by Olivia Myers
“That sounds amazing. Thank you. Do you need any help cooking?”
“No, that won’t be necessary. You just relax in a nice warm bath, and I’ll take care of everything. Would you like the usual?”
“The usual what?”
“Right, sorry. The usual bottle of wine. You typically drink chardonnay, just like me. I’ll go out to the store and get a bottle of Domaine Caillot.”
“Oh, you don’t have to go to the store.”
“I actually need to pick up food for dinner anyway. Don’t worry, I’ll be back before you know it. My number is in your cell phone, which I left on the kitchen counter.”
“Okay. Well, thanks.”
Gabby drew herself a bath and soaked in the essential oils, letting all of her stress float away. She felt herself slowly drift down into the tub, and felt the warm bathwater on her face.
Suddenly, she was pulled into a memory. The world was sideways. Something wet dripped on the side of her face, and something rough, like gravel. She tried to push herself up to a sitting position, but she couldn’t move her arms. Two blurry figures highlighted by flashing red lights were running toward her, and her world faded to black.
***
Gabby jolted awake, swishing the tepid bath water over the edge of the tub and onto the floor. Goosebumps dotted her arms and a searing pain slashed through her head. She pulled the bathtub plug and watched the water drain as she dried off. She searched several cabinets looking for anything that would help her headache go away. Finally she found some Tylenol under the sink.
She looked at the clock on the bathroom sink. 6:03. She’d been asleep for over an hour. She brushed her teeth, wrapped her hair in a towel, and tiptoed to the closet. She found some simple sweat pants and a Rolling Stones t-shirt to wear before trotting down the stairs to see how dinner was coming along.
But when she got down to the living room, none of the lights were on. She glanced at the empty kitchen and turned around, calling Cory’s name. She went to the front door and peeked out of the side window. Cory’s car was still gone.
How far is the nearest grocery store?
She went back upstairs and finished getting ready. She dried her hair and put on a little makeup. Around 7:00, she got dressed. Cory would probably be back soon. Her stomach had been growling for half an hour at this point, so she went into the kitchen to find something to tide her over until he came home. She found some saltines in the pantry and took them out to the patio to snack on.
Gabby dipped her toe into the pool and admired all of the flowers. As she wandered over to the edge of the yard, she realized she could hear running water just beyond the maple trees. She looked over her shoulder to see if anyone was watching her, and then paused.
Why would it matter if anyone is watching me? She shook off the notion and walked through the trees down to a stream.
Even though it was getting dark, Gabby didn’t want to leave this place. Somehow it felt safe and peaceful. She sat down on a mossy rock next to the brook, dipping her feet into the cool running water. After picking out a saltine, she placed the nearly empty package on the rock, but some of the crackers slipped out and fell to the ground. She got off of the rock and bent down to pick them up when she noticed an oddly shaped rock. She picked it up and realized that it was actually a box that had been strategically covered with moss.
Opening it up, she found several folded pieces of paper. She was about to pull one out when she heard someone yelling her name. Gabby hurriedly put the box back in its hiding place, covering it with some moss and leaves. She rushed back up to the patio where Cory was calling after her.
When Cory spotted her coming out of the trees, he strode over to her, grabbed her by the shoulders, and violently shook her.
“Where the hell were you? Why weren’t you in the house? Don’t you ever hide from me like that again!”
Gabby looked at him in shock and nodded in agreement.
He pushed her as he released his grasp, and Gabby stumbled back a few steps. She watched him storm into the house. Over his shoulder, he demanded, “Well? Are you coming in?”
Gabby nodded, and Cory left the front door open and walked into the kitchen. She followed him, trembling, trying to comprehend what had just happened. There were red marks on her shoulders, where his fingers had been. Gabby breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth slowly two times before venturing into the house.
***
The next morning, Gabby woke up and looked at her alarm clock which was draped with a white tulip that had a note wrapped around the stem. Gabby unraveled the note: I’m sorry.
