by John Booth
Dougal led them to a massive medieval hall. The oak beam ceiling stood thirty feet above them and the hall was forty five feet wide and at least twice that long. Two large open fireplaces dominated the room to the left and right. Roast ox and pig were being turned on spits over log fires. The hall was brightly lit by two electric arc lights, which were far too bright to look at.
The front of the hall was lined with oak tables, laden with food and drink. A crowd of people had already gathered and there was hubbub from them loud enough to make shouting a necessity if you wanted to be heard. At the far end of the hall stood a small stage, on which fiddlers and bagpipe players stood. They were playing music with a lively feel to it. That end of the hall was free of tables or chairs and small huddles of the younger people stood and chattered there, waiting for the dancing to begin.
Dougal led Daisy away from the others and got her a tankard of mulled wine that was still a little too hot to drink. He maneuvered her towards a passageway where it was possible to stand and talk without having to shout at each other.
“We seem to have lost the others,” Daisy said with satisfaction in her voice.
“They do say that two is company and three is a crowd,” Dougal replied innocently.
“Cam and I had a lot of trouble getting Arnold and the boys into those kilts,” Daisy said between giggles. “all insisted on wearing underwear even though I was sure that nothing is worn under a kilt.”
“There is nothing worn under my kilt,” Dougal said grinning, “I can assure you that it is all in perfect working order.”
Daisy blushed before responding, “I am quite sure I have just been subjected to one of the oldest jokes in the history of Scotland.”
Dougal laughed and then spoke in a confidential manner, looking to see that no one could overhear.
“Now my cousin Danny was in Perth a few years ago where he became a little worse for wear for drink and ended up taking a nap in a back alley. In his sleep, his kilt rode up his legs revealing his manhood to the world. A young girl walked past in the early morning and taking pity on him took the red ribbon from her hair and tied it in a nice bow around his shame.”
“As any properly modest child would do,” Daisy said, going along with the tall tale and wondering where it would lead.
“When he awoke, he looked down and saw the bow around his old man. ‘I don’t know what we were doing last night, laddie’ he told it, ‘But I’m surely glad you won first prize.’”
“You jest with me, sir,” Daisy said desperately trying to avoid laughing.
“I was just telling you, first hand, the oldest joke in Scotland,” Dougal replied straight-faced. Daisy held onto Dougal to avoid falling over as they both began to laugh uncontrollably.
Arnold and Camilla discovered they had lost Dougal and Daisy when they turned away from one of the benches carrying plates laden with food.
“Do you think Daisy will be safe with him?” Cam asked anxiously.
“I am more worried for Dougal,” Arnold replied, “Girls from Hobsgate can be pretty overwhelming to a naive country boy. I should know.”
“Shush!” Cam whispered urgently, “What if someone should hear you?”
Arnold grinned and bit into a roast chicken leg in response. He was feeling hungry, as he hadn’t eaten all day. He looked around at the hundreds of people in the hall and saw no one that he recognized. Then his eyes locked with those of Josiah Green who stood some distance away. Josiah waved and started to make his way through the throng towards them.
“I have to go and find the little boys room,” Arnold said hastily. He thrust his plate into Camilla’s hand and ducked as he started to make his way through the crowd, directly away from the rapidly approaching Josiah.
Camilla was as hungry as Arnold, but now she had a plate in each hand and no way to eat the food on her plate. ‘Damn you, Arnold Tompkins’, she thought irritably.
“Good evening, Miss Smith,” Josiah said mere inches from the back of Cam’s head. Cam jumped in shock and only just managed to keep the food on the plates. “I thought I saw your brother Arnold with you only a few moments ago. I was hoping to ask him a further question on heat engines.”
“Ah, that explains it,” Cam said quietly as the penny dropped.
“Explains what, Miss Smith?” Josiah asked in a puzzled tone.
