by Sylvia Plath
Love,
Sivvy
TO Aurelia Schober Plath
Tuesday 10 April 1951*
ALS (postcard), Indiana University
Tuesday night
Dear Mum . . . . .
If you get cards from me with frightening irregularity just put it up to a sudden access of papers and meetings. I will be working on that damn history paper till doomsday – but I’ll forget it for the three days when Dick is here. Speaking of that rather amazing blonde creature, your letter and his* arrived at the same time – so I sent his postcard telling him to come anyway and fear that I might have told him not to come if I hadn’t been sure he was just giving me a choice to be his usual thoughtful self. I really can’t see too much light ahead . . . because we’ve botany tests every week for the next two months, 2 eng papers, not to mention decorations for the prom . . . but I have to complain to someone, and I know that you will tell me I’ll live . . . . I envy you taking a walk with Dick, and yet seeing as I have his company for the next weekend, I shall only say “aren’t we females lucky”. Saw a brief Dali shock movie* – my one free act for the rest of the year. Keep my morale up!
Love,
Sivvy
P.S. Please send carbon of my application letter . . . I’ve got to re-send the Chatham deal to a new address
TO Aurelia Schober Plath
Thursday 12 April 1951*
ALS (postcard), Indiana University
Thursday
Dear Mother . . .
Barby Michelson and I are feeling quite proud of ourselves for having such illustrious advisors. Lisa just was elected one of the seven Junior Phi Beta’s and her roommate was elected our house president. It’s a lovely day out, and I’m glad I have tennis in the morning so I can spend at least one hour out of doors. I’m having my hair washed and set again this afternoon. I did a rather necessary thing & ordered a copy of that BOOK from the Hampshire bookshop,* for I fear I’ll be writing the paper next weekend, while the rest study for the exam. Oh, well, at least I’ll know what I’m writing about (I hope.) A friend and I had Mr. Madeira and his wife* over for supper last night – they are a lovely couple – and he’s a good old father, if not, another Mr. Crockett. Only he’s still giving me B’s. Keep well.
Love,
Sivvy
TO Aurelia Schober Plath
Sunday 15 April 1951*
ALS with envelope,
Indiana University
Dear Mother –
It is sunday night, and I have never been so exhausted! Seems so much easier to take Dick’s super-abundance of energy away from home. I suppose you are eager to know “what we did.” Well, before I fall onto my bier, I’ll give you an inkling.
Friday he came just before supper, so we went right over to Davis,* our student center & proceeded to talk until 10 about New York & Florida. By that time we got a hamburger & milk and took a long walk around part of Paradise. I meant to eat breakfast Saturday, but I was just going downtown to get some before he came, but he came, and talked to everybody including Mrs. Shakespeare . . . so we just had time to get to French. I did have lunch here with him, & then he & Marcia & I took off for Look Park* on bikes. We hiked up a brook for a few miles, crossed a bridge & came back opposite where our bikes were. So since it was late, Dick brightly said “We’ll wade across.”
I won’t be able to write for a week because of 2 papers & exams. So I’ll tell you I’m still on my two feet, and you’ll hear from me if I’m not.
Be good & don’t worry. I’ll live.
Love,
Sivvy
TO Aurelia Schober Plath
Wednesday 18 April 1951*
ALS with envelope,
Indiana University
Dear Mummy –
May I say I felt very guilty when you “thanked me in advance for the pleasant anticipation of a letter.” I fear my epistle was the product of little sleep and less optimism. When I consider that there are but 45 days left to my Freshman year in college, I feel frightened. At the same time that I wish the tension and exams were over, so do I realize that I am thus wishing my life away. And as I look ahead I see only an accelerated work-pattern until the day I drop into the grave. One encouraging thing – we had a talk on taking honors this morning in chapel, and the 12 hour week appeals to me no end. This 24 hour schedule runs me, and I am sick of having to do work in isolated pieces with no time to follow through various absorbing facets of it.
I am extremely lost as to what courses to take next year. I must take a practical art & a creative writing course . . . but as I am still undecided as to my major, I should also take both an Eng. lit. and a History-of-Art course in case I choose one or the other. Also I should take science & government or sociology. Which leaves me in conflict. Sometimes I wonder whether or not I should “go into social work.” If I did that, I could earn my own living . . . or if you could get me started secretarially next summer I might lay in summer experience for that “U.N. job”. The question is – shall I plan for a career? (ugh! I hate the word.) Or should I major in Eng. & Art & have a “free-lance” career if I ever catch a man who can put up with the idea of having a wife who likes to be alone and working artistically now & then? I would like to start thinking about where I’ll put the emphasis for the rest of my brief life.