The tempting smells of breakfast and coffee wafted up the stairs. Gabby got out of bed and headed toward the kitchen where she found Cory covered in pancake batter and surrounded by dirty dishes. Once he turned around, he spied the tulip in Gabby’s hand. His face lit up with a grin.
“Good, morning! I’ve been making breakfast.”
“Yeah, I can see that.”
He was wearing an apron that had fruit juice stains and what must have been egg yolk all down the front. He had flour on his cheek and in his hair, and Gabby couldn’t help but smile.
“Do you want any help?” she tentatively asked.
“Oh. No, no, no. This is for you! Sit down. Eat!”
The kitchen table was covered with plates of food. There were pancakes, eggs, bacon, hash browns, pastries, all sorts of fruits and cheeses, four different kinds of toast, and Cory was mixing something green and ominous in a blender. Gabby grabbed a piece of bacon but didn’t want to sit down until Cory was finished. He turned on the blender and smiled at her like an excited boy with a new toy, and she beamed back at him.
Cory turned off the blender and told Gabby to sit at the table. He walked around the kitchen counter and poured her the blended concoction. “It’s a kale and protein smoothie,” he explained.
“Thank you very much!” She feigned appreciation while eying the drink for any signs of bug guts. However afraid she was to taste it, she felt much better around Cory since the incident last night.
“You are very welcome, Gabby.” He turned around to put the blender in the sink. As he started to clean up a bit, he sighed heavily.
“Look. I’m sorry about last night. I guess I was just worried about you. I got scared when I couldn’t…” Cory continued to wipe down the counter without looking up at Gabby.
“It’s okay. I didn’t mean to worry you. I’m sorry, too.”
He nodded and finished wiping the counter.
“Well, I’m going to make some phone calls now. Enjoy your breakfast.” Cory once again flashed his surprisingly white smile at Gabby.
“You’re not going to have breakfast with me?” Gabby couldn’t mask her disappointment.
Cory walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her. “I’m sorry, baby. I have to get some work done since I’m not going in today. But I have a surprise for you later.”
She willed herself not to flinch from his touch; he was trying to make amends, after all. He kissed her on the cheek and walked into his study, closing the door behind him.
Gabby finished her bacon and drank the rest of her smoothie, but she was already full. She looked at all the uneaten food left on the table and then over to the counter that was still covered with dirty dishes.
Great. You get to make the mess, and the wifey gets to clean it all up?
Just then, a young Indian woman appeared in the kitchen out of nowhere. Gabby jumped when she realized she wasn’t alone.
“Who are you?” Gabby shouted.
The Indian girl turned around and almost left the kitchen.
“No, wait. I just want to know who you are. I’m sorry I raised my voice. You just scared me.”
The Indian girl stood still, facing Gabby without saying a word or even making eye contact.
“So, what is your name? Do you speak English?”
The Indian girl pointed toward the dishes and started cleaning just as Cory
came out of his study, looking frazzled.
Gabby gestured at the Indian girl. “We have a maid?”
“What? Oh, yeah. Her name is Raja or something. Look, I have to go into work. I know I said I wasn’t going to, but something came up. I’m sorry. I’ll try to be as quick as I can because I’m taking you out for a romantic evening tonight.”
“Can’t someone else go in? I still don’t know what’s going on around here.”
“Please try to understand—I’m under a lot of pressure to keep you in a good home. I’ll be back before you know it. Just take it easy.”
Cory kissed her on the forehead, pushing her off balance again. He went back into the study to grab his car keys and briefcase and left with a wave that was more like a salute.
Gabby was alone once again, except for the maid who she couldn’t even talk to. She was already feeling lonely until she remembered the box near the brook.
“Raja? Is that your name?”
The maid straightened up from loading the dishwasher and pointed to herself with a questioning look.
“Yes, is your name Raja?”
“Raja.” The maid nodded at Gabby and paused for a second before going back to the dishes.
