“What are you up to?” a voice asks, making me jump out of my skin and spin around to face Jayme.
I collect myself. “What’s back there?” I stab my thumb over my shoulder at the door.
“When you’re ready, Willow will show you.”
“I’m ready right now.”
Jayme’s lip curls up into a sneer. “You expect trust from us, but the road goes both ways.”
“You have access, don’t you?”
Jayme crosses his arms and juts out his chin. “She trusts me.”
“Aren’t you special. Any chance you will open it for me?”
Jayme’s indifferent expression is answer enough.
I roll my eyes and head back down the hallway.
Jayme grabs my arm, tugging me to a stop. “This isn’t a game, Ugene. People die if we aren’t careful.”
I yank my arm free. “Got it.”
Miller trusts him, and I want to as well, but Jayme clearly has some sort of dislike for me, which leaves me uneasy about trusting him.
Rubbing my arm, I return to my quarters to find Enid and Leo waiting at my table. The moment I step through the door, Enid jumps up and rushes over, taking my hand and pulling me toward the table.
“You need to see what we found today,” she says, keeping her voice low. We are all very aware that someone could be listening.
I allow her to guide me to the table. Enid glances toward the door, but Leo is already moving to close it. She spreads out blueprints on the table, and I lean closer. In the bottom corner, thick, blocky letters read: Paragon Tower. The first sheet shows the tower in slices, level by level. Circles and X’s in red marker identify out structural points in the tower. I flip to the next sheet, marked “Lower Level,” and note the same red marks.
“Where did you get this? What is it?” I ask, turning my gaze up to Enid and Leo.
“I stole it from Willow’s quarters,” Enid says. “I was hoping you would understand it.”
“You stole this from Willow?” I quickly roll it back up and shove it toward her. “Enid, you need to return this. She will notice it missing.”
“What is it?” Enid asks, grabbing the rolled-up blueprints.
“I don’t know, but we can’t keep this. You shouldn’t have taken it. If we get caught with it Willow will punish us for sure, and I have no idea what they do as punishment here.”
Leo shifts anxiously and thrusts a set of sheets at me. I hesitate to take them this time.
“Where did you get it?” I ask.
Leo chews his lip. “Research. They’re up to something. I don’t comprehend it.”
“Enid, take those back.” I wave her toward the door. “I’ll make some notes about it in my notebooks.”
She nods, hustling toward the exit, but I take her hand and pull her to a stop. “Please, be careful. If you’re caught with those…”
“I know. If I’m not back in thirty minutes, find me,” she says, then squeezes my hand and leaves.
Leo nods at the papers in his hand. “I copied these myself. No one will miss them.”
Maybe the Protectorate is planning to infiltrate Paragon Tower, and the marks are access points. I take the sheets from Leo and sink into the empty chair, reading the first page, filled with chemical formulas. None of it makes sense. I understand chemistry well enough, but some of these bonds are unlike anything I’ve seen before. One of them does make sense though. It’s a chain that breaks the linking mechanism that creates Powers. Without that link, Powers won’t work. But the rest I need time to decipher.
Leo clears his throat. “Anyway, I’m gonna go.”
I wave a distracted hand at him as I review the next sheets. The two sheets both have a drawing of a DNA strand. I lean over the drawings, trying to glean some kind of information from them.
The differences between the two strands aren’t obvious at first. Both have disconnected linking mechanisms in the chain that brings Powers together. But the longer I stare at them, the more I realize that there is one significant difference.
“This is amazing,” I say.
Enid returns from her own mission and flops down on the bed facing me. Her dark brown eyes lock onto my own, shining. The intensity of her gaze traps me and makes the hair on my arms rise. Why is she staring at me like that? Time just sort of passes as we sit like this until the weight on my chest fills me with panic. I clear my throat and look away.
Enid licks her lips and ducks her head, but I can see the heat in her cheeks. “What’s amazing?” she asks in a small voice.
“Assuming Leo’s drawing skills can be trusted, one of these DNA chains is only broken.”
“Meaning what?”
