The recording broke off, and Jam rushed to send one back. “I’m sorry, Redemption,” she said, whispering so her parents wouldn’t step out and overhear. “I’m so sorry…I didn’t want to hurt you, you have to know that, I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Her hands were shaking, and her finger slipped off the record button, sending the message to him. Jam steadied the screen as the words NOT DELIVERED slid across it. She gasped softly, staring at her phone. For the first time in their friendship, Redemption had blocked her.
CHAPTER 10
Jam couldn’t stop staring at her phone. She tried to send more messages, but none of them would go through. This had never happened—no matter how mad she and Redemption were, they always talked about it, they didn’t walk away from each other. She held her phone tightly, the glass cold as it dug into her palm. The front door opened behind her, and she heard her mother step out just as Pet condensed in front of her. Jam knew Bitter wouldn’t be able to see it, but she didn’t turn to look at her mother. She just stood in the driveway, between the creature and her family, her best friend absent in her hand.
“Jam? Everything all right?” Bitter’s voice was ridged with concern. “Come back inside.”
Jam looked up at Pet. He’s gone, she said. He ran away from me.
Pet remained still. What do you want to do? it asked.
I have to go after him. Jam cast her eyes down the street, looking into the blackness where Redemption’s house was buried. His house isn’t safe, Pet. I have to go after him.
“Is she okay?” Aloe had joined Bitter on the doorstep. “Why is she standing there like that?”
“I think she upset.”
Jam took a step away from the house, and Pet took a step toward her, blocking her path.
Do not leave like this, it said. Your parents will follow. It will muddy the hunt.
“Jam-jam?” Bitter stepped off the doorstep. “Come inside, nuh.”
I have to follow Redemption, Jam said to Pet, her eyes still fixed on the black night, her heart racing. She had to explain; he had to understand.
I will take you to him, Pet promised. Return to your bedroom, little girl. The boy is needed for the hunt; we will retrieve him.
Bitter walked over and put her hands on Jam’s shoulders. “Sweetness.”
Jam jumped, her skin startled.
“You not hearing when I talking to you?”
Sorry, she said. I was just worried. I don’t know why he left like that.
“It’s getting late and you look tired,” Aloe said. “Dinner and then bed. You can ask him in the morning.”
Bitter steered Jam back into the house, and Pet stayed outside for a few moments, fading only when the door clicked shut.
* * *
—
After dinner, Jam took a shower and obediently went to bed. Her parents stayed downstairs, and she could feel them through the house, the small vibrations as they settled into the couch to watch a film, the whir of the projector, the warmth of the wall receiving the image. She lay on top of her covers in her pajamas for a while, trying to deal with the ache in her chest. She didn’t want to look at her phone anymore, to see all the failed messages, the evidence of his rejection, of how she’d broken their friendship. When Pet appeared in the room, Jam didn’t get up.
What are you doing, little girl?
Jam shrugged. He doesn’t want to see me, she said. What’s the point in going over?
So, Pet said, you are afraid again.
Jam sat up, irritation rippling off her skin. Stop saying that!
Stop delaying the hunt, Pet retorted.
Jam folded her arms. I’m not delaying anything, I just don’t see the point in going over. Besides, I’m not climbing out of my window, and I can’t sneak past the living room.
Pet rippled its fur. I will take you, it said. It is simple.
Jam eyed it. How?
Pet extended one long golden arm, and its fingers unfurled toward Jam. Come, it said.
Jam hesitated. Will it hurt?
Its voice waxed gentle, fingertips light against drumskin. I am not here to hurt you.
You’re going to make me disappear with you, aren’t you?
It will not hurt.
Jam swiveled her legs off the edge of the bed and slid her feet into her slippers, pulling off her bonnet. Okay, but we’re just going to try to talk to Redemption, get him back on our side. That’s it.
Pet nodded and walked to her, placing one hand on the base of her skull.
Be still, it said, and then the room twisted into a red-and-black circle, and Jam’s stomach turned inside out. Her head felt like it was being squeezed, but it didn’t hurt. She closed her eyes and tried to fight the nausea, the pressure pushing against all of her body now, against her arms and legs and belly, pressing into her back and shoulders and neck.
It stopped so quickly that Jam had trouble adjusting, her feet tripping over each other and Pet holding her steady. When she felt okay enough to open her eyes, she wasn’t standing on hardwood anymore but on thick green carpet that was easy to recognize: it was the top floor of Redemption’s house. Jam stared as her slippers sank into it, then her stomach sank as well.
What did you do? You brought me inside the house!
Pet looked down at her. That’s where we said we were going, it said. His house.
Yes, but not inside! Jam hissed. How do we explain how we got in?
It does not matter, Pet said. We are here now.
It started moving down the hallway, but Jam stood firm. We can’t be here, she said. I need you to take me to the back door or, like, outside his window or something. Just not here.
Pet turned its head, and impatience steamed off it. I am not from this world, little girl, it said, and I am tired of trying to make my ways fit into this one. Come with me or stand there. I can conceal you if you take my hand, but I will not delay this hunt yet again.
