I needed to talk about what I had found out about my family and listen to what he had to say. My worries was eating me inside entirely. I needed to understand why he had lied to me.
“Do you believe in me?” Eric asked, sitting beside me and holding my hand.
“Yes, I do,” I answered, once again staring into his watering eyes.
“Then, why it doesn’t seem so?”
“Because there’s one more thing I’ve found out and I really need to know the truth,” I confessed, feeling my voice wavering.
“And what is it? I promise to be honest with you, Ianto, as I’ve always been.”
I took a deep breath before having the guts to ask.
“Have you really helped my family?”
“What do you mean? Of course I did!” He answered promptly, surprised by my question.
I stayed silent after that, not sure if I could trust his answer.
“Why are you asking me this?” He asked and I opened my mouth thrice, unable to talk. “Please, Ianto! Tell me why you think I didn’t help you family.”
“I hid something from you as well.”
“What?”
“I've been talking to Lucy whenever she comes here to clean.”
“How can it be?” he asked nervously, standing up.
“She knows where you hide the master key and, finding a door that she couldn't manage to open, she used it to enter my bedroom and found me.”
“She knows about us? She knows that I’ve bought you?” I could feel the worry in his voice.
“Yes…”
“Are you out of your mind, Ianto? If she tells someone, we are both screwed!”
“I know, I'm really sorry! I realized I should never got her into this soon after, but, then, it was already done.”
Eric placed his hands in front of his mouth and blew, as if that would help him keep his calm. He started shaking his head in denial.
“She was the one who said these things about your family?” he asked, annoyed.
“Yes, after I asked her to check on my family.”
“You asked her to do this? Do you want them to find out you are still alive? Do you want them to tell people about us? For us to be executed?”
“Of course not. I just wanted to know if they were fine. Damn it, it’s my family! I couldn’t stop thinking about them. Anyway, she didn’t tell them that I was here, of course.”
“However, on the other hand, she told you that I haven’t supported them, right?”
“Yes. That is why I’m asking, which you haven’t answered me yet. Have you helped them or not? This issue has been consuming all my thoughts these last days. I thought you had, but she said they are quite bad. My father is working in two jobs to buy my mother’s medicine and my brother had to drop out of school,” I said and Eric covered his face, taking a deep breath. “Please, tell me the truth. At least this time.”
“At least this time?” Eric laughed in spite of his tears. “Of course I've helped them, Ianto.”
“Then, Lucy has lied to me?” I asked, unable to believe it.
“Of course. They might have refused my help; after all, they couldn’t understand why I was willing to give them money. They are very mistrustful. However, I asked to add 200,000 to your father’s wage, with no reversals. 200,000 dizus, Ianto! They now have money enough to live comfortably for 20 years. What Lucy said makes absolutely no sense.”
I looked at him, not knowing what to say. I couldn’t understand why Lucy would lie to me about something like that.
“You still don’t believe in me?” he asked, looking into my eyes, his tears still falling, just as mine. My question seemed to have hurt him a lot.
“I don’t know in whom I must believe. I’m confused,” I answered, looking at the floor.
“Fine.” He fell silent, staring at nothing for a few seconds, as if considering something. “Wait right here,” Eric asked me and ran upstairs.
I curled myself in a ball in the couch while waiting for him. My head was a mess and nothing made any sense. How I wanted everything to be just a bad dream, then, I would suddenly wake up beside Eric, back in the time when it seemed we would live happily ever after.
A few minutes after he had gone upstairs, Eric came back running and pulled me by the arm out of the apartment.
“Come with me,” was all he said.
He took me with him to the elevator, where he pressed the button of the garage floor.
“Where are we going?” I asked, confused.
“I’m going to show you the truth, once what I say has no worth for you anymore.” Those words seemed to hurt him as much as they did to me.
When we got to the garage floor, he kept on pulling me to his car. The same man we saw in the day he bought me was leaving his car. He watched the situation, unable to grasp what was going on, but Eric didn’t seem to be bothered by that. He just asked me to sit on the passenger’s seat and I did as told.
“They can’t see me,” I reminded him. I couldn’t understand how I was going to find out the true if I couldn’t talk to my parents.
“I know. Just trust me this time,” he said, starting the car and leaving the building after opening the garage door.
All through the way there, we remained in silence.
It was weird going back to the neighborhood in where I’ve grown up. We took about an hour to get there, both already able to stop crying and looking more composed, even though I was still very anxious.
When we passed by the street where I was arrested, I felt a shiver due to the memories of the scary situation that I have been through. Eric was still shaking; I could notice by the way that he was holding the handle while driving, without even glancing at me.
The closer we got, the more I felt my heart wanting to jump out of my mouth. I didn’t know how we would manage that, but I was anxious to know the truth and now I was already worried of having been unfair to Eric. After all, not even once I suspected Lucy to be lying, for I couldn’t see any reason for her to do so. However, it wouldn’t be the first time I was naïve enough not to see the truth in front of my eyes.
