by Laura Bates
Hayley sighs. ‘I guess you don’t. But does that really even matter?’ She looks him straight in the eyes. ‘I’m not the one who’s been doing all these things, I swear. But whoever it is, we need to find a way to give them a sense of fairness, a sense that this is being resolved. Otherwise, I don’t think they’re going to stop. Somebody has been wronged, or they think they have been. They’re angry. They’re taking things into their own hands. And if we don’t put it right… I’m worried the next person might not escape with a concussion or a badly injured leg.’
‘I’m scared,’ Jessa says, suddenly. ‘It’s bad enough we’re stuck here, not knowing whether anyone’s going to find us, not knowing if the next storm or weird fruit or freak injury is going to be the thing that kills us. But add in someone actually going round hurting people? I agree with Hayley. We have to do something now, before it’s too late.’
‘Yeah, or it makes zero difference and we all get cannibalised in our beds next,’ Brian helpfully offers.
‘Say you’re right.’ Jessa completely ignores the cannibal comment. ‘Say it makes no difference. We haven’t lost anything, have we?’
‘It’s a stupid idea,’ May says, mulishly. ‘Why are we wasting time obsessing over a boring house party when we have no proof it’s linked to what’s happened on the island?’
‘But maybe Hayley’s right,’ Elliot says. ‘The timing does fit. Whoever is doing this didn’t know we’d be stuck on an island. If the cause of it had happened sooner, they might have started doing stuff while we were on tour. But nothing happened there.’
‘Well, I don’t want to talk about it.’ May pouts, sounding like a petulant child. ‘And you can’t make me. What if this ridiculous “trial” (she sarcastically sketches quote marks in the air with her fingers) just creates more division and fighting, anyway?’
‘Why would it, May?’ Jason asks, suspiciously. ‘You got something to hide?’ She glares at him. ‘You want to die next?’
May doesn’t have an answer to this. She subsides into reluctant silence.
‘Okay then.’ Hayley nods excitedly, rushing ahead before anyone else can object. ‘We’ll need some ground rules. No interruptions. Each person gets a chance to take the stand. We can ask them questions, and they have to tell the truth. Don’t leave anything out: you don’t know what might be important, even a silly little detail.’
She is slipping into her role, feeling the comforting mantle of the reporter settling back onto her shoulders, handing out assignments like she would at an editorial meeting.
‘And it doesn’t leave this island,’ Brian pipes up, looking suspiciously around at his teammates. ‘Whatever we share here, stays here.’
* * *
Later that afternoon, the fire built up and the camp tidied, they find themselves sitting in a loose circle around Brian’s makeshift bed. The hot, heavy air tightens around them as they all look expectantly towards Hayley, waiting for the trial to begin.
She starts, nervously. ‘Elliot, you were the first one to get hurt. Why don’t we start with you?’
‘Wait.’ Jessa steps forward, holds out her fine gold chain, the crucifix dangling and sparkling.
‘Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?’ Elliot looks taken aback, but Jessa gives him a little nod.
Elliot shifts nervously and then nods. ‘Fine. If this is really what it takes to end this.’ He looks at Brian, propped up on one elbow, his leg motionless. I’ll tell you whatever you want to know.’
He reaches out to touch the crucifix briefly.
‘Everyone,’ Jessa says, firmly, offering it around the circle. Jason scoffs, but he looks at Brian’s leg and he touches it too. ‘We all swear,’ May says, rolling her eyes.
‘Elliot, when did you arrive at the party?’
‘Late. I was shooting hoops by myself at the gym after the game ended. I went back to the hotel to take a shower and I didn’t get to the party until around eight thirty, maybe nine. There were some guys outside trying to tap a keg – I remember it spraying all over one of them.
‘I wasn’t there for long before Truth or Dare started, and after I drank all that stuff they made me chug I honestly don’t remember much of. At some point I made my way upstairs and I spent most of the night on the bathroom floor.’
Brian sniggers and makes a Loser sign with his thumb and index finger behind Elliot’s back. It’s actually kind of reassuring, Hayley realises, because if he’s mocking Elliot he must be feeling a bit more like himself again. Elliot shrugs. ‘Sorry. There’s not much else I can tell you.’