“Someone who lost their Power hasn’t lost it completely.” I lean close to the drawing. “The linking mechanism that makes the Power work isn’t gone or misaligned. Just disconnected, like a power cord that just needs to be plugged in again.”
“Can it be plugged back in?”
I chew my lip, scanning the entire drawing critically. “I don’t know. But if I could get a hold of the actual sample, I could probably try to extract some kind of coding from the DNA that will help me address where and how this is disconnected. And if I can find that, I can find out how to reconnect it…maybe.” If this is someone who lost their Power, then maybe this is Miller’s DNA. It could be too much to hope for, but I haven’t encountered anyone else who obviously lost theirs. Dr. Lydia said there were a few others who lost their Power as well, and there’s a chance this could be theirs, but it makes sense that Miller, being the most recent person to lose their Power, would be investigated closest right now. “I need to get a hold of the real sample.”
“Mm-hm,” Enid says, pulling the blanket over her.
The other DNA strand, however, isn’t as promising as the first. I’ve looked at this strand enough over the years to know exactly what I’m looking at. It’s my sample. It must be. I’ve never seen another structure that appears like this one. The alignment is completely off.
I sink back in the chair, scrubbing a hand over my face, and open my mouth to explain all of this to Enid, but she’s asleep, something that still eludes me. Not wanting to wake her, I step out onto the metal gangway.
“You’re an idiot,” Jayme says from behind me.
I jump out of my skin and spin to see him leaning against the railing not ten feet away. Miller slouches over the rail, staring straight down. He glances over his shoulder at me with a hint of amusement on his face, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.
Jayme snickers, but I don’t really know what’s so funny.
“I’m a what now?” I ask.
“An idiot,” Jayme says again.
Miller nods in agreement.
Jayme is laughing. I don’t find it very funny.
“He doesn’t get it,” Miller says, rolling his back against the rail and leaning backward in a way that makes me uncomfortable. “Look at his face.”
Jayme pushes off the rail. “She’s obviously into you.”
“Who?”
Miller scoffs. Jayme slaps a hand over his face. Their amusement is getting a bit old, fast, and I’m not in the mood.
“Enid,” Miller says, waving a careless hand toward my quarters.
“What? That’s…but she’s…” I sputter like an idiot, proving their original point. Heat fills my cheeks. They must be wrong. We’re just friends, close friends, and she’s been there to comfort me through all of this, offering hugs, holding my hand.
But the way she looked at me…The hair on my arms raise again, and my heart hammers against my ribs as I stare at Enid sleeping in my bed.
Miller gives another halfhearted smile, and the way he points at me feels incredibly sarcastic. “There it is.”
All at once, a chill rolls down my spine, and my hammering heart is seized in a fist of guilt. I step back toward my open door, shaking my head.
“Your door was open, dude,” Jayme says. “Not sure why she was on your bed, but she sure wants to be there.
”
“Nothing happened,” I say, stepping over the threshold.
“We respectfully disagree,” Jayme says.
“It doesn’t matter. Nothing happened and nothing will.”
Jayme steps up to my doorway and leans against it, keeping his voice low enough that Enid won’t hear, thank god. “Why not? Are you blind? She’s strong, smart, pretty, and for some dumb reason, she’s into you. Why wouldn’t you make a move?”
I stop, my feet suddenly too heavy to lift, and an overwhelming ache presses down on my chest. “Bianca.” I didn’t think about her the whole time Enid was in my room. I should have.
Jayme casts a questioning glance at Miller, who sighs.
I stare at my shoes, willing my feet to move. Silence settles between us, filled only by other residents of The Shield returning to their own quarters. Shoes scuff the plate-metal floor, then Miller’s hand falls on my shoulder. “Look, Bianca’s gone. She’s not coming back. Enid is here. Do you really think Bianca would want you to sit around lamenting what never was?”
I can’t help it. Bianca was the center of my universe for so long. It doesn’t just go away. I slide Miller’s hand off my shoulder and wave him toward the door, then walk over to the scanner to close it.
