by Lisa Childs
“I don’t,” he admitted. “But it obviously matters a lot to you, so I’m sorry.”
She stared up at him now, but he doubted she could see him because tears filled her eyes. And his heart contracted even more. He didn’t want to see her cry.
He had intended to commiserate with her—not upset her. But then he’d never been good at finding the right words.
“Shh,” he murmured, as much to himself as to her. It was better if he didn’t try to talk. To distract her from her sadness, he kissed her. First her eyelids. Then her cheeks down which her tears trailed. He kissed her lips until she moaned and kissed him back. Maybe because they were cold—or because they were hot—they shed their damp clothes quickly. Then to really distract her, he touched her—sliding his hands all over her naked body, cupping her breasts, stroking her butt…
She pushed him down onto her bed and touched him back. He was so distracted that he barely remembered to reach for a condom. He’d barely sheathed himself before she straddled his hips and guided him to her entrance. She rode him, her movements frenzied as she sought her release.
He helped her, his hands gripping her hips. He thrust up, matching her rhythm. And they came together—crying out in pleasure.
*
SERENA DROPPED ONTO Cody’s chest, which heaved as he struggled to breathe. She panted for breath, too, but not because of what they’d just done. She had difficulty breathing because of what she’d just realized.
She had fallen in love with Cody Mallehan.
Her friends would think she was crazy. Hell, so would Cody. He had warned her over and over that he wasn’t sticking around. But he’d also told her he wasn’t a good man.
And she suspected they didn’t come much better than him. He was a far better man than he wanted anyone to know. That was why he would leave—he thought it would protect them if he was gone.
“You should stay,” she said. “At least until you know if you got that job or not.”
He would get it. She had no doubt about that. No matter what else anyone said about Cody, they all agreed he was a good firefighter.
Even Fiona and Tammy.
He just wasn’t good boyfriend material.
“You don’t know the arsonist is really after you,” she said.
“Who else would have cut my brake line?” he asked.
She forced a smile. “An ex-girlfriend? A jealous boyfriend of a girlfriend?”
His lips curved into a slight grin. “The only guys I’ve pissed off flirting with their women are Wyatt and Dawson. I hope one of them didn’t cut my brake line.”
“I doubt that.” Despite how badly they all razzed each other, it was clear they loved him, too.
“So it has to be the arsonist,” he said. “And because of that, I really think I should go.”
She drew back and asked him, “Are you just looking for an excuse to leave?”
“Serena, I told you—”
She pressed her fingers to his lips. “Don’t worry,” she said. “I know you’re not the kind of guy who can stay in one place for very long. You told me all that. I don’t imagine you living in this house with me—raising kids with me here.”
“Is that why you want to keep it?” he asked.
She nodded. “I want to raise my family here like my grandmother and my mother did,” she confirmed.
He stared at her, but his green gaze was blank. He had no reference point to compare his life to the one she wanted. He had never had a family or a home.
She could give that to him…if he wanted. But it was clear that he didn’t. He couldn’t miss what he’d never had. If she tried to convince him to stay, it would be too hard on him. He’d grow bored because traveling from place to place was all he knew.
“I’m sorry that I thought it was just a house,” he murmured. Maybe he thought she had started crying over the house, when the cause was his sweetness, the realization that she’d fallen for him…
“To you, it’s just a house,” she agreed. “And that’s why I know you’re not the guy for me.”
“Then what are we doing here?” he asked, as he moved inside her.
Their bodies were still joined. They were as close as two people could be, yet so far apart in how they thought and felt.
Sure, she loved him. But it didn’t matter. He didn’t want the same things out of life that she did.
“Why can’t we stay away from each other?” he asked. “Why do I want you again after we just made love?”
“Maybe we’re just a distraction for each other,” she suggested. “You’re taking my mind off my sister’s lawsuit. And I’m…”
She waited but he said nothing, so she asked, “What am I distracting you from?”
He sighed. “Everything.”
He didn’t sound happy about it. But for some odd reason Serena was. He might never love her the way she loved him, but at least he wasn’t indifferent to her.
And when he left, he would remember her. He wouldn’t be like her father who’d left her mother without another thought.
He would think of her occasionally. But she worried that he would always be on her mind.
15
“MACK MCROONEY CALLED me again,” Braden said as he joined Cody in the workout room at the firehouse. Like the other rooms, it had cement-block walls. But this room had a couple of mirrors glued over some of the blocks. “He had some questions about you.”
Cody tensed, his arms straining as he held the dumbbell over his head. He studied Braden’s face in one of the mirrors glued to the cement-block walls. “So did you tell him what a cocky pain in the ass I am?”
Braden sighed. “If I did that, he wouldn’t want to hire you away from me.”
“So does he want to?” Cody asked. He highly doubted it after the way he’d blown his interview.
Serena distracted him—from everything. But he hadn’t left her. He couldn’t bring himself to leave, not with a maniac on the loose.
“Sounds like he’s going to offer you the position,” Braden said.
Cody sucked in a breath. He’d wanted that job for so long. But now that it might be his…
“You’re okay with that?” he asked his boss.
