by Nikki Duncan
Kami went to the doors and tapped on the open panel before poking her head inside. “Hi. Do you have a minute?”
Trevor glanced up from a pile of papers and grinned. “For you? I have several.” He waved at the chairs in front of his desk.
“You look good.” She glanced around the office as she went to a chair and perched on the edge. “This suits you much better than Breck.”
“I’m still amazed he stuck around here for more than thirty minutes.”
She shrugged. “We do odd things for the people we love.”
“Yeah. Sometimes it pays off.” A shadow crossed Trevor’s face and she knew his mind had gone to Lori.
“And sometimes the payoff takes longer than we might have anticipated.” Other times you just fell in love with the wrong man. Kami flicked the edge of the file with her thumb. “Being an escort… I didn’t expect it to be easy, but neither did I expect it to be as emotionally challenging as it turned out to be.”
“You’re leading up to something, Kami. Why not just spill it?”
“Unless I misread you in the hospital, you fell in love with Lori.” Too many people had lost the ones they cared about. Max had lost Channing, and she’d been doomed by falling for a man completely uninterested in a relationship. It was just too bad she’d realized in the moments he stood between her and Edwin his career didn’t matter. If he’d shown her an inkling of interest she’d have stayed with him.
Too late. She’d missed her happy ending, so she’d convinced Ava to let her do this part. She would do what she could to help Trevor find a happier ending. She stood up and set the file on his desk. “This isn’t everything on her, but it’s everything Madame V had. I hope you find her, Trevor.”
Tears clogged Kami’s throat, forcing her to swallow. She’d thought she could maintain her composure. Before losing complete control, she pulled an envelope from her purse and laid it on his desk. “I figure you’ll have more fun with this than I will.”
She pivoted and headed to the door before she embarrassed them both.
“Kami,” Trevor called out.
She stopped, but didn’t turn back.
“Be patient a little longer for your payoff.”
Tears were still streaming down her face when she let herself into her hotel room and collapsed into a chair near the windows. She’d gone home only to feel like a stranger in her own tidy space. There was no mess. No personality. So she’d gone to a hotel.
Not even the salon, gym, indoor pool or room service were really helping. Probably because every time she returned to her room it was to a stunning view overlooking Biscayne Bay.
She’d considered requesting another room, but it felt cowardly.
She should’ve cried herself dry by now, but stupid stuff set her off. Like a song on her radio in the car. It had been an unpopular remake of a song by The Monkees, not even the song Breck had sung. It had still screwed her up.
It didn’t matter where she went, whether she’d ever been there with Breck or not, she couldn’t stop thinking about him. And what kind of sap did that make her? Kieralyn assured her Breck would come around. That he was anti-relationship more than anti-relationship-with-her. She didn’t buy it.
The man didn’t want her. If he had he wouldn’t have turned her away so quickly and easily.
The last time he’d kissed her had been his way of telling her goodbye. Trevor’s encouragement that she would have her happy ending didn’t help. Kieralyn and Ava, the newest member of the Specialized Crimes Unit, telling her what an unbearable beast Breck was behaving like didn’t help.
He’d been busy wrapping up lose ends. They’d gained access to Madame V’s labs and taken in the scientists she’d used. According to Ava, they were going to be bringing in the General who was behind the contracts. And while she hadn’t said it, Kami got the impression Ava wasn’t holding out for a clear resolution where he was concerned.
Aside from locating Lori, and Trevor would no doubt be on that already, the only thing that hadn’t been solved was the mystery of Channing’s prototype lenses, not that she could claim to care too much about those.
With the truth out in the open and Channing’s killers in prison, she should be relieved.
She couldn’t let go of the hurt from Breck lying to her. She understood he’d been undercover and needed to be cautious. She didn’t blame him for keeping secrets even after she’d come clean and helped him with his case.
Given everything she’d risked, he should have fessed up to being a fed. He should have told her who he was before they’d stepped into Trevor’s office to confront Edwin. By then, the trap had been set. She couldn’t endanger anyone with more knowledge. Instead, he’d held his silence. He’d refused to trust her with his identity.
His decisions and omissions bothered her, but she understood his reasons for them. The painful lies had been at the end when he claimed she’d been nothing more than a diversion. Their connection hadn’t been created only in her head.
He’d been busy, but not all-encompassingly so. If he was as distraught as Ava and Kieralyn claimed he would come for her.
She needed to stop thinking.
Her brain had long passed numb and now tingled as if electrodes had been stuck to the underside of her skull and were shooting thousands of energy pulses a minute. She hadn’t slept in days and wasn’t entirely sure what to attribute all the crying jags to. She didn’t think they were all about Breck.
She loved him. There was no avoiding the truth, and though he didn’t live in the world she’d met him in, they couldn’t have a relationship.
The sun lowered in the sky turning the bay a vibrant array of oranges. The view had been identical when he’d cooked for her. Soon, the moon would reflect off the water, as it had the nights she’d been with him in Trevor’s office apartment.
Her heart broke a little more.
