“I’m not. I’m fi—”
He held out his hand to cut her off. “You’re not fine,” he said loudly.
She swiveled to survey the preparations below. The Siders down there were setting up decorations and candles along the mantel. They hadn’t looked up at Sebastian’s words.
“My room,” she commanded. “Now.”
When they were beyond prying ears in her bedroom, she closed her door. She kept her hand on the wood, trying to collect herself as he paced behind her back.
She swallowed hard, unsure how to tell him about the attack at Milton’s. Eden and her Second were gone, along with Zach. “Sebastian, I . . .”
“I shouldn’t have undermined your authority,” he said. “Especially after your absence.”
The floorboards creaked as he shifted, giving away how uncomfortable the confrontation made him.
“You can’t hurt our Siders, Kristen. To beat the Bound, we need strength and we need numbers. Losing either is unacceptable.” As she turned to face him, Sebastian took a deep breath and began again. “Is it your illness that has you acting this way?”
Being in charge, he’d grown bold.
She felt her face flush. “Cruelty isn’t a symptom.”
Nothing would wipe away how she’d felt seeing Sebastian at Aerie, where he and Eden had come looking and found her with Luke. Eden had gone for insults and personal drama, but Sebastian . . . he had only wanted her safe, wanted her home. If he’d come alone, she just might have listened to him.
She wondered if Luke would have let her go.
Sebastian led the others to believe her absence was a planned event. As always, he seemed to know exactly when to give her space and when to push. They needed to trust each other. Secrets now could get them killed.
“You’re afraid?” He raised an eyebrow, waiting a moment for her to contradict him, then plowed on. “Don’t be. Tomorrow, we have the ball. The others will come and—”
“Gabriel said last week the other angels were close to figuring out a way to kill us. They may already have found one.” She licked her lips as she broke eye contact. “There was an attack today in Manhattan.”
“Today? In broad daylight?” Sebastian balked. “On Eden’s crew?”
Kristen nodded. “Eden, Jarrod, possibly another girl with them. And one other.” She wanted to be strong for him. “Zach.”
His face fell. She barely heard his whispered curse.
“No one is to leave the house,” she commanded. “Not together, not alone. Not at all. We need everyone here and ready to fight if necessary.” I need you safe. By my side, she thought but didn’t say. He had to know how important he was. How she leaned on him. “Are you all ri—”
“Numbers don’t matter if we can’t kill our enemy. Why haven’t you asked Gabriel?” The coldness in his voice cut through her like ice.
“What, how to kill the Bound?” She ran her fingers through the wild mess of her brown hair until she hit a snarl. “He would never tell me. What would the Siders do to me if I told the Bound some way to kill us?” she asked, exasperated.
The rationalization didn’t give him pause. His brown eyes burned with anger. “Manipulate him. Guilt him into it.”
She blinked at him in surprise. “He’s my friend!”
“No. He’s one of them, Kristen, and from what you told me, he’s pretty desperate to remain so. You’d do well to remember he’s an enemy.”
She shook her head, but it did nothing to stop her thoughts. Gabriel’s face on the train when he was Fallen, how he’d hurt her, his grip bruising her wrist. The black and blue marks had been nothing; remembering how he’d cast her aside cut deeper. Will he do it again, for the Bound this time? “Gabriel’s done more for me than—”
“Past tense. Done,” Sebastian said before she could finish, stabbing a victorious finger in her face.
“This conversation is over.” She turned away, couldn’t look at him, couldn’t bear to acknowledge the truth in his words. “Are we clear?”
“Fine.” Sebastian crossed his arms. “What about Luke?”
Heat rose slowly up her neck to her cheeks. “You just don’t stop, do you? I told you that was done.”
“And I believe you. But would he tell you how to kill angels?”
The idea took hold even as her anger slid away.
“Kristen?” Sebastian prodded. “Would Luke tell you how to kill angels?”
She shook her head, rattling the thought away. It didn’t matter. “Not anymore.” She’d denied Luke in front of Gabriel. He’d laced her up in his delicate puppet strings, left her feeling foolish and unraveled. It was over. “Lucifer isn’t exactly one to trust in an alliance anyway,” she said.