“I don’t want to lose you,” Braden admitted. “But I know being a smoke jumper is what you want. You made that clear when I hired you.”
“And you took a chance on me anyway,” Cody said. “Why? Were you just doing Mack a favor—getting me the experience he wanted?”
Braden shook his head. “Not at all. I hired you because I thought you’d fit in well with the team and that you’d work hard. And I figured that after a couple of seasons with us, you might change your mind and want to stay.”
Cody wasn’t so sure what he wanted anymore. “I think I should,” he murmured.
Braden grinned. “Really? You’d consider staying?”
“At least until the arsonist is caught,” Cody said. “I’d hate to leave now.”
“We can handle him,” Braden said.
Cody could have pointed out that they hadn’t caught him yet. But he refrained. “This is personal to me.”
“It’s personal to all of us.”
“But he burned down my cabin.”
“He burned down the part of the forest that your cabin happened to be in,” Braden said. “I’m sure he’s not after you specifically.”
“I’m not so certain,” Cody said. “That fall I took in the tub—”
“—was an accident,” Braden said.
“And my brake line getting cut?”
Braden tensed now. “What?”
Cody had intended to tell Braden when he’d gotten back from his interview. But he’d had to see Serena first to make certain she was all right. And then she’d distracted him as she always did with her sexiness, with her sweetness.
“That’s how I crashed my truck,” he said. “The mechanic confirmed it. He saved the brake line for us to turn in to the police.”
Braden nodded. “Good. We’ll c
all the state police and report it.”
“I think we should also check out this guy staying at Serena’s,” he said.
Sure, Mr. Tremont was a veteran, but that didn’t mean he was above committing any crimes. He gave Braden the name.
His boss nodded. He would make sure Wendell Tremont was thoroughly investigated.
“What else can we do?” Cody wondered aloud. He didn’t feel like he was doing enough to keep Serena safe. Sure he’d stayed in her bed all night, his arms wrapped tightly around her. He’d been awake and alert to any sound. But the only noise he heard was Annie, pushing her way through the door to join them in bed.
“We’re doing everything we can,” Braden said. “I think you should take that job now.”
“Why?” Cody asked. “Do you think the arsonist will leave Northern Lakes alone if I leave?”
“No,” another voice chimed in as Dawson joined them. “I thought that the fires would stop when Avery left.” He’d done everything in his power to make her leave—even rejecting her when he’d already fallen hopelessly in love. He hadn’t lasted long, though, before he’d gone chasing after her. Actually he hadn’t had to chase her; Avery had come back for him.
Cody waited for the flash of disgust and pity he’d felt for Dawson and Wyatt falling in love. But he didn’t feel it. Instead he felt a little fear.
But that had to be because of the arsonist.
The fires had stopped for a little while after Avery had left and things had stayed quiet for a time even when she’d returned, between assignments, to Northern Lakes. But eventually the fires had started springing up again on the already scorched land. But the arsonist hadn’t lit any fires for a few weeks. Instead he’d taken to slicking down tubs and cutting brake lines.
“You just don’t want Cody to leave,” Braden said.
“And you do?” Hess asked their superintendent.
Braden shrugged.
Cody began to suspect his boss might have another reason for wanting him gone: Serena. Maybe he wanted Cody out of her house so that he had a clear shot at getting her attention. He was the kind of guy she wanted—he’d appreciate her house and her heritage and her desire to raise a family where she’d grown up.
Braden was older. He’d already been ready to start his family when his wife had left him for another man.
Yeah, Braden Zimmer was the kind of guy Serena wanted and needed. But why did the thought of her with anyone but him make Cody feel sick?
*
SERENA FELT SICK. Maybe it was the wine. She hadn’t had anything to drink since that night at the Filling Station. And this wine was too sweet.
Or maybe it was the dinner. The meat was covered in some kind of rich gravy that made her stomach feel as if it were curdling. Maybe it was the heat emanating from the candle that burned too brightly on the table between them.
But Serena suspected she felt sick because the man sitting across from her was Gordon, who smiled at her now. He was a good-looking man. He was even blond like Cody, but his hair was shorter, neater. And his eyes were blue—a clear, bright blue. He was handsome. And he was nice. But he wasn’t Cody.
She wasn’t on a date, though. At least it wasn’t a date in her mind. She’d asked Gordon out, but she’d made it clear that she wanted to talk about what she could do in order to get a mortgage or a business loan for the boardinghouse.
Maybe she should have asked him back to the house. Maybe she should have showed him what she was trying to save. But then she would have risked running into Cody.
He hadn’t been home very often over the past few days. But he still came back to the house to sleep—usually in her bed. Of course they didn’t do much sleeping.
Maybe that was why she felt sick—because she was so tired. And Gordon hadn’t given her anything but compliments. He had no helpful advice for her to be able to get a loan.
“The only thing you can do is talk to your sister,” he suggested.
She sighed. “That’s what Cody said.”
“Of course,” Gordon said. “I heard Cody Mallehan’s been staying at your boardinghouse.”
She wasn’t surprised people knew; Cody was always a topic of gossip. “Yes, he is.”
