by Roma, Laurie
“Did you just…you so did not just call me that,” Gage sputtered.
“Oh yes, yes I did.” Mikayla chuckled at his indignation then sobered as she leaned back so she could look down into those vibrant green eyes of his. “We really do have things to talk about. Serious things.”
Gage blew out a breath. “We should do this without you sitting on my dick if you want me to focus. I have a difficult enough time concentrating whenever you’re near me. I don’t need the added distraction.”
After he reluctantly released her Mikayla shifted so she was sitting with her back against the armrest, with her legs stretched out over his lap. “Better?”
“No, but it will do. Let’s do this so you can get back here where I want you.”
“Where, on your dick?” Mikayla quipped.
To her surprise a slight blush spread over his cheeks as he muttered to himself and absently began rubbing her feet. It was so far from how she usually saw him that her jaw dropped open in shock. “I meant in my arms were I could hold you,” Gage snapped, louder so she could hear him.
She had opened her mouth to crack a joke, but reined it as he spoke. Mikayla eyed him thoughtfully. “I’m sorry.”
“Forget it.” Gage scrubbed his hands over his face then turned so he was staring directly at her. “Look, Mikayla. I’m out of my depth here. I don’t know what to do or say at this point and I’m so fucking scared I’m gonna say the wrong thing and you’ll make me leave or have one of your bodyguards beat the shit out of me. Wait.” He paused as he looked around. “Where is everyone? They aren’t going to jump out at me or something when I least expect it, are they?”
She had to chuckle. “Slade had to fly out of town and caught a ride into Denver with the twins when they left earlier. You’re safe. For now.”
Gage cursed under his breath.
“Where’s Wulf?”
“I left him at home. He’s spending the day with Dylan.”
“Oh.” She knew she was stalling. She took a deep breath, preparing to let him further into her life, and hoped to god that he could handle it. “Truth time. My life…hasn’t been easy. I’m sorry if you felt that I lied to you, but you have to understand my life and those of my colleagues depends on secrecy.”
Mikayla rubbed her other foot lightly against his thigh as she continued down the path of painful memories. “I guess I should explain a little about my past so you can understand where I’m coming from. I grew up in Greece with my parents. My father was an ambassador for the United States when he met my mother. She came from a wealthy family and for years we were happy there. Until a terrorist blew up the embassy, killing everyone inside.”
“Oh, god,” Gage whispered, his body jerking under her legs.
She stared into the fireplace as she remembered that horrible day. “It was a Tuesday. I had been at school that day. My mother didn’t have to work, but after they were married she had signed on as an official liaison between the Greek and US governments, working side by side with my father. I was so proud of them. They were a real team. It was early afternoon when two marines came to the doorway. I knew. I knew before they even said anything that something terrible had happened. They escorted me out of the building and told me what had happened, but I wouldn’t believe them until I saw it with my own eyes.”
Mikayla paused for a moment. “I saw what they did,” she whispered. “The embassy was gone. There was nothing left but a crater in the ground. So many lives lost and for what? A local terrorist cell had objected to the US backing Greece’s stance on increased security and customs checks at the borders. So they killed everyone. I wanted to scream when I saw what was left. I wanted to lash out and make those who were responsible pay for what they’d done. But I couldn’t. For the next two weeks it was all a blur. I couldn’t bring myself to speak because if I did I knew I would scream and just never stop, so I held it in.”
Gage held his breath, waiting for her to continue, not wanting to speak and interrupt her as she waded through memories of a child’s terror. He rubbed comforting hands over her legs, needing the connection to her. He felt a sharp pain in his chest as she finally looked back at him. Her violet eyes were brimming with tears and shone like amethysts in the dim firelight. They were filled with such sadness that his heart broke for her and the pain of her loss.
“I wanted to be with them. I couldn’t understand how I had survived when everyone else was gone.”
“Oh, baby,” Gage whispered pulling her into him, unable to bear the space between them any longer. He lifted her and settled her back on his lap where he could hold her, wrapped safely within his embrace. “It wasn’t your fault. I’m sorry. So sorry you had to lose them that way.”
Mikayla patted his chest as if trying to comfort him. God knew he needed it. He couldn’t imagine losing his family in such a violent way at such a young age. Sure, both his mother and father had died, but he had been older and he had his brother, sister and cousin with him. Mikayla had been alone.
“Did you stay in Greece with your mom’s family?”
“No.” Mikayla sighed as she laid her head on his shoulder. “They didn’t know what to do with me. They’re good people, but dealing with a traumatized child was far beyond their scope of capabilities. My uncle Ethan came to get me and I went back to the States to live with him. He was an Army general and I went to live with him on base.”
She told him how she had started training with her uncle and how she had discovered her aptitude for shooting. She told him about joining the Army and how she had met Brett, Slade and the twins when they had been put into a special unit together. She pulled away so she could look him in the eye.
“So you see, Slade, Rock, Adrian and Brett aren’t my bodyguards. We’ve been through hell together and saved each other’s lives more times than I can count. They’re my family as much as Dylan, Katie, and Sebastian are yours.”
