He has a very similar stare to his brother. Instead of answering me he continues to size me up, making me squirm in my seat. He knows exactly what he’s doing because I can’t take the silence after a few more moments and I’ve opened my mouth, spilling everything I know.
“You want to know why I was at the bar tonight? Rowan offered me a night of fabulous fucking and I took him up on his offer. I’m not some sort of spy, I know nothing about what Neil is up to behind closed doors and I’d really like to go home.”
He’s staring at me with his eerily empty eyes and I worry that I’ve gone too far. I want nothing more than to go home right now. I definitely don’t appreciate being held at gunpoint and driven around town with a bag over my head just to talk about some illegal business Neil must be involved in and why I would ever give a fuck.
I’m sitting quietly waiting to see what’s going to happen to me next when I hear a commotion outside of the door and in the next moment it flies open, slamming against the wall.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Connor?”
Until this moment I haven’t had even a minute to process how Rowan is involved with all of this and how that makes me feel. I know I should be afraid of him and everything he represents, but I’m not. I’ve never been happier to see someone in my entire life.
“I know you’re my brother, Rowan, but you don’t get to barge in when I’m in the middle of a meeting. Even if it is with your current piece of ass.” Connor was on his feet as soon as the door flew open but it’s Rowan who seems out of control with anger right now.
“How dare you fucking touch her!” Rowan has stalked behind the desk and he has his hands on his brother’s suit. I’m wondering if this will actually go to blows or if this is a typical interaction between two brothers raised in the heart of the mob. “If you wanted to know something, you come ask me. Not kidnap my girl right out from under my nose.”
“Calm down, little brother. We needed to know if she was sent there to seduce you to find out about our business dealings.”
“You don’t come near her again,” Rowan says, releasing his brother’s suit but maintaining a menacing distance nevertheless.
Connor puts his hands up in surrender. “Whatever you say, little brother.”
Rowan comes back around the desk but stops next to my chair. I’m still sitting quietly and completely stunned. I’m surprised either of them even remembered that I was in here. He reaches out his hand for mine and I look up into his face. I can see the question there, the doubt of whether or not I’ll take his hand or tell him to fuck off.
Without hesitation I take his hand and let him lead me out of the door. Just for good measure, I squeeze his hand tightly and scurry to keep up with him before someone else decides to make me do something I don’t want to do tonight.
I’m not sure what I’m feeling when I’m finally in his car with the door closed. I’m so thankful he came to get me. Why is a mob boss kidnapping me after my second visit to Rowan’s bar? It has something to do with shady business Neil must be involved with. I’ve never seen any mention of business dealings with anyone that seemed less than legit. Now all I can think is that Neil must have secret files where he’s hiding some pretty big information about dealings with the mob. I knew that man was a complete snake.
We’re driving down the road and neither of us has said anything. What does one really say anyway? A simple no-strings arrangement sure doesn’t feel so simple anymore. If I know what’s good for me, I’ll walk away tonight and not look back.
He pulls up in front of my apartment, kills the engine, and we sit in an almost eerie silence after everything that has happened tonight.
“I don’t know what to say to fix what happened tonight besides telling you I’m sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen.” He’s looking forward, not at me, and his tone is somber. “I was an idiot to think we could have had such an easy arrangement.”
He sounds resigned to the fact that we won’t be seeing each other again. I’m not sure what I want either way. Do I enjoy being with him? Hell yes. Do I enjoy his ties to the mob? That aspect is completely terrifying to a quiet, workaholic like myself.
“Well I’m glad we had at least one night. Even if it ended badly. And trust me, Rowan, I will never forget you.” I squeeze his hand while it rests on the shifter and try to give him a small reassuring smile that I’ll be okay. But that’s all I can give him. At least he meets my eyes once more before I leave him. I try to memorize the curve of his lips, the arch of his nose, his brilliant green eyes. I know these are the things I’ll see when I close my eyes at night.
Once I’ve captured his features, I get out of the car and walk into my building without looking back.
Chapter 5
One Week Later
Like every other night this week, I let myself into my apartment using the back entrance connected to the parking garage. Without turning on any of the lights, I set my things down on the kitchen table and then move through the darkness to the front windows. Leaning to the side of the curtains, I peek around to see if his car is sitting out front again. He probably thinks I don’t know he’s there, that he’s being especially stealthy. But we have a connection and I felt it the first time we met. Sleeping together only added to the spark between us.
His car is parked a little way down the street. The same place it has been parked since he dropped me off a week ago. It has been a week since I had my first run-in with the mob. It’s hard to believe. I stand at the window for a bit longer, imagining what it is that he does in his car all night. It’s a sweet gesture, I’ll give him that. It was really the only way I was able to fall asleep that first night.
I felt panicky that someone else was going to come for me once I fell asleep. I kept getting up and checking the locks to make sure they were secure. I checked the windows…twice. It was my second time checking the window locks that I noticed a car outside. At first I nearly had a panic attack, thinking it was someone with connections to Connor McLoughlin. Then I realized it was Rowan’s car, the one in which he drove me home.