‘Then what were you and Jessa arguing about in the trees the other day?’ Hayley asks, pointedly. ‘I heard you – it sounded like you were covering something up.’
Shannon and May exchange a surprised glance: clearly this is the first they are hearing about it.
Elliot looks at Jessa in alarm. ‘I—’
‘That has nothing to do with anything that’s happening on the island,’ Jessa cuts in, firmly. ‘We don’t need to talk about it.’
‘Uh, yeah, we do,’ Jason counters. ‘No secrets. That was the deal. Out with it.’
Jessa sighs. ‘You know what, I agree with May. This whole thing is stupid. What do we really think is going to come of this, prying into everyone’s privacy?’
Shannon laughs. ‘Girl, could you make yourself sound any guiltier? You have to tell us now, otherwise we’re all going to believe that you’re the…’ She waves her hand in the air, gesturing vaguely towards Brian’s leg.
‘The attacker,’ Brian mutters darkly.
‘The psycho,’ Jason adds.
‘I’m not, I swear,’ Jessa says, helplessly.
‘Wow,’ Elliot mutters under his breath.
‘What?’ She narrows her eyes at him.
‘I just can’t believe you’d rather let people believe you might be the one behind all this messed up shit than admit that we were together that night.’
Hayley’s head snaps up.
‘What?’
‘Jessa and I were together, okay? After Truth or Dare, but before the alcohol caught up with me. I was dancing and I started to feel hot and dizzy, so I went outside to cool off and Jessa was out there, in the garden. And that has nothing to do with what’s been happening on this island. Unless you tried to push me to my death so nobody would ever find out,’ he says, with a sarcastic laugh.
‘Of course I didn’t!’ she looks genuinely hurt.
‘Well, I can’t say it didn’t cross my mind,’ Elliot mutters. ‘You weren’t exactly keen to act like anything had changed between us after the party. You made it pretty clear you didn’t ever want anyone to know what had happened.’
‘Elliot,’ Jessa says, quietly, ‘you don’t understand.’
‘I think I do, actually. The scruffy scholarship kid doesn’t fit in all that well with your usual crowd.’
May bursts out laughing and Elliot scowls at her.
‘It’s not about you, you idiot. Jessa’s never been with anyone. She’s taken a “vow of chastity”,’ May intones, in a sing-song voice.
‘Hey!’ Jessa looks horrified but May just shrugs.
‘Oh, come on, Shannon and I already know and if we’re doing the whole “total truth” thing it’s going to come out anyway.’
‘I didn’t know,’ Elliot mumbles, ‘I’m sorry. I thought—’
‘I didn’t even know you were on a scholarship, Elliot, and it wouldn’t have made any difference to me if I had,’ Jessa says, quietly. ‘But the other stuff is… complicated…’
He holds her gaze, his eyes warm and sympathetic, and suddenly he’s crossed the circle and put a gentle arm around her, Jessa looking embarrassed but pleased, while May digs her in the ribs.
‘You dark horse!’
Hayley stands a few yards away, glad of the warmth of the fire to disguise her hot cheeks, feeling herself gently deflate just a little before she rallies.
‘All r
ight.’ Hayley’s tone is brisk, business-like. ‘Brian, you’re up.’
Brian cracks his knuckles. ‘Shoot.’
‘You spent a lot of the evening with the Duke girls, right?’
‘Right.’ Brian grins at Jason and raises his eyebrows. ‘And not just one of them, if you know what I mean.’ Jason sticks his tongue into the side of his cheek, crudely mimicking a blow job, and Brian chuckles appreciatively while Jessa gives a loud tut.
‘We don’t need a rerun of your whole “routine”, thanks Brian,’ May says, sourly.
‘What were you and the Duke guys joking about at the party, exactly?’ Hayley asks, glad of the opportunity to get to the bottom of this.
‘That? It was just me and a bunch of the Duke guys messing around,’ Brian says, uneasily. ‘Just banter, you know? And you have to admit, everyone thought it was pretty funny at the time.’ He looks towards Jason for support.
‘Yeah,’ Jason says, staunchly. ‘It was just a laugh.’
‘Oh, it was hilarious,’ May says, acidly. ‘Really side-splitting. Go on, Brian,’ she prompts, smiling a thin smile. ‘Why don’t you tell us one of the jokes again, give us all a lift, since it was so very funny.’
