by Barbara Gee
Izzy saw the approving nod Ryan gave Tanner when they slid onto the bench beside his family. She could feel Tanner’s tension and she took his hand in hers, tucking them down between them on the bench where it wasn’t obvious.
“How long since you’ve been in church?” she asked softly as the rest of the congregation filed in and took seats.
He shrugged. “Since right before I left for college. I still went with my grandma sometimes, because it made her happy. I should have gone more.”
“Does this remind you of her?”
His eyes went to the pulpit and the stained glass window in the shape of a cross shining behind it. He nodded and squeezed her hand. “She gave up a lot for me. I wish she’d lived long enough for me to get to the stage where I was mature enough to recognize that, and show her how much it meant to me.”
“I think she probably knew,” Izzy told him. “Grandma’s have super-powers when it comes to knowing their grandchildren.”
He flashed her a smile. “I hope I get to meet yours.”
Izzy felt a rush of warmth. This man actually wanted to meet her sweet granny! Could he be any sweeter?
She leaned her shoulder against his, not caring who noticed, or what they thought. “We’ve been emailing about the house, and she sent a message this morning saying she’ll be here next weekend. She’ll stay in the guest cabin over by the Desmond’s house—where Agent Luther stayed. She used it when she visited after Christmas and said she felt right at home.”
“Nice. I hope I can win her over.”
“She’ll love you,” Izzy promised. Like I think maybe I do.
Thankfully Mrs. Johnson went forward to open the service at that moment, and Tanner didn’t see the sudden moisture in her eyes.
The music was extra good that morning. Their praise band was small but talented. The lead singer’s smooth tenor voice never failed to raise goosebumps for Izzy, and although Tanner didn’t sing along, she thought he was enjoying the time of worship.
Following the music, Pastor Keller preached on grace and forgiveness, and the importance of community in the walk of faith. Tanner sat almost motionless the whole time, and Izzy couldn’t get a sense of how he was responding. He had, however, taken her hand again as soon as they sat down after the singing, and he held it the whole time. Izzy was glad for the connection.
After the service, everyone discovered that Jolene and Boone had snuck in the back, and most of the hundred or so people present wanted a chance to greet Boone. Which was nice, because it took the attention off Tanner, causing him to relax noticeably. Kay hurried over to make sure he would be coming to lunch with Izzy, giving him a huge hug when he assured her he would be there.
He looked surprised by her warm affection, but he returned the hug, a smile lingering on his face after she left. Izzy felt the sting of tears yet again. Her heart hurt for this man who had lost all maternal affection when his grandma had died, and who hadn’t known the love of his actual mother for much longer than that. Tanner needed this place and the people here. He’d told her how hard it was to find “Tanner James” after each undercover assignment, and Izzy hoped desperately that he could come back here to heal after finishing the job looming over him. She was totally convinced it would help him with the transition.
He seemed to be in a good mood as they left the church, but didn’t comment on whether he’d enjoyed it or not. Izzy didn’t push, because she wanted him to come again with no pressure.
Next stop, the Desmonds. Lunch was delicious, and it was great to catch up with Boone again. He would be at the ranch for the next three months, with only a few scheduled appearances calling him away for a few days here and there. He’d had another good year with the Minnesota Wild, and was blessedly injury free. The same couldn’t be said for the teammate who had had his hand badly slashed by the blade of a skate during one of the last games of the season.
Boone gave them a detailed update. It was clear he had taken the young man under his wing, which wasn’t surprising. Boone was the team captain, and he looked out for all his guys. Vince seemed to be special, though. Boone and Jolene were even trying to get him to agree to spend the off-season with them at the ranch.
“Think you could help me with his rehab, and keeping him in shape, Izzy?” Jolene asked. “He’s a good kid, a little bit arrogant and he can be quick tempered, but Boone and Jax are working on that. They know what’s it’s like to enter the league so young, and they’re good mentors for him. We think being here for a couple months would do wonders for Vince, and Boone and Cameron could use his help at the rink.”