Knowing he was out there, keeping an eye on the place, was the only way I fell asleep. Now it has become a bit of a ritual for me. I come home, check to see that he’s outside, immediately feel at ease and then I go about my night. That worked well for me the first few nights. As the week has gone on, however, it’s getting harder and harder for me to stay away from him. I’ve almost caved a few times. I’ve been close to going out to his car and inviting him inside. Or just jumping his bones right there in his car.
When I think rationally, though, that’s a really crazy thing to do. I can’t get involved with someone associated with the mob. I just can’t. Never once in all the times that I’ve thought about my future have I ever thought I’d have any kind of connection to the freaking Irish mob. No way. I want kids, a career, a husband who works in an office or something else completely above board.
All of these things are going through my head while I stare outside at Rowan’s car. I’m almost ready to turn on the lights and go about my night when there’s a knock on the door.
I jump a foot until I realize that it must be Carmen. We have plans to make dinner tonight and watch some sort of trashy television. Probably drink wine or eat ice cream…whatever it takes to keep me from filling this void inside of me with something else tonight.
I check the peephole before I unlock the door. Carmen swoops in holding a brown bag in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other hand.
“I thought take out would be so much easier tonight. Who wants to cook after working all week?” she asks.
“I couldn’t agree more,” I say as I take the bag of food out of her arms. “Whatever it is, it smells delicious.”
“I grabbed some things from the new Mexican restaurant down the street from the office. People have said great things about the place. To-die-for enchiladas.”
“Yeah, Scott said he tried it for lunch last week. Snuck out of
the office for a little while. He agreed that it was amazing.” I’m scurrying around the place turning on the lights as she makes her way back to the kitchen.
“Oh, Scott. I tell ya, it’s a good thing he has such a positive attitude or he would have been eaten alive a long time ago in that place.”
“Don’t you think we’re all going to be eaten alive eventually if we keep working for that creep?”
She pops the cork out of the wine and pours two glasses. She hands one to me, takes a long drink before saying, “I guess you have a point there.”
I happily indulge in my own glass of wine. Man, it’s going down easily tonight. We’ve just opened the food and set it out on the table and my wine is already almost gone. I grab the bottle and refill before sitting down. I guess the wine is what’s filling the void tonight.
“Do you think it’s possible that Neil has ties to the mob?” I ask right before I put a fork full of chicken enchilada and rice in my mouth. “Oh man, that’s really good.”
I look over at Carmen and she’s just staring at me. “What on earth are you talking about?”
“Exactly that…do you think Neil has ties to the mob? I mean, we work in a financial institution. We deal with an insane amount of money every day. How hard would it be for Neil to have a few shady business deals going on without people knowing about it?”
“I suppose it’s possible,” she finally agrees, “but why does it even matter? It doesn’t change anything, does it?”
“Not now…but maybe eventually he’ll get himself into trouble. Then, poof! He’s gone, we get a new boss and we can all live happily ever after.”
Carmen laughs at the absurdity of it but the wheels inside of my head are turning. Neil’s a pompous ass but he’s not that smart. He rules over people in the office by being intimidating and bossy. If he were gone, the quality of all of our lives would drastically improve.
“It sounds like a pipe dream but I’d love it if it came true,” she says. “So what has you thinking about the mob, anyway? Is it from our talk about the McLoughlin family?”
“Yeah, that’s definitely what got me thinking.” I never did tell Carmen about what happened on St. Patrick’s Day. I’m sure I would have if the night hadn’t ended with me being kidnapped by the mob, but I have no idea how she would have reacted to that. But that also means I can’t tell her about the strange conversation I had with Connor McLoughlin. He obviously knows Neil but I’m just not sure in what capacity. “You helped me realize that I’m naive when it comes to people and what they’re willing to do for money, power, you name it. I just wondered what else I was being naive about.”
We finish eating our food and easily finish the first bottle of wine as well. We’re onto the second bottle of wine when we move into the living room on the couch. The television is on in the background but we end up just talking and drinking.
“You cannot drive home tonight, Carmen,” I say once our conversation has died down. “I don’t have an extra bedroom but I have a super comfy couch. It’s yours.”
“I will definitely take you up on that offer, Stella Bella.” She’s already tucking herself into the corner of the couch, giggling while closing her eyes to go to sleep.
“Let me get you a pillow and blanket before you fall asleep.” I dash into the hallway closet and pull out a few things to make Carmen’s night on the couch as comfortable as possible. I tuck the blanket around her, push the pillow behind her head and whisper goodnight.
I go into the kitchen to clean up once Carmen’s asleep. I’m buzzed from the wine and instead of it making me sleepy, I’m jittery and antsy. I keep thinking about Rowan sitting outside in his car right now and how easy it would be for me to slip outside and see him.
I’ve been fighting this urge all week. My body craves him but there’s more to it than that. I felt so comfortable just being around him at the bar. And even though it’s completely out of character for me, after I really thought about it, I didn’t have any regrets about what happened in the back room of his bar. If I’m being real, it was freaking amazing. Knock-your-socks-off kind of sex. I just wish he would have stayed with me and I could have skipped the interaction with his brother.
