Property of a Lady Faire: A Secret Histories Novel

by Simon R. Green

  “You think you can just walk in here and take it?” said the Lady Faire, and her voice was deadly cold.

  “Well, yes,” I said. “I’m a Drood. That’s pretty much what Droods do.”

  “My security people . . .”

  “Are currently scattered to the farthest reaches of the Winter Palace,” I said. “On my direct orders, as your Head of Security. And whilst you undoubtedly have many . . . abilities, I don’t think you’ve got anything that would stand against Drood armour. So, where is the Lazarus Stone?”

  The Lady Faire put her arms behind her and leaned back on the bed, giving me her best languorous, heavy-lidded look. “Are you planning to beat the information out of me? I might enjoy that.”

  “The word is out, in all the important places, that you have the Lazarus Stone,” I said patiently. “I’m just the first to come after it. The first to find you. There will be others. A never-ending stream of others. And you can bet they won’t be nearly as polite as me. You could go into hiding, I suppose. Dig yourself a really deep hole, drop in, and pull it in after you. But you’re not ready to turn your back on the world and all its pleasures, to live the solitary life of the hermit. Come, my Lady. Be reasonable. You don’t need the Stone that badly. So give it up. I mean, what would you use it for, anyway? Is there really anyone you would want to bring back, out of Time?”

  “The Baron, of course,” said the Lady Faire. “Because he was . . . my first. And no one does it like Daddy.” She laughed softly then, at the look on my face, and something in the sound of that laughter raised all the hackles on the back of my neck. “Yes . . . I’d bring the Baron back, out of the dead Past. Just so I could thank him properly, for making me what I am. I’d keep him alive in constant agony for years, before I finally let him die.”

  “Then why haven’t you?”

  “Because I’m afraid . . . Afraid that if I did bring him back . . . even after all these years, he would control me again. And no one controls the Lady Faire.”

  “You’re never going to use the Stone,” I said. “Because if you were, you would have done it by now. So give it back. And put temptation behind you.”

  “No,” said the Lady Faire. “You can’t have it. It’s mine. My property. And I never give up anything that’s mine. Why do you think the Ballroom is full of my ex-lovers? Because I just can’t bear to let anything go.”

  She stood up abruptly, and advanced on me. I stood up to face her, and didn’t retreat. She strode right up to me, and I put up a hand to stop her. She took my hand in both of hers and clutched it tightly. Her hands felt very soft, and very warm, and very strong. She was standing close to me now, only our linked hands separating our two bodies. I could feel the breath from her mouth on mine. Feel the forceful pressure of her breath on my lips. Her eyes stared into mine. She hit me with the full force of her influence, and whether it was the pheromones or her personality, it didn’t matter. I could feel my willpower withering, like a moth in a flame. And there, in that moment, I wanted her like I’d never wanted anything else in my life. But I’d had a lot of experience in wanting things I knew I could never have.

  So I did what I always do when I feel threatened. I called up my armour, and it flowed out of the torc at my throat and covered me from head to toe in a moment. Sealing me off from the world, and all the things in it that were a danger to me. The golden strange matter closed over my hand, gently forcing her hands away. And just like that, her power over me was gone. Swept away like a bad dream. She could tell. She stayed where she was, looking at her own face reflected in the featureless golden mask.

  “So lovely,” she said. “So lovely.”

  And then we both looked round sharply, as a whole bunch of alarms and sirens went off at once.

  “Something’s happened, back at the Ballroom!” snapped the Lady Faire, immediately all business again. “That’s the general alarm. Is this more of your doing, Drood?”

  “I don’t know,” I said. “I’m here with you.”

  “Is it the witch?”

  “Which part of I am here with you so I don’t know anything more than you do, are you having trouble grasping?” I said. “I don’t think Molly would start anything on her own, though.”

  “Then it’s more thieves!” The Lady Faire actually stamped a foot in frustration. “While I’m wasting my time here with you! And I don’t even have a Head of Security to protect my guests, do I?”

  I armoured down again. It was clear we’d have to go back to the Ballroom to see what was happening, and I didn’t think it would calm all the notable guests to know there was a Drood in the house. The Lady Faire headed for the door, and it swung quickly open before her. I went after her.