Trying to be nonchalant, Gabby told Raja, “Well, I’m going out in the yard...just so you know where I am....if anyone needs me….”
Raja didn’t even bother looking up at Gabby.
God, that was stupid! Gabby felt completely socially inept. But once she escaped to the brook, she felt more like herself, whoever that might be, than she had in a long time.
Even though she felt happy in this safe space of hers, she also felt very cautious grabbing the moss-covered box, as if she would get in trouble if someone caught her. But having this little secret thrilled her, especially because it was a nice distraction from Cory’s absence. After glancing around to make sure no one was watching her, she picked up the box and sat on the large rock to read the notes inside. She opened the note that was on top, and her eyes almost popped out of her head. It was addressed to her.
My Beloved Gabrielle,
My heart is aching. There hasn’t been a single moment since that night when I haven’t thought of you. Your beautiful face, covered in tears. Ever since that fateful night when you came to my door and told me that you loved me, all I’ve wanted is to hold you in my arms and shield you from any more pain. I dream of waking up next to you and brushing your hair off of your cheek to tenderly kiss the corner of your mouth.
I don’t know what happened that night seven months ago. I don’t know why you didn’t come. But I don’t need to know. All I need to know is if you still love me. I’ll wait for you as long as it takes, and I’ll only go when you tell me to leave you. Even then, I won’t be truly gone. I love you, Gabrielle, and I’ll always wait for you.
Yours eternally,
L.
A thousand thoughts raced through Gabby’s mind. How recent was this letter? And who was L? Or maybe it was a C. Maybe these notes were from Cory before they got married. What did he mean by seven months ago?
Gabby hurriedly pulled out the next note.
My Beloved Gabrielle,
I’m truly sorry for the last note I left. I was angry and hurt. Although I think I was scared most of all. I was scared that I’d lost you, that you’d chosen to stay with him. I’m still scared, Gabby. I can’t lose you, but more than that, I’m scared for you. I don’t want to see you get hurt anymore. I don’t know if I can bear it. I can’t even bear to think of you sharing a bed with him, letting him touch you, feeling your perfect skin. It tears me apart, but even worse is the thought of you with another bruise, or cut, or cracked rib. Gabrielle, don’t do this. Please come back to me. I’m here. Waiting. Hoping.
Yours eternally,
L.
Now Gabby was sure that the letter was an L. And she suspected that these letters were fairly new. She pulled out the last letter in the box. This one was written on a crumpled yellow piece of paper with water marks blurring some of the writing.
Gabrielle,
This will be my last letter to you. I want you to know I’m done. I’m done waiting for you to leave that asshole. How you’ve stayed with him for this long, I’ll never understand. He abuses you, Gabby! He hits you and throws you around. Then he apologizes, and you swoon. I don’t give a damn how charming or sincere he might have been tonight; you should have left that bastard. You deserve so much more, and I’m willing to give that to you.
Maybe it’s the money. I know I’ll never be as wealthy as him with his crooked ways. If you’d chosen me, you would have given up the lavish lifestyle you obviously can’t stand to lose. But you would have been safe, and loved.
I can’t keep waiting for you to stop being a fool. I can’t see the woman I love willingly put herself in harm’s way for a nice house or car or whatever. You broke my heart tonight, Gabby. I waited at the airport for you. I waited all night. But I can’t wait any longer.
A tear rolled down Gabby’s cheek and onto her lips. She was shaking. Cory was the one who hit her, who abused her repeatedly. After what he did last night, she was sure it was him, and that this L person knew what had been happening. More than that, L loved her and wanted to protect her. In that instant, Gabby knew she had to get away from Cory, but how could she? She didn’t remember anyone or anything. She didn’t know her friends’ names or if she could even trust them. But more than anything, she wanted to find out who L was.