Sebastian took a step toward her. “Are you sure? Our lives depend on it.” She glanced up at him.
“I’ll do what I can.” Her voice was barely audible. After closing the door behind Sebastian, she stood lost in her thoughts.
Luke’s dangerous. He used you. The voice in her head belonged to Gabriel. She wanted to listen. And yet, she’d seen the rage on Luke’s face when he realized she was leaving him. Angry after Gabriel had been Bound, when any Siders Eden killed off were back to infecting Upstairs, not Down. Why had Luke been so livid at her leaving if he’d already won his game?
Her eyes slipped shut, the memory of the last night at Aerie replaying. Eden suffering, Gabriel Bound again, sanity. And Luke, beside her, the whisper in her ear. This is everything you wanted, he had said.
But what had he wanted?
She rolled a gaudy sapphire ring around her thumb, pondering. What would happen if she listened to Sebastian? She pictured herself showing up at Luke’s apartment unannounced. Even in her imagination, the smug smile that she knew he’d wear irked her. He’d cock his hip against the doorframe, maybe surprised to see her there, but maybe not. She wondered if he’d force her to say the things that her presence would tell him anyway: that she’d made a mistake, should have stayed. Missed him.
Kristen sighed. There was only one reason she couldn’t go through with it.
Luke would know it wasn’t a lie.
CHAPTER 10
Hunkered down inside Zach’s tiny efficiency apartment, Eden couldn’t focus. She and Sullivan had pulled a futon in front of the door. The only other furniture in the place—a broken dresser with a small television balanced precariously on top—Jarrod had moved in front of the window.
They went through the apartment, meticulously searching for anything that would lead them to Erin. Torn and dog-eared paperbacks were piled up in a corner waist high. Clothes hung haphazardly in a half-open closet. While Eden and Jarrod had brainstormed about how the Siders originated, Sullivan stayed in the kitchen going through the few papers Zach had lying around, looking for a number for Erin, an address, anything. Eden knew she wouldn’t find it. What reason would Zach have to write it down?
Eden sat cross-legged on the futon, adding names to the pad of paper on the cushion beside her. They had to figure out where the Siders came from. “Madeline won’t talk to us until tomorrow night, Vaughn’s pretty much out of the question, and Kristen apparently wants to kill us.” She tapped the pen against her cheek. “We have no way to get a hold of Erin.”
“Someone has to know something!” Jarrod said, pinching the bridge of his nose. Eden gave him a sympathetic look. In truth, she was worried about him. His focus clung to her and Sullivan like they’d disappear any second, tracked them, kept them locked in a haunted gaze she’d never seen from him before. Even now, he leaned back just enough to see Sullivan, though they both could hear her rummaging. “Seriously, Eden. It wasn’t magic. The four of them didn’t just pop out of thin air.”
“Wait.” She balanced her elbow on her knee, leaning forward on her palm. “Not four,” she said. “Five. When I first became a Sider, Kristen told me there were five originals. When they started to find more Siders, they split into the territories. Madeline’s in Queens, Kristen got the Bronx, Er
in was Manhattan, Vaughn had Staten Island,” she said, pointing to each name. She drew a quick map, filling in the names. She tapped the hole between Staten Island and the others. “Why does no one ever talk about Brooklyn?”
“You’re right,” he said slowly.
She leaned back, puzzled. It couldn’t be that easy. Could it? “Someone’s gotta be there. Otherwise they wouldn’t have given me Erin’s territory. Plus, if it was empty, someone should have claimed it by now, right?”
“Have Kristen or Madeline ever mentioned who’s in Brooklyn?” he asked. She shook her head as he closed the distance between them. “Sullivan!” he called out.
She came around the corner from the kitchen. “Yeah?”
“Vaughn.” Sullivan startled at the name, and Jarrod laid his hands on her shoulders. He brushed back her long black hair, kissing her gently on the forehead. “When you were with him, did he ever mention any Siders from Brooklyn?”