“Nothing of importance, Mr. Green,” Cam said quickly. “Could you hold onto this plate for me a second? It is Arnold’s, and he is sure to return for it momentarily”
Cam pressed the plate onto Josiah and grabbed a large piece of cheese from her plate and bit into it. The desire to eat had become overwhelming as the smell of cooking food had wafted past her. When she finally managed to swallow, she tried to be polite, though what she really wanted was to devour the chunk of cured ham that waited on her plate.
“Is your lady wife present tonight?”
“Alas, we did not feel that this occasion was suitable for Janice and so Elsie chose to stay home and nurse her. I would not have come myself, but Elsie was insistent that one of us must go. She did not want to convey the impression that we are standoffish.”
“I am sure that no one could ever accuse you of that, Mr. Green,” Cam said with sincerity.
“I only hope Lord McBride agrees with you,” Josiah said, worry etched into his every word. “This job is an opportunity beyond my imagining and I must not fail in it, if only for the sake of Elsie and Janice.”
Cam had bitten into the ham while Josiah was talking and so was unable to respond for a while.
Ebb moved effortlessly between the lumbering bodies of the adults while Tricky stumbled after him, saying ‘sorry’ to someone every other step. The hall around the tables was thick with people and the boys decided to retreat towards the stage where it was less crowded. Both carried large quantities of food on them, but neither had bothered with the niceties of plates.
They found a place to sit at the bottom of a stone spiral staircase. Tricky sat on a step and screeched as the cold stone sucked heat from his poorly protected backside. He looked around and saw that Ebb held his kilt against the back of his legs as he sat.
“Seeing the future is worth somethin’, I suppose,” Tricky grumbled.
“I still felt it the once, just like you,” Ebb complained. “Its bin easier since Tom ‘ealed me though, less real like.”
“These skirts are good for somethin’,” Tricky pointed out. He had spread his legs wide and dumped the food he had been carrying onto his kilt.
“Dunno ‘bout that,” Ebb muttered, “Me legs are freezin’.”
The two boys dug into their food with a gusto, being every bit as hungry as Arnold and Cam. As they were finishing up the last scraps, Ebb put his hand up in the air and waved without looking up.
“Well, ‘ere’s a nice howdy do,” a familiar voice said sarcastically. “Never thought I’d see you two wearing skirts like little girls.”
Tricky looked up to see Alice staring down at him with her hands firmly pressed against her hips. She had three other girls with her who were staring at the boys and trying not to giggle.
“You knocked me out with your mind shoutin’ this afternoon,” Tricky replied vindictively, ignoring her remark, “And that after me and Ebb chased after you, all the way up ‘ere.”
“What are you doin’ ‘ere?” Alice asked. “I thought you got away from Smee’s men
“Come ‘ere to save you, we did,” Tricky replied, “Can’t think why now, given ‘ow yers all dressed up and all and got yer little gang with you.”
The girls moved closer until they were in a tight huddle with the boys.
“I ‘opes you came up ‘ere with a plan,” Alice told them, “Because me and me girls want out of ‘ere, desperate like.”
“We brought some spies with us,” Ebb said, speaking for the first time. “Adult ones, they aint very bright, but me and Tricky bin steering ‘em outa trouble.”
“They came looking for the Spellbinder and To
m. You aint seen them anywhere around ‘ere ‘ave you?” Tricky asked.
“They split us up last night,” Alice explained. “I wouldn’t be surprised if they were somewhere at the dance. This ‘state is full of crazy people who let their prisoners wander about without so much as a backward glance.”
“Are you going to introduce us properly or what?” Gwendolyn asked in annoyance. She was not used to being left out of a conversation.
“I suppose,” Alice replied. “These boys in skirts are me mates, Tricky and Ebb, what were locked up with me in Smee’s house before we were sold. They got away like, an’ never got sold, but it looks like they ended up ‘ere anyway.”
“Pleased to meet you,” Edith said politely as she stuck out her hand towards Tricky.
“Very lardydar,” Tricky said as he briefly touched Edith’s hand. “Did you get bought by his lordship too?”
