by Power, P. S.
"It's worse for my mother. She was going to leave him, just before he ran off. Now she can't even get a divorce, because he isn't around to sign the papers. He pretty much kept her at home too, and she's really afraid of people, which that made worse over the years. Going out all the time and working with the public like she is has to be killing her. I don't know what to do." The words were slightly plaintive, but not whining at all.
Becky took a deep breath, feeling like she should have some kind of deep and soulful advice or something wise to say, but she just didn't. Nothing in her life had really prepared her for that kind of thing. Not at all.
"I wish I could help. I guess this is one of those things that you just have to get through. I know that isn't useful. I wish..." What did she want to say? It was too hard to think of anything, but the other girl used a paper towel from the metal holder under the counter and blotted at her eyes.
"Thanks. I really appreciate it. I know that there isn't a lot to be done. The Coretechs thing just brought it back for me, but that shouldn't stop you from doing the job. Or taking the scholarship. That's a pretty sweet deal. Darla mentioned it all to me. Do you want help getting things in the mail? Or making calls to colleges? That seems like a rush job."
"I know. Yes. I'd love the help. It might be impossible, but I really want to go. For one thing, I might be out of a place to live by then. My step-dad is finally getting the heck out of dodge. He might have already. They had a fight last night, but who knows what that means?"
Then, almost as if trying to change the subject, so they didn't have to talk about all the uncomfortable things they couldn't really do anything much about at all, Keeley went back to work, and finished the snack for them.
"Here we go. Low-cal, high fiber, and perfect for a late night snack. Will you be all right tomorrow? It's going to be a bit light on sleep."
She nodded. Not that it wouldn't be hard, but she'd manage it. There wasn't a lot of choice.
Keeley got to the real work then, just making suggestions, based on things that might, possibly, happen. Or not.
"So, Mitch first. He's going to call, or visit with you in the next few days. Probably feeling a bit angry or put out. Seriously... I know this will sound cold, but you should probably either send him packing, or do what Zack suggested. Tell him that you'll go down on him if he goes out with you. If you do that, he'll say yes. I don't know that you should bother going to that level, since most guys would go out with you, if that was the offer on the table. I mean movie stars and rich guys. It's more than you should have to promise just to get a date. But right now he has to be wondering what he's been missing out on with you. It's that rumor about you and Darla." She ate a single carrot stick, with nothing on it, munching it absently. "He hasn't been reacting right so far though. I would have thought he was gay or something, but he hasn't been looking at guys, just me. I think he might just be a bit immature."
She shook her head, clearly thinking about something, but not saying it out loud.
"You should go out with Cory, if that doesn't work out though. He's a great guy you know."
Something occurred to her then, going back over the events of the last week or two, thinking about what had been said and who was there the whole time.
"Wait... you've been trying to set me and Cory up the whole time, haven't you? This has never been about Mitch at all." It was a bit accusatory, but she didn't come across as sounding mean at least.
Keeley smiled and let both her eyebrows go up.
"Who me? It really kind of has been about Cory. Mitch is fine, but you can do better. Not just in looks, but in the way he treats you. You deserve respect, and to be noticed. Everyone around you has been saying that and you're locked on to the geeky bad boy that what? Represents the best you thought you could get three years ago, along with enough neglect that you never had to worry about him actually returning your feelings? That's too pop psychology, but take it from a girl that has pretty major daddy issues, you do too. True, in a slightly more sane way, but Mitch was always serious minded and there, even as he didn't really notice you and used you for free food, or whatever else he wanted that you had. A body to make a game happen, or someone to wait on him and his friends while they played. Am I wrong about all that?"
She wasn't. In fact the words could have been taken from right out of her own head. They were dead on and Becky knew it.
"But, we've done all this work with Mitch..."
"And I'm not saying you shouldn't try it. I'm just saying it isn't your best option. What do I know though? I'm mainly just trying to distract myself from my own problems really. So, there's that part of things. The other guys, what do you want to do there?"
"Other guys? Who? What other guys?"
"All of them, silly. You're pretty and popular, you're best friends with the head cheerleader, or close enough that no one will notice the difference, and you have a hunk coming in to have a casual relationship with you. Guys will notice. They already have and that means that you're going to have some offers to deal with. You need to figure out how to deal with them. You can date one guy, or even a girl if you want, or several, and just not go steady with anyone. Or you could use the Eve technique and sleep with anyone you want to at any time. I can't recommend that one really. She has some issues, ones that make ours look like child's play. I guess we all do, really. Hally is the only normal one of us that way. Even Gary... Well, gay, his dad did not take that news well. We're all driven by our pasts, in one way or another."
Becky had gotten that one from context, so just nodded.
"I don't know what to do. I... You know, I don't know how to, um, do that thing that you all keep saying I should offer Mitch." Also, apparently, she wasn't adult enough to say blowjob out loud. That was probably a sign that she wasn't really ready.
Keeley grinned.
"Hey, I never have either, or I'd show you. I bet Darla knows. We should ask and see if she can show us. Or we could ask Eve, but if you want to learn on a banana instead of a guy, I suggest we go with the first option." Then she chuckled a little bit.
