With everyone’s attention now on Miller and what just happened, I caught a glimpse of movement, watching as Enid slips out of the room.
32
While the others discuss Miller’s recovery and offer congratulations, I manage to make excuses and leave, searching for Enid. Since Bianca’s return, we haven’t really had a chance to talk. I need to make sure she isn’t angry. I need to make sure she knows how I feel. How do I feel?
The DMA shuttle takes up most of the garage. Light from the setting sun filters through the heavily curtained window, casting a muddy brown light in the space.
“Enid?” I take the single step down from the doorway and peer around the edge of the shuttle.
She quickly wipes her hands on her pants and clears her throat before turning to face me. “Yeah.”
The last thing I want is to make her cry.
“Are you okay?” A terrible start and dumb question.
Enid raises an eyebrow. “Seriously?”
I rub my neck. “Sorry. I know Bianca coming back from the dead has…complicated things,” I say, unsure where else to start. Somehow, I need to find the right words to fix this.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She crosses her arms and juts out a hip. Enid is doing what she did at Paragon—blocking out what’s happened between the two of us as if it never happened.
I sigh. “Please don’t do that. I would like to think I know you, and that I’m not that stupid.” I step closer and reach for her.
Enid steps back and raises her chin.
I offer a sheepish smile. “Okay, maybe I am that stupid.”
I hold my hand out and wait. Enid considers it for a long time. Maybe she doesn’t see this…whatever this is…the same way I do. I drop my hand.
“What am I supposed to think?” she asks. “You’ve hardly said a word to me since Bianca’s miraculous return.” Enid shakes her head and slouches. “I get it, okay? I was never your first choice. Better that we both accept that now and move on.”
My heart sinks. For years, I was infatuated with Bianca, the girl next door, the girl I could never have. While Bianca may be back, the girl I knew is gone. But Enid is still here. She’s been here since the start, following me, trusting me…believing in me. And I was so blinded by Bianca’s presence—so eager to gain her attention—that I never noticed Enid doing the same thing to me.
I do still love Bianca. Erasing her memories doesn’t erase my own, but in almost every sense, she’s gone. She’s changed. Or maybe I have. The way I feel around Enid is different. I wanted Bianca and losing her left a hole in my heart. I need Enid in a way I’ve never needed anyone else before. Losing her would be like losing air. I can’t survive without it—and I can’t survive without Enid.
“What are you staring at?” Enid asks tersely, cocking her head to the side and regarding me like I’ve lost my mind.
“Enid…I…” Words once again fail me. I have no idea what to say to her, how to organize my thoughts or express them to her. “Nothing has changed.”
Enid blinks and flinches back. “You don’t seriously believe that.”
“Okay, one thing has changed.”
“Ugene, I know how you feel about her, but she isn’t the girl you knew. For all you know, taking her to see her parents could be walking right into a Directorate trap.”
“I know, but that’s…that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about us.” Why is it I can break down a DNA chain, but I can’t figure out how to talk to girls? It can’t really be that much more complicated.
“Us?” Enid’s tone is dubious. “I’m not stupid, so don’t treat me like I am. There is no us. There never was. Let’s be adults about this and just…move on.” Her words are laced with bitterness.
My heart sinks into the pit of my stomach, and not in a good way. “No. I don’t think you’re stupid. I think you’re brilliant. And Bianca’s back, but—”
“But what, Ugene? Are you going to tell me that you suddenly don’t feel that way about her anymore? That you want me?” The emphasis she places on the last word is incredulous like she would be the last choice anyone would make.
But she isn’t.
“Yes.” The word falls out of my mouth.
Enid freezes, blinking at me. “What?”
I step closer, taking her hand.
She doesn’t withdraw.
“I do want you. More than anything else. More than anyone else.” I pull her small body against me.
Our gazes tether.
I slide my arm around her waist, and she tenses in my arms. My hand slides up, cupping her cheek in my palm. For once, I’m not sweating. I’m not nervous. It isn’t just a spark of electricity running through me, but longing, like I’ve been waiting for this moment. As I lean closer, Enid’s hand glides along my arm, leaving a trail of warmth in its wake before her fingers wrap around my forearm. She pops up on her toes and a rush of exhilaration surges through me as our lips meet. It’s soft, intoxicating. Nothing else exists. The last thing I want is for this kiss to end.
When Enid breaks away, her hands still cling to me. I press my forehead to hers.
Her lips part as she prepares a protest, but I kiss her again, hoping it will cast away her doubts.
“I want you,” I say the moment our lips part, then kiss her cheek.
Enid nuzzles into my neck and it gives me shivers. Really good shivers! My fingers slide into her silky black hair, and I kiss her temple.
“Can we just stay right here all night?” Enid says against my skin.
The weight of reality presses down on my shoulders and, not for the first time, I wish I could just hide from all the troubles coming our way. “I wish.”
Enid pulls back just enough to gaze into my eyes.
The intensity and longing from her make me immediately regret my words. I can’t help but grin. “Well, maybe a little longer.”