‘All right, fine.’ Brian says, defiantly. And I’m sorry if they’re not woke enough for you, Comrade May, but they are pretty fucking funny actually.’ He looks at Jason. ‘Strawberry cheesecake, or bucking bronco, that’s the funniest. Or the angry pirate…’ He sniggers in spite of himself. ‘Nah come on, May, the angry pirate is funny, it’s just objectively funny.’
He turns to Elliot. ‘When you… you know… finish in a girl’s eye and then kick her in the shin so she hops around with one eye closed going “Arrrrr”.’ Jason is smirking and Brian lets out a snort. ‘Like an angry pirate,’ he chuckles.
May looks incandescent and Jessa is screwing up her nose in disgust. ‘What’s a bucking bronco?’
When neither of the boys volunteers, May turns to her, her voice low and gruff in a crude imitation of Brian. ‘It’s when you’re having sex with a girl from behind and you take her in the… you know… without warning and see how long you can hold on.’
‘Good grief.’ Jessa sounds completely horrified. ‘Are you guys saying these are things you’ve done?’
‘No, God no!’ Jason jumps in, looking at Shannon, whose face is impassive. They’re just jokes, okay? May’s not telling it right, it’s not… it’s not funny like that. It’s a… party thing.’ His voice peters out with uncharacteristic uncertainty.
‘Did I tell it wrong?’ May asks. ‘Is that not how bucking bronco works?’
Brian frowns crossly. ‘It’s not…’ He sighs. ‘It’s not literal. Obviously, we’d never treat girls like that in real life, what do you think we are, monsters? It’s just a fucking joke, okay?’
‘What I don’t understand,’ May interrupts him, ‘Is how, after hearing you making those jokes, multiple cheerleaders, all of them apparently in possession of their senses, actively made the choice to go upstairs with you. How did they know what was going to happen?’
‘Jesus, May.’ Brian isn’t smiling any more. ‘You don’t have to make me out to be some kind of rapist just because I told a fucking joke. What, are you saying I might have accidentally raped someone without even realising it?’ He says it like it’s the stupidest thing he’s ever heard and looks around the circle like he’s expecting everyone to agree with him.
‘Yes,’ May says, quietly. ‘That’s exactly what I think.’
There is a long and uncomfortable silence.
‘You and all those other guys were publicly joking about changing places with someone else midway through sex without a woman realising. About forcing things on a woman during sex that she didn’t want or expect. That’s rape. You all literally sat around laughing about rape. Describing rape and pissing yourselves. Talking about rape as if—’
‘Can you stop saying rape?’ Brian explodes.
‘I need to say it,’ May continues, defiantly, ‘Because you didn’t. Because you didn’t use that word, and I don’t think you necessarily even knew it was what you were talking about. What you were laughing about. I should have said it at the time. And every other time. So I’m saying it now, because it’s better late than never.’
‘There is a difference between talking about something or even joking about it and doing it,’ Brian mumbles.
‘Yeah? Well, we know one of the Duke girls was raped at that party.’ May’s eyes flash, as Brian looks in panic at Jason.
‘What?’ Elliot gasps.
All the boys look completely shocked. If one of them is faking it, they’re very convincing.
‘So how do we know you didn’t rape someone without knowing it?’ May demands, her eyes still boring into Brian’s. ‘Since apparently you don’t even know what rape is.’
‘Okay, fine,’ Brian explodes. ‘You want to know how I know I didn’t rape anyone?’ He pushes himself up into a sitting position, panting from the effort. ‘Because there wasn’t any sexual contact at all. Okay?’ He is breathing heavily, a fine veil of tiny sweat beads trembling along his top lip. ‘There. I’ve said it.’
‘What do you mean?’ Jason asks, slowly.
‘I mean I couldn’t… perform.’ Brian gestures to his groin area, circling his hands exaggeratedly. ‘It was a lot of pressure, okay? Those girls had ideas, and everything happened very fast and somehow it wasn’t like I’d imagined it would be and nothing… came up.’
Jason lets out a raucous snort.
‘You bottled it! You had the dream and you fucking bottled it. Two girls. TWO GIRLS. Oh man, you better hope we never get off this island because you will never, ever hear the end of this.’
