October Joy (Moments In Paradise 1)

by Melanie Wilber

  “I guess that’s our cue,” he said when one of the employees went to the front door and locked it from the inside and then began putting the chairs on the tables so he could sweep the floor.

  “I guess so,” Sarah said, seeming to just now realize how late it was. “This was nice, Andrew. Thank you.”

  They left the table and stepped outside. Andrew had already decided that once they were back at the hotel he wasn’t going to go in, not even to walk her up to her room. He was a pastor and a respectable guy who had never cheated on Annika, and he hadn’t looked at another woman with any kind of desire since losing his wife either, but he was a man who was looking at another woman now: a very beautiful and desirable woman. He had to admit that to himself. What he had done earlier, he’d done out of necessity and with the highest of noble intentions, but doing the same now would be taking advantage of Sarah, and he knew it.

  “Will you spend the day with me tomorrow, or are you all talked out?” he asked, stopping outside the front door of the hotel and dropping her arm but turning to face her fully.

  “I’d love to spend the day with you,” she said. “What did you have in mind?”

  “A drive in the country. A picnic lunch. Talking about God and how you can go on from here.”

  “That sounds nice.”

  “Dinner back here with you, and then maybe we’ll actually make it to a meeting tomorrow.”

  “I’m sorry you had to miss tonight on account of me.”

  “I’m not. This is why I’m here, Sarah. For you.”

  She hadn’t cried since leaving the hotel, except for an occasional teary-eyed moment when she talked about something especially personal, and she got that way again, allowing a few tears to spill onto her cheeks. He reached up and brushed them away with his thumb and held her cheek gently in his palm.

  “I like spending time with you, Sarah. And not just as a pastor counseling a grieving woman. But as a man.”

  She looked at him like she was petrified of him kissing her and longing for it at the same time. But he didn’t want any fear in her eyes when he kissed her for the first time, so he kissed her on the forehead and pulled her close to him.

  “Is that okay, or does that scare you?” he asked.

  “Both.”

  “Me too, Sarah. And I’m in no hurry. I just wanted you to know that.”

  Chapter Eight

  It was nearly midnight by the time James left the house. Grace hadn’t gotten him to talk much about losing one of his youth kids or about his own tragic circumstances, but she knew it was probably good he’d had someone to be with rather than going home alone. They watched a movie together, and she had a nice evening.

  “Good night, Grace,” he told her on the front porch with her standing inside the open doorway. “Thanks. Your dad was right about me needing this.”

  “He usually is.”

  He hesitated a moment and then asked her something. “How is it that you and I haven’t spent more time together?”

  “What do you mean?” she asked.

  “What are you doing this weekend?”

  “Why do you want to know?”

  “What are you doing?” he repeated.

  “Um, going to a concert on Friday. Church on Sunday.”

  “Who are you going to the concert with?”

  “Some friends.”

  “Girls or guys?”

  “Both,” she laughed. “Why are you asking me this?”

  “Are you seeing anyone right now, Grace?”

  “You mean dating someone?”

  “Yes.”

  “No.”

  “Want to go to a movie with me on Saturday?”

  “My dad’s coming home on Saturday.”

  “What time?”

  “In the afternoon, around four, I think.”

  “And later? After you’ve had some time with him? I could pick you up at seven or seven-thirty. I’ll check and see what’s playing.”

  Grace didn’t know what to say. She liked James, but did she want to do this? Did she want to go there with him? If it turned out poorly, that could make things awkward for him and her dad.

  “Hunter’s funeral will probably be on Saturday,” he pressed further. “I could use the emotional escape.”

  “My dad will be back on Saturday.”

  “I don’t want to go to the movies with your dad.”

  “I’m not sure it’s a good idea,” she said. “Can we go but have it not be a date?”

  “Why do you think it wouldn’t be a good idea?”

  “I don’t know. My dad is your boss?”

  “He tried to marry you off to me when I first came here.”

  “He did not.”

  “Oh, yes. He did. You weren’t at the office all week with him like I was.”

  “Why didn’t you ever ask me out?” she challenged him.

  “I did.”

  “You did not.”

  “I did! I asked you like five times.”

  “What?”

  He counted it out on his fingers. “I asked you to go to the movies twice, to a concert, to the summer beach barbecue, and to my sister’s wedding in San Jose.”

  She remembered the wedding, but the others were vague and had been group-oriented activities. “I didn’t know you were asking me out, I thought you were just asking if I was going--except for your sister’s wedding, but I already had plans for that day.”

  “Okay,” he said, seeming willing to forgive her for the misunderstanding. “Let me make myself perfectly clear. I’m asking you out, Grace. Will you go to the movies with me this Saturday? And not as a friend. We can do that if you want, but that’s not what I’m asking right now.”

  “Why are you asking me?”

  “Because I like you and I think you’re beautiful and I’d like to spend more time with you.”