“I’ll help any way I can,” Izzy agreed readily. “I love my hockey team, you know.”
“So I hear we’re going to be neighbors, Iz,” Boone drawled. “You need any help with the house?”
“I could use help painting, once I know for sure the sale is going to go through. Gloria told me at church she’s going to contact the listing realtor today, even though it’s Sunday. If the sellers sign off on the repairs I requested, it’s a done deal and I should be able to get the keys yet this afternoon. She’s already told them I’d like to take early possession, and since it’s empty, they didn’t have a problem with that.”
“If that’s the case, how soon can you get the paint?” Libby asked.
Izzy shrugged. “I could get it at the hardware store in town if they can color match to the swatches I got at Menards last night.”
“They can,” Kay said. “I’ve had them color match lots of times. It’s good paint, too.”
Before Izzy knew it, a painting party had been organized for that very evening, provided she was able to get the keys to the house. All six of their friends were ready and willing to help, and Kay promised to bring over a picnic supper for everyone.
“Oh wow, you guys are fantastic, but that means Tanner and I need to get going. I have a ton of organizing to do before you get there. I need to get rollers and brushes and drop cloths. What else?”
Virgil quickly solved the problem by raiding the neatly arranged shelves in this backyard shed and sending Izzy and Tanner off with a more than adequate supply of painting paraphernalia.
When they got in the car, Tanner looked at her, a disbelieving look on his face. “Did that really happen? They’re all dropping everything to come help us paint?”
She had to laugh. “That’s what they do. They’ve always been there for each other, and somehow I got lucky enough to be included in the group. Plus, we’re always glad for an excuse to get together, even if it includes work.”
He grimaced. “It’s gonna suck if we can’t get access today after all.”
“Have faith,” she teased. “Gloria said she got a set of keys after I signed the first contract, so all we need is permission to take early possession.”
“Guess we’d better get out the house plans and figure out how much paint we need for each room,” he said. “And you need to decide on the final colors, if you haven’t already.”
“I can do that. Thank you, Tanner.” Izzy leaned over the console and wrapped her arm around his, resting her head on his shoulder. “I’m glad for their help, but if I had to choose between all of them and just you, I’d choose you every time.”
“Oh yeah?” he asked. “You’d get a lot more painting done with six people.”
“But they aren’t you,” she said simply.
***
Her words wound their way into his heart. Another sweet thing for him to remember when he was gone.
Thinking of being gone reminded him of the unpleasant conversation he’d had with Luther that morning. Somehow, he needed to figure out how to warn Izzy about what was coming, to let her know his safe return wasn’t exactly a given. He didn’t want to scare her needlessly, but he felt a strong obligation to be honest with her. It’s what he would want if the situation was reversed.
He cleared his throat. “We need to talk at some point, Iz. It’s not urgent, but I need to tell you a few things.”
He saw her stiffen. “Is it about the stuff from Agent Luther? And your phone call?”
He nodded. “I can’t say a whole lot, I just want to let you know what to expect as much as I can.”
She tightened her grip on his arm. “I’m ready whenever you are,” she said softly.
He parked in front of her cabin and dropped a quick kiss on her cheek. “I don’t want you to worry about it now. Tonight’s for good memories, okay? I’ll find some old clothes and be over in a few minutes.”
She gave a determined nod. “Okay. I’ll change and get my paint colors.” Her quick smile made his breath catch. “I can’t believe I’m going to paint my new house.”
He watched her go, his heart impossibly full, and yet painfully heavy at the same time. Who would have ever thought his decision to come to the Full Heart Ranch would turn his carefully ordered world upside down?
This morning in church, he’d felt his grandma’s teachings and Izzy’s beloved Holy Spirit at work. That’s the only thing it could have been. The pastor’s words had reached deep, pushing through the walls he’d erected around his soul over the years. He wanted to hear more. He felt a strong desire to talk to the pastor about his own journey so far, and what he would soon be facing, but of course he couldn’t. Luther had already bent the rules to tell Izzy as much as he had, and Tanner knew he wouldn’t do it again.
