They had a huge family feast for dinner, as if it was Thanksgiving instead of a normal Saturday in October. Afterwards James took her to the beach instead of going back to the house right away. He wasn’t acting any different than he had all day, or any other time she had been with him, but he did have a surprise for her.
“What’s this?” she asked, taking the jewelry case from him.
“Just a little something I got for you.”
She suspected it was a purity ring. She had talked about getting a new one with a small diamond in it rather than the simpler one she had been given as a teenager. Opening the case, she saw a ring, but it seemed a big large and expensive for a purity ring. She looked at James for an explanation, but he was going down on one knee, and she started crying before he got the words out.
“I love you, Grace. Please marry me.”
She went down on her knees in front of him. She was the one who should be begging him to marry her. She didn’t understand how he had been so patient to wait three years for her when she had given him no indication she was interested. He hadn’t bugged her about it, or dated other women to make her jealous, or tried to use her dad to convince her to go out with him; he just waited. He had waited for her to see him. He had waited for her to be ready.
She didn’t bother with a speech about how unconventional this was or how the pace of their relationship didn’t match up with her ideals about how relationships worked. She didn’t ask him how he knew he was ready for this or how he knew she would be. She just said what her heart was screaming.
“I’d love to.”
“You would?” he asked.
“Yes,” she said, wrapping her arms around his neck. “I love you, James. And I need you.”
“I need you too, Gracie.”
They held each other for a long time. Grace knew she would never forget this moment, but she was looking forward to their future together. She knew it was going to be crazy, and there wouldn’t be a day she didn’t fear losing him, but her only other option was to shut him out of her life, and that wasn’t an option.
On the drive to the house, James said he had asked her dad for permission on Thursday. “I told him we would come into the house together if you said yes, but if you didn’t, I would let you go in alone so he wouldn’t ask you about it.”
“What did he think I would say?”
“He thought you would say yes, but I wasn’t sure.”
When they arrived, Tabby and Ryan weren’t back from their date tonight, but Daddy and Sarah were sitting in the front room, awaiting their arrival. Seeing her dad and the look of joy on his face when they walked in together, she returned his smile and couldn’t help but laugh and cry at the same moment. So many times she had told him, ‘I’m never going to be right again. My life will go on, but it’s never going to be like when Mom was here.’
It wasn’t the same, but her joy had been restored. She hugged him for a long time and Sarah also. Sarah wasn’t her mother, but she could share her joy, and in many ways Sarah would be taking her mom’s place. Sarah would be here whenever she came to visit, and she would be the grandmother her children knew. She would make her dad happy and fill the void they all needed to be filled.
Before leaving the beach, she and James had discussed possible wedding dates, and she thought the week before Christmas would be good. She didn’t have work then, and James didn’t have a lot going on with the youth group, but she thought her dad might be thinking the same timeframe for his wedding, and she didn’t want to interfere with his plans.
“How soon?” he asked.
“We were thinking around Christmas,” James said. “Unless, of course, that’s what you two are planning. We both think you should get married first.”
Her dad smiled. “We talked about it today and came up with some official plans. Sarah’s going to stay here for another week and then she’s flying home to take care of some things in Minneapolis, and we’ll get married Thanksgiving Weekend. So, if you two want Christmas, it’s all yours.”
***
Annika smiled through her tears as she watched Grace and James kneeling together in the sand. She had been as shocked as Grace to see James offering her an engagement ring this soon. She knew something significant had happened though because Tommy came pounding on her door after dinner, but she hadn’t been in a hurry to get to her last Great Window appointment, never imagining it would be something so exciting on the heels of Andrew proposing to Sarah less than a week ago.
“I miss the beach, Joshua,” she said, leaning into His side and closing her eyes, trying to imagine the smell and feel of her favorite place on earth besides The Farm. She and Andrew had gone there often, and she and Grace had too.
“Then let’s go,” Joshua said.
“What?”
“You and Me, let’s go to the beach.”
She looked at Him. “Are You serious? The beach--on Earth? We can go there?”
He laughed. “Well, I’m God, aren’t I? I made it, I think I can go there.”
She closed her eyes and didn’t ask any more questions. Joshua held her close, and she didn’t know what to expect, but she trusted Joshua to keep His word. Within seconds she felt the cool marine air on her cheeks, and she didn’t have to open her eyes to know they were there.
When she finally did, she saw the beautiful sunset on the horizon and felt the cool sand between her toes. It was like stepping back in time and being in Andrew’s arms again, and she cherished the moment.
“Look,” He said, pointing down shore.
She looked, and there they were: Grace and James, kissing each other. Grace had her hands draped around James’ neck, and Annika could see the engagement ring on her finger. She couldn’t hold back the tears. She missed her babies so much, but she also loved seeing them happy.
“She’s going to be fine, isn’t she, Joshua.” It was a statement this time rather than a question.
“They both will be,” He said.
Once Grace and James had stepped away and were out of sight, she turned toward the setting sun and rested in the comfort of Joshua’s arms. They stood there until darkness was surrounding them. Annika had forgotten what darkness was like, and she asked Joshua if they could go back now.