  “This is all your fault!” she said loudly, not looking back. “Whatever it is, whatever’s happened, I want you to know that as far as I’m concerned it’s all your fault!”

  “Of course,” I said, hurrying out into the corridor after her. “It always is. I’m a Drood.”

  • • •

  I have to tell you, when the Lady Faire feels like it, she can really run. She pounded down the corridors, arms pumping at her sides, taking turns apparently at random without ever slowing down, and it was all I could do to keep up with her. She never once looked back to see if I was still there. We ran at full pelt through a warren of interconnecting anonymous corridors, with all the bells and sirens still screaming their heads off. Whatever bad thing had happened, it was clearly still happening. I’d lost track of exactly where we were in the Winter Palace long ago, so I stuck close behind the Lady Faire, determined not to be left behind. The comm unit in my ear was full of raised voices, all shouting at once. I got the impression all the security people were heading back to the Ballroom at speed, but that no one knew why yet.

  I got my answer soon enough, when a dozen blood-red men in their full face masks burst out of a side corridor and spread quickly out to block our way. The Lady Faire crashed to a halt so suddenly I nearly slammed into the back of her. The blood-red men stood very still, all of them looking squarely at me. The Lady Faire looked them over, and then turned to glare at me.

  “Are they with you?”

  “Very definitely not,” I said. “We don’t get on. Be careful; they’re dangerous.”

  The Lady Faire threw back her head, shook her Jean Harlow hair defiantly, and glared at the blood-red men arrayed before her. “They all look exactly the same. What are they? Clones?”

  “Probably,” I said. “You try asking; I haven’t been able to get a word out of them so far. But I have seen them kill a whole bunch of people, so maintain a cautious distance.”

  The Lady Faire sniffed loudly. “Dangerous . . . They’re only men.”

  She stepped forward and smiled at the blood-red men, hitting them with the full force of her presence. Even standing behind her, I could feel some of it. Incredibly, the blood-red men didn’t. They just stood their ground and stared right back at her. Entirely unmoved, and unaffected. The Lady Faire fell back a step, and looked at me, actually shocked. I don’t think she’d ever encountered such a situation before. She looked . . . lost. As though the world had suddenly stopped making sense to her. I moved carefully forward, to put myself between her and the blood-red men. And she was so shocked, she let me do it. Immediately, all the blood-red men snapped their attention back to me.

  “What are you doing here?” I said to them. “How did you even get here? Did you use the Siberian Gateway?”

  “Gateway?” the Lady Faire said immediately. “What Gateway?”

  “Later, dear,” I said. “Hush now. Drood working. Please don’t distract me while I’m trying to negotiate with the bloodthirsty and quite possibly criminally insane clone people.”

  The blood-red men surged forward, their hands reaching out with clawed fingers. I armoured up again and punched in the face of the nearest man with such force I heard his neck snap, as his head spun round to face in the opposite direction. But he didn’t fall. His head just turned b
ack again, with a loud ratcheting of repairing neck bones. So I grabbed him and threw him at the blood-red men behind him. They all went down in a great tangle, and immediately started getting up again. I grabbed another blood-red man and threw him at the nearest wall so hard the sound of the wood panels breaking was actually louder than the sound of broken bones. The rest of the blood-red men came straight for me. I could hear the Lady Faire breathing heavily behind me, but she didn’t run. She had confidence in me. Which made one of us.

  I threw myself at the advancing blood-red men, lashing out with spiked golden fists, putting all my armoured strength into every blow. I hit them hard, smashing in skulls and punching out hearts, snapping arm and leg bones. I knew I couldn’t kill them, so I concentrated on major damage. I broke them with my armoured hands, threw them to the floor, and trampled them underfoot. They never cried out, never made a sound of pain or protest. I threw them the length of the corridor, and they just picked themselves up and came back at me. So I picked them up and smashed them into the corridor walls, one at a time, wedging them into the holes they made. And while they were still struggling to pull themselves free, I grabbed the Lady Faire by the hand and we ran down the corridor, leaving them behind. The Lady Faire didn’t say anything, but she held on to my gloved hand really tightly.