Kami wasn’t sure which realization sucked worse. That she loved Breck, that he didn’t love her back or that he hadn’t trusted her. And how the hell long was she going to harp on him?
Ugh. Get over it already. She pulled her knees to her chest and rested her head on them.
Someone knocked on the door. She moaned and ignored them. She hadn’t called room service and no one knew where she was.
They knocked again. She curled deeper into the chair in the darkening room. Whoever was trying to bug her could go the hell away. Apparently they did because the knocking ended.
She stared into the sky until her vision blurred with exhaustion and her shoulders drooped. Then whoever had been at her door was back, only this time their knocking was more commanding.
She moaned and squinted. Pulling her head back, she squeezed open her eyes. The sun shone bright. People dotted the beach and cars hurried by on the roads.
How did it get to be morning?
She rubbed her hand over her face and tried to straighten. Shards of pain shafted through her neck and upper back. She dropped her head again. The pain wasn’t worth the attempt to move.
“Ugh. Note to self: Wingback chairs are not the best place to spend the night.”
The door lock clicked. Probably housekeeping since she hadn’t put up the Do Not Disturb sign.
“Oh, Kami.”
Breck, not housekeeping. He elongated the oh, turning it into a really long, really pathetic syllable.
She closed her eyes and buried her face more fully into her knees. He’d obviously abused his power as FBI to get a key from the front desk. She could complain to them. They had no way of knowing that she didn’t have a damn good reason to be hiding from him.
It was just too much effort, especially since he wouldn’t hurt her. Physically.
“Kami.” He brushed the hair away from her face as he knelt before her. “Look at me. Please.”
His voice sounded gravelly. Tired.
Good. She liked the idea of him being miserable. She lifted her head so her chin was on her knees. “How’d you find me?”
�
�It’s what I do.” He brushed his thumb beneath her eyes. “How long have you been in this chair?”
“I don’t know. What time is it?”
“Time for you to move.” He cocked a brow and lifted her into his arms. The pain shards shot down the length of her spine. He carried her to the bed and lay down with her so they faced each other.
She’d seen that same look in those brown eyes of his before. The night they’d gone to the bar. The night he sang about being a believer. He’d looked at her with that mixture of confusion, sadness and what she’d desperately hoped was caring.
Kami’s gut clenched. She expected tears to surge up again, but apparently she’d finally purged herself.
“God, you’re beautiful.”
She snorted out a laugh. “Right.” She’d slept in a chair after crying all night. She had to look like shit.
“It’s taken me a while to face how badly I fucked up with you.” He smiled and palmed her cheek. “A kick in the ass from Trevor helped too.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You gave him the sports package you bid on in Channing’s name.”
“He deserves some fun.”
“Kami.” He licked his lips and sighed unsteadily. “Until you walked into that office I didn’t realize how empty my life was. I knew I wouldn’t settle into a relationship unless it was with someone who gave me the kind of completion Leon and Jane Ann give each other. The kind of connection Ian and Kieralyn share.” He licked his lips again. Breathed deep again, a little more steady. “I don’t let people in easily, but you… You didn’t give me a choice.”
She could relate all too well. He’d made her feel like she belonged, until the very end.
“I stopped dancing and enjoying music after my parents died when I was a kid. Those were things my mother loved.” Tears pooled in his eyes. “Jane Ann and Leon took me in, but no matter what they did they couldn’t heal the hole inside me. All this time I’ve been missing a place to belong. Kami, you’re that place for me.”
“Breck—”
“I’m sorry I broke into your room.” He brushed his hand through her hair, playing with the ends. “I couldn’t wait any longer for you to come out.”
“What? You were waiting?”
“I slept in the hall.”
He’d camped out in the hotel hallway because she hadn’t answered the door? Wow. And that wasn’t even the biggest revelation he’d just made.
She lifted her hand and covered his, keeping their gazes locked. She loved his eyes. “When you kissed me in your apartment that first time…”
“Kissing is personal. Intimate.” He rested his head on his arm and did an eyebrow shrug. “I’ve never met anyone I wanted to go that far with.”
She didn’t want to be difficult. He had to love her if he’d come after her, but she needed him to work a little. A lot of agony could have been avoided if he’d handled things differently. “Was that last one your way of telling me goodbye or that you loved me?”
“At the time, it was goodbye. I knew our time together was coming to an end, if for no other reason than you’d brought so much back to life for me. So much that I couldn’t process it or name it. You scared the shit out of me.”
“I’m not going to apologize for that.”
“I don’t want you to. I want you to give me a second chance.” He leaned forward and kissed her.
She pulled back a little. “I don’t want a transitory relationship.”
“You could never be transitory. You’re too vibrant. Too passionate and easy to love. And damn if you refuse to be fitted into a slot.”
“You’re one to talk about fitting into slots.”
“Nah. I’m easy.”
“Let me guess. You’re a slob with a fondness for hole-in-the-wall joints and beer.”
“With the occasional round of karaoke tossed in if it’s the right song.”
“That song.” She laughed, feeling lighter than she had in days. “What was I thinking?”
