“How can you say that, Felicia?” Hawk looks at her as if she’s committed sacrilege. “The guys would die for the club. You know that.”
Josh makes a calming gesture with his hands. “She’s not wrong, Hawk.”
Hawk looks at him as if he’d gone mad. “What are you saying?” His voice is cold and hard as steel.
“I’m saying that not all the Kings are necessarily as dedicated as you.” Josh shrugs his shoulders, his voice and body language deceptively casual, and Melissa wonders if this little act is just to keep Hawk from going all ‘black cloud’ on them. “There are a couple that we’ve been keeping an eye on. If Wes has figured out how to separate the sheep from the lions, then we could have a problem.”
Hawk shakes his head, like he can’t believe what Josh is telling him. He drops Melissa’s hand, raking his fingers through his hair. Melissa settles a hand on his arm, longing to comfort him, knowing that she’s never seen him look so lost. The Kings were his family—to find out that perhaps they weren’t the perfect brotherhood that he had thought they were—was clearly a blow.
“If that article goes to print, the Feds will have probable cause, enough for a warrant. It won’t take them long to go through the books, credit check the bar, The Shop, the other businesses the Kings are running.” Josh doesn’t need to finish his thought. They all know where this is headed. Anything that Wes printed would be devastating for the motorcycle club; it could mean the end of it altogether. It made Melissa even madder at the man that she’d thought she could count on as a friend.
“So what are we waiting for?” Hawk plants his hands on his hips, determination radiating out of him. “We go get Wes, and we make him disappear.”
He says the words so simply that it takes Melissa’s breath away. She knew that Hawk wasn’t a boy scout, but she hadn’t been prepared for the fact that he could talk so naturally about killing someone.
“You can’t be serious!” She stares at him, open-mouthed.
“Calm down, Hawk. We can’t just go in there all guns blazing.” Josh’s voice is calm, but he shows no hint of being surprised at Hawk’s reaction.
“Why the hell not? He’s the one who started all of this. He should be the one to face the consequences.” Hawk zeroes in his attention on Josh, as if he’s forgotten that Melissa is even there.
“By facing the consequences, you mean that he deserves to die?” Melissa fights to keep the panic out of her voice.
“If he wants to destroy the club, then he has to go. That’s how this works, Melissa. You’re not naïve enough to think that I carry a gun to shoot deer.” He gives her a look that cuts her down to her core, but she refuses to show how hurt she is. She knows that Hawk is talking out of anger and hurt; they would talk about his angry words to her later.
“No, I’m not naïve enough to believe that. But I’d also like to think that I know you well enough to know that you won’t just shoot someone for doing their job!” Melissa meets his fury with her own, refusing to back down.
“Their job? Is that how you see this? He’s going to destroy the club, Melissa. For fun. Don’t you get that?” He looks at her in confusion, as if she’s completely missing the point.
Melissa takes a deep breath, calming herself, knowing that the two of them shouting at each other isn’t exactly conducive to finding a workable solution. “I do get it, Hawk. Why would I have come to you with this information if I didn’t?” She touches him gently on the shoulder, and his eyes soften slightly at the contact. “But I can’t let you hurt him. No matter what he’s planning on doing, I can’t let you do that.”
Hawk gives her a shocked look. “Let me?”
“First, Hawk in karate, you think you can take me?” Melissa raises an eyebrow at him, only half-joking. She had been trying to break the tension, but her lame tease doesn’t seem to have done anything helpful.
“Why do you care about what happens to him?” Hawk’s question tells her that he’s only really listened to part of what she’s said.
Melissa sighs deeply, wondering how she ended up in the middle of the woods, in the dark, explaining to an angry biker why it was wrong to kill people just because you don’t like them.
“Because he may not be my favorite person in the world, but that doesn’t mean I’m okay with something terrible and permanent happening to him.” Melissa crosses her arms over her chest, staring Hawk down. “If anything happened to him because of me, I would never be able to forgive myself. That’s just how I’m wired.” Melissa sighs deeply, suddenly feeling exhausted. “Even if I didn’t have scruples, Wes’s family is basically made of money. His family is all over the society pages; they’re Portland royalty. If anything were to happen to him, nothing would stop the police, the Feds, and God knows who else from crashing down on the club with the full force of the law. Besides, even if Wes was…out of the picture,” Melissa winces at the euphemism and the fact that she was even talking about it, “DeVry would just send someone else to cover the story.”
“So now that the smashing heads option is off of the table, what are we left with?” Felicia smoothly takes the floor, putting a stop to the angry back and forth between Melissa and Hawk that doesn’t seem to be getting anywhere.
“I didn’t think we had agreed that it wasn’t an option.” Hawk plants his feet firmly in the dirt, looking at them with a challenge burning in his eyes.
“Well, unless you want me to turn around and walk away right now, then I suggest you think of something else.” Melissa mutters the words under her breath, but the way that Hawk clenches and unclenches his fists tells her that he’s heard.
CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR
Josh looks uneasily between them, as if he thinks he might have to intervene. “Settle down the two of you, just settle down.” He makes a calming gesture and waits until Melissa and Hawk relax slightly before he continues. “We don’t have to make a decision right now, tonight.” He holds up his hand, as Hawk goes to interrupt him. “I know we can’t just wait around for something to happen. But whatever we do, we have to think about it. We’re not talking about some gangbanger that no one gives a shit about, Hawk. We’re talking about a guy who will be missed, a guy with a powerful family and the ability to bury us if we make one wrong step.” He locks eyes with Hawk—who nods slightly. It’s barely a fraction of an inch, but it’s enough to tell them that he is still willing to listen to reason.
Josh’s shoulders sag in relief, and the sigh he lets out is audible. He has clearly seen Hawk mad and knows what he is capable of. It makes Melissa a little uneasy. She knew that he had a temper on him, but she’d only seen glimpses of the aggression that he keeps buried deep. The violence that he’s capable of unleashing has made him the best prospect the Kings have ever had, but what does it say about him as a man?
“I’m with Josh. We don’t have to make any decisions right now.” Felicia yawns expansively, stretching like a cat. “And as no one has any ideas that don’t involve a cement block and a deep lake…”
Melissa holds up her hand, not quite ready to joke about that yet. She takes a deep breath, knowing that what she’s going to say is going to set off some fireworks that she’s not sure she’ll be able to handle. But since her conversation with Wes the night before, she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it.
With the right incentive, anything is possible, Melissa.
The memory of his words and the lascivious way he had looked at her as he’d said them makes her shiver. It was a short-term solution to the problem, and it might not even work, but then again, it just might. She clears her throat, steeling herself for the reaction of the others.
“I have an idea.” Melissa tries not to flinch, as three pairs of eyes focus on her, a question in all of them. “Wes still kind of has a…a thing for me.”
“Hell, no.” Hawk grabs hold of her wrist and pulls her towards him, looking at her like she’s gone mad.
“How much of a thing?” Felicia ignores the look that Hawk gives her, instea
d focusing on Melissa who gently disengages herself from her position against Hawk’s chest.
“Flowers, chocolates, you know, the usual stalking behavior.” She shrugs and smiles humorlessly.
Josh lets out a low whistle. “He sounds like a peach.” His voice drips with sarcasm.
“Why are we even talking about this? It’s not an option.” Hawk shakes his head, looking at the people around him as if they’ve missed an important point.
“It might be our only option.” Melissa’s voice is gentle, but Hawk flinches as if she had shouted at him.
“Not to offend you or anything, Melissa. You know I think you’re real pretty, but what makes you think that it’s enough for Wes to give up this article? You said it was really important to him.” Josh shifts uncomfortably, purposefully ignoring the look that Hawk is giving him.
“I can’t believe we’re still talking about this. It’s not happening.” Hawk keeps a tight hold on Melissa’s hand, as if he can squeeze her into submission.
“Because he said so last night.” Melissa concentrates on answering Josh’s question instead of on the hurt that she knows she’ll see in Hawk’s face. “When I saw him at the bar and confronted him about what he was doing, he said that there’s someone he cares about more than anything else.” Her voice quivers a little at the thought of it.
“You.” Felicia’s voice is quiet, and she nods in understanding. “There are some people that you would do anything for them to want you.”
Melissa looks at her, knowing that Felicia is talking about Hawk, but she remains silent.
“You’re talking about pimping yourself out to that piece of crap?” Hawk looks at Melissa like he doesn’t even know her.
“I’m talking about saving the club.” She stands tall under his scrutiny, unflinching.
“She has a point, Hawk.” Josh uses that calming tone of his again, but this time it doesn’t have any effect at all on the man he looks at like a son. “Melissa knows this guy better than any of us. If she’s saying this is something that could work, then we have to think about it.”
Hawk is rendered momentarily speechless by Josh’s words, but he recovers quickly. He turns to his side and grabs the first thing that he can, which happens to be the picnic bench. He lifts it and hurls it over, as if it weighed nothing. The others just watch him—in shock at the outburst—as he breathes hard, looking like he wants to grab something else to throw or punch.
“Hawk, calm down!” Melissa’s voice seems to pierce through the fog that has covered his eyes, and she sees the moment he returns to them.
But he doesn’t look at her, doesn’t even acknowledge her existence. “I’m done talking about this.” He turns on his heel and walks back towards the bike, taking long purposeful strides.
“Hawk, wait!” Josh takes a step towards the younger man, but Melissa holds up her hand.
“It’s alright, I’ll go.” She rubs at her temples, as she stares after him. “I’m the one he’s mad at for even suggesting it.”
“It’s not just that, Melissa.” Josh settles a hand on her shoulder, pulling her attention back onto him. “He knows that you might be right, and that’s more than he wants to deal with right now.”
Melissa meets his eyes and sees how much Hawk’s pain affects the older man. “Don’t worry, Josh. I’ve got this.” She pats him reassuringly on a tattooed arm, bulky with muscle.