“We did,” Lucy said. “Me and Gwen were sold at Smee’s. Edith was sold by her parents to settle a debt with Lord McBride.”
Edith’s face clouded with pain at Lucy’s word, but she made no attempt to correct or deny her words.
“That’s all right,” Ebb said brightly, “She can come and stay at ours. Me mam’s always wanted a daughter.”
34. Bomb
Tom wondered what it was about Laura that made it impossible for her to set out for anything on time. Giles had told them that the clothes they wore would be fine for this Scottish ‘Kay-lee’ so all Tom did when they got back to their room was splash some water over his face to freshen up and then he was ready to go.
Perhaps it was the fact that the maid, Rhona, had been waiting for them when they got back, and that the two girls pushed Tom out of the room before he had finished toweling his face. Maybe when two young women got together, little things like being late for a dance did not matter anymore.
Tom had been brought up strictly by his parents. They had taught him the value of manners through the judicious use of rod and strap. Walking into his parents’ bedroom without knocking and waiting for permission first resulted in a severe whipping when he was four years old. Being rude to people was nearly unthinkable. It had taken him years to get to the point where he could joke with someone like Laura, and he often thought he went too far with her.
One of the things that had been drummed into him repeatedly was never to be late and never to incommode a host. The thought of being late to the dance was making him twitch, but to knock on the bedroom door and complain about it was equally unthinkable. The internal conflict was driving him crazy.
Their bedroom door opened and the two girls walked out. As soon as he saw them, Tom realized what had taken all the time; Laura had been helping Rhona get ready for the dance. Both girls looked breathtakingly beautiful. Laura had a gift when it came to applying makeup. Unless you knew, you would not realize either girl wore any makeup at all, but both looked radiant in a way that nature rarely achieved.
Rhona took in Tom’s stare and giggled in delight.
“If the other men are affected like your young man, I’m going to have a grand time at the dance.”
“Tom is a little naïve when it comes to women so you may have to work a little harder with normal men. Just look how he has made us late by not telling us how the time was going. So typical of the boy,” Laura said airily.
Tom tried to find appropriate words of outrage, but as usual, his upbringing hindered him and all he could manage was a half-hearted sulky reply.
“You had a perfectly good clock in the room.”
“And I thought I had a perfectly good young man out here, making sure I would not be late,” Laura snapped back. “Now don’t delay us further, Thomas, we must not keep Lord McBride and his guests waiting a moment longer.”
Tom waved his hands in a gesture of despair and led the way down to the Banqueting Hall. Giles had been precise with directions, so Tom knew exactly how to get there.
He had barely managed a dozen steps before Laura and Rhona caught up with him and linked their arms in his.
“That’s better, Tom,” Laura said as she held him close to her. “You shall enter the hall with two of the prettiest woman in this place on your arms and everyone will know you are someone special.”
“Did you not just spend five minutes telling me how useless I am?” Tom asked in confusion.
“Do you think I would waste my time expending all that effort on you if you were not someone special?” Laura asked. “It is just that you require a little house training. When I have finished, you will be perfect.”
Arnold had found a secret place to hide where he could eat in peace without the threat of Josiah Green bombarding him with questions. There was an alcove behind a large tapestry of a stag at bay and he had hidden there with a large tankard of mulled wine and a plate brimming with food. Arnold planned to spend the entire dance in this one spot if he could. It was bad enough having to wear a skirt, without embarrassing himself further by showing off his total lack of skill on the dance floor.
He was just about to bite into a large slice of beef when he heard two men speaking softly to each other on the other side of the tapestry. They must have been inches from his position.
“The test is set for midnight, Laird,” an educated Scottish male voice said skeptically. “Assuming your man, Clerkes, is correct in his theory, we may well hear the blast from here.”
