by Heather Lyn
***
The next week flies by. I spend a couple of my off days at my parents’, helping my dad build my mom a fire pit. Carmen’s going to be home in a few weeks for summer break before her final year at Boston College, and we’re all looking forward to having her home.
Grayson and I got together with the guys a couple of nights over the week, poker games and such, and I found myself thinking about Aubrey less and less. I still can’t understand why I’m so annoyed by her brush-off.
This is my last shift for the next couple days and I’m planning on spending the time off remodeling my kitchen. I just had the new appliances delivered and the old ones removed, so I’m ready to go. Grayson is supposed to help me with it, but really that just means he’ll be bringing beer and a headache. He’s lucky I put up with his annoying ass.
I’ve just grabbed a bottle of water out of the firehouse kitchen’s fridge when the alarm goes off, signaling a call.
“Man down from unexpected causes. Ambulance 72. Truck 62 assist. 16 Dearborn Way.”
Setting the bottle back down, I jog out to the bay. I pull on my pants and boots, grab my jacket and helmet and jump in the truck. Grayson starts it once I’m inside and we follow after the ambulance. We’re only about a five-minute drive, and soon we’re racing down the path to the house. When we pull in, the paramedics are grabbing the backboard and kits out of the back. I leave my jacket and helmet, as there’s clearly no fire, and hop down from the truck, the other guys on our crew doing the same. A young woman comes running out the front door, yelling for the paramedics to hurry, and they go racing off. We’re still unsure of the situation so we hang out around the house, waiting to see if we’re needed.
The woman stays out on the porch, pacing back and forth. I decide to go talk to her and find out anything I can. When I get closer, I’m horrified to see who it is.
“Aubrey! Are you okay? What’s going on?” Her pretty blue eyes are red and puffy, and she has tears pouring down her cheeks. When she notices me, she hesitates for only a second before she reaches out and wraps her arms around my waist, burying her face in my chest.
“It’s my dad. I don’t know what happened. He’s been doing so well. He had another round a couple days ago, and today he was complaining of a headache. But when he got up, he fell down and wouldn’t wake up. Mom called 911. I’m so scared, Noah.”
I keep my arms around her tightly. I still don’t have any idea what’s going on, but she’s clearly distraught and I’m not going to press her for any more information yet. I kiss the top of her head and keep her close to me. After a few minutes, she calms down, so I decide to find out what’s happening. I help her inside and sit her on the couch, kneeling in front of her.
“Aubrey, talk to me. Don’t focus on what’s going on. Your dad is in good hands with those guys. Now, you said he had a round a few days ago. Do you mean chemotherapy?”
“Yes. The night I met you at the bar, Dad told us he had brain cancer. An inoperable tumor. They were trying to shrink it, but I don’t know. He just went down. He’d been having the headaches before he was diagnosed, so he didn’t think it was any different. I don’t want him to die, Noah. I don’t know what to do.” She still has tears running down her cheeks as she looks at me, and I can’t stop myself from reaching out and wiping them away with the back of my hand. So many things are starting to make sense to me—why she’s so closed off, why she went rushing out of the bar.
This girl has so much shit on her plate.
After a few minutes, I look up to see the paramedic wheeling her dad out on a stretcher. They go out the front door with him and we follow. As they place him in the back of the ambulance, a woman I assume is Aubrey’s mother climbs in with them. They’re going to bring him to the hospital for observation, but they think he’s going to be okay. Aubrey lets her mother know she’ll meet them there. Aubrey turns to me and starts thanking me for everything. I cut her off with a wave of my hand.
“Listen to me, Aubrey. It’s going to be okay, I promise. But listen, why don’t you give me your phone number, and if you and your mom ever need anything, you give me a call. Grayson told me about what you told him, and I completely respect that, but I care about you. So please, let me be there for you. Everybody needs friends.” I smile at her.
“Yeah, okay. That’s a good idea. Thank you so much, Noah.” She hands me her phone and I call my own cell, so I have her number. I program mine in and tell her again to call or text anytime. I hand her back her cell phone and she rushes over to her car to follow the ambulance. I head back over to the truck and tell everyone we’re good to go.