It reached out to her, and Jam stared at its blank face, glowing gold in the dimmed lights of Redemption’s house. She didn’t like it, being here like this, but she couldn’t let anyone catch her. Redemption would be even more angry then.
She took Pet’s hand and bit her lip. What are we going to do now? Talk to Redemption?
Pet cocked its head to one side, listening. Its feathers chittered, a quick rippling sound. Not yet, it said. We watch.
Wait, so now we’re spying on them??
If you wish to call it that. To be still is useful when you want to see unseen things.
This is not okay! Can we just go home? Jam felt like crying. She didn’t want to be here, snooping through his house while he wasn’t even talking to her. All of it felt wrong.
Pet crouched down in front of her, still holding her hand. Listen, little one, it said. Your friend does not wish to speak to you yet. I can feel how hard that is on your heart, but the hunt must continue. I know it feels bad, but we are only here to help. Hunters must do hard things. I want this to be over for you, but we need to work together to help your friend and his brother.
It put its other hand against her cheek, and the skin was cold. Can you do that? Can you be brave and work with me?
Jam thought about how Bitter had said the angels had to do dark things, hard things, to remove monsters from Lucille. Was this what it had felt like for them? To go against what you usually believed, to betray yourself and the people you loved in small pieces? She sniffed and wiped her eyes.
How do we know we’re doing the right thing? she asked.
There is no right thing, Pet replied. There is only the thing that needs to be done.
It watched her as she thought, then made a grudging concession. You do not have to do this, it said. If it is so wrong in your heart, if you are certain, I can take you home.
Jam sagged with relief, but before she could
reply, a door close to them opened and Redemption stepped out in his pajamas. She froze, but Pet tugged at her hand.
He can’t see you, it reminded her.
Together they watched as Redemption paused in the hallway, looking down toward his parents’ room.
“Come on,” he said softly to himself. “You can do this. You got this.”
What’s he talking about? Jam asked.
I think he is making a decision, Pet replied.
Redemption took a deep breath and smoothed his palms down the cotton of his pajama pants. “Okay,” he said. Jam watched as he walked down toward his parents’ room and knocked at the door. “Mom?” He pushed their door open and peeked inside. “Dad? Whis?”
He’s going to tell them, Jam said.
The bedroom was empty, and Redemption sighed as he looked around, his shoulders drooping. When he turned to head downstairs, Jam and Pet followed, moving through the house like ghosts.
Redemption’s parents were in the living room, with music playing and most of the lights dimmed. Beloved had a book laid out in his lap, a circle of brightness cast on it from his reading light. Malachite was dancing alone, her robe billowing in satin gusts, the wine in her glass a red ocean. Whisper sat on the carpet, watching her, their mouth relaxed into a soft smile and their head leaning against Beloved’s thigh. Redemption hovered on the outskirts of the picture they made, uncertainty threading through his body.
I don’t think it’s one of them, Jam whispered in her mind to Pet. I hope not.
Pet remained silent, and Redemption took a tentative half step forward. Then he stopped, shook his head, and tiptoed back upstairs, passing Jam and Pet.
Jam stared after him, confused. I thought he was going to say something to them, she said.
His decision has changed, Pet replied.
Should we do something?
We watch.
Hand in hand, they followed Redemption up the stairs, down the hallway, and around a corner, until they were all standing in front of Moss’s bedroom door. It was half open, light falling in a clear path to Moss’s bed, highlighting his unconscious face in late-night gold. Redemption looked in, and sadness broke across his face. It took everything in Jam to not reach out and touch his arm, but Pet’s hand was locked around hers, and she couldn’t spoil the hunt. Redemption didn’t want to talk to her anyway.
He stepped into his brother’s room, pushing the door almost closed behind him. Jam tried not to think about whether the monster had entered the room like that before, with velvet feet and a secretive heart.
“Hey, Moss.” Redemption’s voice was soft but firm as he shook his brother’s shoulder, waking him up.
“ ’Demption?” Moss’s voice was small and sleepy. “What’s going on?”
Redemption lowered his voice, and Jam wanted to step inside as well, crouch invisible next to them and eavesdrop. What was Redemption asking his brother? What was Moss saying? Jam had a sudden moment of wild hope, that Moss would tell Redemption that he was wrong about everything, because then if it wasn’t Moss and it wasn’t Redemption, then Pet was the mistaken one, and all of this could just slide away.
I am not a mistake, Pet repeated, without turning its head to her.
Jam blushed. I know. I just…part of me still wants this not to be real.
Pet nodded, its face directed at Moss’s room. I know, it said. It started to enter the room, but Jam pulled it back.
No, she said firmly. Absolutely not.
The creature angled its face at her, horns dark against the slate-gray walls. The identification of the monster is a crucial part of the hunt, little girl.
And Redemption will tell us, afterward. We don’t need to listen in on a seven-year-old. It’s not right. None of this has been right.
There is no right, there is only the hunt, Pet said, a snarl of impatience behind its words, the smoke from its mouth darkening. They were still holding hands, but Jam squared her shoulders and glared at it.