An ache bloomed inside of Eden, but she didn’t bother to look for ashes on her palms. This pain had nothing to do with lack of Touch. At least not that kind, she thought. Watching the tenderness between Jarrod and Sullivan, she could almost feel the sensation of Az’s fingertips on her skin, his lips soft on her collarbones. I’ll get him back, she promised herself. I will. But I can’t think about him.
She couldn’t lose herself down that spiral. Not now. “Sullivan,” she said. “We need you to remember this.”
Rather than answering immediately, Sullivan took a second to think it over. She’d been out of her mind on Touch for most of the time she’d been with Vaughn. “Well, I’m from Brooklyn,” she started slowly. “But I don’t think he ever mentioned it.”
Jarrod’s hand tightened on her shoulder. “How long did you live there?” he asked, a desperate tone in his voice that Eden didn’t understand. “Sullivan, did you live there when you were fourteen?”
Her face wrinkled in confusion. “Yeah, until about a year and a half ago.”
Jarrod whipped around to Eden. “Then Vaughn’s from Brooklyn. That’s where he was when he went Sider. When I fought him in the alley, he was saying Sullivan was his girl, that she’d been his girl since they were both fourteen.”
“What?” Sullivan said. “No, I just met him, like, six months ago.”
Jarrod softened. He took her hand. “He said you were with him for three years, Sullivan,” he said. She backed away, shaking her head. Jarrod stayed with her, step for step. “He’d stayed away from you for over a year, and then you came into a club where he was selling Touch. You’d forgotten him, because he turned Sider and you were still a mortal.”
“That’s not true,” she said, the last word lilting up at the end in her uncertainty. She looked at Eden as if she’d have the answers. “I would remember him.” Sullivan’s face clouded over. “I wouldn’t have stayed with him for three years. He was mean. He did things . . . things I can’t even . . .”
Jarrod took her into his arms and met Eden’s eyes over her shoulder. “Do you think it started with Vaughn?” he asked.
“Stop,” Eden said. She concentrated, trying to remember her first week with Kristen. There’d been so much information, so much to learn. Still, something wasn’t right. “Sullivan, how long were you with him?”
“We dated, like, three months? But I met him at the beginning of summer, so I’ve known him around six.”
“Six months,” Eden whispered, jotting down the information in the notebook. “And a year before that when he said he left you alone . . .” She trailed off. It doesn’t match up, she realized. “When I stayed with Kristen, she said the five of them split into territories two years ago. That would be before he was a Sider!” Eden crossed Vaughn’s name off the list and looked up at Jarrod. “He moved to Staten Island because Sullivan moved there. Which means Vaughn wasn’t the original territory leader. He wasn’t even a Sider when the others decided on boroughs.”
“Which means there are two Siders we have to find,” Sullivan said. “Whoever’s in charge in Brooklyn and whoever was in charge before Vaughn got to Staten Island.”
Why didn’t anyone tell me? Eden thought. Kristen and Madeline had played it off like Vaughn had been there from the start. What are they hiding?
CHAPTER 10
Hunkered down inside Zach’s tiny efficiency apartment, Eden couldn’t focus. She and Sullivan had pulled a futon in front of the door. The only other furniture in the place—a broken dresser with a small television balanced precariously on top—Jarrod had moved in front of the window.
They went through the apartment, meticulously searching for anything that would lead them to Erin. Torn and dog-eared paperbacks were piled up in a corner waist high. Clothes hung haphazardly in a half-open closet. While Eden and Jarrod had brainstormed about how the Siders originated, Sullivan stayed in the kitchen going through the few papers Zach had lying around, looking for a number for Erin, an address, anything. Eden knew she wouldn’t find it. What reason would Zach have to write it down?
Eden sat cross-legged on the futon, adding names to the pad of paper on the cushion beside her. They had to figure out where the Siders came from. “Madeline won’t talk to us until tomorrow night, Vaughn’s pretty much out of the question, and Kristen apparently wants to kill us.” She tapped the pen against her cheek. “We have no way to get a hold of Erin.”
