by Claire Adams
Abby turned around so that she was facing me. “My mommy didn’t like you?”
“She didn’t,” I said.
“Then she’s not my mommy,” Abby decided. I bit the inside of my cheek.
“You don’t have to say that, honey,” I said.
Abby squished my hand in between her hands. “But I love you, Daddy, and if my mommy didn’t like you, then she’s stupid. Anyone who doesn’t like you is stupid.”
I chuckled and moved her hands onto the bed. “Thanks, baby. That means a lot.”
And it did, I realized as Abby fell asleep. At least I’d always have Abby, a daughter who didn’t seem to give her biological mom a second thought and would love me unconditionally. It made me feel so much better, but as I glanced at my phone on the table, I realized that despite what Abby said, I was still going to have to fix things with Everly. I only hoped she would let me.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Everly
I woke up wanting to fall back asleep forever. I couldn’t even force myself to get out of bed if I wanted to. The constant thoughts of “what now” kept me in a severe case of self-doubt until I convinced myself that as long as I stayed in this bed, nothing bad would happen and I wouldn’t have to make any decisions.
So, I covered my head with a pillow, turned off my phone, and tried to stop thinking about gray eyes and a charming smile. It was useless, of course, and all thoughts of Maddox eventually turned into thoughts of Abby, and that painting.
But thinking about Maddox affected me in more than one way. His touches, caresses, his voice as he moaned into my ear from behind. It had only been little over a day since I last felt him inside of me, and it was like there was a hole that needed to be filled. My body desired his in such a way that I’ve never experienced, and I wasn’t even sure if it was healthy. I’ve never felt like this before. Was I supposed to touch myself while thinking of only him? Was it okay to imagine his lips as they ran down my body, his tongue as it slipped in between my thighs? I squirmed in bed as my hands slowly moved toward my breasts.
I stopped myself. This was crazy! I’ve ignored the man for 12 hours, and now I was fantasizing about him? What was wrong with me?
Someone knocked on my front door, and I curled deeper into my bed. There was approximately zero percent chance that I would be leaving this bed.
The door opened and closed and I groaned as Belle and Lacey entered my apartment. They spoke loudly with one another, clearly not realizing that I was currently sulking in the corner of my bed.
My bedroom door opened.
“Oh, Everly,” Lacey said as she saw the distressed state my room was in. I’d had plenty to drink the night before, and no doubt she saw the empty bottles of liquor on my kitchen counter as she walked in. In my drunken stupor, I had accidentally knocked over two shelves in my room, and I hadn’t planned on cleaning them up until all of my angst was out of my system. I peeked one eye out of the covers and looked at the fallen shelves with potted plants and soil littering the ground. Maybe waiting to clean had been a mistake. “Everly, what happened?”
Belle slipped beneath the covers and placed her head on the other side of my pillow. I made room as Lacey slid in on the other side, and soon I was surrounded by sisterly love that was already beginning to make me feel better. I turned to face Lacey.
“Before you left for kindergarten yesterday, Belle said I might have a kid that she can play with,” I said. Lacey understood immediately but gestured behind me. I realized my mistake. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Belle,” I said quickly. “Your words just made me think a lot, okay? You didn’t say anything bad.”
“I’m sorry,” Belle still apologized, and I felt as if someone chipped my heart. I never once wanted Belle to blame herself. “I was just excited.”
“I know, sweetie. I just hadn’t thought of it before, until you mentioned it. And it made me think a lot,” I said.
“And then?” Lacey asked. I turned back toward her.
“Well, I went over to make dinner. Maddox’s friend came over with Abby, and she showed me a painting of me, Maddox, and her as a happy family. I was her mom in the picture, Lace. She couldn’t have made it any more obvious. What Belle said, and then the painting, it was just too much.” I covered my face with my hands and closed my eyes. “I couldn’t take it anymore; I just ran off.”