“Want to walk on water first?” He asked. “We could catch up with that sunset.”
She laughed. “Okay.”
Chapter Twenty-eight
“Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?” Andrew asked Sarah one last time before they headed for the airport. “I can be packed in five minutes.”
Sarah smiled. “I’m sure. I appreciate your willingness to go, but I’ll be all right. And I feel like I need to do this on my own.”
Andrew didn’t like it, but he would respect her decision. He wasn’t concerned Sarah wouldn’t return in another three weeks as planned, but he was concerned about what she might encounter in Minneapolis during that time. She was doing much better emotionally than three weeks ago when he first met her, but he feared she could be torn back down in that same amount of time.
He drove her to San Francisco, never feeling more grateful for the long drive to the major international airport. He remained quiet on the drive, but Sarah talked more than usual. By the time they reached the security checkpoint area where he had to say good-bye to her, he knew she would be fine if her current mood was any indication of how well she was doing. He didn’t think she could be faking it. Sarah was terrible at faking her emotions with him.
“I’m all right, Andrew,” she said, sensing his concern. He was trying to hide it from her, but she knew him too well. “I’m not going back alone. Jesus is with me, and I know that. You’ve helped me to know that. Don’t start doubting now. If I can do it, I know you can.”
“We’re kind of reversing our roles today, aren’t we?”
“Yes,” she laughed. “And you should consider that a great accomplishment. You have changed my life, Andrew. God has changed me. If you don’t believe
in your ability to have that much of an effect on me in three weeks’ time, at least believe in His.”
“I do, sweetheart,” he said, knowing she didn’t need anyone doubting her, most of all him. “And I believe in you too. I know you can do this, I’m just going to miss you terribly, that’s all.”
He kissed her and made it a good one. “I love you, Sarah. I know you’ll be fine without me, but I won’t be fine without you. I won’t be fine until you’re back here with me.”
“I won’t be fine without you, Andrew. I’ll make it with God’s help, but I won’t be fine until I’m back here with you either. This is home to me now, and I will miss you very much.”
He held her close. “If you need anything, I’m not more than a phone call away. I’ll have it with me and turned on all the time, even at night. Don’t hesitate to call me for any reason. Will you promise me you’ll do that?”
“Yes, I promise.”
He sighed and knew he was going to have to trust her on that.
“And I know you’ll be there in less than a day if I need that. You’re not my husband yet, but I’m looking at you that way, and I’m not ashamed to let you rescue me. Three weeks ago I was, but I had to let you anyway. I’m certainly not going to try and hold you at arm’s length now. I’m praying for some calm waters, but if all I find there is a huge storm, I’m not above running back to your secure arms.”
The drive home was one long prayer-session. He did believe in God’s ability to help Sarah with whatever she faced back home, but he didn’t want to be remiss in asking for that help on her behalf.
Going to the church, he spent the rest of the day there and didn’t get home until five-thirty. It had been several weeks since he had worked that late, but he knew it would be easier to return to the house when his daughters were already there and he could sit down to dinner with them rather than going home to an empty house. He often wished Grace would have felt more free to get out on her own, but today he was grateful she still lived at home and Tabby hadn’t gone off to college yet.
A season in their lives was coming to an end. By this time next year it would be him and Sarah with this big house all to themselves, but he wanted to cherish these remaining months he had with two of his daughters before they were on their own. And dinner that evening was enjoyable. It felt like old times when it had been just the three of them and they were each other’s world before Ryan, James, and Sarah had come into it. They had made their lives richer, and the future wouldn’t exist without them, but for tonight it felt nice and was exactly what he needed.
***
Sarah smiled when she saw Chandler waiting for her. She had specifically asked him to come pick her up and arranged her landing-time for when would be best for him. She had talked to both of her children since she and Andrew set the official wedding date, and they were supportive, but she could still hear the reservation in Faye’s voice.
Chandler hugged her, and they held each other for a long time. She’d always had a unique bond with her son she hadn’t formed so much with Faye. Chandler had been an easy child to raise. He was loving and kind, and the need to discipline him had been minimal. She tried hard not to play favorites with her children, but Faye had been a rascal from Day One and had required much more patience and guidance.
“Thanks for coming,” she said, letting the tears fall quietly down her face.
“No problem, Mom.”
She asked him how Heather and Josef were, and he said they were fine. She had something specific she wanted to ask him, but she wanted to wait until they were completely alone. Once they were headed for Chandler and Heather’s apartment, where she wanted to go first so she could see her grandson, she asked Chandler about the rumors Faye had talked about.
“Have you been hearing the same thing?”
“I heard it from Faye, and then Heather said she heard someone saying something, but I haven’t heard anything from anyone myself.”
That didn’t surprise her. There had been many times when she heard something from a woman at church, asked Levi if he knew anything about it, and he hadn’t heard a thing. Sometimes he went to the person she heard it from, asking if something was true, and they would deny knowing about it or would say, ‘Oh, I heard that from so and so, you’ll have to ask her.’
