna, and how it felt like he was kissing his future. He always knew she was out there, but it didn't seem real until he was face-to-face with her again. He didn't know why she was there. He could see a slight bluish glow to her hands; he knew what that glow meant. Marek had seen it in her mother toward the end of her life. Tatyanna had anger inside of her, and she was bottling it up, instead of getting rid of it. There was only one way for her to unleash her anger, and it wasn't going to be pretty.
Marek put his fingers in his mouth and let out a shrill whistle, signaling the end of training. He ignored his people around him, and only focused on the woman in front of him. He didn't know what to say to her. He made a mistake the first time when he talked to her, because she had always been a dream he thought would never come true. He remembered the betrothal ceremony as if it were yesterday. His parents had been at her castle, because his dad was going to escort her father to one of the other kingdoms. Unfortunately, fate had a different plan, and they both lost their fathers on the same day. Tatyanna's mother died shortly after the death of her father, and he wondered how his own mother was able to keep going. He knew their love wasn't real, but they made it work for him. He doubted true love ev
en existed, but staring at Tatyanna in front of him, he was willing to give it a try.
“Hey, Mare, what do you want me to do?” Gavin asked, coming up behind him.
Marek was tired of his cousin. He just wanted the boy to take the initiative just once, instead of always asking for directions. He missed Damien, but knew that friendship was beyond repair. “Go study the maps, and plan your strategy. I'm changing things up tonight,” he said, without turning around.
“Changing things up? How?” Gavin asked, sounding worried. Marek always took the lead and made all the decisions. For him to change the rule at the last second was enough reason to be scared.
“Just go study them. The game is changing,” he said, with finality in his voice.
Gavin knew better than to try to get more out of the man. Once he made up his mind, that was it. He rarely ever changed his mind. “Whatever,” the younger man said, heading away from the training site.
When it was just the two of them left, they stood staring at each other, each unsure of what to say, waiting for the other to make the first move. Marek, never the one to cower, finally said, “You are beautiful.” He meant it, too. She was dressed in a simple but regal, blue dress that matched the color of her hair. Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say, because she flinched at his words.
“Whatever. I don't believe you,” she stated.
Marek was at a loss. How could she not believe she was beautiful? He could hardly think straight around her. “Have you seen yourself lately?”
“I don't believe you think I am beautiful,” she said, walking toward him with her hands clenched at her sides. “I don't like to be used.”
Marek didn't even know how to respond to that. He didn't understand what she was talking about. “I'm not trying to; I'm trying to give you a simple compliment.”
“I heard all about how you kissed me just for laughs. You left with two other women who couldn't keep their hands off you,” she said, her eyes flashing with anger at the thought and humiliation that she felt.
Marek shook his head walking toward her, “I don't know what you heard, but I didn't leave with anyone last night. I woke up this morning in the fire pit, with Kwyk keeping watch over me all night.”
Tatyanna narrowed her eyes at him. He sounded sincere, but then why would Cale lie to her? “I don't believe you,” she said, not quite ready to give in. “What the hell was that kiss? You have plenty of women around, and you've been with plenty of women. Why me?”
“Do you not see how beautiful you are? Do you lack self-worth in yourself? I won't lie, there have been other women, and I can't take that back. I wish I could, but I can't. I never truly believed you would come back. So, yes, I did have pleasures with other women, until your birthday, when I felt my phoenix burn inside of me, and I knew you were coming back. I remembered you as a child, and you had such spirit, I wanted to see if you were still like that. The day I saw you, for the first time since we were children, I knew I wanted to give love a try, and be worthy of you.” He stopped talking to pull her the rest of the way toward him; she went easily into his arms. He cupped her face into his large hands. “I haven't always been the most honest. I've lived by few rules, but I want to do you right. I want to be worthy of you, because of what we feel for each other, not because we were chosen to be together,” he said, lowering his mouth to hers. She barely thought of anything, waiting in anticipation for his kiss, knowing what was to come and relishing in it.
The second kiss was just as great as the first kiss, with the same similar explosions in her mouth. Heat radiated off them, until she was sure she was going to burst into flames. That thought made her think of last night, and Cale's words. She brought her hands up to his chest and shoved him away, startling and surprising him.
“I don't want your kisses. I don't want your soft words of love. I don't want anything from you!” she shouted at him, feeling the fire within her building until her hands were shaking uncontrollably, and she could both see and feel dark sparks jumping off of her fingertips like little bolts of electricity.
“Want is it that you do want?” he asked calmly.
She looked at him, and her chest heaved. “I don't know.”
“Why are you so angry?” he asked quietly, taking a side step and then another one, slowly circling her, as if she were a wild animal.
She didn't answer him, but just watched him warily, wondering what he was up to.
“This isn't you, Tatyanna. This person you are becoming isn't you.”