“You should have more faith, Blane,” a heartier Scottish voice replied. “I knew from the first that dantium came straight from hell and when Hans suggested it could be used to create a burst of hellfire I knew I was correct. We shall use this dantium bomb to burn England at its heart and the Empire’s centre shall move to Edinburgh and Scotland where it rightly belongs.”
“There’s a lot of Sassenachs in places like Manchester and Liverpool that will disagree with you on that matter, Laird,” Blane said dryly
“This mission was given to me by God himself,” McBride continued. “Why else would he put pitchblende on my land or send me the scientists and Spellbinders who could unlock its secrets? Why only today the Good Lord answered my prayers and Giles Summers is fully recovered. What greater sign could you want than that?”
“As you say, Laird,” Blane replied demurely. “One way or the other we shall know soon enough. Perhaps our Mr. Clarkes will underestimate his safe distance and join his master in hell. It would be no great loss.”
“Aye,” the Laird said with a chuckle, “I will have no need of him once we are certain the bomb works. Rest assured that I will dispose of him when the time is right. The knowledge he holds makes him far too dangerous to be allowed to continue to walk the Earth.”
“Aye, Laird, for one thing he could point the accusing finger at you and I when the English come seeking revenge.”
“There will be no one left to come looking, Blane, I can assure you of that, no one who is in London at the time, for certain.”
“If the device works, Laird.”
Arnold had been trying hard not to breathe as the two men spoke. If they discovered him hiding there, they would certainly kill him out of hand. Arnold was certain that the man the other called Laird must be Lord McBride. A few short months ago, Arnold would have scoffed at the idea of a bomb that could blow up a city as big as London. His encounters with the invention of an American called Gatling had convinced him otherwise. If a man could make a gun so unholy that it could fire more than a hundred rounds a minute, then another could build a bomb big enough to destroy a city. It stood to reason.
Tom made a grand entrance into the hall with Laura on his right and Rhona on his left. The hall was crowded with people eating, drinking, and talking, but nonetheless eyes turned towards them and several people nudged their friends to take a look.
“My dear, how delightful for us that you should attend our little function,” McBride said as he approached them at speed. Trailing behind him was his secretary, Blane Grant. Blane carried a wine glass in one hand and had a look of amused contempt on his
face.
“And surely this cannot be our own Rhona Freer?” Lord McBride said as he smiled at the girl. “If I did not know that you have no tools for casting a bind, I would accuse you of witchcraft, my dear. Rhona has never looked lovelier and I dare say the young men of the castle will be chasing her this night.”
Rhona gave McBride a deep curtsy and left to find her friends.
“And you, laddie,” Lord McBride said addressing Tom. “You dinna look like much, but if you can get two such beautiful lassies to hang on your arms then you must have something about you. I might have tried my own hand at healing if I’d known such privileges were attached.”
Tom blushed at McBride’s words. As he always did in such times, he fell back on the manners he had been taught over his parent’s knees.
“Is Lady McBride well?”
Lord McBride’s face went from a smile to a scowl and Blane laughed cynically. With a visible effort, McBride pulled a smile back onto his face.
“It is good of you to ask, laddie. Unfortunately, Lady McBride has come down with a terrible headache and has retired to her bed. But enough on such gloomy matters, you must hurry up and eat something. The dancing is about to start and I insist that our most handsome couple should take part in it.”
“I don’t know any Scottish dances,” Tom protested. The truth was that he could only dance if his partner did not mind bruised toes.
“Nonsense, laddie, as I explained to the bonnie lassie earlier, the dances are simple and a demonstration will be given before we start. Now go and get some mulled wine down you.”
“So this is where you are hiding, Arnold Tompkins,” Cam said angrily as she pulled aside the tapestry to reveal the man still hiding in the alcove.
“Shush, are you trying to give us away?” Arnold snapped and pulled Cam into the alcove with him.
“Arnold, I never knew you cared,” Cam said breathlessly as she found Arnold holding her in a close embrace. Her tone became hard. “Nor do I particularly care to know, unhand me now.”