Grayson keeps looking at me on the short drive back, and once all the guys are out of earshot, he asks me what happened. I just shake my head.
“Her dad has inoperable brain cancer. Shit, man, I just thought she didn’t like me. I didn’t know her dad was fucking dying. I gave her my number and told her to call me if she and her mom ever needed anything. Was that a dick move? I told her I’d be okay with just being friends.”
“Nah, dude. Sounds to me like she could use some help with everything. And from the way she grabbed onto you when you walked up to her, I’d say she’s okay with that.” I walk into the bunkhouse to grab my cell phone so I can save Aubrey’s number, when I notice I have a text. It’s from her.
Aubrey: Thank you so much for today, Noah. I’m sorry for being so weird last week on the field trip, but I’ve just had a lot on my mind since Dad’s diagnosis. You’re a good man.
Noah: You’re welcome. Anything you need, you just let me know.
I’m starving, so I go into the kitchen to see if anyone’s made any food. Everyone is making sandwiches, so I grab some stuff for myself.
I think it goes without saying that it ended up being the longest shift of my life. All I can think about is how Aubrey’s dad is doing, and how she’s handling it all. Later that night, I send her a text.
Noah: How’s your dad?
Aubrey: He’s much better, thanks for asking. He was just really dehydrated from his last round of chemo, so they’re giving him some fluids, but they’re hoping to release him tomorrow and continue with his next scheduled chemo appointment.
I’m really happy to hear that everything’s going okay. How has this girl managed to work her way into all my thoughts? I can’t figure it out. Sure, I’ve had girlfriends before—I’m not this inexperienced virginal idiot—but this has nothing to do with sex. I mean, don’t get me wrong; I’d love to have her naked body writhing beneath mine, hear her screaming my name while I fuck her sweet pussy. No, this is about a different kind of intimacy. I want to know her, know what she wants to do with her life. I want to be a part of her life.
Fuck. I’m so screwed. Just friends, my ass.
We have no calls throughout the night, so I’m actually pretty well rested when I leave the firehouse. I’m just throwing my duffle bag into the back of my truck when a thought strikes me. Pulling out my phone, I quickly send Aubrey a text.
Noah: Morning! I just thought of something. What’s your last name? You never told me.
Aubrey: Stevens. And for the record, you never asked me what it was.
I chuckle. This girl is something all right. And I love it. Wait, love? Where did that come from?
Noah: Well, for the record, my last name is Davis. In case you wanted to Google me or something, find out how amazing I am.
Aubrey: I could just look up the word ‘ego’ in the dictionary, but thanks!
I start laughing at that one. This girl. She’s slowly warming up to me, I can tell.
Hopping in my truck, I head over to the hospital, hoping to use my charm and wit to find out what room a Mr. Stevens is in. I know most of the nurses in the emergency department, since we often help out with transporting victims, so it shouldn’t be too hard. Stopping at the gift shop outside the main entrance, I pick up a ‘get well soon’ balloon and a teddy bear. It’s probably incredibly silly and cheesy, but hey, that’s just the kin
d of guy I am. Once I reach the nurses station, all I do is mention that it was a call from the day before and I’m in. Michael Stevens is in Room 48.
Here goes nothing.
CHAPTER 5
AUBREY
We’ve been waiting in the room with Dad for a while now. After they told us that he’s going to be fine, Mom and I decided to go home to get some sleep before coming back this morning. We’re waiting on the doctors to come in and talk with us. And I still haven’t spoken to Landon. I’ve left him multiple voice messages and texts, and Mom has even tried calling, but to no avail. Clearly, he’s shutting us out. I pick up my phone, thinking about trying to call him one more time, when there’s a knock at the door. Assuming it’s the doctor, I drop my phone back in my purse.
But it isn’t a doctor who walks in. It’s Noah.