~
The garage is pitch black when my eyes open. Enid and I had stretched out together in the back of the DMA shuttle, enjoying as much alone time as we could steal before Willow tries to send us back to The Shield—or before I make my stand against Willow.
I don’t want to wake Enid, but it’s nighttime, which means our time is running out.
“Enid.” I nudge her awake.
Enid nuzzles against my chest and mumbles, then turns her eyes up to mine and places a kiss against my lips.
“It’s time,” I say as soon as the kiss breaks and before either of us can do it again.
Enid grumbles but sits up. My body abruptly feels very cold without her. What if this was it? What if we don’t see each other after tonight? This will work. It has to.
The two of us head back into the house, where Miller and Jayme are sitting close together at the kitchen table. I hesitate when they look up, expecting to get more of Jayme’s anger despite healing Miller’s broken Power. Jayme doesn’t move, though.
“Welcome back,” Miller says, grinning at us. “We wondered where you disappeared off to. Found you making cozy in the garage.”
Enid’s face turns bright red.
“Relax, we’re all adults here,” Miller says. He sounds more like himself now.
Jayme rises and I take an unconscious step backward as he closes the distance between us.
“I owe you an apology,” Jayme says. “I’m not sure why you both are so close, but I’m glad you are.”
“You don’t owe me anything,” I say, waving off his apology. “I don’t know if I would have survived Paragon without him, and I don’t know if he would have survived without the hope of seeing you again.”
“He…” Jayme bites his lip, stuffing his hands into his jacket pockets. “He’s everything to me. I didn’t even know who I was until I met him. When Paragon took me in for that last experiment, I thought that was it, and all I cared about was that I would never see him again. They threw me out when the experiment failed. Like garbage. Thought I was dead until Chase found me in the
Deadlands in a pit with…” Jayme stops and presses his thumbs against his eyelids. “… With other bodies.”
My stomach twists. Enid’s hand tightens in mine. They literally threw him into a pit of bodies?
Jayme shakes as he pulls his hand away from his face, tucking them into his armpits. His eyes are reddened. “I went back to that pit so many times, scared of finding him in it.”
Anger brews in my stomach. How many others suffered as he did…or worse?
“Then he shows up with you, and it seems like you’re all he talks about,” Jayme says. “After all that fear and misery, I found him again only to worry I’d lost him anyway. But you brought him back to me. Three times.”
I glance at Miller, who nods once, then looks back at Jayme.
Enid nudges me, and I follow her gaze to the clock. It’s only eight, but I have no idea what time Willow plans to get us out of here.
“I have an idea,” I say.
33
The idea is simple enough. Take Bianca to her parents, pray they don’t turn me in and convince her father to help me share the truth about what the Directorate and Paragon are up to with the entire city. The best way to slow or stop the Directorate is to get information to the masses before it’s too late. I explain that Mr. Pond is in charge of the network, and maybe he can either broadcast the news for me or help me connect with Elpida Theus, the famous newscaster.
“Ugene, she’s been missing for at least two weeks,” Jayme says.
“Missing? Why?”
Jayme glances toward the kitchen doorway, then leans over the table as if sharing a secret. “We shared information with her about what really happened at Paragon the night you guys escaped. As far as we knew, she was launching a secret investigation, but we never heard from her again. The Directorate blamed her disappearance on us. It probably was partly our fault for sending her down such a dangerous path, but Willow and Doc are convinced Elpida was too close to getting to the truth so the Directorate silenced her.”
The implication is clear in the way he says it. Elpida is probably in one of those body pits Jayme mentioned earlier.
“Then I will have to convince Mr. Pond.” It’s not what I wanted, but it’s the best option I have. “If I can share the truth with the city, the Directorates’ grip on the city will evaporate. But to get him on our side, I need to take Bianca to him and Willow will never go for it. She’s angry with me and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t trust me.”
“Willow wants to get everyone back to The Shield soon,” Jayme says. “Especially you.”
“I know. But I can’t go. I don’t think any of us should. We can’t afford to retreat anymore. The Directorate is taking action now, and Willow intends to save only a handful of the people who need Protectorate help. We need bodies here in the city, fighting back, not retreating. Which brings me to my next point.” I hold my breath, expecting an argument. Instead, Jayme stares at me expectantly. I let out a breath. “I need to go alone.”
“Like hell,” Jayme says at the same time Miller says, “Over my dead body”, and Enid says, “Excuse me?”
I raise a hand to quiet their protests. “I realize the risks involved, but the more people we have with us when we leave Pax, the more suspect we will look. Besides, Mr. Pond knows who I am. He doesn’t know any of you. Imagine a group of extremists showing up in your home unannounced.”
“Ugene, that guy has been broadcasting your face everywhere,” Jayme says. “There’s no way you will make it to the other side of town without being noticed.”
“I don’t need to get across town,” I say. “I just need to get to the metro.”
“Even if you do make it to his house, Pond is in the Directorate’s pocket,” Jayme says. “He won’t turn against them. It could ruin him and his family.”
“His family is already falling into ruins. Besides, I know him. Mr. Pond is a decent man. He might be in their pocket, but if the truth strikes close to home he might reconsider.” Probably. “Especially once he finds out what they did to his daughter.”