When we arrived and Eric parked in front of my old house, right across the street, I felt a strong wave of homesickness. I missed my parents, my little brother, my house, the neighborhood, everything. My wish was to jump off the car and run inside the house to hug them.
All the houses looked the same, but mine was there; number 209, at 79th Street, South Zone.
Eric stayed quiet for a moment, staring at the wheel.
“You will stay here. Keep yourself down and try not to be seen,” he said.
“Right, but how will I…”
“With this,” he cut me, handing me a cellphone. “I’m going to call you,” he said, taking out of the pocket his own device. A few seconds later, a call appeared on the screen of the cellphone he had handed me and I took it. “I’ll let the device inside my pocket, so that you’ll be able to hear everything we say. Just mute your mike before I go.” I did as he said. “Don’t you want to know the truth? I’ll make you hear it from the people you really trust: your parents,” he explained.
I nodded and he got off the car, walking towards my old house. I knew the car window s were dark, but, as he told me to do, I lowered myself enough to be able to see him without being noticed from the outside.
Eric knocked at the door of the house and, a few seconds later, my parents opened it. My heart raced when I saw them, specially my mom, who seemed able to walk around without difficulties. Her hair was blonde and curly and she was wearing a baby blue dress that I couldn’t remember seeing before. My father had barely changed, just gained a bit of weight. Unlike my mom, he was short and his hair covered only the sides of his head. We used to joke that he had gone bald early for having too much to worry about. My tears returned when I saw them there, so close to me. I didn’t even know how many tears I still had, so much I had cried.
I noticed that they were surprised by Eric’s visit.
They shared a look and didn’t say anything for a few seconds. However, surprising both Eric and I, my father hugged him tight.
“Thank you,” my father said and my mom started crying.
“You don’t have to thank me,” Eric said and my father moved away.
“Of course we have to thank you. We doubted your intentions at first, believing that you were trying to deceive us and we refused your help. Even then, you went ahead and just deposited all that money in my account. I don’t even know how to thank you. You saved our family in a very hard time, when I had lost all hope,” he said. Eric tried to stop him, but my father made a sign for him to let him keep on talking. “My wife was very sick and I was unable to buy her medicine. To make things worse, there was a night when, after his shift, our boy didn’t come back home. You have no idea how painful it was to hear from our neighbors that he was arrested for trying to steal food. Food! And all because he was trying to help us. I can’t understand how Alendor’s govern can believe it's fair to execute a teenager just because he wanted to feed his own family.” My father vented to Eric, crying as much as I was, sobbing non-stop into the car. I was glad the phone was mute.
“I’ve met you son. He was a wonderful kid. That is why I wanted to help you, because I also don’t think it’s fair what they’ve done to him.”
“It’s a lot of money, though, Mr. Pitz,” my mom said.
“You can call me Eric. I would like you to consider me a friend and you don’t have to worry. I won’t need that money and I know you will use it to make a better future for you and your son,” Eric told them.
“Undoubtedly. You were an angel in our lives. We don’t even know what to say, for certainly “thank you” is not enough to show all the gratitude we feel for what you’ve done for us,” my mom said with her hand over her chest and my father agreed with a nod. Eric seemed touched by it, for even with his back on me I could see him wiping his eyes.
Suddenly my brother came running to my parents and I cried even more. How much I missed that hyperactive blondie, who seemed to have grown a few inches. Unlike me, he has taken after my mom’s height. When he grew up, he would surely surpass me. Lucky kid!
“Who is this?” he asked my parents.
“This is Eric Pitz, Pedro. The man who has helped us,” my father told him.
My brother stared at him for a while and then hugged him as well. He was so small compared to Eric that his head could barely reach his waist.
“Thanks for helping my mom. I didn’t want to lose her too,” he told Eric and I felt an intense pain after hearing that. I couldn’t even imagine how much I had made them suffer.
At that point, I just felt the urge to hit my head in the wheel for being such an idiot. Eric had helped my family more than I could have ever imagined and I had chosen to believe in someone else. Now, I had hurt him too, even when he didn’t deserve it. Maybe I was the one who didn't deserve someone like him after all.
“Do you want to come in?”
“I really appreciate the invitation, but I have to go. I just wanted to know if you were doing well and I’m glad to know you are.”
“Thanks to you,” my mom pointed out.
“I want you to know that I’m thankful for being able to help you. See you next time. Good night,” Eric said before leaving.
“Good night,” they said to Eric, almost in unison.
While Eric was coming back to the car, I got down even more, so that they wouldn’t notice that I had been there all that time. Eric got in the car fast and without opening the door too much; that way, there was no chance of us being found out.
As soon as he started the engine and we turned on the corner, I finally sat up; still shaken by everything I’ve seen and heard. I didn’t know how I would be able to face Eric again after everything I have said and done. I even got to the point of having sex with his best friend out of rage and jealousy. I was the one at fault and I haven’t even noticed that.
“I’m sorry, Eric, I was wrong. Please, forgive me!” I begged him.