  • • •

  It didn’t take me long to remember that I didn’t know where we were going, so I armoured down and let her take the lead again. We were both breathing hard now, and not just from the exertions of the fight. There was something seriously disturbing about enemies who wouldn’t stay down, and wouldn’t stay dead. It turned out we were only a few corridors short of the Ballroom. As we approached the open door, all the alarms suddenly shut down, and I could hear cries and shouts and sounds of violence. I slowed to a halt, and the Lady Faire slowed with me. She realised she was still holding on to my hand, and let go. She looked more angry than upset at having her Ball ruined.

  “How many of these red men are there?” she demanded.

  “Usually as many as it takes to get the job done,” I said.

  “Are they an army?”

  “Wouldn’t surprise me.”

  “Don’t you know anything about them?”

  “They kill people,” I said steadily. “And they just keep coming, until they get what they’re after.”

  “Why are they here?” said the Lady Faire, almost plaintively. “Are they after you?”

  “Wouldn’t surprise me,” I said. “But I think it’s more likely they’re here because they want what I want. The Lazarus Stone. I told you people would be coming for it.”

  “I should have cancelled the Ball,” said the Lady Faire. “My horoscope said it was going to be a bad day.”

  “I do not believe in the stars,” I said.

  “They believe in you.”

  I took a deep breath and headed for the open entrance. Some conversations you just know aren’t going to go anywhere useful.

  • • •

  When we finally crashed through the door and into the Ballroom, we found there was a riot going on. Security people, in their white uniforms and masks, were pouring into the great ice cavern through all the entrances at once, and going head to head with any number of blood-red men. The security people had all kinds of really nasty weapons, but the blood-red men had numbers, unnatural strength, and their awful unstoppability. Guns could damage them, but not kill them. Even the most terrible wounds healed almost immediately. And one by one they were wearing the security people down; when one of them fell, with blood staining their white uniforms, they didn’t get up again.

  The voices in my earpiece were going out, one by one. I wanted to shout at them, to warn them, but what could I tell them that they couldn’t already see for themselves? They weren’t my people, weren’t even really on my side, but I was still proud of them. They could have run and saved themselves. But they stood their ground and fought on, to protect the guests. Because that was their job.

  The guests were mostly hanging back, sticking to the far walls and the farthest reaches of the ice cavern. Keeping well out of the way, and basically treating the whole bloody struggle as just more free entertainment. Some were cheering one side, some the other. Many were placing bets. They hadn’t realised yet the danger they were in. They thought they were exempt. The Lady Faire glared at the bloody debacle her Ball had degenerated into, and then turned abruptly to glare at me.

  “Do something!”

  “I’m open to suggestions!”

  I looked around, and spotted a surprisingly familiar face standing alone. Unnoticed by the other guests, the security people, and the blood-red men . . . because he wasn’t really there. And since I couldn’t do anything about the blood-red men, I thought I might as well check out the one thing that stood out. I gestured for the Lady Faire to stay put by the doorway, and moved cautiously forward. For the moment both sides in the fight seemed too busy to notice I’d arrived, and I wanted to keep it that way until I’d figured out something useful to do. I quietly approached the shimmering figure by the wall, and its head came slowly round to look at me. The Phantom Berserker nodded slowly, and waited for me to join him.

  For a ghost, he looked surprisingly solid, but then, my armour gives me amplified Sight on many levels. To everyone else he was probably just a shadowy figure, unclear and insubstantial, unless you looked at him directly. To me, he was a tall, bulky Viking figure with the traditional horned helmet and a bear-skin cloak. His deathly pale face was drawn and gaunt. He had haunted eyes. Word was, agents from the Department of Uncanny had dug him up out of some ancient burial mound in Norway, back in the Sixties, and he’d followed them home. They didn’t have the heart to kick him out, so they made him an honorary agent, and he’d been with them ever since.

  “Hello!” I said, raising my voice to be heard over the general bedlam. “Eddie Drood, remember me? The Regent’s grandson. I thought you were dead? I saw your body lying among all the others, at the massacre at the Department of Uncanny.”