That undid her, and she lashed out, pulling at the anger inside of her and pushing it out in the form of water. A giant wave came out of her and hit Marek straight on. It pushed him several feet away from her, causing him to tumble a few times before he finally stopped. He stood slowly, never taking his eyes off her, and swiped his hands through his shoulderlength hair several times, pulling it out of his eyes.
“How did that feel?” he asked, walking toward her again. “Feel like hitting me again?” he goaded her, but she didn't answer, waiting to see how close he would get to her again. “Do it,” he taunted. “You know you want to. Do it.”
Tatyanna heard his heckling, and took it to heart. For some mighty warrior, he certainly didn't know anything. She called to the fire inside her, and felt the power rise up and out of her again, before unleashing a water ball at the warrior. It hit him square in the chest, causing him to drop to the ground as he coughed water out of his lungs several times.
After a moment, he stood up, again. Instead of walking toward her, he called out, “Kwyk, give me the staff!” He turned to the right and reached out as a large blue staff came flying out of nowhere at him. He held it easily in both hands, spinning it with ease, and then looked up at Tatyanna and walked toward her again.
Tatyanna saw that the staff he now used deftly in his hands was the same one Grandfather had given her. She didn’t know what had happened to it, or how Marek came to be in possession, but it burned further inside of her to see him use something which was clearly hers. She didn't wait for his taunting to begin, instead she kept shooting water balls at him, first with the left hand and then with the right hand. Instead of getting hit, he used the staff to deflect each. Tatyanna was confused. This wasn't supposed to be happening. She didn't want him to be able to defend himself. She pulled from the anger inside her, found the pool of heat just sitting there inside of her, waiting to be unleashed. Tatyanna focused on it and was able to pull it out, like she had the water, but this time it wasn't water that she brought forth.
Marek was once again able to deflect it, but was surprised to see that it was fire. “Again,” he said, and Tatyanna didn't disappoint. She shot him with one fireball after the next, never stopping. The air around her had increased, causing her hair to whip around her head uncontrollably, like the fireballs she was shooting out of her hands. Marek stopped just to watch her, and could see the queen bursting at the seams to come out of her. He was hit hard in the chest and fell to the ground coughing before being able to stand back up and fight off her attacks. He saw she was slowing down as the anger was leaving her. Toward the end, Tatyanna was shooting water, and then, nothing.
Marek came right up to her and brought her up to his chest. Tatyanna tried fighting. She didn't want comfort. She wanted to scream, and then she did. She screamed at the top of her lungs for him to let her go. She screamed just to scream. She heard running feet, and saw Dimitri and Emmett coming to her aid. Marek yelled at them to stop, and they did. This angered her. She was their queen, not his. They had to listen to her. As she thought about that, Tatyanna realized everyone she knew from this world had lied to her and were withholding information.
Screaming, she let it all out of her. “I hate you!” Tatyanna yelled at Marek, beating at his chest with her fists. “I hate feeling like an invalid!” she screamed, when she saw Medo and Lilly. “I hate the secrets, I hate not knowing, and I hate the damn riddles!” she yelled at Emmett, Dimitri, and Terran. “I hate I was left alone fo
r most of my life. I had to endure the teasing and the pain of being lonely, and not having anyone. I hate that my mother died, instead of finding the strength to stay around for me. I hate she didn't love me enough to fight to live. I am so confused all the time.” She beat on his chest one last time before dropping to her knees; no longer screaming, for the fight was easing out of her. “I feel so helpless. I hate that I don't have anyone to talk to. There are so many thoughts and feelings, and I don't have anyone to share it with. I feel just as alone now as I did growing up. I hate the riddles and the half truths. I hate feeling something toward a person, and I don't know why. I just want my life to be simple again. I just want answers.”
Tatyanna stopped to take a breath, feeling tears form in her eyes. She looked around her and saw her friends. Althea wanted to go to her, but Dimitri was holding her back. She saw a handful of Marek's men and a very pregnant woman giving her a small smile. Everyone she cared about was there, except for one, and that spoke volumes. “I wish people would tell me what they are thinking, instead of letting me being betrayed.” She continued to cry, and this time, she unintentionally used her power. The sky opened up, and it unleashed a rain storm unlike anything that had ever been seen before. Tatyanna felt the raindrops on her face, mixing in with her own tears. She felt drained and lifeless. The last thought she had before she mentally shut down was, the storm matched her mood.
The trees around her started to sway back and forth, causing a strong wind all around them. “What the hell, Terran?” Marek shouted at the young prince.
“I'm not controlling them,” Terran shouted back, walking toward the trees, standing still with his eyes closed and his head slightly tilted. “They feel Tatyanna's pain. She is projecting her feelings so strongly it is affecting everything around her.” He pointed to the rain. “She's unaware she is causing the storm. What we are seeing are her emotions taking control. If she continues, she will flood us out of here.”
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