It was doubtful, but she would do her duty and not disappoint her uncle. Which gave her all the more impetus to go on an adventure before she committed herself to a loveless marriage. And of course, once in that marriage she would be confined to her husband’s dictates, which was not a particularly pleasant thought. And then there was intimacy.
How was one intimate with a stranger? A man who was chosen as a husband but knew little of his wife and she of him?
Sex was rarely discussed amongst ladies, though Hope learned early on that the household servants chattered endlessly about it. She had hid many times and listened with delight and interest to the servants’ tales of love and sex. She often held her hand to her mouth to prevent herself from giggling at some of the odd stories. But as she grew older and wiser she began to understand all they discussed.
When she was around twelve she finally decided she wanted to view the sex act for herself so she could better understand all she heard. Her plan was to hide in the barn at the time her uncle mated the horses. Her plan worked better than she had hoped. One of the household servants and the stable boy had decided to use the barn for a quick coupling and she had watched from beneath the pile of hay she had buried herself under as they kissed, caressed and coupled with sheer pleasure.
She realized much about intimacy, sex and love after that and if her strange studies taught her anything they taught her that love, true love, made a difference in a relationship.
And that casual love was easy to find, but a lasting love was rare.
Hope’s glance settled on Colin’s back and her ear picked up the charm in his voice as he answered the women who called out pleasant greetings to him, some daringly approaching him and whispering near his ear.
He would smile, touch and charm all with casual ease.
Did he care only for a moment of casual love? Did he not wish for more?
Or did love not interest him at all?
Hope shook her head and Lady moved up alongside her, her nose poking at Hope’s hand. She patted the dog’s head as they both continued to follow behind Colin.
Why should she care what Colin thought of love? And why of late was she giving the passionate emotion so much thought? And why when she thought of love did she think of Colin?
She collided with his back, having not paid attention to her steps to notice that he had stopped. She winced and grabbed her side, and Colin, in turn, grabbed her arm.
“Come with me and let me have a look at those ribs.”
Before she could protest, he all but dragged her to where the horses grazed contentedly around a large old tree. And with quick hands he reached for her tunic to pull it off.
Chapter Four
Hope shoved his hands away. “I will see to myself.”
Colin noted the defensive tone, a tone the lad was in the habit of using all too often. “I will have a look.”
His insistent tone cautioned Hope, and she took a step back. There was no way she could match his strength. His lean build might cause some to think him weak but she had witnessed his exceptional strength with the way he had easily plucked the young lad off her as if he were no more than a pesky fly.
“A bruise, nothing more, I assure you,” Hope said with a smile that was meant to dissuade and dismiss.
Colin thought otherwise and took a step toward her. “I want to make certain you did not sustain a more serious injury.”
Hope retreated a step or two, and answered, “Not serious. A bruise is all.”
The lad’s reluctance to let Colin see to his wound concerned him. Had someone hurt him? Or did he not trust? He wanted Harold to trust him. He wanted the lad to know that he could rely on him for most anything. But then trust took time, and there was pride. No man or lad cared for wounded pride.
Colin stepped back. “We will be leaving shortly. See to yourself and then see to helping the men pack the horses with the provisions we have purchased.”
“Yes, sir,” she answered quickly and with obvious relief.
“Colin,” he corrected before walking off with a shake of his head.
Hope hurried to clean herself up though her steps were not as agile and light-footed as she had hoped. She was beginning to ache all over. She washed the dried blood from her split lip and could feel the increased swelling. Her jaw was tender to the touch and she could barely run her hand over her ribs on the right side. The tender area was visibly bruised and would probably worsen in color and soreness as the day advanced, as would the whole of her body.
Her movements took on a decisive strain and slowness. Her attempts to pack the horses quickly took a toll on her. Even lifting the slightest weight disturbed her injured ribs and made her grimace in pain. But she refused to give in or give up. Colin had told her that she must shoulder her share of the work and she intended to do just that—no matter the discomfort.
Stuart was the first of the men to come to her aid. He began lifting the heavier parcels and securing them to the horses while asking “Harold” about the fight.
At first Hope dismissed the altercation as unimportant but she could tell by the time the second man joined them that the men were actually curious and eager to hear a good tale. Hope loved a good tale herself so she found herself embellishing on the incident.
By the time Colin joined them Hope was sitting on a small barrel listening to the men share their first fighting experiences. She jumped up at his approach—a definite mistake. Her ribs protested the unexpected jolt and she would have sunk to her knees from the pain if it were not for Stuart, whose thickly muscled arm lent quick support.
“May be the first, but it will not be the last pain you feel, lad.”
Stuart’s remark was meant to encourage and Hope had to be cautious in her reaction and remember that her response should be that of a lad of ten and two. And then, of course, there was her own pride. She raised her chin. “It hurts but little.”
Stuart smiled and eased his arm away. “And will hurt less tomorrow.”
