Peace of Infinity

by Maegan Abel

  We connected.

  He groaned in a way that almost made me come on the spot and I didn’t have time to think about anything else. My body was pinned in place as his hands gripped my hips, moving us in perfect synchronization and leaving me helpless to do anything but hold on. I shoved my hands through his hair, tugging slightly and his body jolted as he broke our kiss. Pressing his forehead against mine, he looked at me in a way that stole any chance I might’ve had left to think.

  I whispered his name and tightened my fingers, letting my nails scrape across the warmth of his scalp. He let out a low, guttural sound that vibrated between us as he froze in place. It took a moment for my head to clear enough to wonder whether that was a good or bad sound. Our breath mingled and his eyes drifted over my face. The heat built and I couldn’t help myself, I moaned softly and tried to rotate my hips, desperately in need of movement. He sucked in a sharp breath between his teeth and squeezed his eyes closed as his fingers dug in almost to the point of pain.

  “Just…a sec,” he panted, dropping his head to my shoulder. Another jolt of energy forced me to jump as I felt his teeth there.

  Sucking in another breath, he adjusted his grip and pulled my hips out so my shoulders were the only part of me against the door. He wrapped an arm around my lower back, taking my weight there, and I tossed up a hand automatically, looking for balance. With one hand free, his thumb found my clit at the same time he pounded into me, my entire body shifting up the wood with each movement.

  “Oh God,” I whimpered, and he grunted in what I thought was supposed to be a response before all the movements shifted at once.

  When he sped the motion of his thrusts and increased the pressure on my clit, I couldn’t have stopped myself if I wanted to. I came hard, crying out his name before he captured the sound with his mouth. His body moved just a few more times before he groaned his own release, his kiss slowing as we both panted to catch our breath. It took several minutes before I became aware enough to feel the weight of Gavin’s body pinning me to the door completely once again as warmth spread between us.

  “Shit,” I said, realizing what it meant to have actually felt his release. He leaned his head back to study my face, his brow furrowed as his expression went from wary to angry. I realized he thought I meant something different. “No, I just…I’m the sober one and didn’t make you use a condom. What the fuck is wrong with me? I know better. I never have sex without protection.”

  I waited for the same clarification from him, but he just stared at me, his expression blank.

  “Please at least tell me you’re clean,” I finally said, wishing he would remove the body part in question from where I could still feel it twitching inside me.

  “It’s not an issue,” he said, his voice tight.

  “It is an issue. I mean, I’m on birth control and know I’m responsible, but I don’t know the first thing about how you live your life.”

  His face darkened and he detached our bodies, causing a small whimper to escape me, though I tried to cover the sound. He cupped my hips carefully as I leaned against the door, trying to make my trembling legs hold my weight.

  “I don’t fuck other people.” The force of his declaration drew my eyes to his. “Ever.”

  I stared, my shock apparent. He studied me for a moment, then stepped back, dropping his eyes. The already flushed skin on his face darkened and I tried to school my features, but couldn’t.

  Holy shit.

  “Wait,” I started, trying to find a full sentence in my scattered thoughts. “Are you saying I just popped your man cherry?”

  To my surprise, he chuckled, and I followed the line of his eyes to the floor. My thong lay in pieces on the tile right inside his door.

  His gaze lifted to mine, his eyes still glassy from the alcohol. A part of me wondered if he would even remember the bomb he just dropped on me when he woke in the morning.

  “We didn’t make it to the bedroom, but your panties still look fucking amazing on my floor. I can’t wait to see what this dress looks like on the bedroom carpet.” I couldn’t tell whether the subject change was intentional or he’d really moved on that fast, but he grinned and those goddamn dimples were on full display. I couldn’t resist those dimples.

  Hell, I couldn’t resist him.

  Smirking, I reached out and scratched my fingers through the rough hair on his cheek. His eyes darkened, that move having the same effect on his body as when I scratched his head earlier. “You owe me a new pair. And since they’ve discontinued that color, you’ll have to buy me the bra to match.”