It was nice then, for a while but at midnight she had to get home. The morning was coming, no matter what she did and even a few hours sleep would be better than nothing. She had work the next day, at two jobs, and not a lot of time to play around.
Keeley hugged her again, and then smiled.
Becky blinked.
"Wait, if you've never gone down on the guy... what were you and Zack doing in your bedroom that whole time?
The other girl smiled.
"Breathing exercises. It's not nearly as dirty as it sounds like either. What did you think we were doing? Plotting some kind of demonic takeover of the Earth?"
"No, um, but you know, sex. It's Valentine's Day."
That didn't get an answer, just a pat on the shoulder and a walk back to her car, as if the smaller framed girl was going to fend off any attackers that might come. The street was dead however, since it was a quiet and low crime area. She waited for Keeley to walk back into her house before pulling all the way away, and drove the nearly silent streets without incident. She was sleepy already, so moving quietly, she got into the house, trying not to wake anyone. It wasn't too hard, since no one else was there at all.
The alarm was set to the right time, so she scrubbed the makeup off her face, changed out of her clothes into an old set of pajamas, which were nice and loose on her now, the cotton things worn almost bare in places, and slept until the annoying beeping got her to open her eyes. It was a fight to get up, but she did it, hoping that there was some coffee in the place. That was hit or miss for them. If she wanted booze, there was a well stocked cabinet and the refrigerator, filled with various things. Something that would keep her awake? That was harder to find, most days.
When she came out though, there was some already made, and Mike was awake and sitting on the sofa. He'd actually shaved and looked like some water had hit him in the last day, which improved his condition a lot.
>
"Hey." His voice was a bit different too, subdued, but not half drunk. It was, she realized, something new. Sobriety. It looked both good and out of place on him.
"Good morning. Is this coffee sacred and only for you, or can a heathen like me steal some?" She sounded half chipper, even if it was all fake. Her eyes wanted to close on their own.
"Go to. Um, I..." There was a big pause there and the man stared at her, finally speaking in a low tone, as she turned, after getting one of the big mugs filled with coffee. She glanced in the fridge, to see if there was anything approaching milk for it, but there wasn't. In fact, the thing was nearly empty, except for some American cheese singles and a plate of something that had once been chicken, but was now green and needed to be tossed out.
Clearing his throat, Mike started again.
"I, uh, joined AA. Alcoholics Anonymous. It's a twelve step program and one of them, the eighth step, is making amends to the people that we've hurt. It's... So, do you have a few minutes?" He looked down and sighed, then glanced at the clock.
She really didn't have long, not if she was going to make getting to school on time.
"A few minutes. I really can't see that it will take longer than that. You haven't done anything to me in particular. No rape in the shower, or making me sell myself on the street when rent was coming in short." She smiled, but the man shook his head somberly.
"No, but I was supposed to be a father, not just some guy that lived here. I didn't help you when I should have. I mean, I let your car sit there for weeks, because I was too drunk to get off my butt and make sure it was fixed. I know how to do it. Heck, I used to be a mechanic for years. I also let your mother run around on me. I... This isn't about her, but that set a bad example for you. You need to know that you're worth more than that, and letting her do that... It wasn't a good thing. Just easier for me."
Then he went silent for a long time and sighed.
"Also, I held back money for booze that should have been used to give you a better life."
That it seemed, was pretty much all. So about a thousand times better than anyone else had done for her. At least until recently. Darla had helped her a lot, and Keeley had put in time, but Mike had been there for years. Day in and day out. Drunk or not.
She smiled and finished her coffee, standing. Instead of answering what he said directly, since she still couldn't see it as his fault, she put her cup away, as he clearly waited for a response.
"I'm really proud of you. Doing this. It's the right thing to do."
She couldn't think of anything else to say, so just left, hoping it was enough for now. She doubted it, but she could hope.
Chapter eleven
So, armed with that bit of information, Becky expected the rest of the day to be a bore. After all, that Mike was trying to stop drinking, and was serious enough about it to try and get help, that was huge. It was the kind of thing she would have never have even thought about. But here it was, right in front of her, leaving her unbalanced. Still, school was school and it didn't change that much.
Not until lunch, when several things took place all at once. All of them odd and strangely pressing on her, in one way or another.
First, and it was kind of a big deal to her, Marty Simmons stalked over to their table, his eyes looking upset. Not just a little, but like he was about to cry, which was really out of place on the large football player.
"Darla, tell everyone about what really happened at Darren's party! They all think I was with some guy." There was anger there, but also fear, as he looked around, thinking that he knew the real truth.
After all, there had been that note. Becky had seen it. So, very clearly, had Marty.
Darla just shrugged.
"You want everyone to really know what happened? Are you sure?" It was a bit wicked of her. More than a little. Worse, she turned to Becky and winked. That got everyone to snicker, for one reason or another.
Then before she could say anything at all, Sue walked up behind him, her right fist clenched. She was dressed like everyone else was, except for Darla and Barb. T-shirts and jeans. There were a few sweaters around, but Marty seemed surprised when the tough looking girl punched his arm.