“No lifting until I order so.”
The stern command was meant to draw attention, and it did. Stuart and Hope’s eyes were immediately drawn to Colin.
“You will see to light chores only.” Another order issued just as sternly.
Hope was amazed at how one minute his tongue charmed and the next it commanded. He fascinated her with his rogue charm and warrior strength, which contradicted and yet somehow confirmed his true character. She wished to explore his many complex sides.
Hope acquiesced with a curt nod.
Colin turned to Stuart. “I wish to be on our way shortly and ride until near dusk. We will make stops at a few more villages and cottages along the way and ask if a young woman has been seen in the vicinity.”
“Not wishing any harm to the young lady,” Stuart said in an apologetic manner, “but it is not likely that she could survive on her own, her being a lady and accustomed to being tended to.”
“I would agree, and if that be the truth then I would like evidence to take to Lord Eric. Until that can be a proven fact I must assume the lady is alive and therefore we must continue to search.”
Stuart seemed reluctant to speak. “You do realize she may never be found.”
“Aye, I have given that thought.” Colin smiled. “Though Eric informed me that the lady’s uncle mentioned that she was a willful and fearless lass.”
It seemed obvious they searched for her, Hope thought. Her uncle had often commented on her obstinate nature, though he had never made mention of her being fearless. She took his words as a compliment of her strong character.
“Spoiled and ignorant is more like it,” Stuart said, a curt nod affirming his opinion.
Hope could not hold her tongue, and besides, she wanted to learn all they knew about her. “Who might that be?”
“Lady Hope,” Stuart answered.
Lady whined at the sound of the familiar name and Hope nudged her gently with her foot. “Someone important?”
“Someone wh
o should know her place and do her duty without causing others trouble,” Stuart said, annoyed.
Hope shrugged, as if it made no difference to her.
“Perhaps she is not content with the decisions being made for her.”
Colin’s words surprised her. Could he possibly understand how she felt? She did not think anyone did, least of all a man. And yet he spoke her thought.
Stuart disagreed with a snort and a grunt. “She is a descendent of the high king of Ireland and she has her duty to do, content or not.”
“Perhaps her willful nature thought otherwise,” Colin said with a hint of admiration for her rash actions.
“Her willful nature might just be the death of her,” Stuart said, slowly shaking his head.
“Or help her survive,” Colin said.
Colin was her champion yet did not know it. He defended her actions and perhaps in his own way understood them. He was a kindred spirit of sorts, an idea that she liked. Somehow it made her feel less lonely on her quest.
“Let us hasten our departure,” Colin urged. “I am anxious to be off.”
Stuart nodded and returned to his task.
Hope turned prepared to do the same.
“Harold.” Colin’s tone was authoritative. “Rest, the walk will be difficult enough for you.”
She was ready to protest when he crossed his arms over his chest, shook his head and smiled.
How could he warn with charm? She did not understand though she saw the wisdom of his warning and paid heed to it. She sat back down on the barrel.
They were off before long and Colin’s words had proven true. After a few miles her steps slowed and her ribs ached unbearably. She wanted to drop to the ground and remain there for however long it took for the pain to ease. And while she made no sound or mention of it, Lady whined as if she bore her master’s entire suffering.
Stuart was the first to offer his horse to her, and she attempted to decline but he insisted and with large yet gentle hands he lifted her onto his horse. He walked alongside her in silence, understanding her need for quiet and rest.
After several miles Hope, with her ache having subsided to a bearable pain, suggested that she once again walk. Stuart insisted that he enjoyed his walk but she did not want to appear a burden nor give them pause to think about her physical weakness, leaving room for doubt about her character.
With reluctance Stuart helped her off his horse.
It took fewer miles than before for the ache to return full force and she soon found herself offered another horse to ride. John was adamant about walking, making mention of a specific part of his body that would never be spoken of in front of a lady and bluntly describing the discomfort.
And so it went as they continued on until the final one to offer his horse was Colin.
“My turn,” he said with a warm smile and slipped his hands around her slim waist to lift her up onto his horse.
His smile faltered for a moment and Hope all but held her breath until she was safely seated on the horse. What had he felt or assumed? Was her waist too narrow for that of a lad? Her breasts were so small it was not necessary to bind them and the two layers of clothing she wore sufficiently protected her from being discovered. Why had his smile faltered?
He walked beside her, his smile having returned. “Tell me about yourself, Harold.”
Tales were her forte; she spun many for her own entertainment and that of her aunt and uncle. She had fashioned a believable tale and was now given the chance to test its strength, though she thought it best to begin reluctantly.
“Not much to tell.”
“Tell me what you will.”
Hope liked the fact that Colin did not always insist but instead showed sincere interest, causing one to succumb to his charm. And she did just that.
“My family was a loving lot and while we barely had enough to eat we had more love than most.”