  “Done.”

  He grabbed my hand, yanking me toward the back of the house and I didn’t resist. I was fully prepared to take complete advantage of this night.

  The doorframe was firm against my back and he leaned closer, his gaze gliding down my face to my lips and up to my eyes once again. My heart hammered in my chest and for a second, I wondered if he could hear it. His hands moved cautiously as he slid them to my hips, his fingers finding the strip of flesh showing from where my blouse had come untucked from my skirt. Once he was touching my bare skin, any chance I had of holding back my emotions evaporated. I no longer cared that I was only sixteen and the worries I had about what people would think if they saw us standing here on my parents’ front porch disappeared. But it wasn’t only that. It was like I could feel everything he was. I could almost tell he wanted to kiss me. He’d wanted to since he saw my face. I’m his mystery girl—the one he was supposed to find.

  And now, I really wanted him to kiss me.

  He took a sharp breath, almost like he heard me think it, and leaned in. I stood on my toes to meet him and wrapped my arms around his neck as our lips touched.

  It was like fire, this kiss.

  The way our bodies connected, recognizing one another instantly, was overwhelming and magnetic. The flame of our bond was forming as if it were a living, breathing thing between us.

  Infinity.

  No word had ever been more accurate. Or more meaningful. Or more powerful. I could feel our certainty of the moment and of us. It was in that moment I knew I belonged to Gavin Jericho. And he belonged to me.

  He pulled back slowly and I blinked, trying to find my bearings as I opened my eyes to meet his. The deep brown was so bright, I was sure I could read every thought and emotion I saw. It was like a light pouring off him and into me. His eyes were wide and he gave an awed, incredulous laugh. I realized then that my expression probably mirrored his. I saw his wonder as he reached up to touch my face and didn’t realize I was doing the same until his warm cheek was under my palm.

  He was beautiful.

  And he was mine.

  “I am,” he agreed and I made an embarrassed noise as I realized I’d said the words aloud.

  He chuckled and shook his head before leaning in again, but this time, the kiss went deeper. It pierced me, moving through my heart and into my very being.

  Into my soul.

  The tie between us was building and strengthening, connecting us in a way that felt permanent. When we broke apart, he rested his forehead against mine and our breath mingled between us. It took several moments for both of us to come down from whatever high we were riding. He swallowed and touched his lips lightly to mine once more before glancing over to the living room window.

  “Your mom is going to check on us soon. I should probably go before I get you in trouble.” He gave me a smile and the way it shone, I would’ve done anything he asked. He reached up to cup my face again, leaning in to kiss my forehead. “Goodnight, Evangelie.”

  “Goodnight, Gavin,” I whispered, turning my head to watch him walk away. I was struck once again by how beautiful and graceful he was. The fact that I was watching his backside as his slacks clung to it while he moved made me blush and I glanced down to hide my cheeks. I saw the ripped lace of my brand new bobby socks and the blood staining not only them but the white of my saddle shoes. Father would be furious if he saw the mess I made
running away from the fight at school.

  “Ev,” I heard and glanced up to see Gavin watching me from the end of the walk. He tilted his head to the side and grinned. “It’s all going to be okay now. I promise.”

  I nodded and he tipped his chin. I could almost hear his sigh before he jogged back up to me and kissed me softly one more time. When the porch light flipped on overhead, he stepped away, reaching out to squeeze my hand before turning again to leave. I leaned back against the doorframe, smiling like an idiot as I touched my fingers to my lips. I didn’t even care about the questions I was facing from my parents anymore.

  Nothing else mattered.

  I woke slowly, the veil of sleep lifting and floating away as I blinked into the dark room. It took a second to orient myself, but I was lying half on top of Gavin, my chest against his, one arm thrown over his waist. The endorphins from the dream, or from the night before, made me smile as I looked up to his face.

  It took another minute before the full weight of the situation hit. I sat up, wincing as Gavin groaned, but he rolled to his side, staying asleep.