“Hey, Aubrey! I’m so sorry to drop by unannounced, but I wanted to see how your dad was feeling, and find out if there was anything I could do for you guys.” He has a balloon in one hand and a teddy bear in the other, setting them both on the cart next to my dad’s bed. I sit there in silence, maybe even a little in shock as he holds his hand out to my dad.
“Noah Davis, sir. It’s a pleasure to meet you. How are you feeling?”
“Mike Stevens. I’m doing well, thanks for asking. I take it you and Aubrey know each other?”
“Yeah. We met several weeks ago when we literally ran into each other at a bar downtown. And I was actually one of the firefighters who assisted with the call yesterday.”
“He was also one of the firefighters who gave the kids the tour the other day at the fire station. He was awesome with the kids,” I explain to my mom, who is clearly confused.
“Oh, where are my manners. Noah Davis, ma’am. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Noah reaches out to shake my mom’s hand, who smiles back at him.
“Sharon. Nice to meet you.” She looks over at me with a knowing grin on her face. I can already tell she’s getting her hopes up, because that’s how my mom is. When she and my dad were my age, they were already married. And she had never liked my ex-boyfriend from college. He was a jackass though, so she wasn’t entirely wrong.
“Aubrey, could I speak with you privately for a moment? I promise I won’t take up too much of your time. I just need to ask you something really quick.”
“Yeah, sure. I’ll be right back, Daddy.” I lean over and kiss my dad on the cheek.
“No rush, baby girl. Noah, it was nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you too, Mike. I hope you feel better.” Noah places his hand on the small of my back as he ushers me out of the room, pulling me over to the small waiting room nearby. He motions for me to sit down, and when I do he takes a seat next to me. He has another freaking baseball hat on backwards, and he smells so good, like he just showered. I’m tempted to stick my nose into the crook of his neck and take a big whiff, but instead I just sit there, waiting to see what he wants to talk about.
“I’m sorry for dropping by like this, but I just wanted to see how you were doing. I know yesterday was probably really difficult, and I wanted to make sure you were okay.” He looks so genuine I almost can’t believe this guy is real.
“Seriously?” I can’t help the disbelief in my voice.
“Seriously.” He smiles at me and reaches over to take my hand, lacing our fingers together. Resting our hands on his thigh, he looks at me, waiting for me to speak.
“I’m doing okay. Relieved it wasn’t anything worse. We’re still waiting for his oncologist to get here so we can find out if anything else is going on, but for right now I’m okay. Thank you, Noah. I know I can be really hot and cold with you, but I’m just trying to figure out how to deal with all this. It’s not something I ever thought I’d have to deal with.” I can feel the damn tears welling up in my eyes. I am so sick of crying.
Noah reaches out and cups my cheek in his rough, callused palm, giving me a small smile. Using his thumb, he brushes a tear off my cheek.“It’s okay, sweetheart. I understand. Not what you’re going through, but I understand the emotions behind what you’re feeling. I told you I wanted to be there for you. I’m not asking you to marry me and sail off into the sunset. I just want you to know that if you ever need to talk to someone, or scream and hit something, or hell, cry until your eyes are swollen shut, I’m here for you. I told you I wanted to be friends, and I mean it.”
“Noah…” I don’t even know what to say, so I lean over and wrap my arms around his neck. He immediately enfolds me in his, hugging me tight. I let him hold me for just a moment and then I release him.
“Well, I should get back, but thank you for coming, Noah. I really appreciate it. I’m sure my dad did too.”
“Not a problem, Aubrey. Will you let me know what his doctor says?”
“Yeah, of course. I’ll text you later.”
He leans down and kisses my temple, then smiles and walks away. I’m left standing there trying to understand what’s happening. I hardly know him, yet he came all this way just to check in on my dad, someone he doesn’t even know. And he’s offering to be just my friend. Noah seems to be one of the most genuine people I’ve met. I think he really cares.
