by Claire Adams
Swimming had always been a love of mine, and I had been so worried that I would fear water after what had happened before I arrived at treatment. But I was lucky that I didn’t remember much of that night and most of my fears were compartmentalized to my dreams. It probably helped that when we swam at Paradise Peak, there was always a staff member around and I didn’t have to worry about drowning. Although, simply being sober while I was in the pool probably was the easiest way I could avoid drowning.
“Hey, Kaitlin, I was told I’d be able to swim a little. How is that going to work?”
“Cassidy will take you out. Let her finish rounding with the other patients and you guys can head out there in fifteen minutes or so.”
A smile flashed across my face. I was going to be alone with Cassidy in the heated swimming pool. My bad behavior genes rushed through me as I thought about all the naughty things the two of us could do together if we were alone.
Then my practical side took over, and I remembered that I was trying to behave myself so she wouldn’t get in trouble at work. It was funny how much I had grown even in the female department. When I was back at home, I couldn’t remember ever thinking about the consequences of having sex with a woman.
I used a condom and that was all I cared about. When a girl had a broken heart or got angry when I asked her to leave, I really didn’t have any emotion about it at all. It was just how I was, and I cringed as I remembered my old ways. I had been an absolute jerk and there was no way around it. I couldn’t defend my past behavior whatsoever. Nothing about how I treated women was how a respectable man should act.
Respect seemed to be a new theme in my conscious thought. I wanted my family to respect me. I wanted my business partner to respect me. Hell, I even wanted Cassidy to respect me. I felt like an actual adult as I worked to rebuild all the relationships from my past and possibly the ones of my future.
Fifteen minutes went by, then thirty. I had started to think that Cassidy didn’t want to be alone with me in a pool.
“How did you manage this one?” she asked as she stood in my open doorway with her plain, red swimsuit on and a towel wrapped around her.
“Hey, I’m innocent here. I just wanted to go for a swim.”
“All right, let’s get this over with,” she teased as she motioned for me to follow her. “The torture of my job is real.”
“You did have a woman almost die in your arms the other day. I think you deserve a fun day of swimming to make up for it. How long do we have?”
“As long as we want, I guess. Nothing really going on until the night shift arrives at dinner time.”
“Oh, as long as we want,” I said and winked at her.
I couldn’t help it. When she was near me, my body was in sexual overdrive and all I could think about was her body. I seriously didn’t want to flirt with her like I was, but I couldn’t stop myself. I wanted to leave her alone and let her do her job, but she had my whole body feeling energized and I reverted back to my old flirting ways…at least a little bit back to those ways.
“No funny business, mister.”
“I’ll be super serious then.” I laughed.
The truth was I was going to swim in the pool and enjoy the water. No matter what crazy urges I had, I couldn’t follow them. If she was in the shallow end, I’d go to the deep end. If Cassidy got into the hot tub, I’d get out of the hot tub. Distance was my friend. I planned to keep as much of it between the two of us as possible.
“So, you still didn’t decide to go home for the holiday?” she asked jokingly.
“I was thinking of calling my friend Spencer, but it’s too late now. I think I was just afraid I’d mess up while I was outside of this place. It’s weird, I’m starting to feel very comfortable here.”
“It’s normal. Treatment is like a second home. You know there’s no drugs or alcohol, so it’s easy to stay sober. Trust me, though, it’s hard as hell to stay sober outside of here. I went dancing with Kaitlin last night and almost cried I wanted to drink so badly.”
“Shit, that is so discouraging.”
“I don’t say it to scare you. It’s just the truth. And try dancing while you’re sober.” Her eyes got big and dramatic. “I’m the worst dancer I’ve ever seen. I couldn’t believe I had actually danced in front of people while drunk before.”
“What are you doing for Christmas?” I ventured to ask as I slid into the pool and walked away from her.
“Just home with my mom and dad. It will be pretty quiet. Christmas movies, hot cocoa, one present opened tonight and the rest tomorrow. My parents still go a little overboard with the presents. Sometimes I think they forget I’m an adult now.”
It sounded perfect. I could picture her and her parents sitting around a warm fire, drinking their chocolaty drink and watching movies. I hadn’t had a good Christmas since my mother was alive.
My heart sank at the idea that I would never get that sort of Christmas again. Someday, I hoped to have my own family and my own Christmas traditions, but until that time came, I would just have to deal with the loneliness of the season.
“Sounds like postcard perfection.”
“Do you want to come?” she asked as she walked across the pool toward me.
“What?” I asked, actually wondering if I had heard her right.
Did Cassidy just ask me to go to her family’s house for Christmas? I couldn’t have heard that correctly. Or maybe she was joking. I wanted to go. It sounded like the perfect way to spend Christmas, but I didn’t want to intrude on her family time. I didn’t want to be that awkward stray guy who she brought home who made her family get angry with her.
“I asked if you wanted to come? I’ve brought random people home with me before. I’m a sucker for someone who doesn’t have a place to stay on Christmas. It’s one of my favorite times. I’ll just tell them you’re a sober friend from my AA meeting and you didn’t have a place to go. It will be fine.”