  What the fuck was that dream about?

  I hadn’t meant to fall asleep, but after a much longer second round where we both lost the rest of our clothes, I’d been exhausted. It wasn’t that I’d never stayed over with a guy before—I did regularly if they were any good at all—but I couldn’t get comfortable with Gavin.

  Carefully, I turned to glance at him again, seeing how peaceful he looked while sleeping. Last night had been incredible. The way he moved was unreal. Everything was completely controlled and absolutely wild all at once. I’d been right before; he knew what he was doing. But it was more than that. It was so much more. Every movement I could possibly want him to make, every minor adjustment to the way he held me, even the exact moment when he pressed his thumb against my clit…it was all perfect. There was no awkwardness between us like there sometimes was during the first time—none at all.

  It was beyond amazing.

  Fuck.

  My chest constricted as the panic flooded back in.

  I’d snuck out of his house before dawn. I felt guilty for not staying, at least until he woke, but in all fairness, I warned him this was what I was all about.

  The problem was, I hadn’t expected to miss him so much. And that was just stupid.

  A part of me was waiting for him to show up or call, but it had been five days with no word from him at all. I was telling myself this was exactly what I wanted. Sex was all I was after and Gavin was great for that. I didn’t want anything else. At all. I was lying to myself, but it was the best course of action. I’d be gone soon.

  Unfortunately, not soon enough.

  My mood had been shit all week. I’d snapped at someone at work and taken out my frustration on Cara more than once. Last night, I’d argued with her for an hour while she got ready for a date with Shawn. I still knew there was something up with this guy, but in an attempt to “appease me” and prove I was wrong, Cara invited him over for dinner tonight. I wanted to roll my eyes at the entire situation. She didn’t need to appease me of anything, and the fact that she was so determined made me even more wary to be around him. I was positive he was a dick; she was the one who needed to wake the eff up. Which left me wondering what hold he had on her. There was no way his cock could be that good.

  Cara was a mess, running around, trying to make sure everything was perfect. I’d asked if I could help, but it just stressed her out more, so I sat with Stitch on the couch, watching a version of my sister who talked to herself and made hand gestures like she was answering her own questions.

  That could be a problem.

  But really, none of this was doing anything to prove Shawn was a decent guy. They’d been together for almost two years—two freaking years—so why she was worried about this dinner made no sense. At two years, weren’t couples supposed to be comfortable enough with each other that there didn’t have to be false pretenses and shit?

  Wasn’t that the whole point?

  Stitch’s head snapped up and he jumped down from his perch, ears perked and a low growl starting.

  “You need to put him in your room,” Cara said as she tried to beat Stitch to the door. I rolled my eyes.

  “How do you expect a guard dog to guard if you lock him away when the danger comes?” I asked as I met her there, wrapping my hand around Stitch’s collar and pulling him away a few steps.

  “Stop it,” she hissed at me, shaking her head and closing her eyes. She was wondering why the hell she’d set this up and it made me smile.

  Then she pulled open the door and my smile died.

  Stitch lurched forward when my grip loosened, his growling turning to excited whimpering as Gavin came into view.

  “Dear God,” I groaned, ignoring the way my lower body quivered at the sight of him in his uniform. “Danger, Stitch! Danger!” When Stitch completely ignored my call and yanked me forward, I huffed. “Worst guard dog ever.”

  “Evie!” Cara snapped, turning her attention back to the door. “You must be Gavin.”

  His grin widened to the point that I saw an actual dimple. That motherfucking dimple. I scrunched my nose. Really? Why did this dimple affect me so much?

  “She’s been talking about me?” He sounded far too amused and I decided to knock him back a step.

  “She’s been bitching about what a pain in the ass you are,” I said, stressing the word so they would stop talking about me like I wasn’t in the room.

  “I’m Cara,” she said, ignoring me and offering her hand to Gavin. “Come on in.”