Miller shrugs and moves back over the threshold, joining Jayme. “It’s okay to move on. No one will judge you for it.”
“I will,” I say, as I activate the scanner and close the door, then hit the button to engage the lock.
I slip onto the bed beside Enid, careful not to bother her and far too aware of just how close she is to me here.
~
In the morning, I’m more refreshed than I have been in a long time. For the first time since I arrived at Paragon, my sleep was dreamless. Enid smiles at me as she steps out of the bathroom, a shy sort of smile that makes those hairs on my arms raise.
“I can’t remember the last time I slept so well,” she says, slipping her shoes back on.
I swing my legs over the bed and do the same. “It’s been a while.”
We head to breakfast together. There’s no handholding or anything. In fact, the space between us feels awkward. Does she want me to hold her hand? Uncertainty keeps me from reaching out. As does the memory of Bianca.
11
The puzzle continues nagging at my mind, and I keep the DNA structures in the pocket of my jacket as if having them close will reveal what I am missing. What am I missing?
The days blend together as I continue to try and figure out what the Protectorate is doing, and what that chemical bond Leo gave me is about. Enid comes to my room every night. Sometimes we talk until we fall asleep. Sometimes we don’t say a word, instead taking comfort in each other’s presence. Nothing ever happens. We are both just as awkward around each other as ever, and Enid keeps a friendly distance between us. Every morning, Enid and I discuss our plan for the day, where each of us will hunt for information. Every night after dinner, the two of us meet in either her quarters or mine to go over what we learned.
One afternoon, I sit at the table with Celeste’s book, The Fabric of the Cosmos, and start reading. Most of the pages are littered with notes in the margins. Comments about how Newton’s laws of motion are not entirely correct, We are always everywhere, and how the theory of relativity is almost correct. Time is not linear. Celeste took a lot of time reading, digesting, and picking apart the text. I can’t help but wonder why.
At the end of one chapter, Celeste left a note on key points in the chapter.
Remember the stars.
Again, it feels like she is speaking to me, reminding me of the stars we used to watch in her room at Paragon.
The rest of my friends have fallen into daily habits, gotten comfortable with life in The Shield. Madison drifts from department to department, moving from one small cluster of Paragon defectors to another as she seeks out the spy. After weeks, we have only a handful of leads and all of them run to dead ends. I’m no closer to finding the spy now than I was when I started searching.
After breakfast, I head back to my quarters today to review my notebooks before heading to the upper levels to try and sneak into the lab and find out exactly what Leo says they are concocting up there. On the way, I pull out the sheet with the formula on it and read it for the thousandth time. The answer is there, tickling at my mind.
I place my hand to the pad and the door slides open.
Madison half-leans over the table, over my notebooks, appearing caught in the act of something as she stares at me. She’s paralyzed by her own fear.
“What are you—?”
My head begins to swim and pressure builds in my temples until I’m quite certain I will be sick. My legs shake. A wave of dizziness slams against me. I’ve only felt this sort of sickness and pain once before when Terry tried to force his way into my mind. I stumble back a step, leaning against the doorframe for support. Madison fills my growing tunnel vision. Sweat beads on her forehead.
“Ugene, why can’t I read you? Not even on the surface.” Madison drops one of my notebooks and glides around the table toward me. “I can hear your thoughts when you share them with me, but otherwise there’s nothing.”
For some reason, no one can read me. Terry tried in Paragon, as did Dr. Cass’s assistant, Hilde. I really don’t have an answer for her, nor do I have the brainpower to sort it out right now.
“Madison…” Her name barely escapes my lips. All this time, I had the spy looking for the spy. No wonder she never found anything. Despite the pressure on my temples, I manage to scream, unable to form real words. Hopefully, it will call someone to my aid.
Madison crouches in front of me, snatching the formula out of my hand and reading it over. “What’s this?”
I press my back against the wall, struggling against the intensity of her trying to force her way in. She waves the paper in my face.
“I need answers, Ugene. You don’t understand what’s at stake here if I fail.”
“You okay in here?” Noah steps through the doorway, freezing when he sees Madison crouched in front of me.