“Might?” Jayme snorts. “And let’s say he does know what happened to his daughter—”
“He doesn’t,” I say confidently, recalling how Mom said they took the news of Bianca’s death hard.
“Fine,” Jayme waves off the protest. “He still knows his son works for Paragon, and he can’t possibly be ignorant of what his son does there. You’re asking him to choose between his two children.”
“If we can’t get to the network, there’s no way we can make this city aware of what’s really going on,” I say.
“Ugene, you can’t go alone,” Enid says, shaking her head adamantly.
“I won’t be alone. Bianca will be with me.”
Miller snorts.
Enid slaps her palms against the table in defeat. “She could be a spy. We have no idea if we can trust her or not.”
“I know. I realize the risk, but we don’t have a choice.” How can they not recognize that?
Enid shifts impatiently in her seat. “We do! Don’t go alone with her!”
Miller tilts his head to look at Jayme, whose brows are drawing tighter and tighter. I turn in my chair and put a hand over Enid’s. “You told me that I saved those people from Paragon. Willow and Doc keep telling me that I’m looking at the small fish instead of a much bigger one in the pond. It’s time for me to do for this city what I did for the test subjects.” Not that I’m sure how to do it yet.
The argument effectively silences Enid. I look at all three of them, my friends, afraid that Jayme is right and I’m walking them all to their doom. “I started this fight. Now it’s time to finish it.”
Miller rubs his chin, processing my plan and shaking his head.
“I need you all here,” I admit. “For several reasons. First, Willow will try to stop me. I need you all to keep her attention so Bianca and I can slip away before Willow locks us up and sends us back to The Shield. Second, once I do make the broadcast, the Directorate will send DMA troopers out in full force to try and push their agenda ahead before we can stop them. That means Pax will need your full attention and support. Send word to The Shield to rally as many people as you can to back you up. Third, I think Willow is up to something.”
“She’s in charge of the Protectorate,” Jayme says. “Of course she’s up to something.”
I shake my head. “This is different. When she was meeting with the operatives before I walked in, they were talking about something that seemed pretty sketchy. Plus, Enid found schematics of Paragon with strange marks on them. It can’t be a coincidence. Please. I just want you guys to stick close and keep an eye on her.”
Miller’s mouth curves up in the corner at the mention of Enid finding something so secret. Jayme, though, doesn’t seem nearly as amused.
“Last time I helped you on a covert mission someone died,” Jayme says.
The reminder of Noah makes me grimace.
“Noah once told me that you can’t expect to enter battle without some casualties along the way,” I say. “I hate that we’ve lost people and I can’t guarantee we won’t lose anymore. But unless we stop the Directorate now, many others will continue suffering. And they’ll eventually find us anyhow. This is what Doc would want me to do. He told me that I needed to think bigger when I talked about leading my people from Paragon. This is what he was talking about. I’m thinking bigger. Better to—”
“Ugene!” Willow storms into the room with the reports Dad left clutched in her raised hand. “What is this?” She slaps them down on the table.
I try to scoop them up, but Willow swats me away.
“We were looking for you earlier,” she says, glancing at Enid briefly, “and found this in one of the rooms. Sho says this is what you were after last night.”
I open my mouth, but Willow barrels over me, clearly not expecting any real answers.
“How long have you known about this?”
“Long enough,” I say. “But I didn’t know what it was
until today.”
“So, you just conveniently slip off when we visit Pax to retrieve exactly what we need to take down the Directorate for good?” She leans forward, pressing her knuckles into the table. “When were you going to tell me?”
“When were you going to tell everyone about the Powerless bullets you’re manufacturing?” I ask.
Miller’s eyes widen. “What?” His limbs close in tighter to his body.
Willow clenches her jaw. “I’m not—”
“—I found the formula,” I say. She can’t have a chance to lie and convince everyone else she’s right. Because she’s not. “Leo saw your people concocting it in the lab at The Shield. You know, people often underestimate me because I don’t have a Power, but you don’t need Powers to have brains.”
“We need those bullets to protect ourselves against the DMA,” Willow says, trying to sound calm and logical, but the tightness in her features gives her away.
Miller shakes his head as he rises, crossing his arms. His angry gaze fixes on Willow. “You can’t use those.”
“Who do you think you are to tell us what we can and can’t do?” Willow rounds on him with a challenging glint in her eyes.
Miller’s voice comes out as a growl. “Why don’t we shoot you with one and then you can tell me what you think of using them?”
Chase hovers at Willow’s shoulder, daring Miller to try.
“I know what those things feel like.” Miller doesn’t back down. His posture challenges both of them to try anything. And he has no reason to fear any of them. “Most of the DMA troopers are from Pax, people who signed up because they didn’t have a choice. They don’t deserve it any more than any of the other people you’ve rescued from the Directorate. You fight the Directorate and Paragon because you say that what they are doing is inhumane. Use those bullets, and you’re no better than they are.”
I smother a smirk behind my hand. It feels good to not be the only person challenging Willow, but even better to see the Miller I remember.
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