“Abby is just a child,” Lacey said. “She didn’t mean anything by that, you know? When Belle was her age, she was constantly asking about her father, and if she would ever have one. It’s just something kids of single parents do.”
“Even though they’ve only met the person a few times? I don’t know anything about Abby, and she doesn’t know anything about me, and already she wants me to fill in the most important role in her life. That can’t be normal,” I said. Lacey shook her head.
“All she knows is that she loves her dad, and her dad seems to really like you, so of course she’s going to love you,” Lacey said, and I frowned.
“Why are you defending the situation for Maddox?” I asked and then shook my head. “Never mind, I know why. You’ve always wanted me to change my mind and have kids so I would know what it was like for you.”
Lacey rolled her eyes. “Sure, it would be nice to have my own niece and someone to grow up with Belle, but Everly, really? I’m on your side, no matter what. But this is the first time I’ve ever seen you so distraught over something that can be fixed through honest communication. Not to mention, this is the first time I’ve ever seen you even interested in a man. For a while there, I wasn’t even sure if there would ever be a man in your life.”
I considered her words. “Really?”
“Yes, really. You’re acting like a damn teenager. And I know you’re afraid to do anything because of the shit luck our family has had with men, but you’re not doomed to follow our path, Everly. Not every relationship fails; some are meant to be. And the ones that are meant to be can seem harder than others, because they’re the most worth it.”
“Don’t be sad,” Belle said behind me. “You like him, and he likes you.”
I blinked away tears as Lacey and Belle left the bed. Their words meant more to me than they could imagine, but it didn’t make the situation better. I already knew all of that anyway, and it hadn’t helped me yet.
“I’ll make breakfast,” I said. I forced myself to my feet and headed into the kitchen to start some omelet muffins. I served them up shortly after, and we ate them while watching the news and listening to Belle’s current preschool project. I wondered if Abby was ever enrolled in any type of school and if Maddox had to put up with the same things. After another hour of idle chatter, we said our goodbyes and they left me alone again to drown myself in my sorrows.
I didn’t feel comfortable talking to Maddox just yet, and I was positive that the lack of communication was enough for me to lose my job. I had the rest of the day to do anything I wanted, maybe go job hunting again or call Phil. I picked up my phone with the intent to call Phil and was surprised when it began ringing in my hand.
Maddox’s name and number were on the screen, calling me. My thumb floated above the Answer button. Was he calling to apologize? Should I apologize? I wasn’t ready to hear his voice, so I hit Decline.
Still, I decided to maybe consider my options for the day, and call Phil tomorrow. For some reason, it didn’t seem right talking to him about another job before I had a chance, or the courage, to talk to Maddox.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Maddox
Three full days of zero contact with Everly, and I was going crazy. If she would just answer her phone, or send a simple text, I’d feel better. Maybe I just missed her voice, and her laugh.
The last three days of work had felt like three years. Jackie was up my ass constantly about the new dish, how they needed promotional pictures and an official name and ingredient list. I told her I was almost done with it and reminded her that I was her boss, not the other way around, but she had given
me a pensive look and walked away. I apologized to her afterward for my words, saying that it was a bad week and that I appreciated everything she did for the restaurants. She said thanks, and reminded me to get the ingredient list to her by the end of the week. I had wanted to create the dish alongside Everly, but it didn’t seem as if that was going to happen anymore, and I ended up making the dish by myself. We were officially launching it later in the day, and I was sad that Everly wasn’t there to see it.
I wasn’t sure what was happening between us at all. She hadn’t cooked dinner for three nights, and it didn’t seem like she was going to visit Friday night, either. I wondered if she had taken up another job, and if she did, how much of a pay cut she had taken just to avoid seeing me. The notion of that really stung.
I got ready for the day long after waking and checked in on Abby. She was sleeping soundly in her room, a sight that I wasn’t quite used to. I quietly walked to the kitchen and started breakfast, and soon the house was filled with the warm scent of cinnamon and apple waffles and sausages.