Maybe he could talk to Tuck and Ryan, since they already knew what was up, but he wasn’t sure how to start that conversation, or even if it would be a good idea. He would soon need to completely submerse himself in the world of Islam, and that would be easier if he wasn’t exploring the Christian faith at the same time—wouldn’t it?
Confused, he went inside and changed into old jeans and a tee shirt that had seen better days. For now, he’d focus on getting Izzy settled in her house. It was important to get her completely moved in before he was gone. More than ever, he wanted her happy and settled, surrounded by things she’d carefully chosen to make her feel comfortable. It would give him a sense of peace if he could make sure she got to that point.
***
“So, Dizzy. You and our boy Tanner seem to be pretty cozy.”
Izzy looked up from where she was kneeling on the kitchen floor, stirring a can of white paint to touch up the trim. Boone was leaning over the counter, a wicked smile on his face and a teasing glint in his green eyes.
She rolled her eyes. The man loved nothing better than to tease her. His initial visit to the ranch had resulted in a lot of awkwardness, because she had hit on him relentlessly until it had become clear he was madly in love with Jolene. Of course that had been during Izzy’s wild years, and everything was different now. Boone had since assumed the role of interfering big brother, even calling her Dizzy, like her blood brothers.
“Don’t act like you’re surprised, Boone. I’m sure Jolene has kept you up to date.”
“Yeah, she told me you’ve gone gaga over the guy. Said it’s almost embarrassing.”
Izzy removed the stir-stick from the paint and used a brush to clean it off before pointing the brush at him. “She did not say that. And if you don’t want a white streak across your face, I suggest you stop teasing me and get back to work.”
Of course his grin only grew wider. “I’d like to see you try. If it makes you feel any better, though, it’s pretty obvious the gaga-ness goes both ways. He can’t keep his eyes off you, and I know Tanner well enough to know that’s unusual for him. He locks up his emotions tighter than anyone I’ve ever met.”
“He just needed the right person to set them free,” Izzy replied airily.
“Yeah, but who would’ve thought it would be our Dizzy Izzy?”
Izzy brandished the paint brush again, this time advancing toward him. “Say that again, Boonzy, I dare you.”
He straightened and squared up to her, that annoying grin still in place. “I said, who would’ve thought—”
“You two, seriously?” Jolene’s voice interrupted Izzy’s approach.
Boone turned and grabbed his wife’s shoulders, drawing her close and resting his chin on her head. “Has she always been this mean, Jo?” he complained. “Look at her, she’s threatening to slap that brush across my face.”
“Like you didn’t do something to deserve it,” Jolene said, pretending to be annoyed. When Tanner came around the corner, she gestured at the two would-be combatants. “I need to warn you about these two, Tanner. They fight like brother and sister.”
Boone took advantage of Izzy being completely distracted by the sight of Tanner, leaping forward to snag the brush out of her hand virtually uncontested.
“Thanks for the distraction, Tanner,” he said, holding it behind his back when Izzy made a move to retrieve it. “She needed to be disarmed. She has a violent streak, I’m sorry to say.”
“Good to know. She’s been hiding that from me,” Tanner drawled.
Boone side-stepped Izzy and clapped the other man on the shoulder. “I think it’s time we had a talk so I can tell you all the other stuff she’s been hiding.”
“Blah blah blah,” Izzy said, shaking her head. The man was incorrigible. She scowled at Jolene. “Couldn’t you have made him stay away a little longer?”
“Come on, Dizzy. You missed me and you know it.”
“I like you a lot better on the ice than in real life,” she replied. “If you weren’t the captain of my favorite team, I’d be severely tempted to hurt you.”
“You’re five foot nothing, Dizzy. How could you possibly hurt me?”