If I get battered & discouraged in my creative course next year, I don’t care. Olive Higgins Prouty (bless her withered Bostonian hide) said I “had something.” Mr. Manzi* my art teacher spent an hour telling me how he liked what I was turning out in art (before supper, too, and he’s a gourmet at that!)
One thing that bothers me: there are so many little cracks and crevices here to let your energies slip away in small endeavors. I speak of all the thousands of “organizations” on campus, which devour human woman-hours with amazing rapidity. I am not a “politician”. I loved the president of student council who spoke on honors. Not only is she a brilliant personable student, but she has her hand on the pulse of the college. At the same time that I covet the feeling of “acting in an organization”, I think I should conserve my time for a more personal and perhaps selfish line of development. I realize the importance of a “well-rounded” individual, but I cherish a few of my angles a bit too much to rub them off. So, with the overly inquisitive Smith Club in mind, I have joined Studio Club (Art) and plan to sacrifice the best part of my life next week painting decorations for a dance which
I shall not attend (selfless service, you may call it.)
I have again run across Enid Epstein (the artistic girl who went to the High school of Music & Art in N.Y.) She’s just won a prize in Springfield for an oil painting . . . so I am again grateful for the wealth of human gems this college offers . . . & hope to have her for supper next week.
As for jobs – I’ve been refused at Chatham, Crowleys & West Harwich. Have still got fingers crossed for Orleans. Marcia & I are seeing about a job for “two friends” baby-tending in Swampscott. Wish us luck!
Do send “all” my cottons. I haven’t had a chance to go downtown to pick up a dress, but one girl here said she might help me make a brown skirt to replace the shiny skimpy one . . . If we have time. Do pick up that navy skirt & a navy blouse! I’ve got plenty of white ones, and all dresses here are way up in price. $85 is nothing for a date dress.
If you could see my schedule, you would shed a sympathetic tear. Decorating sure will kill me, but I have but one life to give for my country – let’s hope I emerge with a slight residue of living protoplasm and a B average.
Louise Giesey is going around with Eddie White . . . bet they end up connubially!* Pat is still crusading. I don’t even have time to wash my hair or my clothes. Every minute is so valuable that I hate myself for not being able to get along on less sleep.
This letter (famous-last-words) will have to last you for a long time. My history paper must get written this weekend.
I already got a casual thank-you letter from Dick.* In response to all my friends queries “what did he say? Is he coming to the Prom,” I had the reply “No” and a bright smile. I really don’t care about the prom, but his offer to come up in the early & leave in the late afternoon of that Saturday did annoy me. I know he has piles of themes & other dates, but it would have been chivalrous to offer to stay over in Amherst that night, whether he wanted to go back to Yale at 6 am or not. Coming to say a brief hello on the day of our Freshman Dance and then leaving so he “can work Sunday” disgusted my housemates no end. They feel he could at least have sacrificed a precious evening (even if he didn’t want to go to the dance) to take me to a movie or on a walk or something. I was dangerously tempted to take a blind date for the dance to salve my shattered ego. Luckily I will have a (hitherto) dateless Marcia to support me. Damn boys anyway.
And so I pass on to read 100 pages of Botany for a test tomorrow . . . and tomorrow . . and tomorrow.
Love,
Sivvy
TO Aurelia Schober Plath
Saturday 21 April 1951*
ALS with envelope,
Indiana University
Saturday
Dear Mother –
Got your cheerful letter this morning. Life sure is looking up. The story of the job goes like this: Marcia had applied to the vocational office which takes down your desires and capabilities and then sends you notices of all suitable requests for applicants that come in. So I was reading one of these mimeographed notices over Marty’s shoulder and we both came to the phrase “. . . we would like two friends, since the houses are only two streets apart . . . ” So we gulped and looked at each other with dawning enthusiasm. Marcia called and got us both an appointment with the woman at 2:15 Thursday. We made out data sheets to hand to her and walked in bravely. She impressed both of us right away, and we talked enthusiastically and handed her our sheets which she could read, so we wouldn’t have to brag verbally. Incidentally, we were the first on a list of 22 people to be interviewed (Marcia had hoped to be last, because it would leave more of an impression.) Can you imagine our amazement when she said “As far as I’m concerned I’d take you two right away, but I have to interview the others.” So we walked out, fingers crossed. Sure enough, she called at suppertime and said she hadn’t changed her mind.
After screaming and jumping up and down for several minutes we decided to play badminton to blow off steam.