“I can see that,” Gage said softly as he rubbed his hands gently up and down her arms in a soothing motion. “I’m glad you had them. I can’t even imagine what you have been through together, but I understand how important you are to each other.”
“I know this is a lot to throw at you at once. Some people may focus on the people we… I kill, but I choose to think about the lives I save instead. One terrorist can kill hundreds or thousands of people.”
“I understand,” Gage said, and to her relief she could see that he did. There was no judgment in his gaze. Instead, she saw something that made her pulse quicken and her breath catch.
“You were right. I may have played a soldier in movies, but I will never be able to truly understand what you’ve been through. You…you’re a hero, Mikayla.” He held a finger to her lips to silence him so he could continue without interruption. “You are even if you can’t admit it.”
“Gage,” Mikayla whispered after she pulled at his wrist to lower his hand. “I’m the same person I was when you met me. I’m still just me. Please don’t make me more than I am.”
“You’re wrong. You’re so much more. I wanted you when I met you. Call it hormones, or chemistry, but I can honestly say now that I respect you, I want you so much more.” Gage chuckled softly. “I didn’t believe that was even possible but it is.”
“Then we’re good? You…you’re okay with everything?”
“Baby, you’ve saved lives with your skill and I’m sorry I made you feel bad about it for even one second. What you are is a miracle,” he said softly. “To be who you are after what you’ve been through. I’m in awe of you.”
He paused and lowered his voice to a whisper. “You still do it don’t you?”
Well, shit.
“I…”
Gage smiled softly at her. “You don’t have to say anymore. I would rather you not say anything than lie to me.”
Her heart sunk. She wished she could tell him, but it wasn’t only her secret to tell. Safety was paramount for the members of IAD and until she knew Gage better, she couldn’t trust him with
the lives of her colleagues, even if she trusted him with her own. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. You’ve given me enough for now to help me understand you and who you are. I can wait for you to tell me more. I’m not going anywhere, and sooner or later you will trust me enough to tell me more.”
“It’s not that I don’t trust you…it’s just that it isn’t only my secret to tell.”
“Shh. I can wait. We’ve made it through our fifth fight and we’re together. We’re good.”
She had to laugh at that. “Our fifth? Is that all? I could have swore this was more like our sixth or seventh.” She sobered. “Thank you for being patient with me. I…it means a lot that you’re willing to wait.”
“Patience isn’t something I’m usually good at. I’m willing to wait…for you. But eventually I’ll want to know everything. If you can promise me that then I’m cool with waiting, for now.”
She paused for a moment to study him then slowly nodded her head.
“Now, besides being a ninja is there anything else you want to tell me? Good, now onto the makeup portion of this program.” He pulled her close and cut off her laughter in a kiss so sweet she felt seduced the moment their lips met.
Here was comfort.
Here was acceptance.
She could see the hunger in his eyes. He now knew what she was, what she came from and yet he still wanted her. Nothing could have made that moment more perfect.
Gage kept his brilliant green eyes open so she watched him back as they continued to worship each other’s lips. It was like he was looking into her very soul. They rubbed against each other softly in a gesture of such tenderness that Mikayla couldn’t stop the tear that trickled down her cheek.
“God, don’t. Baby, please don’t cry. It kills me to see you cry,” Gage said as he licked away the salty evidence of her emotions.
“I’m not,” she lied.
“What is it, baby? Tell me what’s wrong.”
“You see me. You really see me,” she whispered.
Gage pulled her so she was straddling his lap. His arms wound around her, holding her close to him. He breathed her scent deep into his lungs as he buried his face into the crook of her neck, seeking to be closer to her. Gage was a tough man, but nothing brought him to his knees faster than a strong woman’s tears. Especially his woman.
And that was exactly what Mikayla was.
His.
He rocked her slowly on his lap, reveling at the way her breath hitched. She wasn’t the only one affected. He was acutely aware of the heat of her pussy sitting right on top of the rigid column of his erection. Christ, he was so hard he could practically swear he’d be wearing an impression of the zipper on his cock for days.
He told hold of her head in his hands, simply staring into her violet eyes in silence. She was so fucking beautiful it was difficult to breathe sometimes when he got lost in those witchy eyes of hers.
“I have to have you.” Gage wanted to wince at the longing he heard in his own deep voice, but her answering smile was worth it.
“Then have me,” Mikayla whispered. She moved forward to kiss him again. She gave him a questioning look when he stopped her.
“Not here. This time I want to love you on a bed. No more closets or moving vehicles.”
She laughed softly. “But I loved being with you there. I’ll love being with you in my bed, too.”
With a casual display of strength he stood with her still in his arms. She wrapped those long, gorgeous legs around his waist, holding onto him. He carried her down the hallway toward her bedroom. Soft, pale light filtered into the room through the windows, creating a gray background for them to see each other. The first time he had her in his truck he had been distracted by the need to keep her alive. The second time had been in the dim light from a single bulb that had been in the closet.
Apprehension filled him as he realized this would be the first time that she would see him naked. He knew he was a vain man and the scars that still graced his body had made being intimate with women difficult for him. But he would risk it. He could do nothing less for Mikayla when she had emotionally stripped herself bare for him.