“I’m five foot three, and I’d think of something.”
Tanner held his hands up in a time-out signal. “If you two are going to take the gloves off, let me get my screwdrivers first.” He leaned around Izzy and took the tools off the counter. Then he looked at her and winked. “Holler if you need me.”
“Better yet, I’ll come with you,” Izzy said.
Boone shook a finger at her. “Oh no you don’t. I need some guy time with Tanner. He needs to know what he’s getting into with you.”
“He knows, and he likes it,” she countered.
Jolene laughed and pulled Izzy toward the fridge. “Let them go, Iz. You know Boone is harmless.”
“He’s pushes my buttons like no other,” Izzy complained.
“And you love him for it,” Jolene said knowingly. “Now let’s get the drinks set out. Kay called and said she and Virgil are almost here with the food.”
Izzy forgot about Boone for the moment. “I can’t believe how much we’ve already gotten done. This group is a painting machine. And Tanner has almost all of the new door knobs and hinges installed, so everything matches. I couldn’t handle the mix of brass and nickel, and he knew it. He insisted on getting all new ones when we got the paint.”
“Good call. That’s the kind of thing that would drive me crazy, too.” Jolene smiled happily. “I really do love your new place, Iz. It’ll be so nice and cozy once it’s furnished.”
“I hope so. I don’t know how I’m going to decide on a whole house full of furniture, though. I literally have nothing.”
Jolene took an assortment of bottles and cans from the fridge. She and Boone had shown up armed with sodas, teas, and waters, probably enough to see the entire renovation project through to the end. It was a good thing, because Izzy didn’t even have cups for tap water.
She moved the rest of the tools Tanner had borrowed from Virgil and put the drinks on the counter. A few minutes later, Virgil and Kay showed up with the food and Hank. Sandwiches on homemade sub rolls, potato salad, chopped kale salad, and ice cream cake for dessert.
Since there wasn’t a stick of furniture, Maddy spread the thick comforters she’d brought for just this purpose on the grass in the back yard, and for the next hour they ate and laughed.
They were like a family, and Izzy loved it. From the contented, almost serene look on Tanner’s face, he wasn’t minding it at all, either.
She leaned over and put her lips close to his ea
r. “Good people, huh?” she asked softly.
He met her gaze, his dark eyes warm. “The best. I’m glad you have them.” The rest was unspoken, but Izzy knew what he was thinking.
While I’m gone.
CHAPTER 19
“I’m exhausted,” Izzy said, sinking onto the loveseat in her cabin and propping her feet up on the coffee table.
“Yeah, but it was well worth it, huh? One long evening accomplished more than you and I could have in a whole week.”
Izzy covered a yawn. “At least I’ll sleep well tonight, especially since I barely slept last night.” She realized too late she’d revealed something she hadn’t intended to. Of course, Tanner didn’t miss it, either.
“Why didn’t you sleep last night?”
She shrugged. “Sometimes I can’t turn my brain off,” she said, hoping he’d leave it at that.
“Did knowing about my email from Agent Luther have anything to do with it?” he asked, lowering his big body down beside her and, without warning, scooping her up and settling her in his lap.
Izzy curled into him, sticking her nose against his neck and inhaling appreciatively. “Mmm. Even after working all afternoon and evening, you smell good. How is that?”
“Don’t change the subject, Iz,” he said, rubbing circles on her back. “Were you worried?”
She sighed. “I already told you I was worried you were going to have to leave right away. Among other things.”
He was silent for a while, then he spoke again. “I learned a lot more about what I’ll be doing. And where I’m going.”
Izzy slid her arms around him and held on. “Is it going to be far from here?”
“I can’t say. It’s in this country, though, I can at least tell you that,” he said.
She pulled back and stared up at him in alarm. “Was there a chance it wouldn’t be?”
“Not really. Those are usually manned by the CIA, not the FBI.”
She sagged against him. “Thank God. I don’t like to think of you being alone in another country.”