  She wanted to say yes, and that surprised her. James was a nice guy. Funny. Easy to be with. A solid Christian. Everything she was looking for, except she hadn’t been looking for the last five years. Her role in this family and dating hadn’t gone together.

  “Come on, Grace. One date. If you hate it, I’ll never ask again and no one has to know about it.”

  “Except my dad? I might never hear the end of it.”

  “He didn’t bug you about it three years ago. He loves you, Grace. He wants you to live your own life.”

  “Do you two talk about me?”

  “No, your dad talks about you. I listen. But he doesn’t have to tell me how amazing you are. I’ve figured that out for myself.”

  “I’m not amazing. I’m--”

  “You’re amazing, Grace. And you should have someone telling you that besides your dad.”

  Grace wasn’t great about reading guys, but she could tell James was putting his heart on the line here, and if she rejected him, that would be it. He wouldn’t do it again. This was her chance to find out exactly who James Ashton was and if she could love him.

  “Okay,” she said. “Call me on Saturday and let me know what time you’ll be here.”

  ***

  Sarah took in the full view of her surroundings as she got out of the car, and she felt amazed. When Andrew said he knew of a good spot for a picnic in the country, she had no idea.

  “Andrew. How did you find this place?”

  He smiled and took the sack out of the car along with the blanket he’d brought for them to have their picnic on. “I’m an Iowa boy, remember? And this is the best picnic spot I ever found.”

  “Did you live around here?”

  “We moved from Sioux City when I was fifteen and lived about two miles that way.”

  “Did you bring Annika here a lot?”

  “We dated for a few months before we went off to college, and this was one of our favorite spots.”

  Andrew led them to a flat stretch of grass overlooking the small lake. There were some old men fishing on the other side, but otherwise it was deserted and very peaceful.

&nbs
p; “What was Annika like?” she asked, sitting down on the blanket he spread out for them.

  “Back then?”

  “Then, while you were married, five years ago?”

  He took his time answering, but she didn’t think he minded her asking. “She was a lot like you. Quiet. Sweet. Full of smiles and laughter. Someone who always thought less of herself than she should have.”

  “Why did you love her?”

  “Because she was a babe. How I ever ended up with a beautiful creature like that, I have no idea.”

  She laughed. “I know why.”

  “Because I’m so charming, right?”

  “And you know how to pick a good picnic spot.”

  Taking the food out of the sacks, he handed her the sandwiches they had picked up at a deli in town before heading to their surprise destination. He had met her for breakfast this morning at the hotel restaurant and then they walked to a bookstore they had passed by last night to find a travel guide for the city. Even though they both had been to Des Moines often, neither of them had seen the capital city as tourists.

  They had talked about maybe going to the capitol building, but they had ended up spending two hours at the bookstore. It had been months since she bought any print books or even browsed, and Andrew was a big reader, so he wasn’t in any hurry to leave either. They picked up some lunch at the deli next door before driving out here. This was the furthest from how she had imagined spending one of her days here this week, but it was a nice surprise.

  Andrew shared more about Annika as they ate. What their courtship time had been like, their early married years, and their first church in Indiana. When Sarah met Levi, she knew he wanted to be a pastor, and he had taken his first position at a church the same year they were married. But when Annika met Andrew, he was only fifteen and didn’t know what he wanted to do, and even when they started dating two years later, he had plans to go to college and become a doctor.

  He changed his mind during his freshman year at the University of Iowa and wanted to become a chemist, then three years into their marriage he felt God calling him into the ministry. They had been married for five years and had two children before he became the pastor of a small church in Indiana.

  “Did she like being a pastor’s wife?”

  “Yes and no. She liked me being a pastor and was very supportive of that, but she didn’t like all the expectations put on her. She wanted to teach children’s Sunday school classes and serve in quiet ways, but people expected her to lead this and that and be on every women’s-oriented committee.”

  “I know the feeling.”

  “She tried to do it for awhile, but then she just stopped.”

  “Stopped?”

  “Yep. She learned to say no.”

  “And she got away with it?”

  “Yes and no. We left two churches over that.”

  Sarah was shocked. “You left churches because of the expectations people put on your wife?”

  “Yes, I did.”

  “Do you regret that?”

  “Nope. I knew God had better places in store for us. A small coastal town in northern California was one of them.”

  “Andrew! I’ve never heard of any respected pastor doing such a thing.”

  “Following God?”

  “No--I mean like that. You put your wife above God?”

  “Whoa! How do you figure that?”

  “I don’t know,” she said, having to think about what she was trying to say. “Levi always said the people and God had to come first, and then we could think about what we wanted. It wasn’t about what I wanted to do but what they wanted me to do.”

  “And did Levi do that? Listen to the people instead of God? Did he let them tell him what to preach and what programs to run, or did he let God lead him?”

  She didn’t answer that. Levi had been relentless about doing things his way--which was always the right way.

  “Am I still trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.’”

  Sarah recognized the Bible verse Andrew was quoting. She wasn’t sure where it was exactly, but she’d heard it before.