She had decided her tale could not do without strong love. When there were strong family ties there was strength; she had learned that firsthand. It was a lesson that kept her going through the most difficult of times.
“We worked hard as most do and then my father took ill.” She turned silent for a moment, thinking of her own father’s quick demise. Her voice faltered and she cleared it. “My mother took ill shortly after him and it was all I could do to look after them both.”
“Was there no sister or brother to lend a hand?” Colin asked.
For a moment Hope’s breath caught. The sunlight struck his face in such a manner that it highlighted his features and his face simply stunned her. His good looks could not be denied. But then, he also possessed a good heart.
“There was only me,” she said, her voice trembling.
“That must have been difficult for you.” His words held a genuine concern and his obvious caring nature touched her heart.
“I did what I had to do.” A true enough statement, since it explained her decision for her journey.
“I admire your courage.”
She shrugged, feeling uneasy in accepting his compliment. “I survived.”
“It takes courage to survive.” Seeming to understand that Harold did not take well to praise, Colin persuaded him to continue. “Tell me more.”
“Not much to tell. My mother went faster than my father.” As was true in her life. “My father fought for his life, telling me that he needed to look after me.” She paused, tears clouding her eyes. Her father had held her hand and even in his weakened state she could feel his strength. He did not wish to leave her alone and yet in the end it was he who told her to remain strong for in strength she would find the ability to survive. “When I finally made him understand I would be all right, he quietly passed on.”
Colin waited in silence, as if paying homage to her deceased parents.
“After their passing I realized I could not tend the land on my own and I always craved adventure. So I took a few belongings and began my journey.”
“What happened to your belongings?”
“Stolen.” She had learned that a brief answer was the best when having fashioned an intricate tale.
“And where did you wish your journey to take you?”
She gave a truthful answer. “I did not truly know. I only knew that the journey was necessary.”
“Life has provided you with wisdom beyond your young years.”
“Nay,” she said firmly and with a defiant shake of her head. “There is much for me to learn.”
Colin grinned. He liked the young lad’s stubbornness. “And learn you will.”
Hope suddenly felt guilty about riding Colin’s horse. He had warned her about doing her fair share and here on the first day when she could prove her worth, she proved herself defenseless. Whatever must he think of her? And did he doubt she was capable of learning? She needed to amend his opinion of her. She needed him to believe her a young lad willing and able to do what must he done.
And she would begin by walking instead of riding as she had been doing since leaving the village hours ago. “I should walk.”
That brought a loud whine from Lady and a laugh from Colin.
“Your dog has more sense than you.”
Hope attempted to object.
Colin gave him no time. “You will ride until I instruct otherwise.”
She did learn quickly, and she had learned that Colin led his men wisely and when he issued an order it was to be obeyed, not questioned or argued. She remained on the horse, her aching limbs grateful.
After a few disappointing stops at villages that had heard or seen nothing of the young woman described to them, and the sun near setting, Colin ordered them to stop for the night.
The men saw to setting up camp. Harold was ordered to gather twigs to help start the fire. This would have been a simple enough task if Hope had not been suffering from the aches and pains of a recent beating.
Her movements were slow yet steady. She intended to accomplish the given task and prove her capabiliti
es.
Stuart suddenly appeared at her side and took the small bundle she had already collected from her. “I have an eye for twigs that start good fires. I will finish this. Go rest.”
She thought to protest but a yawn interfered and Stuart grinned.
With reluctance she returned to camp, Lady lagging behind her. The day’s journey had proved tiring for them both and at the moment Hope was more in need of sleep than food. But how could she just plop herself down to rest when every man there was busy setting up camp? She was the only one doing nothing; that she could not tolerate. It was only fair she help.
Hope was tireless in her efforts to share the work with the men and the men were tireless in their efforts to see that the lad rested. It was Colin who finally took her by the arm and forced her to sit by the fire.
“Lady,” he addressed the dog with authority. Her ears perked up and her eyes widened. “See that he stays where he sits.”
Lady seemed to understand. She placed her large body across Hope, settling her head on her legs.
“Good, Lady.” He praised the dog and patted her head before walking off.
Hope had to admit that Colin was certainly a caring soul—as were his men—and she was lucky to have met up with them. There had been a few times she had met men of less reputable character and had barely escaped without serious injury. By the time she had come upon Colin’s camp she had been starving and completely disenchanted with her journey. Now, though, she had to admit she found it rather exciting; but then it was the prospect of learning more about Colin himself that excited her.
Yawns continued to attack her as she watched Colin do his share of the work without complaint. He moved with an easy confidence, his hands familiar with even the most menial task. And his smile remained constant, demonstrating that a mundane chore did not at all disturb him. She heard no complaints from him, and he issued orders with a quiet authority that was immediately obeyed.
She thought him a man of contrast, charming and personable and yet complex and mysterious. How did he lead with charm? And where had he learned the skill?
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