Eric didn’t take his eyes off the road and stayed quiet. I didn’t say anything else, respecting the fact that he probably needed some time before talking to me.
The ride back seemed like an everlasting agony. My anxiety and fear of what Eric would tell me when we arrived was huge.
When we finally got back to the apartment, Eric went straight to his bedroom without even uttering a single word to me. I followed him and as soon as I got there, I caught him lying on his back on the bed, covering his eyes with his hands. It was obvious that he had been crying.
“Please, forgive me. I was a jerk for choosing to believe Lucy instead of you,” I said and he took his hand away from his face.
“I can’t understand you, Ianto. You said you loved me and I opened myself to you. I’ve exposed my fears and feelings to you… what for? At the first opportunity, you chose to believe in someone you barely know. Did you really believe I would be cruel enough to allow your family to remain in such a precarious situation? What else have you thought about me all this time?” He let out, looking at me once again. His eyes showed all the pain he had been feeling. I had been so focused on taking revenge on him, on making him suffer as much as he had made me suffer that I didn’t even realize that I was the one suffering for being an idiot who had been deceived and taken revenge on someone who never deserved it in the first place.
“I know I’m wrong, but I swear that I regret it completely. I was a fool, forgive me!” I begged him, kneeling beside the bed, next to him.
“The worst of all is that I can’t even blame you, Ianto. After all, you’re just a teenager. Even after everything you’ve been through, you are still naïve and is easy to manipulate. I am the one at fault for giving my heart to you.”
“Don’t say that. I love you! A lot! I promise to make you as happy as you deserve from now on.”
“You have already promised me that before and now I am the one who can’t believe your words. Please, leave me alone, Ianto.”
“Eric…”
“Leave me alone. You are only making things worse.”
“Fine...” I said, feeling an almost unbearable pain in my chest. “Eric,” I said before leaving the bedroom and he looked at me one more time. “What are you going to do about Lucy? Will you fire her? I wanted so much to talk to her, to understand why she had lied to me. I thought she was my friend.” He let out a scary and uncontrolled laughter. “What is it?” I asked, unable to understand his reaction and he sat up, looking straight at me with complete disbelief.
“Ianto, you are even more naïve than I thought. Wake up for life, kid. There’s no way for you to talk to her or even see her again. I don’t give a fuck for her motives. I take it she was trying to get more money from me. We will have to shut her up before she realizes you are already aware of her lie.”
“Shut her up?” I asked, at a loss.
“Ianto, for all the gods' sake! I’ll have her killed!” Eric answered me, impatiently.
“What do you mean?” I asked, scared.
“She knows about us. If she tell someone about us, we will be in deep shit. So, I’d rather protect our own lives instead of that lying bitch’s one!”
“But that’s wrong!”
“What is wrong is you telling the truth to someone you barely know and allow yourself to be manipulated by her. Now, please, go back to your room and try not to feel sorry for that slut. I don’t know how much of my love for you can survive to all this drama. It seems like I’m the only one willing to make our relationship work.”
Chapter 18
I just couldn’t sleep after everything that had happened. I felt stupid and, above all, regretful for choosing to believe in Lucy instead of in Eric.
My mind tried and tried, but was unable to find any logical reason for her making up all those lies. If she were just after Eric�
��s money, it would be easier just to threaten him when I told her the truth. She did quite the opposite, though. She wanted to ruin our relationship. But, why?
I was dying to understand Lucy’s reason for betraying me like that. I really believed she had become a great friend, someone I could trust and to whom I could tell what was going on. However, apparently, she would have to pay for her mistake. And in a much worse way than I was paying for mine.
Hours passed since my conversation with Eric, but I still felt the need to apologize. I would do everything I could for him to forgive me. I really wanted things to go back the way they were before, to make him truly happy. Nonetheless, just as he said, I was naïve and easy to manipulate. Therefore, my first step should be to grow up in order not to hurt him again.
How ironical was it to be manipulated by someone who had made you believe that someone else was manipulating you?
When gave up on waiting for the dawn, I got off the bed and went to Eric’s bedroom. I was desperate to see him and, if he was awake, to beg for his forgiveness. I couldn’t even think about what would happen if he gave up on me after everything I had done. I needed to right all my wrongs. Moreover, of course, I also had to hide the biggest of them: having had sex with his best friend. When had I become so dumb in order to believe that it would be a good way to make me feel better?
When I entered the bedroom, what I saw made me start crying once again. Eric was sleeping with the same clothes from before, hugging one of his pillows. His face was swollen, showing that he only had managed to fall asleep after crying a lot. I couldn’t believe I had hurt someone who only wanted to be loved.
Hurting the people you love is like a double-edged sword, it hurts you as much as you hurt them.
I had a huge desire to lay down beside him and hug him until everything was better, but I decided to respect his wish to be left alone. Only affection and words wouldn’t heal that easily the wounds I had caused him. Thus, I went back to my room, avoiding waking him up.
As soon as I got there, I threw myself on the mattress and got back to crying desperately for several minutes, until tiredness took the best of me and I managed to fall asleep.
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