There is right. Moss is a child. We don’t need to be part of this moment.
She looked around, a weed of discomfort growing thick and spiky in her. They hadn’t been welcomed into this house, no matter what Pet said, no matter what words it spun about helping and hunts.
We shouldn’t be here, she said. Let’s go.
She tugged at its hand, but it was like trying to pull a planet. Pet didn’t move a fraction.
We are waiting, it said, for the boy to emerge.
We can wait somewhere else, like outside. She pulled harder. Come on, Pet. You said you’d take me out if I said so.
Pet growled, annoyed, but it stepped away from Moss’s door. As you wish, it said. We will wait outside.
It slipped its hand to her head again, and the pressure wrapped around her, short and crushing. When Jam opened her eyes, they were outside Redemption’s house, sitting on the sidewalk. She let out a shaky breath, and Pet glanced down at her.
Are you well?
She nodded. Thanks for agreeing to leave, she said.
Pet grunted and looked up at the sky. It was a deep blue, studded with stars. Crickets sounded around them, and everything was soft. Jam leaned against Pet’s torso and rested her head against the goldfeathered curves of its shoulder, two unseen things in the middle of Lucille.
We wait? she asked.
Yes, little girl. Pet’s voice was low and steady. We wait.
* * *
—
Jam woke up with a start, her phone vibrating in the front pocket of her pajama pants. She had a disjointed moment of the sky above her and the trees that lined the street and the sidewalk under her—none of it was familiar, none of it was her bedroom at home. Her cheek was feathered in creases from Pet’s shoulder, and her estrogen implant was chilly in her arm. She fumbled for the phone, fishing it out with her half-asleep free hand, hoping it wasn’t her parents noticing that she was gone from her bed. Her heart skittered when she saw it was Redemption calling.
She put the phone to her ear, her voice rasped. “Redemption?”
He was sobbing, talking so fast his words were layering on top of each other. “They didn’t listen, Jam. I tried to tell them, and they didn’t listen.”
Jam came alert immediately. “Your parents?”
Redemption hiccuped, his voice clogged. “They didn’t believe me, they asked why I would say something like that.” He stopped to draw in a ragged breath. “Can I see you?”
Jam turned and looked at his house rising behind her. “Pet brought me outside your house,” she said. “We were worried. I can come up.”
“I don’t know if I can sneak you in.”
“It’s okay, Pet can bring me right to your room.”
There was a brief silence, then a hint of curiosity in Redemption’s voice. “Like, it can teleport you?”
“Kinda, yeah.”
“Whoa,” he said. “Okay.”
“See you in a bit.” Jam hung up, and Pet looked down at her.
You were right, it said. He reached out.
Jam shrugged. He’s my best friend, she explained. He knows I’ll be there for him, even after I disappoint him.
Pet nodded and reached for the back of her head, a caress that felt easier each time it happened. The pressure swirled again, her breath caught, and then she landed softly on Redemption’s bed. Redemption gasped and recoiled, and Pet let go of her hand and head, backing away into a corner and dropping into a patient crouch.
“That’s really weird,” Redemption said. His eyes were red and a little swollen, but there was still a touch of wonder in his voice.
Yeah, she signed. I don’t think I’d ever get used to it.
“I bet,” he answered, glancing at Pet. “Thank you for bringing her over.”
Pet inclined its head, the horns angling, but ke
pt silent.
Jam tapped Redemption’s arm. Are you okay?
His face crumpled just a little. “It’s been a lot, Jam. Like, I’m trying, but it’s been a lot.”
She scooted forward to wrap her arms around him, and Redemption held on to her tightly. “It’s going to be okay,” she whispered.
He has information for the hunt, Pet reminded her, its voice sliding into her head. He knows unknowns. He can see unseens. We need to know and see if we are to hunt and find.
Jam ignored it. “I’m sorry I lied to you,” she told Redemption. “I was trying to protect you, but I should have told the truth.”
Redemption sniffed. “Yeah, you should have. Like, I get why you did it but…still.”
“I know. I’m really sorry. I won’t ever do anything like that again. I promise.”
He nodded and Jam took a deep breath.
“I need to tell you something else,” she said. “When Pet brought me over the first time, it took me inside the house by accident. I didn’t mean to spy on you, but we saw you go into Moss’s room, and then I made Pet take me outside again.”
Redemption’s mouth fell open. “What? You were in here?”
Jam nodded, her eyes downcast.
“But I didn’t see you!”
“Pet can keep me invisible.” She was scared to look at his face; it was easier to just stare at the pattern on his duvet cover. “I know we invaded your privacy, and I’m sorry. I’m not handling this hunt thing very well.”
Redemption leaned forward and took her hands. “Jam, a creature literally came out of your mom’s painting and changed your whole life in, like, minutes. And you had to walk around dealing with all of that by yourself for a while. You’re doing your best, and I know you love me and that you’re on my team. It’s okay.” He hugged her, and Jam closed her eyes against the warmth of his neck. Pet glimmered with impatience but kept still, waiting in its corner.
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