Gage set her down on the bed and took a step back. The rich bronze tone of the duvet enhanced her golden complexion so it seemed like she was glowing.
“You’re so fucking beautiful.”
A surprised laugh left Mikayla. Her smile faded as she took in the seriousness that practically radiated from him in waves. Had he changed his mind about her? Reaching out, she took his hand. “What is it, Gage?”
“I have burn scars.” The words seemed to burst out against his will.
Everything in her melted. The apprehension she had sensed wasn’t about her at all. It was about him and his fear of letting her see him. All of him. She wasn’t the only one with issues to deal with.
“I have scars, too,” Mikayla whispered. “I think of mine as badges of honor. I’m grateful for every single one because it means that I survived. Just like you did.”
She watched his throat work as he swallowed before jerking his navy-blue shirt over his head, baring his torso to her gaze. Mikayla’s eyes roamed over him, taking in every inch of his muscular body. The man was certainly built. He had strong shoulders and sculpted six-pack abs that made her ache to touch. There was a light sprinkle of dark hair on his chest that trailed down and disappeared below his jeans.
Her eyes scanned over the burn scars that covered the left side of his body. There was a light web of discolored flesh that had healed over time, aided by countless surgeries, but she could tell by the extent of the ridges that they must have been extremely painful at the time he got them.
Gage had stayed still and silent through her perusal of his body. She noted that his hands remained fisted at his side, his body tight as if braced for a blow. It hurt her heart that this proud man doubted his appeal. The scars did nothing to detract from his looks. In fact, the scars on his body only seemed to enhance his beauty. Without them he would have been too gorgeous to be real. But to her, he was still perfection.
Mikayla slowly scooted to the edge of the bed so he was standing between her legs. She raised a hand to brush fingers lightly over the burn scars and felt him shudder at her touch. She let her gaze raise to meet his and let him see exactly what she was feeling.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” she whispered, repeating his words back to him.
“Fuck,” Gage groaned. He fell to his knees and wrapped his arms around her waist, burying his head into her to hide his face. “Give me a minute before I make a fool of myself.”
“Take all the time you need.”
She held him and stroked a hand though his thick hair, soothing him as she gave him time. He pulled back and looked up at her.
“You fucking undo me, Mikayla. The way you look at me, it’s like you don’t see my flaws.”
“They’re not flaws, Gage. Not to me,” she replied and pressed her lips to his. The light kiss heated and deepened. She pulled back. “Stand up for me. Let me show you.”
She waited until he was standing before her again then her hands reached down and popped the button of his jeans and yanked down the zipper so his rock-hard cock sprang free. She made a happy humming noise in her throat and pushed the jeans down over his hips so they pooled down at his ankles. He toed his shoes off then kicked the jeans off, leaving him standing before her completely bare, both physically and emotionally.
His cock jutted out proudly, pointing at her as a drop of pre-cum leaked from the tip. She loved the long, thick column, remembering the pleasure it brought her. She reached out and took him in her hand, watching his reaction as she began to slide her hand up and down the length of him. Heat pooled between her thighs as his nostrils flared and his eyes darkened with lust.
“Fuck, baby. That feels so good.”
She rubbed her finger into the silky liquid at the head of his cock and brought her finger up to her lips to taste the evidence of his desir
e for her.
“God, that’s hot.”
His gruff tone did something to her. She kept her eyes on his as she leaned forward and licked at the head of his cock and was rewarded when a low groan escaped him.
“You liked that?”
“Hell yes.”
“Good. Then you’ll love this.” Without warning Mikayla leaned down, engulfing the head of his cock into her mouth, sucking hard.
“Fuck!” Gage’s head snapped back, the corded muscles of his neck straining as he broke out into a sweat. He buried his hands into her dark curls as she worked her mouth over his growing erection. She relaxed and slid down his shaft, taking him to the back of her throat, pulling back only to do it again, each time taking more of his cock inside of her mouth.
She hummed with pleasure, savoring the taste of him as she flicked her tongue over the mushroomed head of his cock, lapping at the liquid seeping out of the tip. She watched him from beneath her lashes as he lowered his head to stare back down at her.
“God, that’s good. That’s right, baby, open that pretty little mouth for me. Suck my cock. Do you see how hard you make me? Yeah, just like that.”
He started rocking his hips, fucking his cock deeper into her mouth. His shaft got thicker as she continued to work her mouth over him. Her lips stretched wide to take him in, and she had to work to pull his cock away from his stomach as he hardened even more from her efforts.
Mikayla braced her hands on his hips pulling him harder toward her so he slid even deeper. She loved watching the pleasure on his face and smirked as much as she could with her lips wrapped around his thick shaft. Ready to blow his mind, she tilted her head back at the perfect angle and jerked her head down, forcing his cock into her throat.
He let out a strangled groan. “You’re deep-throating me. Fuck, your throat is like a tight fist. I’m gonna come if you do that.”
She pulled back, letting go of him so his cock slapped against his tight abs. “Do it. Come in my mouth. I want to taste you.” She pulled his cock back toward her and took him to her throat again. She worked him faster, using her hand to roll his balls gently in her grasp.