***
Later, we receive the news that the chemo isn’t working. The tumor hasn’t shrunk at all, so they want to start a more aggressive round of chemo. They tell my dad this is his final option, but to be prepared for the worst. As soon as they leave the room, my mom breaks down sobbing. I can feel the backs of my eyes burning, but I hold the tears in. This is a nightmare, but I’m never going to be able to get out of it. My dad is dying. They may be able to slow it down and delay the inevitable, but he is dying. And there’s nothing we can do.
After making sure my parents are all set, I head home. I texted Kennedy before I left that I need my best friend tonight, so I know she’s there waiting for me. I slowly trudge up the stairs and open our front door.
“Kenni! I’m home!” I shout as I step into the living room, pulling off my boots and throwing them next to the front door.
Kennedy comes walking out of my bedroom, a small smile on her face.
“Hey, girl. So, uh, you have a visitor. I had him wait in your room because I didn’t know how you’d feel about his visit.”
I immediately assume Noah is stalking me now and has somehow found my address, but it’s Landon who steps out of my bedroom.
“Landon. What are you doing here?” I see Kennedy point at him and then back at me before heading to her room. She’s giving us some alone time before I talk to her.
“Hey, sis. I’m sorry I haven’t spoken to any of you in a couple weeks. I’ve been such a dick, and I am so sorry. That wasn’t fair, and I know that.” He’s fighting his emotions, I can tell. His blue eyes are bloodshot and watery, and his brown hair looks like he’s been running his hands through it.
“It wasn’t fair to Dad, Landon. I’m a big girl and can take care of myself, but it’s not fair to put him and Mom through your bullshit. I get it, Land. This fucking sucks, and you don’t even know the half of it. You haven’t been here these last couple weeks. Where have you been, anyway? It’s like you just went completely off the grid.”
“I just holed up in my apartment, shut my cell phone off. I needed some time to come to terms with Dad being sick. I didn’t know how to act, what to do. I don’t know what to say other than I’m sorry, Aubrey. Please, sis, I need you to forgive me.”
This sucks. I completely understand why he reacted the way he did, and now I have to give him even worse news. He has no clue the things that have transpired in three weeks.
“Landon, it’s okay. I understand, and you’re forgiven. I’m glad you’re here though. We need to talk.” Taking him by the hand, I lead him into my bedroom where we sit on my bed as I explain all the events from the last couple of days. He loses the fight to not cry when I tell him about Dad’s spell at the house. And then the worst of it. Tears start rolling down my cheeks as I say some of the hardest thing
s I’ve ever said.
“He’s dying, Land. The tumor isn’t going away, and even with this round of chemo, they’re just going to be prolonging the inevitable. Our dad is dying, Landon, and there’s nothing that can be done about it.” My chest shakes as I cry, finally allowing myself to succumb to the pain. I feel my brother’s arms come around me, crushing me to his chest as he cries with me.
This is so unfair.
***
I wake up in my bed, with Kennedy next to me. I must have cried myself to sleep while Landon was here earlier. I reach for my purse on the floor, grabbing my cell phone. I have a message from my mom, letting me know that Landon is at the house and they were all talking. I also have one from Noah, asking how it went with the doctors today. I completely forgot to let him know.
Opening my messages, I type out a quick reply.
Aubrey: Not good. Not feeling up to talking, sorry.
Noah: I’m so sorry, Aubrey.
I drop my phone on the nightstand and roll over, giving in to the exhaustion rolling through my body.
***
When I wake up the next morning, I’m all stiff and my eyes hurt. Shuffling into my bathroom, my reflection is a total nightmare. My blonde hair is sticking up all over the place, and my eyes are incredibly red and swollen. As is my nose. I’m a mess.
Starting the water in my shower, I turn it to the hottest temperature I can stand before quickly stripping out of my clothes and stepping under the spray. I can feel the tears threatening to spill again, but I hold them back. I can’t just walk around crying all the time; I need to be strong for my family. They need me.
After rushing through my shower, I turn the water off, I step onto the bathmat, wrap a towel around myself and my hair, and then head into my bedroom. I grab an old T-shirt and a pair of yoga pants to wear, and throw my damp hair into a ponytail. I’m exhausted and need a cup of coffee. Or maybe twelve.