I was actually considering her offer. More than just considering it, I wanted to say yes. And strangely enough, it wasn’t because I wanted to sleep with her. Throughout my time at treatment, I had really started to miss my own mother. I missed the happiness she brought into my life and I longed to find that again somehow.
The way Cassidy had described her Christmas drew me in, and before I knew it, I had replied.
“Yes, I’ll go with you.”
Even Cassidy seemed a little shocked that I had replied yes to her. She had probably just made the offer as a gesture of kindness and hadn’t really expected that I would be game for it.
“I’ll email Mr. March and let him know you found someone to hang out with and won’t be here.”
“He’s going to be okay with me going home with you?” I asked a little surprised.
“Oh no, I’m not telling him that part.”
“I don’t want you to get into trouble. I just said yes because I’d love to see what a real Christmas is like again. I haven’t had it in so long.”
“It will be fine. You can take a cab to my place and no one needs to know. Plus, there’s no alcohol in my house, so it’s a safe place to stay and it will give you a fresh perspective on your treatment.”
“So, just to clarify, you are in love with me,” I jokingly exclaimed.
“No!” She laughed and started to chase after me in the pool. “You came in the middle of the conversation. I was making a sarcastic remark.”
“About loving me?” I teased as I swam faster.
“Oh my gosh. I don’t love you. I don’t even know if I like you.”
I stopped dead in my tracks as she came up behind me and tried to push me under the water. Her hands pressed on my shoulders as she pushed her own body out of the water and tried to get me to go under. But her tiny little frame was no match for me, and in one swift motion, I grabbed her around the waist and thrust her under the water.
Quickly, I pulled her back up though, and held my arms around her as she wiped the water from her face. Mess
ing around with her in the pool was fun. It felt like we were old friends just having a blast and hanging out.
“I’m the pool wrestling king back home.” I laughed.
“Oh, you’re going to pay for that.”
Her tone was serious, and as I looked at the expression on her face, I got a little worried that she was mad at me. But then she wrapped her legs around my waist and grabbed my head and successfully pulled me under the water.
Cassidy’s legs were wrapped around me still, and I pulled her under the water with me. Our bodies touched in so many places that I wasn’t sure where mine started and hers ended. My hands grabbed for her ass and I let my fingertips lightly move up and down the seam of her swimsuit. Oh, how I wanted to slide them under that fabric and feel her wet center. It took every bit of my self-control not to touch her longer, deeper, and in more places.
We both thrust our bodies back up and out of the water. My hands stayed wrapped around her ass and her legs held onto my torso. Our eyes locked onto one another and for a long minute, we didn’t move.
Cassidy saw me. She saw through the jerk that I was when I first arrived. She saw through my bullshit, and even though she didn’t know all that much about me, I still felt like she knew me. It was indescribable how I felt so close to a woman who I hardly knew.
Cassidy leaned in close to my earlobe and I thought she was going to kiss my neck like I had kissed hers. I didn’t pull away. If she was going to make a move, I wouldn’t deny her. I wanted her, and I was only holding back because I didn’t want to cause her trouble. If she wanted me, hell, I was totally game.
Her breath was on my skin, and I prepared myself to feel the touch of her lips on me. She could do absolutely anything she wanted to do to me and I’d be fine with it. I hadn’t had a woman in weeks, and my body felt like it was going to explode. Her lips were so close to me that I felt myself urging them to move closer and closer. I wanted her. I wanted this to happen.
“You should probably let go of my ass,” she whispered as her thighs loosened and she pulled herself away from me.
Reluctantly, I released her from my grip. Nothing about it had been what I wanted to do. If it had been up to me, we would have been making love on one of the pool chairs by that point.
“Your ass was in my hands. I couldn’t help it.”
“So, you’re coming to my house to meet my family. But you’re sleeping on the couch and there will be no funny business. Do you understand?” she asked firmly as she took two steps away from me.
“Yes, ma’am,” I said with a fun salute.
“I’m serious. My father is a great guy, but if he thinks we are messing around, he’ll shoot you.”
My eyes widened as I lost about three shades of pigment in my skin. I didn’t want to get shot, and I clearly wasn’t able to control myself around Cassidy. Maybe I shouldn’t be going over to her family’s house. Angry fathers weren’t really something I was good at dealing with. Now mothers, on the other hand, I was really good at dealing with. Mothers loved me.
I had not had the chance to meet many girls’ families over the years, not since high school at least. One-night stands weren’t really conducive to meeting the parents. Suddenly, I worried that I would say or do something wrong if I did meet them. Certainly, she was joking about getting shot, but what else might he do if he didn’t like me?
“Um….”
“I’m kidding. He’s a pushover. Don’t worry. His bark is worse than his bite.”
“He barks and bites?” I asked jokingly.
“You’ll be fine. Bring a present for them, it will help. I always buy them horrible things. It’s sort of a running joke between us that I’m the worst Christmas shopper ever.”
“You buy your parents bad gifts on purpose?”