“Do you think that’s wise?” Gordon asked as he sipped his sweet wine.
“Why wouldn’t it be?” she asked.
Disapproval pulled his lips into a thin line. He didn’t have Cody’s kissable mouth. “I’ve heard he has quite the reputation.”
“You know Northern Lakes,” she said. “It’s a small town so rumors spread. That doesn’t mean they’re true.”
Gordon chuckled. “Rumors get started for a reason.” He gestured toward the other side of the restaurant. “Like that…”
Serena glanced toward where the bank officer pointed. Cody sat at a table near the windows overlooking the street, his blond head bent toward his dinner companion. The woman’s back was to Serena, so she could only see her short, dark hair.
Who was she? And what was Cody doing with her?
Dating her?
But sleeping in Serena’s bed every night?
The woman jumped up from the table and rushed out. Maybe she’d just learned what Serena had just discovered—that she wasn’t the only woman in Cody’s life.
She’d felt nausea before, but it was nothing in comparison to how she felt now. Maybe he wasn’t the good guy she’d convinced herself he was. Of course, she was with another man. But it wasn’t a date.
Gordon chuckled again. “Apparently everything I’ve heard about Cody Mallehan isn’t true,” he said. “Looks like he just struck out.”
It wouldn’t be his last time that night. If he dared come to her bedroom again…
She glanced over to his table again, glaring at him. This time—without his dinner companion to distract him—he saw her and glared back. He was so focused on her that he must not have seen the waiter passing his table with a tray of drinks—because he lurched to his feet and bumped into the guy. The liquid flew, spraying over Cody, the waiter and the nearest diners. The glasses dropped to the hardwood floor and shattered.
The restaurant fell eerily silent as everyone stared at the debacle—at Cody. But he was still focused on her so that, as he stepped forward, he slipped on the spilled liquid and broken glass and went down with an oath that echoed throughout the restaurant.
“That’s embarrassing,” Gordon murmured.
But that was nothing—because Cody regained his feet with a few more curses and another fall, and staggered toward their table.
His words slurred, he demanded to know, “What the hell are you doing?”
She wondered that herself. Why had she been sleeping with a man like Cody Mallehan? A man who cared only about the conquest and not the long run?
Gordon stood. “She’s on a date,” he said. “Just as you must have been.” He shook his head. “Although I can understand why she left.”
Serena saw Cody’s hand curl into a fist. Before he could swing it, she jumped up and grabbed his arm.
“You’re making a scene,” she told him between clenched teeth. She was so angry she felt like hitting him. She didn’t care what the other diners would think, but she did want to look like a responsible business owner in front of Gordon.
“Then take me home,” he said, his green eyes hard as he stared at her. Hard and intense—not glassy or bloodshot. He was furious, but she wasn’t certain he was drunk despite his smelling like a brewery.
“That’s rude,” Gordon said. “She hasn’t even finished her meal. The maître d’ will call you a cab.” He gestured for the waiter.
Serena grabbed her purse from the table. “That’s fine,” she said. “I will drive him.”
“But why?” Gordon asked, and his blue eyes dimmed with disappointment.
She’d thought she’d made it clear to him that their dinner out was not a date. Driving Cody home gave her an excuse to end it now—before Gordon tried to walk her to her car, before he tried to kiss he
r or secure another date.
“She owes me,” Cody said. “I drove her home when she drank too much at the bar.”
Pitching her voice low, she said, “I don’t owe you anything.”
Then she forced a smile for Gordon. “I’m sorry,” she said. “But I should get him home.”
“He’s not your responsibility,” Gordon insisted.
“He’s my boarder,” she said. And that was all he ever should have been.
Cody slung his arm around her shoulders and leaned heavily on her. “You better get me home before I pass out,” he murmured. “You won’t be able to carry me as easily as I carried you.”
Her face heated as embarrassment rushed over her. She had been a mess that night at the Filling Station. But a gentleman wouldn’t have mentioned it. Apparently he’d only acted like one that night.
“You’re a jerk,” she said, steering him quickly toward the door. She would drive him home, just in case he wasn’t sober enough; then she would let him have it.
16
CODY COULD FEEL Serena’s slender body bristling with anger. She was beyond pissed, and he didn’t blame her.
But he was pissed, too.
“So that was good old Gordon,” he murmured. His stomach knotted—like it had when he’d glanced over and seen her all dressed up sitting with another man.
“Who was your date?” she asked as she shoved him up against the side of her car. She pulled open the passenger’s door and pushed him into the seat a little roughly.
“You didn’t recognize her?”
She stared down at him. “Do I know her?”
“She used to live in Northern Lakes,” he said.
Serena must not have cared that much because she didn’t ask him any more questions. She just slammed the passenger’s door and headed around the front of the car to the driver’s side. When she moved to jam the keys in the ignition, he caught her hand.
“She wasn’t my date,” he qualified.
“Looked like a date.”
“It definitely was not,” he said. And there were several reasons that it hadn’t been, Serena being the biggest one. But he was too proud to admit that. “I don’t go out with anyone during wildfire season.”
“Then what are we doing?” she asked.