Madison launches herself to her feet and rushes out the door, bumping Noah on the way. Her shoes pound on the metal gangway as she flees.
“Stop…her…”
Noah takes off after her. A moment later, the gangway rattles with a thunderous thump, and the pressure on my head disappears. Rosie steps into my quarters and crouches in front of me, pressing her hands to my temples. Her healing moves in swiftly without Madison’s meddling, and the room rights itself again.
But as Rosie pulls away and I rub at my forehead, the ill sensation doesn’t disappear with the other symptoms and I’m completely drained of energy.
“What happened?” Rosie asks, picking up my formula and holding it out to me.
“Madison’s a spy,” I say, then suck in a cool breath of stale air.
Rosie’s face scrunches up. “For the Protectorate?”
She glances toward the door as Noah lugs a limp Madison back into the room.
“No. Paragon. Or the Directorate. I don’t know for sure which she worked for.”
Noah drops Madison on the ground in a careless way that makes me wince.
“I asked Madison to figure out who it was, not knowing it was her the whole time.” I rub at my temples, then tuck the formula back into my jacket pocket.
Rosie offers me a weak smile, but her heart isn’t in it. She and Madison were friendly, and I’m not sure how close they were. Did she know? “I’ll get someone to collect her,” she says, motioning toward Madison on the floor.
I nod stiffly.
Noah helps me off the ground and we sit together at the table. My gaze continues to drift back to Madison, a weight of sadness pressing down on my chest. I trusted her. Why do I keep trusting people only to have them betray me?
“Hey,” I say, a feeble attempt at starting a conversation.
“Hey,” Noah says back, casting a small smile.
“I wanted to sa
y thanks.” Well, that could be more awkward.
“For what?”
“Back at Paragon, when everyone else fled, you stayed to fight with us,” I say. “You didn’t have to. And I just wanted you to know I appreciate it.”
Noah shrugs. “It was the right thing to do. Besides, what kind of Strongarm runs from a fight?” He grins.
“A smart one.”
We both chuckle softly.
“In all seriousness,” I say, leaning back and slumping down in the chair. “You still stuck with us. I don’t know why, but I do think it’s pretty awesome.”
“I stayed that night for the same reason I’m going to Pax with you,” Noah says. “I believe in you. We all do.”
For a moment I stumble over my own thoughts. “What?”
“The way you stepped up and organized all of us when no one else could,” he says, ticking off on his fingers as he continues. “The way you understood what was happening just about every step of the way. When we were trapped in the lobby after that sandstorm, you could have easily led all of us straight to the exit, but you waited. Where others would have abandoned the stragglers to the storm, you refused to leave anyone behind. Even people you didn’t know. And right after losing your dad, you still rallied all of us together.”
Everything he says feels like a lie. I led the group because they wanted me to. And any decent person wouldn’t leave others behind. Besides, I didn’t lead everyone out. “We lost sixty percent of the people who left that valley. You call that victory?”
“You can’t expect to enter battle without some casualties along the way,” Noah says as if that excuses anything. “You need to stop looking at your failures and start looking at your victories. We see them. That’s why we follow you.”
“What if I told you we’re going to lose?” My words hang heavy between us. Just because I got lucky a few times doesn’t mean I will lead any of them to the life they deserve. I don’t even know how to do that.
Madison stirs once as we wait for Rosie to retrieve help. I freeze, but Madison doesn’t wake. However Noah knocked her out, it’s effective.
I can’t stop thinking about Madison as the spy. Was she a spy all along, before she introduced herself to me? She must have been because I didn’t meet her until we were trying to escape. I needed a Telepath, and she stepped forward from the crowd. If she was the spy all along, did she purposely lead everyone into PSECT security hands on floor 189? Security was waiting, as were Dr. Cass, Forrest, and a handful of others. Was Madison responsible for walking everyone into the trap that cost Mo and seven others their lives? And if she has a way to communicate with Paragon or the Directorate somehow, what do they know about this place? Do they know about my mom and Harvey helping us escape recapture?
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