“I don’t know. I think it fits us pretty well. At least me.”
“Really?” Even with him saying it she struggled to believe. It meant too much. More than she’d thought anyone’s love could.
“Yeah. I didn’t believe I could have what Leon and Jane Ann have always had. Every relationship I’ve ever had was one-sided with me giving, so I stopped having them. Then you walked in with that dress… God that dress. And your hair.” He grinned. “Is your hair always colored with a streak?”
“Yeah. I change the color every now and then, but I’m digging the red.”
“I love the red.” He kissed her again, lingering a little longer. “I love you, Kami.”
“Your lies hurt.”
“I was stupid, and I’m sorry. I’ll never lie again about how I feel. You scared the hell out of me, but nothing has terrified me as much as you walking away did.”
“You’d just sliced out my heart and blasted it with a high-power laser.”
“I’m sorry.” He moved forward and kissed the corner of her mouth. His touch was tentative. Tender. “I hoped you would fight back, but you left so easily it petrified me. You touched me, which gave you the power to hurt me. I wasn’t sure I could handle it if you knew.”
“I know that feeling.” She rolled forward, pushing Breck to his back. She curled into his side, resting her head on his shoulder.
“I love you, Breck.” Saying it was easier than she’d thought it would be. When it was with the right person there wasn’t any reason to hold it back. She was getting the payoff she and Trevor had talked about.
“Man I love the sound of that.” He squeezed her close and curled his body around her, cocooning her. “I’ve loved you since the moment you adjusted the pillows in Trevor’s room. That took some time for me to figure out too. He’s been my best friend forever, and you cared about him. I wanted to pummel him back into a coma for capturing your attention.”
“Wow.” Fuzzy warmth spread through her. His possessiveness excited her. “I had no idea.”
“Well, I wasn’t in the frame of mind for confessions. But you took care of him when he meant nothing to you, and you went back to him yesterday with information on Lori. You’re generous and so brave. How could I not love you?”
She sighed and settled even deeper into him. They’d been through a lot in a short time and yet he seemed to understand her. And despite the dark cloud they’d met under, she’d found an unexpected illumination. “Brave until it comes to risking my heart or fighting for you.”
“You don’t have to fight for me. Ever.” He pulled back until he could see her face. “At least, not if you’ll have me.”
He looked years younger than he had when she’d first seen him. Than when he’d come in. There was no tension or sadness is his eyes. He looked…happy. “Define ‘have me’.”
“Whatever you want it to mean. Take showers with me. Harass me about my name and your imagined Jaclyn Smith fantasies. Drag me up on stages to sing bizarre karaoke songs, though please I beg of you do not ever make me sing a cheesy chick ballad or Milli Vanilli.”
“Eh.” She shrugged. “I can do those things with anyone.”
“No one will love you the way I do.”
“But will you put me before your job?” She hadn’t meant to sound jealous, but if they wanted a relationship they had to be honest. At least as honest as an FBI agent with security secrets could be.
“There will be times that answer will be no. There will be times when a person’s life is on the line, and that will take precedence over keeping a movie date or dinner.”
And she wouldn’t love him if he didn’t have some standards. And given how they’d met, she had a pretty good understanding of his priorities.
“If you give me the chance, Kami, I’ll spend my life proving to you I know what’s important. I love my job and the feeling I get from helping people. I can never describe the sort of pleasure I get from playing a role in putting the bad guys behind bars.” H
e set her away from him and got off the bed. “I will have to cancel dates and will likely be late often, but you’ll always be the most important part of my life.” Kneeling beside the bed, taking her hands in his, with the cheerful sun giving him a sort of halo effect, he smiled up at her. “I will always come home to you. Marry me, Kami Evans. If you think you can tolerate me.”
Tolerate? Yeah, she could tolerate him. “I’ll marry you.”
He pulled her to the floor and cradled her in his lap. She braced her hands on his shoulders and pushed back. “There’s just one condition.”
“I’m half afraid to ask.”
“If you ever lose your hair I’ll have to divorce you.”
He laughed and rolled her under him. “Just try it.”
About the Author
Nikki Duncan, jokingly known to some as Naughty Nikki, juggles her time between writing, multiple jobs, household duties, and family. Of all the things on her To Do List, Nikki neglects the household chores most frequently. Then again, who doesn’t want to ignore laundry and dishes?
Before turning to writing, Nikki passed her spare time with a hundred or so romance books a year. While the reading has tapered off a bit, her love of books and reading is stronger than ever. She now spends large chunks of time indulging in her love of creating stories that will hopefully offer people the peace that, regardless of whatever is wrong with their life, hope and faith in something better can always be found between the covers of a book.
To learn more about Nikki, please visit www.nikkiduncan.com. Send an email to Nikki at [email protected].
Look for these titles by Nikki Duncan
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© 2009 Pamela Fryer
In a single phone call, Lily Brent’s entire life—past and future—becomes foggy with confusion and danger. Her estranged sister is dead, and the body is lacking one definitive mark: a surgery scar from the kidney Lily thought she’d donated to her sister long ago.