  “I made a commitment to my wife to take care of her,” Andrew continued. “But when I went into churches, I never promised them my wife would be on whatever committee they wanted or doing whatever they asked of her. I didn’t promise them I would do whatever they wanted, why would I expect that of her?”

  “I guess you didn’t.”

  “No, Sarah. I didn’t. And I make no apologies. Annika’s place in the church was between her and God; not me and God, or everyone else and God. Her and God. Period.”

  Sarah thought for a moment and said something that was difficult for her to say, but she knew it was true. Not only because of what Andrew had just said, but other things she’d heard him say over the last two days. And she knew for as long as she lived she would never say it to anyone else, especially anyone who knew Levi, but she would say it to Andrew.

  “You know what you were saying last night about admiring Levi for his Biblical knowledge and insight, and how you wished you knew the Bible as well as he did?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, Levi knew the Bible, that’s for sure. But I think you know its Writer better than he did.”

  “Sarah,” Andrew protested. “I didn’t mean to say that Levi--”

  “No, Andrew. Trust me. I was married to him for twenty-five years and served beside him in ministry. I loved him dearly, and he was a good man. A good husband and a good father and a great preacher and faithful to his flock. But you know God in a way that he missed.”

  Andrew remained silent, and Sarah let her gaze rest on the sparkling blue water. It was so peaceful here. She had experienced very little peace since Levi’s death. She had peace he was in Heaven, but she didn’t have peace about her life without him. She didn’t have peace about God taking him away. She didn’t have peace about all the details she was now responsible to take care of by herself, or what she would do when the life-insurance money ran out.

  “You know last night when I asked if you enjoy God, Sarah?”

  “Yes,” she said, without taking her eyes from the water.

  “Do you?”

  “I don’t think so,” she replied honestly, letting tears flow for the first time today. “Until last night, no one has ever asked me that before.”

  “I did a message series this year on enjoying God,” Andrew went on. “You wouldn’t believe all the comment cards and emails I got from people who said we weren’t meant to enjoy God, just fear and obey him, and equally the number of notes I got from people who said, ‘I’m not enjoying God, but I want to. Thank you for your message. Tell me how to do that more!’”

  Sarah looked at him and smiled. “Do they record your sermons?”

  “Yes, they do.”

  “Can I get a copy of those messages?”

  He smiled in return. “Absolutely.”

  Chapter Nine

  “Well, Grace. You don’t have to go on that blind date after all,” Abbie said as they headed to lunch on Wednesday.

  “Mick can’t go?”

  “No. He’s going out of town to visit some old college friends in L.A.”

  “Fine with me,” she said. “Or does that mean I can’t go either?”

  “Of course you can. We’ll just eat the other ticket, unless you can find another date by Friday.”

  Grace thought of James and wondered if he might like to go. Sometimes there were youth activities on Friday nights, but not always, and with the accident yesterday, anything that was scheduled might be canceled anyway.

  “I might know of someone,” she said. “Don’t give it away until tomorrow, okay?”

  “Okay, sure,” she said. “Who?”

  “A guy at my church. The youth pastor.”

  “The cute and single one?”

  “The only youth pastor we have.
”

  “You’d ask him out?”

  “I would ask him if he’d like to go to the concert.”

  “Have you ever gone out with him?”

  “Not yet.”

  “Not yet? Does that mean you want to?”

  Grace told her about yesterday and agreeing to go out with him on Saturday. “It might be nothing. I‘m not sure I can picture us together.”

  “You can never picture yourself with anybody. Bring him Friday night, and I’ll tell you if I can picture you together.”

  “I don’t know if he can go. He might be busy, but I’ll ask.”

  “Ask him now.”

  “What?”

  “Get your phone out and call him.”

  “Okay, fine,” she said, taking her phone out of her purse.

  He picked up on the second ring, and she felt a little weird about calling him in the middle of the day, but she really did think he would like to go, especially considering how he acted last night.

  “Sure, I’d love to,” he said after she explained about one of the other people in their group not being able to go. She didn’t bother telling him it was the guy she had been set up with. “When are you leaving?”

  She started to tell him the time Abbie had told her yesterday, but then she had another thought. “Would you mind driving us? Just you and me? I need to be back by midnight for Tabitha, and I don’t want the others to rush back for me if it goes late.”

  “Sure, I can do that,” he said. “I’ll have you home by midnight so you don’t turn into a pumpkin, Cinderella.”

  She smiled. James had a sweet charm about him. “Okay,” she laughed. “You can pick me up at six-thirty.”

  “How about five and I’ll take you to dinner first?”

  She almost said no because Tabby usually needed a ride to the school for the Friday night game, but her sister could drive herself now. “Okay,” she said.

  “How’s your day going?” he asked, sounding genuinely interested.

  “Good,” she said. “You?”

  “All right. I’m going over to see Hunter’s dad and sister this afternoon. Pray for me?”

  “Yes, I’ll do that.”

  “Have you told your dad we’re going out?”