"I can tell you what happened you jerk! I passed out and you nearly raped me on the sofa. If these girls hadn't saved me I'd be a laughing stock. Worse than that. That's what happened." Then she punched him again, and some of the guys laughed.
It wasn't a good thing though. It was the kind of sound that boys made when they thought that girls sort of deserved to be raped. A chuckle that was dark and made it seem like someone that couldn't say no was fair game. That people at the table she was sitting at were the ones doing it made Becky more than a little mad herself.
It was enough for her to run with the plan, which she did, trying to fight the anger out of her voice.
"Right, so we got him to the little back room and left him with that guy. Marty passed out and then we had to leave." It was the truth, minus the fact that there hadn't been anyone there with them.
Darla nodded.
"After that, we have no clue what happened. Why? Did something happen? I can flat out tell everyone that you weren't going to be able to do anything. You were just out."
That was true enough, so Becky nodded. He really wouldn't have been up to much.
Marty shook his head.
"No. No. I was just making out with Sue and then you came... I'd only had a few beers, not enough to make me pass out. Someone must have drugged me."
There was a gasp from down the table and Eve covered her mouth in shock and Keeley looked like she'd seen a ghost or something along those lines.
She spoke, her voice horrified. It sounded good too. Real.
"Marty... That guy then, with the red hair... He wasn't doing that to you with your permission? We thought, I mean, you know, that you wanted it. You were just sitting there..." That got Hally to seem really freaked out too, but she didn't say anything as Marty made a pretty big mistake.
"What was he doing?"
Keeley blushed and looked away, which meant Eve stepped in. The girl had no sense of shame after all. It was one of her better traits, Becky decided, since it meant she didn't crack up when she spoke, not even a little bit.
"He was blowing you. Really going to town too. I mean, I watched for a bit, since it was kind of a turn on. I got some technical pointers too. You just looked into it though. Kicked back and sprawled, you know how guys get. The whole eyes rolling back thing?" Her own eyes seemed nearly black in the dim florescent lighting, making her seem a bit otherworldly for a moment.
Instead of denying it, he just looked a bit sick and ran out, which changed the tone in the room, a lot. Other people had seen it after all and Sue was in shock.
"He was raped? I..." She didn't laugh or pretend it was funny at all, just following him.
The others all looked too shocked by the whole thing. Including the ones that Becky knew for a fact were in on it. Poor Marty.
Then again he really had been about to do much the same thing to Sue. Only for real. There was a kind of justice to it. More, it might help him learn not to let himself get too drunk, which was the real plan.
Before they could recover, as a group, Mitch walked up, standing behind her, sort of hovering over Maria, who was next to her, gamely trying to eat her sandwich. When Becky looked over he didn't glare, just glancing at her. Then Keeley. There was still longing in his eyes, but he looked away from the dark haired girl, his face blank for a bit.
"Hey, Becky, I was wondering if I could have a word with you?" He looked around and then smiled, a little sheepishly. "Alone I mean?"
She didn't have anything to pack up, food having not been on the menu much for her anyway. Standing she waved at everyone else, her face fighting a grin. After all, Keeley had told her to be ready for this to happen. She blushed a little, since she'd also told her to let him know that she'd be willing to do stuff with him, if they went out. It...
&nbs
p; Well, it was time for her to grow up a bit, wasn't it? She had at least some experience now, thanks to Kyle and knew that sex could be fun, without meaning she was pure evil or going to drink constantly. She decided to give it a try, as they walked out the front door of the cafeteria and out into the lawn in front of Raintree. There were a few people there, so they kept going. They weren't alone, strictly speaking, but got past the end of the building, so that no one would be able to hear them.
Mitch grinned at her, which sent a thrill through her middle.
"I heard what you all were saying, is that true?"
"What?"
"About Marty Simmons, that... You and Darla Gibson didn't take turns giving him head at that party?"
"Oh, yeah, you thought it was true? I mean, why?"
That got him to blush a bit and then shrug himself.
"I was kind of hoping that you'd both do me next. It sounds like fun. Maybe you could come over to my place, after school? My parents won't be home until five. I... Well, if you aren't doing things like that though..."
Becky nearly just said yes, and only her new job and busy schedule stopped her. It wasn't until a few seconds later that she caught something in what he'd said. It wasn't an invitation out on a date, or to go steady, or even just come and watch television, so they might have a chance to do something like that. He'd flat out asked her to come over to blow him. Just because the idea had come into his head, and he thought that she just would. Because she was only Becky.
"Wait... so, you couldn't be bothered to do more than see me once a week for months, to use my discount at work, but you hear a rumor that I might put out and you want in on it? That's the way to make a girl feel loved." She wasn't showing how upset she was yet. It was going to happen though.
Mitch was supposed to have been being better than that.
"What? We're friends, I just meant, if you wanted, I wouldn't say no." There was a lack of charm, and he seemed awkward and ungainly suddenly. His loud shirt not nearly as counter-trendy as she used to think, and his stupid camo pants just looking like he didn't care, not like he was making a statement.