  “I was dead,” said the Phantom Berserker. His voice was hollow, and strangely distant, as though it had to travel a long way to reach me. “For a while I was alive again. But it didn’t last. Now I’m a ghost again. I’m surprised you can see me; no one else here can. But then, you’re a Drood, and the rules don’t apply to you, do they? It was all my fault, you know. What happened at Uncanny. All those deaths. All my fault.”

  “Talk to me,” I said. “Tell me what happened.”

  “I was the traitor inside the Department,” said the Phantom Berserker. “I opened the door, to let them in. This Voice came to me, out of nowhere, and it promised me things. Said it could provide me with flesh and blood, in a new body, so that I could breathe and move and feel again. A real live body, after so long as only a drifting spirit from another age. And I wanted that so very badly. I could materialise, from time to time, just long enough to be useful to the Department. But not for long. Never for long. And those brief flashes of feeling, of simple sensation, just made it so much worse when I had to go back to being immaterial again. My people knew what they were doing, all those centuries ago, when they cursed me to be the Phantom Berserker. I was so desperate to feel again, to live again, that I said I’d do whatever the Voice wanted. In return for a body.”

  “Whose Voice was it?” I said. “Who did you make a deal with?”

  “I don’t know,” said the Phantom Berserker. “The Voice put me to sleep, and when I woke up again, I was alive. I had a heart that beat and lungs that moved, and blood that coursed through my veins. I had hands that could touch, and a mouth that could taste. I think I went a little crazy then, for a while, indulging all my senses. After all the years of just watching people enjoy life and take it for granted. But it didn’t last. I’d been alive less than a day when the Voice came to me, inside the Department of Uncanny. And told me it was time to pay the price for what I’d been given. All I had to do was shut down the Department’s security syste
ms and unlock the doors, and my debt would be paid. It didn’t seem like much to ask. Just an information grab, I thought. Such a small thing, to pay for this new body, and all its pleasures. I wish I could say I hesitated. I opened the door and let them in. I didn’t know what they were going to do. How could I?

  “The bloody men swarmed in, an army of them. And the first thing they did was kill me, standing at the door. They struck me down with their bare hands, and just like that I was a ghost again. So weakened there was nothing I could do but watch . . . as they killed everyone in the Department. Everyone who’d been so kind to me . . . I watched them kill your grandfather. Watched them rip Kayleigh’s Eye right out of his chest. There was nothing I could do. Nothing.”

  “Why are you here?” I said.

  “Because the Voice still has power over me. Because I said yes to it, I have to serve it. Even though I swore to serve and protect your grandfather all my days. Do you know what it means, for a Norseman to betray his oath? I am in Hel, Eddie Drood. Still under the control of the man who ruined me.”

  “You don’t have to serve him,” I said. “Death breaks all oaths, all bonds.”

  “If only that were true,” said the Phantom Berserker.

  “I think I know a way out of Hel,” I said. “Wait, and watch for your chance. And when you see an opportunity, take it. Whoever’s behind the Voice, I don’t think he’ll be able to resist turning up here, in person. And then . . .”

  “And then?” said the Phantom Berserker.

  “That’s up to you,” I said.

  The Phantom Berserker turned away from me, not saying anything. And I couldn’t give him any more time, because I’d just seen Molly Metcalf, fighting fiercely in the middle of the crowd. I went to join her.

  She’d conjured up a long sword of vivid blazing energies, and was using it to cut off heads as fast as she could get to them. Headless bodies of blood-red men went staggering this way and that, in pursuit of their lopped-off heads. No blood spurted from their necks. The heads went rolling here and there along the floor, kicked around like footballs. Now and then a body would find a head and clap it back into place, whereupon the wound would seal and fuse immediately. I wasn’t sure the right bodies were finding the right heads, but since the blood-red men were all identical, I didn’t suppose it mattered. All this was keeping a lot of blood-red men occupied, and taking them out of the fight, but not for long. And more of the blood-red figures were pouring into the Ballroom through all the entrances and exits. Dozens and dozens of them. They already far outnumbered the remaining security people, because all of the white-uniformed security staff who were coming had already arrived, and there seemed no end to the numbers of blood-red men.