  I groaned and released Stitch. “Are you kidding me right now?” I threw up my hands and shook my head as Gavin walked straight to me before leaning down and brushing his lips over my cheek. He pulled back, his smile still in place.

  “Hi.” That was it. Five days and that was all he had to say in greeting? I shouldn’t care. I really shouldn’t. But just him showing up here this way had my emotions in an upheaval. I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to feel anymore. It was all unsettling.

  I scoffed and turned to walk toward the living room, still feeling off balance, but trying to hang on to my irritation. That was safer than being happy he’d just knocked on my door unannounced.

  Again.

  “I’m making dinner to introduce my beautiful little sister to my boyfriend. If you’d like to stay, there’s more than enough,” Cara offered from the kitchen, still ignoring me completely.

  “No. Gavin is in his uniform. Gavin is probably on his way to work,” I said, turning on my heel and heading to the kitchen. Damage control. I needed to get him out of the house.

  “Actually, I’d love dinner,” Gavin said to Cara before glancing at me. “Gives me a chance to spend some time with you. I’ve missed you.”

  “Funny because—” Another knock at the door cut me off, for which I was grateful. I was about to say something that would give me away. I rolled my eyes at Gavin while Stitch went berserk.

  I jogged over to grab his collar as Cara answered the door. She greeted whom I assumed was Shawn as Stitch continued tugging against my hold, barking uncontrollably.

  “Hush,” I murmured, wishing I could pet him, but it was taking both hands to keep him back. I remembered thinking he could eat Shawn’s face and it looked like that was exactly what he wanted to do. I smirked.

  “Need help?” Gavin asked, putting himself between Stitch and the door. Stitch’s barking turned to growling as Gavin reached out to him. Unlike before, Stitch remained alert and didn’t seek Gavin’s attention.

  “I should probably put him in my room,” I said, heading that way. Stitch’s immediate dislike of Shawn just added yet another reason for me to be wary of him. I had to force Stitch into the room, followed quickly by Gavin, who shut the door behind us. “They say dogs are a good judge of character.” I shook my head.

  “I’m guessing you don’t like this guy?” he asked, his brow furrowed as he waited for my response.
>
  I looked over at him, a part of me wanting to share what I thought, but the rest of me concerned about dragging him into my family’s issues. We’d always handled things ourselves. That was our way. People outside didn’t understand. They didn’t get us. I frowned at the memories trying to surface. I didn’t want to think about that.

  “I don’t know him, but…” I shrugged.

  “Well, I say here’s your chance to get to know him. I’ll be here, so I can give you an unbiased opinion,” he offered, and I had to admit, it didn’t sound like a half bad idea. Having him as a buffer might actually help.

  “Fine. You can stay for dinner,” I said, reaching for the door handle. He stopped me from opening it with a palm to the wood near my head. His body was warm when he stepped into me, his chest against my back and face dipped to my shoulder.

  “I meant what I said. I’ve missed you.” His voice lowered into a smooth tone that made my insides clench.

  I wanted to make a smartass comment like I’d started to earlier, but his breath against my skin made me shiver and goose bumps followed right behind. “I…” I cleared my throat.

  His free hand was on my waist, then moved around my stomach and climbed higher, grazing just under the line of my bra as his arm wrapped firmly around me. “I gave you your space this week, but I have to tell you, sneaking out without saying goodbye isn’t going to fly with me. If I need to, I can remind you exactly why you should stick around.”

  Oh, I wanted him to try to remind me. I wanted it so bad, I couldn’t find words. I arched my back, my ass skimming across him enticingly as just the tip of his thumb slid under my bra.

  “We should get out there before I decide to remind you right now.” His voice was rough and husky in a way that made my toes curl in anticipation of the orgasm he hadn’t even given me yet.

  His hands slipped away and he reached for the handle, his fingers brushing over mine where they still rested on the metal. I inhaled on a shudder.

  “You’re such an ass,” I said under my breath, listening to him chuckle as I pulled myself together.