“Melissa.” The warning in Felicia’s voice stops Melissa in her tracks. “Sometimes it’s better just to let him cool off when he’s like this.”
“This happens a lot?” Melissa looks between the two of them, gauging their reactions.
“He has a temper; he’s had a lot to deal with in his life.” Josh shrugs his shoulders as if that said it all. “Sometimes, when he feels like things are out of his control, he just reacts.” Josh gestures vaguely towards the overturned picnic table.
“The black cloud?” Melissa looks between them, and they both nod slowly.
“And sometimes, when that happens, it’s best to stay out of his way and let him work through whatever it is on his own.” Felicia gives her a pointed look, as if she already knows that Melissa is going to ignore her.
Melissa weighs their words and looks after Hawk, his tall form rapidly disappearing in the dim light. “He’s not on his own anymore.”
Josh gives her his second approving look of the night, and Felicia squeezes her shoulder reassuringly. Melissa can’t help but wonder if she’d just passed some sort of test.
She sets off after Hawk at a jog, knowing that if he reaches the bike before she reaches him that he’ll ride away without her, torturing himself with the fact that this isn’t something he can solve on his own.
“Hawk, wait up!” She speeds up, almost breaking into a full-on sprint before he eventually stops, just a few paces away from the parked bike. However, he doesn’t turn around to look at her; he remains resolutely staring straight ahead. “Can we talk about this?” She reaches out to touch him and tries not to feel upset at the way he flinches away from her.
“I’m not really in the mood to talk, Melissa.” His words come out as if he’s saying them through clenched teeth. “You should go. I’m not someone you want to be around right now.”
Melissa can hear the pain in his voice, and she feels her heart turn over. “I always want to be around you, Hawk. There’s nothing you can do to change that.” She keeps her voice soft, the way you would talk to a spooked horse.
“You don’t know what you’re getting into.” He shakes his head and looks at his feet, like he’s ashamed of something, afraid of what she’s going to see.
“Then show me.” She waits, shivering in the cold wind, but he just stands there, unmoving as a statue. “But could you hurry up about it; I’m sort of freezing out here.” She huffs a quiet chuckle and watches as it seems to wake Hawk from his trance.
He steps towards the bike and grabs up the helmet that she uses, thrusting it towards her without turning around. He doesn’t wait for her to put it on before he straddles the bike and kick starts the engine. Melissa figures that she’s not going to get any more of an invitation and pulls the helmet on, taking up her position behind him on the bike, wrapping her arms around his waist. He tenses under her touch, as if he’s holding himself in check, trying to keep the fire he’s feeling inside under wraps.
“Remember, you asked for this.” His voice is so quiet she almost misses the words. He doesn’t say anything else for entire ride back, and Melissa has to remind herself that he’s right, that she’d asked to see him at his worst. She’d refused to walk away. What that means she isn’t sure, all she knows is that no matter what, the only place she wants to be is right there, with him.
CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE
They don’t exchange any words as Hawk parks the bike and leads them up to his studio above the body shop. Melissa has had to resist the urge to speak to him, to break the silence with what would probably be an unbelievably lame joke. Tension radiates off of him, dissuading her from opening her mouth at all until she gets to the top of the stairs.
“Are you going to talk to me at all? Or am I just going to get the Hawk Ownes Silent Treatment?” She crosses her arms and looks up at him with concern in her eyes.
“You want to talk, we talk inside, not out here.” He looks pointedly towards the shop floor and his warning about Wes bugging the place comes back to her. She doesn’t bother to tell him that Wes isn’t anywhere near hi-tech enough to pull something like that off, the man doesn’t even own a laptop! He always insisted on writing up all his notes on an old typewriter he’d found at a yard sale. When they’d first started dating, Melissa had thought it was romantic. Now she just thought it was pretentious. She doesn’t tell Hawk any of these things because she gets the distinct impression that he doesn’t want to hear her even mention Wes’s name.
She follows him through the door of his studio. He locks the door behind them and looks at her, angrier than she’s ever seen him. It�
�s different from the way he’d looked at her the night of their fight or the night at the bar. That had been hurt, betrayal. This was something else.
“What the hell was that?” He has drawn himself up to his full height, forcing Melissa to crane her neck up to look at him.
“What the hell was what, Hawk?” She keeps her tone even, taking her cue from the way Josh had spoken to him. She folds her arms so that he can’t see how nervous she is. She’d told Felicia and Josh that she would take care of Hawk and smooth things over with him. She hadn’t mentioned that she had absolutely no idea how to do that.
“Back at the lake.” He paces around, as if he has too much energy inside of him to contain. “What you said about him.” It was clear who they were talking about, Hawk didn’t need to say his name.
Melissa swallows hard, meeting his angry stare with her cool one. “Which part?” She knows that she’s baiting him, but part of Hawk’s issues stemmed from keeping things bottled up inside of him until he exploded. If he wanted to be mad at her, she at least wanted them both to know what he was mad about.
HAWK: The Caged Kings MC Page 15