‘It is nothing to be ashamed of,’ Jessa interrupts, flashing Jason a glare, though Brian looks ten times more scalded by her sympathy than by Jason’s jibes.
‘Can we. Please. Just. Move on?’ he hisses.
‘Right.’ Hayley, who has watched open-mouthed through most of this exchange, tries to regather her scattered thoughts and take control again. ‘Right.’ She turns to Jason.
‘You left the party early, is that right, Jason?’
‘I had a bad knee,’ he grunts. ‘I’d twisted it in the last quarter of the game and I needed to ice it and rest up.’
‘Huh.’ Hayley looks at Shannon, whose eyes are glittering across the circle. ‘Because Shannon said you went home with a headache.’
‘Whatever. I wasn’t feeling great, so I left. I’m not involved in whatever voodoo you’re convinced happened that night,’ he says, dismissively.
‘And nothing happened before you left? Between you and Shannon?’
‘We had a minor disagreement,’ Jason says, stiffly. ‘Which is not exactly unusual in a relationship as passionate as ours.’ Shannon says nothing, simply gives the slightest shrug of her delicate shoulders. ‘And anyway.’ Jason bristles. ‘I can’t see how that’s exactly relevant, since Shannon is obviously not the person running around pushing people off cliffs and trying to feed them to sharks.’
‘How can you be sure?’ Elliot mutters.
‘Look at her,’ Jason scoffs, grinning. ‘Do you really think she’s got it in her to be causing actual bodily harm?’
Hayley decides to move on quickly.
‘May, you had a pretty wild night at the party, right?’
‘Whatever you say, Hayley. I guess a fairly tame party where nothing much happens could seem “wild” if it’s the first one you’d ever been to,’ May fires back at Hayley, snarky as hell.
Hayley holds her hands up. ‘So there’s nothing you want to tell us? About the party? About anything else?’
‘Nope. Someone else’s turn??’
‘Not quite yet. Because I think you do know something, don’t you? Or at least you have a theory about who’s behind all this?’
May freezes, her eyes locked onto Hayley’s as if she’s trying to work out whether she might be bluffing. ‘I don’t know what you’r
e talking about.’
‘I heard you. Two days ago. Just before Brian’s accident. Accusing someone of poisoning you with alcohol. And saying you knew why they did it. Because you’d done something to them, hadn’t you, May? Was it that night too?’
For a few moments, it looks like May is considering making a run for it. She actually glances around the circle as if she’s looking for an escape route, her eyes lingering very briefly on each of them. Is she looking for permission? For forgiveness?
Finally she seems to accept that she is cornered. ‘Okay, you got me. I did something that night that I never should have done,’ she snaps at last. ‘I was angry, and I acted in a moment of spite and I wish I hadn’t done it, okay?’
‘Done what, May?’ Jessa’s eyes are round and liquid, her hand on May’s arm. ‘What are you talking about? Why haven’t you told me about this?’
‘Like you told me about Elliot?’ May retorts.
‘What did you do, May?’
May’s shoulders droop and her voice becomes very small. ‘I spiked someone’s drink. Sort of. She asked for a virgin cocktail but instead I gave her something very, very alcoholic mixed with syrups to hide the flavour, so she wouldn’t realise until it was too late. I just wanted to prove a point, I guess, I wanted to force her to relax for once, to stop being such a priss, being on our backs all the time.’ She looks up, defiance and embarrassment mingling on her face. ‘She wanted us to skip the party to go over tapes of our performance… a coaching session, on the last night of the tour!’ She spreads her hands as if imploring somebody to agree with her. But she knows that it doesn’t compare to what she did. She looks utterly ashamed.
‘That’s why Shannon was acting so weird!’ Jessa exclaims, looking at May in horror. ‘I can’t believe you would do something like that.’ The moment stretches thickly between them, the heat and humidity pressing down like a suffocating blanket as May sits there, trapped in her own shame and remorse.
‘I wasn’t thinking. I wasn’t thinking about it like that, like “spiking” her drink. You know how I feel about that stuff, I didn’t mean it like that, I was just so angry. I wanted her to just chill out for once, you know? And yeah, maybe a small, nasty part of me wanted to see her lose control, see her do something embarrassing or stupid for once. Anything to force her to let down that perfect, perfect exterior just for one night.’