“I wouldn’t worry about it, Mom. It’s just the usual gossip-chain. I think your real friends don’t believe it.”
“I’m not worried,” she said. “God has helped me to not be concerned with what people think, but I didn’t know if you had heard anything, and I want to let you know there is absolutely no truth to any of it.”
“I know, Mom,” he said. “And Faye knows that too. She just doesn’t like it because she had absolutely no hand in any of this. If you would have given her a couple of years, she would have been the one trying to set you up with every decent eligible bachelor she knows.”
Sarah laughed and knew Chandler was probably right, but she didn’t say so. She wasn’t trying to set her children against one another, she just wanted to know how Chandler felt, and his support meant the world to her.
The rest of the evening was pleasant. She offered to watch the baby so Chandler and Heather could go to a movie after dinner, and having Josef all to herself for a couple of hours was good for her heart that missed Andrew already. She had a lot of details to take care of this week, and she knew unpredictable things were bound to happen. Once others heard she was back in town, who knew who’d be calling or dropping by unannounced while she was trying to sort through Levi’s things and pack up the house.
At eight-thirty she put the baby down and decided to call Andrew. She wasn’t at home and didn’t want him to be worried. He wasn’t yet, but he was glad she called. She told him about talking with Chandler, how her evening had been, and what she was currently doing.
“You’re going to miss him, aren’t you?”
“Yes,” she said. “But I got seven months with him. That’s more than some grandmothers get.”
“Are you sure I’m worth it to you, Sarah? Some fifty-year-old guy over a beautiful grandson? Can I really compete with that?”
“I will miss him, but I need you, Andrew.”
When Chandler and Heather returned, Chandler drove her to the house where she and Levi had lived for the last seven years. They’d never had a home of their own, just those provided by the churches they served in, but she always felt like anyplace was home as long as Levi was there. He wasn’t anymore, and the house seemed as empty as it had during the three months after he passed away, but it wasn’t empty. It was full of stuff she was going to have to either get rid of in the next three weeks or pack up to take with her to California.
She went to bed and got a good night’s rest and then went to work in the morning after a walk on the treadmill and spending some time with God. Andrew called her at ten and caught her in a weepy moment as she had begun to remove Levi’s clothes from the closet.
“I had my girls do that for me,” Andrew said. “Actually they volunteered about a year after she was gone. If they hadn’t, it would all still be in there.”
“I still miss him, Andrew. Is that okay?”
“Of course it’s okay. I’d be worried if you didn’t.”
“What do you think it will be like when we’re all in Heaven together? You, me, Annika, and Levi?”
“It will be wonderful, Sarah. We’ll never have to say good-bye to each other again.”
“I don’t want you to get the wrong impression of Levi by some of the things I’ve told you the last couple of weeks. He really was a good man. A wonderful husband to me.”
“I know he was, Sarah. That’s why this is so hard for you. That’s why you need me so much. You’re not used to taking care of yourself and being alone. And there’s no shame in needing someone to take his place.”
She wanted to ask him to come and help her with all of this. She could do it by herself, but she didn’t want to. She could make it for three weeks wi
thout him--maybe--but why should she have to do that? What was the point of trying to do this all alone?
He responded to her silence and the quiet sniffles she was trying to hide. “Do you want me to come, Sarah?”
She started crying. Andrew’s tender care of her was so loving. So needed. What was he doing in her life? Where had he come from? How did he know what she needed and what she was thinking when she didn’t say a word?
“I can come today--be there by this evening,” he tempted her.
She almost said, ‘Maybe next week,’ or ‘Your church needs you there,’ or ‘No, I’ll be fine. Don’t be silly.’ But she said what she wanted to say.
“Okay.”
He laughed softly. “I love you, Sarah. I’ll call you back and let you know when to meet me.”
“Are you sure, Andrew? You don’t have to.”
“Yes, I do, Sarah. And I’ll be there.”
Chapter Twenty-nine
Both Chandler and Faye went with Sarah to meet Andrew at the airport, and it went well. Andrew was completely himself and made a good impression without even trying. The four of them went out for dessert, and Andrew won her children over easily within an hour’s time. From there Chandler took Faye home first, and then took them back to the house. Andrew was planning to stay in a motel while he was here, but Sarah wanted some time with him before he went there tonight. They made plans to have dinner together tomorrow, and Chandler was going to be here to help them in the afternoon.
“Good meeting you, Andrew,” Chandler said, shaking his hand warmly. “It’s good of you to come.”
“Nice meeting you too, Chandler. I’m anxious to meet your wife and that grandson I’ve heard so much about.”
“They’ll be here tomorrow,” he said. “Good night.”
“Good night,” she and Andrew said together.
They waited for Chandler to pull away before going inside. The front room was clean and hadn’t been part of her packing-project yet, so Andrew saw it for the way it had been for the last two years. She wasn’t much into redecorating, but they had gotten some new furniture since moving here seven years ago.
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