Abby came downstairs at the exact time I expected her, as soon as I was done setting breakfast on the table.
“Smells good, Daddy,” she mumbled and sat at the head of the table. I pushed her chair forward so she could reach her plate.
“Thanks, baby,” I said taking my seat. I unfolded a napkin and placed it in front of her, then I lay one across my lap. I cut my waffles and dragged a forkful through the cinnamon and apple sauce before stuffing the large bite into my mouth. Abby glanced at me.
“Are you feeling better?” she asked. She realized earlier in the week that I wasn’t in a good mood, but I couldn’t tell her that Everly had ghosted me, so I told her I was sick. Still, a part of me felt that Abby knew there was something wrong; I just didn’t want to talk about it with her.
“A little, yeah,” I said. “I’ll be okay though, don’t worry. I just have a busy couple of weeks at the restaurants, and there’s talk of another possible location for a new restaurant. I just haven’t had the chance to think about it.”
Abby nodded as if she understood every word. It was one of the many reasons why I adored her.
“Is Everly better?” Abby asked. I sat my fork on the plate and absentmindedly stabbed the sausages with a knife.
“A little,” I said. I hated lying to her, but this wasn’t an appropriate topic for a toddler. The minutes stretched out in silence as we ate, and she soon pushed her plate forward, a half-eaten waffle lay lonely on the plate. “Are you finished?” I asked. Abby stuffed one more piece of waffle in her mouth before nodding. “Go get dressed and brush your teeth so we can go to Uncle Nick’s, okay?”
“Okay, Daddy,” she said and hopped off the chair. She left toward the stairs, and 15 minutes later returned with a minty smile and a summer blue dress that made her eyes pop much brighter. I patted her head and gave her a Ziploc bag of waffles and sausages. “Your Uncle Nick would starve without us,” I said, and she giggled.
We arrived at Nick’s shortly afterward. Abby threw the bag of waffles in his arms and retreated to the living room, where a new empty canvas waited.
“She wanted to start a new one immediately,” Nick said as we watched her pick out her colors. “She wants to give this one to Everly.” Nick’s tone didn’t hide his distaste for Everly or what had happened. “Have you talked to her since then?”
“No,” I shook my head. “She hasn’t answered her phone once, and she isn’t texting me. I think I really screwed this one up.”
Nick shoved his hands in his pockets. “I don’t know what to say, man. I mean, you didn’t screw anything up. It was bound to happen. Abby asked me the other week what do moms and daughters do.”
“She did? Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked.
“It seemed like an innocent question; I don’t know. I figured she was just curious,” he said. Nick’s expression was enough to know that he wanted more than anything to say he told me so, but it seemed he was trying to take the high road.
“I don’t know what to do.” I rubbed a hand over my head. “I’m thinking maybe I should just leave her be.” Just saying the words stabbed a knife through my heart. I didn’t know how I was going to get over her.
“How much does she mean to you?” Nick asked. I raised an eyebrow and looked at him. “I mean; does she really mean this much to you?”
I watched as Abby dipped her finger into paint and traced lines on the paper. Her eyebrows were furrowed in concentration. Nick had said her new painting was for Everly, and I wished more than anything Everly would be around for her to give it to her. Not just that, but I wished Everly would just answer the damn phone.
“Does that matter?” I asked. “However I feel about her, it doesn’t change what happened or what she wants. Maybe this is too much for her.”
“You’ll never know unless you try,” Nick said. “Listen, if she really means that much to you, then you need to go try and get her back. Talk to her, explain that Abby is three, for Christ’s sake and that 3-year-olds don’t understand what they’re doing. Tell her you’re not just looking for a baby mama; you’re looking for your soulmate.”
“You’re damn poetic today,” I said. Nick chuckled and shook his head. “I’ll think about it, but I don’t know if she’ll even want to see me.”
“Just try, man,” Nick said. “See what happens. You’ll regret it if you don’t.”