“Yeah, you know, like ugly sweaters and stuff like that. The funny thing is it all started with me buying them matching jogging suits that I actually thought they would like.”
“What do your parents do for work?” I asked as we both took a seat on the stairs and stayed a few feet away from one another. “I’m sorry if you told me before, but I don’t remember.”
“They run a ski resort in town here.”
“That’s pretty cool.”
“Yeah, growing up I always had free skiing. But they want me to work with them, and I’ve never really been that into skiing. I always just wipe out and hurt myself.”
“I understand.”
Being part of the family business was certainly something that I understood. It wasn’t for Cassidy and it wasn’t for me. We were free thinkers who had our own paths to follow.
“Should we try out the hot tub?”
“Sure,” I replied with zero self-control to deny her.
BILLIONAIRE IN REHAB PART III
Chapter Thirteen
Cassidy
I had given up on avoiding Erik. There was no use. I couldn’t avoid him, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to anymore. As we climbed into the hot tub, it felt more like we were on a date than he was in a treatment center.
He sat on the other side of the hot tub from me, and I appreciated him giving me the space. When I invited him to come home with me for Christmas, it was out of pity. He had a sad look on his face when I told him about my family, and I had always been a sucker for puppy dog eyes.
My family enjoyed Christmas, and I was happy to bring anyone home with me if they could have an enjoyable day with us. Over the years, I had brought home some shady characters; my family really was used to dealing with my invites and the randomness of who would walk through the doors.
But I still wasn’t planning on letting my family find out that Erik was really a patient at the Paradise Peak. It was wrong, and I knew it. Well, to be exact, I hadn’t specifically heard that we weren’t allowed to bring patients home for Christmas. So, technically, I could claim ignorance if it was ever brought up at work.
“It’s quiet around here, though, I like it,” Erik said as he closed his eyes and looked up at the stars.
“I know. It’s weird how peaceful it seems here, yet just over that hill there are thousands of people squeezing in a family skiing vacation with their holiday.”
“You and your family have lived here your whole life?”
“Well, my family has. I tried living other places while I was drinking. I always ended up back at home when some random alcoholic boyfriend would leave me stranded someplace.”
“I know you are being honest with your past and drinking, but I have to say, I just don’t see you as a drunk. Every time I look at you, I see you as working as a daycare worker or something else sweet like that.”
I burst into laughter at the idea I could ever work with children. Erik obviously didn’t know me all that well. I didn’t have patience for children; there was no way I could ever work with them. And, I certainly didn’t plan on having any of my own anytime soon. I had a hard enough time taking care of myself.
“It’s the tongue piercing, isn’t it? All those daycare workers have tongue piercings,” I joked.
“That piercing is really hot,” he said as he lifted his head and looked over at me.
I had just narrowly escaped his grip while we were in the pool, and I suspected I was going to have to fend him off again really soon. My defenses were weakening, though. His touch felt good. His skin against mine felt almost like we were meant for each other.
When he grabbed my ass, I didn’t pull away right away because it honestly didn’t bother me. Which was weird. Throughout my history as a dating woman, I never remembered feeling all that comfortable with men.
Sure, I enjoyed a good roll in the hay like anyone else. But I always felt like my body wasn’t good enough. I had an underlying narrative that told me they weren’t interested in me and didn’t like my body. Men never specifically said those things to me, yet I said them and felt them when I was with a guy.
Things were different with Erik. I felt different. When his hands had been on me, I didn’t think abou
t myself consciousness at all. I only thought about how much I wanted to kiss him.
Kissing Erik was quickly occupying my thoughts, and before I realized what was going on, he had slid across the hot tub and landed himself right next to me. My heart quickened with anticipation as I tried to contain my excitement. I wanted to feel his hand touch my leg. I practically willed it to happen as I looked over at him and then quickly away.
Erik Levy was damn hot.
I couldn’t help but adore his new, clean-shaven look. As I looked over again toward him, I saw that he was admiring me, as well. Although he kept a reasonable distance away from me, I felt the sexual power between us.
The grinding electricity of our two bodies in the warm chlorinated water filled the space between us. We wanted to touch. Both of us stopped the urge and controlled our own desires, but we wanted to touch each other.
I wanted to let my hand slide down into the water and feel the soft skin of his hard body. My imagination had my hand sliding into his swim shorts and pulling him out so I could play with him a little. Oh, how he would be so shocked if I just slid under the water and took his hardness in my mouth. Would he be able to keep from moaning out with pleasure? I didn’t think so.
Erik had been at the treatment facility for almost a month. Surely, his body was near explosion simply from the desire that had built up for the days he was celibate. I could be the first woman he was with as a sober man. He’d remember me always. Having sober sex after struggling with addiction was an erotic experience, and I wanted to be the one to share it with Erik.
There had been one man, right after my treatment, but he wasn’t a good lover at all. When my friends told me about their first sober sex experiences, I was greatly disappointed that mine had not been as fulfilling. I even broke up with the guy over it. Although, technically, I shouldn’t have been dating so close to getting out of treatment.
“Let me see your tongue piercing,” Erik said as he turned toward me.