Suddenly, a roaring noise erupted from her yard, bringing her back to reality. It was just a lawnmower starting up; the lawn care guys must have arrived. Gabby had been so caught up with her disturbing revelations that she hadn’t realized how long she’d lingered outside. She wiped her face dry on her t-shirt, put the notes back in the box, and hid it under the moss again. Then she headed back into the house to take a shower and sort through her thoughts.
Gabby turned on the hot water and let steam fill the bathroom. She stood in the shower, listlessly washing her body, when she noticed scars on her arms and legs. It looked like she had endured several cuts and maybe even a few broken bones. She began examining the rest of her body to see if there were more scars. Some of them seemed so bizarre that they couldn’t possibly be from her car accident, like the ones on the inside of her arm that resembled cigarette burns.
Then it hit her. Seven months ago, she’d been in a car accident. That must have been on the same night she was going to meet L.
Gabby turned off the shower and slowly dried herself as the wheels in her head began turning. She needed proof. Proof that these scars were caused by her husband’s abuse. If L was right about that, maybe he was real—real and waiting for her still. She decided to see the doctors who took care of her after her car accident. Maybe they could show her X-rays and help explain some of her scars. But before that, she had to write L back, just in case he was real.
What am I going to say? I don’t even remember this man.
Gabby grabbed a pen and paper from Cory’s nightstand and sat down to write her note, tapping her pen on her teeth trying to think of what she could write. Saying that she lost her memory seemed absurd even though it was true. Gabby touched the pen to her paper several times before she finally wrote,
I am deeply sorry that I hurt you—I never intended to. A lot has happened this past seven months, but I don’t want to excuse the pain I’ve caused you. If you’re still there, please write me again.
The lawn care guys had moved toward the front of the house, so Gabby quickly went back to the rock to place her note in the box. She took out the rest of the notes to show that she had been there and went back inside to hide the old letters with the novels in her nightstand. Then she started searching for her car keys.
“Raja? Do you know where my car keys are? Raja? Are you still here?”
Raja appeared, holding a purse and keys out to Gabby.
“Oh, thank you, Raja! You are wonderful!” Gabby hollered as she dashed outside to her car.<
br />
Gabby set her purse down on the passenger seat when she noticed the car was a manual; she wasn’t sure if she remembered how to drive stick shift. But she turned the car on and her muscles seemed to know what they were doing. More than that, she realized that she didn’t even need directions to the hospital. Her memory was slowly coming back.
***
The drive back from the hospital was a blur. Gabby couldn’t believe what the doctors had told her. They had her whole medical file there, and it took the doctor an hour and half to go over all of the injuries Gabby had sustained in the last eight years. Broken fingers, cracked ribs, several concussions… The doctor explained that she usually came in after a boxing match with her coach and husband, Cory. But on the night of the car accident, the doctors began wondering what was really going on when they determined that the injuries Gabby had sustained from the car accident were inconsistent with typical car accident injuries. Even the EMTs who arrived on the scene that night didn’t believe that Gabby had been in a car accident. The whole thing looked staged, with Gabby lying outside of her car in her own driveway smelling like someone had doused her with alcohol. Her car was damaged, but it was likely from a baseball bat or maybe a golf club.
Gabby felt sick when she turned into her driveway, but she had planned to search the house for any golf clubs or blunt objects that could have been used to damage her car, even though she knew it wouldn’t be enough evidence to prove her theory of Cory staging the whole accident. It would at least be something. She walked into the foyer with determination that swiftly abandoned her once she heard Cory in his office.
“Hello, Gabrielle. Will you come here for a minute, please?”
“Hey, Cory. Sure. Let me just set my…”
“Now!” Cory demanded.
Gabby shuddered at the anger in his voice. She stepped inside his study, clutching her purse.
“Would you sit down, please?”
Gabby slowly moved to the chair in front of Cory’s desk. She held her purse in front of her stomach, as if the little bag would somehow protect her from Cory’s wrath. Little beads of sweat formed on her neck and forehead as memories of past abuse started flashing before her eyes.