Marcia will start work on Long Island & Join me in Swampscott at the beginning of July. Her children are 7, 9, 11. My job starts about Monday, June 18, and lasts till Labor Day. I will be taking care of Mrs. Fred Mayo’s* three infants of 2, 4, 6. (Mrs. Aldrich* will let me try out on hers, I hope.) Also, in the 2 weeks I’ll have at home, you can put me through a cooking schedule since we help with dinners on Sundays when the three families get together. One day off a week – $25 a week. I imagine life will not be a bed of roses, but my wish to have an incentive to learn to cook has come true. Also they have a private tennis court, and several boats including a yacht. That will be saved for “days-off.” Child psychology will be a good thing to develop – I just hope they like me! Also, I’ll brush up on fairy-tales. But unless they devise extra jobs, the littlest ones of mine should be in bed by eight. I think being a “mother” will be a new challenge. Also, she’s a doctor’s wife – and he’ll be home on weekends – so it should prove informative, if nothing else.
I am awfully excited about the potentialities of the whole affair. I can’t think of anything that I could have done would be more desirable.
Warren wrote me a delightful long letter in response to mine. He’s the dearest boy I know! I am so happy! Marcia & I got up at 6:30 this morning and played tennis before breakfast because it was so beautiful! Not a soul was up or at the courts, and the day was so blue and fresh. Love this place. Anything is possible if you work.
Love
Sivvy
TO Aurelia Schober Plath
Monday 23 April 1951*
ALS (postcard), Indiana University
Monday afternoon
Dear Mother –
Today has been utterly delightful – to begin with, I got my first A- this term on an Eng. paper I turned out in a tired depressed mood after Dick left last Sunday. Next, I found I got “A” in a Botany quiz I “failed.” Mrs. Ford* took me to a scrumptious lunch at Wiggin’s, & we had a lovely talk – she’s a dear, really! I felt delightfully free as everyone trotted nervously off to the History written . . . and my paper was lying smugly on my desk! I went shopping, then, and bought some brown material for $3.95 for a skirt I’m going to make with this girl’s help. Also, at supper I met a delightful Northampton girl resident who was a friend’s guest . . . her father is a creative English professor here, and her mother writes for “slicks” like the Ladies Home Journal to help earn money!! Did I tell you that one of Dick’s roommates is head of the Whiffenpoofs* next year?! I love reading over Dick’s last letter* – complete with cartoons – that his roommate* brought me Sat. night. I’ll probably be heading Yale-ward again on May 12 –
Love,
Sivvy
TO Aurelia Schober Plath
Wednesday 25 April 1951*
ALS with envelope,
Indiana University
Dear Mother –
I am so happy that I am taking time out of history to write to you. After 3 days of no mail, today’s was delicious – a card from you and two wonderful letters from Dick* and Bob Humphrey. This weekend should be delectable! Dick will be here for the afternoon (and, if I can persuade him, dinner) Bob will arrive at about 9 p.m. & stay till Sunday. Bob has the most dear sense of humor – listen to what he wrote:
“I am all set to arrive at Haven House at 9:00 P.M. on the 28th. I will sit in a dark corner of the living room surrounded by a pile of back issues of Popular Mechanics, chewing Brownstone cigars, with a squirrel tail cap pulled down over my eyebrows. So you can come back to the house with your supper date and say goodbye to him without having to remark out of a clear sky ‘Isn’t that Bob Humphrey, my next date, sitting there?’”
Isn’t that lovely?!! Also Bob says he hopes to see me this summer.
As for Dick, he invited me to come down on Friday May 11 to stay all weekend – seeing “Skin of Our Teeth”* and having a generally lovely time. I’m so excited over everything that I want to scream, shout and have everyone know how wonderful life is!
Ah, me – on to History! God, I’ve never been so joyous!
By
the way, board & room is going up $50 – so I hope they consider that on my Smith Scholarship –
Love to the world –
even Stalin –
Love,
your own Sivvy
TO Aurelia Schober Plath
Friday 27 April 1951*
ALS (postcard), Indiana University
Dear Mother . . .
It is Friday night, and I got your letter & postcards this morning. Dick’s card was so thoughtful, original and adorable. Marcia and I took this beautiful afternoon to go shopping down town. In one brief hour of trying on a lot of pretty cottons we picked me out a beautiful Jonathan Logan* for only $8.95!! I am behind the dirndl skirt & frilly blouse stage. It is a dark black & aqua pincheck that looks dark blue, with tiny black buttons & a dear skirt:
Love,
Sivvy
TO Aurelia Schober Plath
Tuesday 1 May 1951
ALS with envelope,
Indiana University
May 1 –
Dear Mother . . .
I am really sorry that the old Infirmary is so conscientious about keeping you posted on all our minor aches and pains. The fact is, I came down with another one of my colds and decided to come up here to get the best possible care so I could get well in the least possible time. I know how you worry, so I wasn’t going to tell you until I got out, forgetting that the D.O. notifies you anyway.