“Someone has to know something!” Jarrod said, pinching the bridge of his nose. Eden gave him a sympathetic look. In truth, she was worried about him. His focus clung to her and Sullivan like they’d disappear any second, tracked them, kept them locked in a haunted gaze she’d never seen from him before. Even now, he leaned back just enough to see Sullivan, though they both could hear her rummaging. “Seriously, Eden. It wasn’t magic. The four of them didn’t just pop out of thin air.”
“Wait.” She balanced her elbow on her knee, leaning forward on her palm. “Not four,” she said. “Five. When I first became a Sider, Kristen told me there were five originals. When they started to find more Siders, they split into the territories. Madeline’s in Queens, Kristen got the Bronx, Erin was Manhattan, Vaughn had Staten Island,” she said, pointing to each name. She drew a quick map, filling in the names. She tapped the hole between Staten Island and the others. “Why does no one ever talk about Brooklyn?”
“You’re right,” he said slowly.
She leaned back, puzzled. It couldn’t be that easy. Could it? “Someone’s gotta be there. Otherwise they wouldn’t have given me Erin’s territory. Plus, if it was empty, someone should have claimed it by now, right?”
“Have Kristen or Madeline ever mentioned who’s in Brooklyn?” he asked. She shook her head as he closed the distance between them. “Sullivan!” he called out.
She came around the corner from the kitchen. “Yeah?”
“Vaughn.” Sullivan startled at the name, and Jarrod laid his hands on her shoulders. He brushed back her long black hair, kissing her gently on the forehead. “When you were with him, did he ever mention any Siders from Brooklyn?”
An ache bloomed inside of Eden, but she didn’t bother to look for ashes on her palms. This pain had nothing to do with lack of Touch. At least not that kind, she thought. Watching the tenderness between Jarrod and Sullivan, she could almost feel the sensation of Az’s fingertips on her skin, his lips soft on her collarbones. I’ll get him back, she promised herself. I will. But I can’t think about him.
She couldn’t lose herself down that spiral. Not now. “Sullivan,” she said. “We need you to remember this.”
Rather than answering immediately, Sullivan took a second to think it over. She’d been out of her mind on Touch for most of the time she’d been with Vaughn. “Well, I’m from Brooklyn,” she started slowly. “But I don’t think he ever mentioned it.”
Jarrod’s hand tightened on her shoulder. “How long did you live there?” he asked, a desperate tone in his voice that Eden didn’t understand. “Sullivan, did you live there when you were fourteen?”
/> Her face wrinkled in confusion. “Yeah, until about a year and a half ago.”
Jarrod whipped around to Eden. “Then Vaughn’s from Brooklyn. That’s where he was when he went Sider. When I fought him in the alley, he was saying Sullivan was his girl, that she’d been his girl since they were both fourteen.”
“What?” Sullivan said. “No, I just met him, like, six months ago.”
Jarrod softened. He took her hand. “He said you were with him for three years, Sullivan,” he said. She backed away, shaking her head. Jarrod stayed with her, step for step. “He’d stayed away from you for over a year, and then you came into a club where he was selling Touch. You’d forgotten him, because he turned Sider and you were still a mortal.”
“That’s not true,” she said, the last word lilting up at the end in her uncertainty. She looked at Eden as if she’d have the answers. “I would remember him.” Sullivan’s face clouded over. “I wouldn’t have stayed with him for three years. He was mean. He did things . . . things I can’t even . . .”
Jarrod took her into his arms and met Eden’s eyes over her shoulder. “Do you think it started with Vaughn?” he asked.
“Stop,” Eden said. She concentrated, trying to remember her first week with Kristen. There’d been so much information, so much to learn. Still, something wasn’t right. “Sullivan, how long were you with him?”
“We dated, like, three months? But I met him at the beginning of summer, so I’ve known him around six.”
“Six months,” Eden whispered, jotting down the information in the notebook. “And a year before that when he said he left you alone . . .” She trailed off. It doesn’t match up, she realized. “When I stayed with Kristen, she said the five of them split into territories two years ago. That would be before he was a Sider!” Eden crossed Vaughn’s name off the list and looked up at Jarrod. “He moved to Staten Island because Sullivan moved there. Which means Vaughn wasn’t the original territory leader. He wasn’t even a Sider when the others decided on boroughs.”
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