Just thinking about him like this has my body aching for his touch. Maybe it’s all the wine I’ve had tonight, but my willpower is gone. I check on Carmen and make sure she’s asleep. Then I grab my coat and slip out the front door.
Chapter 6
From the moment I step outside, I can sense Rowan’s eyes following my every step. I can’t see him through the tinted windows, but I can feel the heat of his stare.
I’m quick about moving around the car and slipping into the passenger side. I close the door behind me and turn to look at him. He’s looking at me in a way that makes me want to shed my clothes and climb on for a ride.
“Hi,” I say simply.
“You shouldn’t be here, Stella.” His voice is quiet and gravelly. I can sense the struggle going on inside him because it’s inside of me too.
“I tried to stay away. I can’t.” I want to reach over and take his hand. I want to feel his skin on mine, feel the electricity that flows from our bodies when we touch.
“I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. Make sure they’re going to leave you alone,” he says.
“Thank you,” I say. It comes out quietly and to my ears it sounds like someone else talking. Who is this woman sitting in a near stranger’s car waiting to be seduced? And why does it make me feel so good inside that he’s looking out for me?
“Come inside,” I say.
“You have company.”
“Would you come inside if I didn’t have company?”
He takes a deep breath. I’m sure he’s going to deny it but I know better. “You need to stay away from my family. And that includes me, I’m part of the family.”
“I can handle whatever’s going on, Rowan. I’m a big girl. I get to make that decision.”
“You shouldn’t have to handle it. You deserve better than that.”
“I want you. At first it was just for sex. But then I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you all week. You’ve completely taken over my thoughts. I realized that I walked into your bar for a reason that night. I know you feel it too,” I say, moving closer to him in the car and letting my hand caress his. “Tell me you feel it too.”
I wouldn’t push so hard if I didn’t know for sure he felt it too. Besides, I know what I need tonight and I’m not taking no for an answer. I see the conflict on his face.
“You’re killing me, Stella,” he finally says.
“I know, but it’s you or ice cream.”
“What?” he asks, looking at me with a quizzical stare.
“If I can’t have you tonight, I’ll go inside and eat ice cream instead. It’s what I’ve had to do every night to keep myself from coming out here and jumping your bones.”
It’s nice to see him smile for once. I get the impression that he deals with a lot of stress in his life. I’m not sure what role he plays in the family business but I do know he’s trying to do the right thing.
“Touch me one more time, Rowan. Just once more.”
I’ve finally pushed him far enough. He reaches over and pulls me into his arms, gripping my hair and pressing our mouths together in a desperate kiss. Wrapping my arms tightly around his neck, I hold onto him like my life depends on it, kissing him back with an equal amount of intensity.
He breaks the kiss and leans down. For a confusing second I think he’s stopping and I’m about pull his face back up to mine. Then his seat slides as far back as it’ll go and he grabs my hips and pulls me onto him so I’m straddling him.
“I can’t resist you,” he says. “You’re my kryptonite.”
His hand slides up under my shirt, his fingers tugging at my bra to reach the soft, full breasts quivering for his touch. He starts massaging my breast, letting his fingers brush over my nipple. My kisses become more aggressive and I can’t stop mys
elf from rocking against his hard cock as it presses against me. I’d give anything to be able to get out of these jeans right now.
“You’re worth the risk,” I say as an intense feeling starts to build in my pussy. I’ve been keeping myself from him for too long. I’m going to lose control too quickly and then it’ll be over. I need to make it last. I push back off of his lap a little, easing the pressure so I can slow things down.
My plan backfires when he takes the opportunity to unbutton my pants so he can slide his hand into my panties. My nails dig into his shoulders when his finger slides inside of me. I moan with abandonment when he slips another finger in with the first.
“This is all for me, isn’t it?” he asks, thrusting his fingers in and out while I press my clit against his palm. “This pussy is mine.”
His fingers are magic and having him claim me with his words and his body makes me lose control. I’m riding his hand, letting his fingers fuck me when I come. I orgasm, pleasure bursting inside of me like fireworks, while I answer him. “Yes, yes, Rowan…yours, all yours.” And this time I mean it. Not just for tonight but for however long I can have him. If I had my senses about me, I’d be embarrassed at how fast I come when I’m with him.
“That’s right, baby.” He kisses me deeply while I ride out every last bit of pleasure. After a minute his hands rest on my ass, pulling me tightly against him again. My fingers explore his square jaw and chiseled features. I linger on his scar, tracing my fingers up and down.
“How’d you get this?” I ask, kissing it softly. He tenses subtly so I’m incredibly interested to know the story behind it.
“You know, reckless boy stuff.” He kisses me again, the classic distraction for changing the subject. I maneuver myself back into my seat but instead of getting ready to go home, I unbutton his pants. “You don’t have to do that, Stella,” he says, holding my hands in place.
Kiss Me I'm Irish: A St. Patrick's Day Novella Page 3