by Lucy Ellmann
The following institutions have also helped me:
archive.org; B & H Dairy, New York; Bärenreiter Kassel, Basel; “Dear Prudence”, slate.com; the East Hampton Star; Edinburgh Central Library; Edinburgh Royal Infirmary; the farmers’ markets of Chicago; Folk Arts Museum, New York; The French Fancies, Edinburgh; the Guardian; The Hallmark, New York; Historic Scotland, Orkney; Japonica, New York; John’s Pizza, New York; Kelley & Ping, New York; Kent and Canterbury Hospital, Canterbury; literature.org; The Little Owl, New York; The Lyric Diner, New York; Louvre, Paris; luminarium.org; Metropolitan Museum, New York; Metropolitan Opera, New York; Museum of Modern Art, New York; Milady’s, New York; National Maritime Museum, Greenwich; the New York Times; Nobel Media Archive; the Orcadian; The Patio, Edinburgh; The Royal Literary Fund; The Scottish Poetry Library, Edinburgh; The 2nd Avenue Deli, New York; Sinclair Office Supplies, Stromness, Orkney; slate.com; Stromness Books and Prints, Orkney; Stromness Public Library, Orkney; Tankerness House, Kirkwall, Orkney; Thirsty Books; Union Square Market, New York; Victoria and Albert Museum, London; Western General Hospital, Edinburgh; Wikipedia; William Harvey Hospital, Ashford.
People and institutions that have hindered me:
It would be churlish to say.
Cats that have helped me:
Bartholomew, Bathsheba, Beanie, Bubbles (the original), Chuffy, Clodie, Delilah, Equal, Martini, Patch, Piccadilly, Ptolemy, Sam, Mr. Spock, Sushi, Tigger, Trilby.
Dogs that have helped me:
Pierre, Pepito, Taxi, Klara, Poppy, and Dan.
Other pets that have helped me:
Edward, Sesame, Ipsy-pee-dwain.
Stuff I stole:
References to “valentines” reflect the author’s own impressions and fantasies based on original works of art by Barbara Ellmann.
The source for the fictional sculpture (called here Bradbridge’s Widow, Wilson’s Wife) is a sculpture called Alluvia by Jason deCaires Taylor, positioned, as suggested in this novel, underwater in the River Stour, Canterbury.
Irv Schenkler was the originator of the “sex camp” idea.
Tam MacPhail said, “Don’t graduate. Individuate!”.
The recipe for Eggnog is based on Irma Rombauer’s in The Joy of Cooking, with modifications; and the recipe for Amatriciana is based on David Downie’s in Cooking the Roman Way.
No artist was harmed in the making of this book, but flagrant annexing of J. S. Bach, Giacomo Puccini, Eugène Delacroix, Emma Lazarus, W. B. Yeats, W. H. Auden, Ben Jonson, William Soutar, and various songs, did occur. War memorials, gravestones, newspapers, and films were also quoted.
The depiction of the “museum of folksiness” is not based on any actual folk arts museum in New York or elsewhere; it reflects the characters’ skepticism about crafts and textile arts, not the author’s.
And Matisse really did paint odalisques.
Finally, with love to Todd McEwen, a heroic man. “We take all the room we need in the sky.”
L.E., 11/11/11
The author and publishers express their thanks for permission to use images and excerpts from the following copyrighted material:
Suite V—BWV 1011, from Johann Sebastian Bach—Six Suites for violoncello solo. Edited by August Wenzinger, BA 320, pages 42–51. Scores reproduced by kind permission of © Bärenreiter-Verlag Karl Vötterle GmbH & Co. KG, Kassel.
The Yellow Ale from James Joyce by Richard Ellmann, 1959. Quoted by kind permission of Oxford University Press, Inc.
original artwork © Lucy Ellmann.
The Lake Isle of Innisfree by W. B. Yeats. Quoted by kind permission of A P Watt Ltd on behalf of Gráinne Yeats.
The Lanely Müne by William Soutar. Quoted by kind permission of the National Library of Scotland and The Soutar Fund (the copyright holders), from: Into a Room: Selected Poems of William Soutar, 2000, Argyll Publishing.
The B & H restaurant menu is reprinted here by kind permission of Fawzy Abdelwahed.
My Prizes by Thomas Bernhard, 2010. Quoted by kind permission of Random House, Inc.
W. H. Auden quote from W. H. Auden: A Tribute, Oliver Sacks (author), Stephen Spender (editor), 1974, 1975. Quoted by kind permission of The Orion Publishing Group, London. © George Weidenfeld and Nicolson Ltd.
Thinking About Women by © Mary Ellmann, 1968. Quoted by kind permission of Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company?. All rights reserved.
Joseph Brodsky’s Nobel Lecture, 1987. Quoted by kind permission of © The Nobel Foundation. Source: nobelprize.org.
An Autobiography by Igor Stravinsky, 1936. Quoted by kind permission of Oneworld Classics Ltd.