I said goodbye to Nick and Abby and then walked out to my car. My phone chimed, and I unlocked it to see Jackie calling me. I groaned, opening the car door, and then threw it onto the passenger seat.
Of course, Everly wasn’t calling me. She hadn’t so far, and I was certain she didn't want to see me either. I was a fool for hoping otherwise.
I arrived at Alaskan Way not long after, and entered through the front. Bright, cheerful smiles greeted me as I walked through the restaurant. I made my rounds from table to table and introduced myself to the guests, forcing a smile on my face each time I saw someone eating our newest dish.
“You couldn’t have ordered a better entrée,” I said to one in particular. “We just launched it today; what do you think?” I asked another.
“It’s delicious,” they answered. “I’ve never had anything like it.”
“Great, thanks for coming,” I patted their shoulder and moved on to the next table. This was usually my favorite part, greeting guests and introducing myself as the restaurant’s owner. Every now and then I’d find a table or two to comp or a couple to send an extra special dessert to, but today, I just wasn’t feeling it.
“Maddox!” James, an older chef who had been working for me for years now, perked up as I entered the kitchen. Bright white walls with silver appliances lined the floor, and at least two dozen cooks rushed from section to section as they prepared meals and plated entrees.
“Hey, Jim, how’s the day going?” I asked. He shook my hand and gestured at the five plates of our new dish waiting to be sent out to the floor.
“It’s a hit, Maddox. Everyone loves it.” He clapped his hand on my shoulder.
“Congratulations on the new dish!” another cook said from behind us. I thanked her politely and said my goodbyes to Jim. Everywhere I went I received compliments on the sea bass, but I found myself going through the motions until I finally arrived at my office. I was grateful for all of the kind words, of course, but I just couldn’t keep Everly out of my head.
My phone was on the highest volume, and it still hadn’t gone off. I was hopeful that she’d call and suggest a new meal for tonight, but the longer the day stretched, the worse the odds became. I sat down at my desk and worked on some files to kill the time and attempted to forget about Everly, but it was useless. She was on my mind as if she’d been surgically implanted, and there was no hope for a reversal. Only time could heal me now unless I gave in and went to her.
After a few hours of mindless work, I did another round on the floor and shook hands with guests. The sea bass was an even bigge
r hit with the dinner crowd than it had been with the lunch rush, and already I knew our numbers were going to skyrocket. I thanked a man and his wife as they declared the entree their new favorite from my restaurant, but in my head, I was just wishing that Everly could hear how much everyone loved her creation.
She deserved all the credit, not me.
I returned to my office and sat. My feet and legs were sore from walking around for hours, and I pulled out another folder and tried paying attention to the contracts that Jackie had been begging me to sign for weeks. The words blurred until they made little sense, and I tried to focus. Getting any decent amount of work done was proving to be a problem.
“Mr. Moore?” Clarissa, one of my assistants, stood at the doorway.
“Yes?” I glanced at her and back at the file. I needed to get something done before leaving for the day.
“You have a visitor,” she said. I perked up, a part of me hoping and believing it was Everly.
“Oh? Who?” I asked.
“He said he used to work with you?” She moved over, and another man came into focus.
“You don’t have to introduce me,” he said. I recognized him instantly: Phil, my old friend, and Everly’s old boss. I waved off Clarissa and invited Phil into my office.
“You can shut the door behind you if you want,” I said.
“Oh, I’m not staying that long,” Phil said. “I was just in the neighborhood and wanted to see how you were doing? I haven’t been to this one since you opened.”
I remembered seeing Phil at Alaskan Way’s opening party, a beer in each hand and women curved in his arms.
“A night to remember,” I smirked. “I’m doing fine; we just launched a new dish today, so numbers should be up for a while. What about you?” I asked. “How’s Saint Padres?”
He tugged at his collar. “The damn place is sucking the life out of me,” he said.
“So, nothing’s changed?” I said with a smirk. Phil chuckled, and I realized he’d had one too many glasses of wine as he stumbled over his words.