Guide to Presentations, 3rd Edition, by © Lynn Russell and Mary M. Munter, 2011. Quoted by kind permission of Pearson Education, Inc., Upper Saddle River, New Jersey.
The Wise Wound by Penelope Shuttle and Peter Redgrove, 1978. Quoted by kind permission of David Higham Associates/Marion Boyars, Victor Gollancz.
The Story of V by © Catherine Blackledge, 2003. Quoted by kind permission of Weidenfeld & Nicolson, a division of the Orion Publishing Group, London.
Quotations from Mary Daly, Antony Hegarty and Charlie Brooker were taken, with kind permission, from the Guardian newspaper, Guardian News & Media (2011). References to well-known speeches were inspired by Tom Clark’s series, ‘Great Speeches of the 20th Century’, Guardian, 2007.
The Language of the Goddess: Unearthing the Hidden Symbols of Western Civilization by © Marija Gimbutas, 1989. Quoted by kind permission of Thames & Hudson Ltd., London, and HarperCollins Publishers.
Blood Relations by Chris Knight, 1991. Quoted by kind permission of the author and Yale University Press.
Baba Yaga Laid an Egg by © Dubravka Ugrešic´, 2007. English translation of Part III copyright © 2009 by Mark Thompson. First published in Great Britain by Canongate Books Ltd, 14 High Street, Edinburgh, EH1 1TE. Quoted by kind permission of Canongate and Grove/Atlantic, Inc.
The Last Fighting Tommy by © Harry Patch, 2007. Quoted by kind permission of Bloomsbury Publishing plc.
Reclining Odalisque by Henri Matisse, 1923. Museum of Modern Art, New York, © Succession H. Matisse / DACS 2012.
Ich Habe Genug. Johann Sebastian Bach—Kantaten zu Marienfesten I—BWV 83, 82, 125, 200—Kantaten zu Mariae Reinigung—NBA, Serie I, Band 28, 1, BA 5084, page 77. Edited by Matthias Wendt and Uwe Wolf. Score reproduced by kind permission of © Bärenreiter-Verlag Karl Vötterle GmbH & Co. KG, Kassel.
Away from the Telephone by © Todd McEwen, DeliberatelyThirsty, Issue 7, August 2000, and Argyll Publishing. Todd McEwen granted permission to use his poem while he was in the shower.
Rubini in His Great Feat, Beheading a Lady! (1869.) © The British Library Board.
A NOTE ON THE AUTHOR
Born in Illinois, Lucy Ellmann was dragged to England as a teenager. Her first novel, Sweet Desserts, won the Guardian Fiction Prize. It was followed by Varying Degrees of Hopelessness, Man or Mango? A Lament, Dot in the Universe and Doctors & Nurses. She now lives in Edinburgh.
BY THE SAME AUTHOR
Sweet Desserts
Varying Degrees of Hopelessness
Man or Mango? A Lament
Dot in the Universe
Doctors & Nurses
READ MORE LUCY ELLMANN
Dot in the Universe
http://www.bloomsbury.com/us/dot-in-the-universe-9781596917781/
‘One of the funniest, most mordant and perfectly formed books I’ve read’ Ali Smith
Dot used to think she was perfect, with her pointy nose, pink skin and blonde hair. But now she lives on Abalone Avenue with a husband who chases women and swordfish. And she has a rather icky Fatal Flaw. And the universe doesn’t give a damn! So Dot decides to End It All. Will death be fast? Slow? EMBARRASING? But despite her valiant suicide by tea cosy followed by a jaunt to the morgue, Dot wakes up…
Doctors & Nurses
http://www.bloomsbury.com/us/doctors-nurses-9781596911024/
‘Reads like an unholy cross between Jane
Eyre and Slaughterhouse 5’ The Times
The tranquillity of a rural backwater - SHATTERED!
The ancient arts of medicine - EXPOSED!
Her darling cleft-chinned doctor - FORCED TO FIGHT FOR HIS LIFE!
It was a time of wiping. A time of bandaging. Of patients and their incessant needs. In a world where nurses never wash their hands, and doctors are the lowest of the low, one enormous nurse stands up for LOVE – a nurse that will make you fart with fear…
Copyright © 2013 by Lucy Ellmann
All rights reserved. You may not copy, distribute, transmit, reproduce, or otherwise make available this publication (or any part of it) in any form, or by any means (including without limitation electronic, digital, optical, mechanical, photocopying, printing, recording, or otherwise), without the prior written permission of the publisher. Any person who does any unauthorized act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.
Every reasonable effort has been made to trace copyright holders of material reproduced in this book, but if any have been inadvertently overlooked the publishers would be glad to hear from them. The author and publishers express their thanks for permission to use images and excerpts from the copyrighted material listed in the acknowledgments.
Published by Bloomsbury USA, New York
LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING-PUBLICATION DATA HAS BEEN APPLIED FOR.
eISBN: 978-1-62040-025-8
First U.S. Edition 2013
This electronic edition published in February 2013
www.bloomsbury.com