by Maddie Wade
“We need to get to the car without those two idiots seeing us then kill the fuckers,” K whispered in her ear.
The urge to laugh hit her in the chest. How does he do that? Make me want to laugh at the strangest of times. She didn’t though, hiding her smile, she turned and rolled her eyes at him. “Really genius?” she said instead.
A smirk crossed the corner of his face as he looked at her. “Did you just roll your eyes at me, Kitten?” he growled.
She felt her nipples harden at the sound of his gravelly voice and the words he’d said. They reminded her of a time when they had been happy, playful and life had been so good. It had been brief but it had filled her with so many memories, every single one she had carried with her, only unboxing them when she was alone. She looked into his deep intense eyes and saw he remembered it too.
The need to feel just a fraction of that enveloped her, making her feel reckless. Offering him a saucy grin she replied. “Maybe I did, but before you go caveman can we please get the fuck out of here?”
Without warning, he leaned towards her and planted a bruising, swift kiss on her mouth. “Let’s go then, Kitten,” he said taking her hand in his. He tugged, and they quickly ran across the street using the cars as cover. Moving in on the vehicle he motioned for her to take the guy on the left with the beard and he would take the larger guy. That suited her just fine. With lightning-fast movements she jumped and wrapped her legs around the man’s waist from behind. Grabbing his head, she twisted as hard as she could and snapped his neck.
He fell to the ground as she found her feet. She was glad she had technique on her side this time. Breaking a person’s neck either required a huge amount of strength or a precision technique and she sure as fuck did not have much strength left. Opening the car, she slid in beside K.
“Buckle up and head down, Kitten, it’s about to get bumpy.”
“Stop with the dramatics and get me out of here,” she shot back. K grinned as he reversed out of there like a London cabbie.
Leaning back as they left the city behind them, Roz tried to think about a plan to stop Usov, but tiredness was pulling at her as the adrenaline left her already weakened body. K reached over and covered her with his jacket as her eyelids fell shut.
“Sleep, Kitten, I’ve got this.”
It was becoming a habit to be saved by this maddening man, but oh was she grateful for his consistency right now. His presence comforted her, she was so glad he was here if she had to lean on anyone she was glad it was him. For some unknown reason tears pricked the backs of her closed eyes. Oh, what she wouldn’t give to just curl up in his arms.
Chapter Six
His phone rang as he drove towards the outskirts of the city, answering it quickly he cast a sidelong glance at a sleeping Roz. “K,” he said in a hushed voice.
“It’s Zin. We have a safe house set up fifteen miles from your location.”
“Send me the coordinates,” K said swiftly and hung up. This wasn’t a secure line and he had no idea if they were being tracked. Looking down at Roz he was relieved to see some colour in her cheeks, her breathing deep and even.
It was not lost on him that she was still recovering from a nasty gunshot wound and an infection, not to mention the blood loss. Her feeling safe enough to allow her body to rest and heal while he got them to safety was a testament to how much she trusted him.
Roz didn’t trust many people and she cared about even fewer. His instinct had been to wrap her up in cotton wool when he had heard about Usov’s sick auction, but he knew her too well. She would never allow that to go unchallenged, so they’d had a choice. Drag her home and risk her disappearing and never forgiving them or staying and risk her ending up back in the clutches of that sick bastard that had left so many scars on her both mentally and physically. Talk about a rock and a hard place.
His hands tightened on the steering wheel as his mind drifted back to the night he and his unit had been called in by MI6 on a covert operation to rescue her. He remembered every detail as if it was yesterday.
The screams of the women as they ran around the Denisovich mansion in nothing but their underwear. The smell of gunpowder from automatic weapons that were being used to force their way in past the guards, as well as blood and gore, as dead men littered the compound. Then he had seen her. He was the first man into the cold, damp cellar which was nothing short of a dungeon. The only light he had was the one on his helmet, and it was just enough for him to see hooks and chains screwed into the wall, at first glance they looked like meat hooks. A pile of blankets in the corner had caught his eye and moving forward he had nudged it with the end of his rifle to see what it was.
To his dying day, he would remember the blinding fury that had screamed through his veins when he realised that it was a young woman. He bent down and with caution touched her arm, instantly she had whimpered in pain, but he could see she was unconscious most likely from lack of food and water.
Her thin frame showed every rib through her threadbare vest and knickers. He had lifted her gently into his arms as if she weighed nothing and a feeling of rightness, of possession, had filled him. As if she was his whole reason for being in this place, at this time. He looked down at her, swiping her hair gently away from her face with his gloved hand.
She looked so young and so weak, but the proud tilt of her nose and the stubborn defiant way she had her hand curled into a fist had pierced his heart. Standing there he had felt divorced from everything going on around him, the noise, the smells, everything was narrowed to just the two of them. There was only the two of them at that moment and then she had lifted her heavy-lidded gaze to him. He had been frozen by her electric blue eyes, neither had looked away, but he had felt her tense in his arms.
Murmuring softly, he had reassured her. She had not spoken but simply gone limp in his arms, trusting him on a cellular level. That was the moment she had stolen his heart and she had never given it back.
Her voice brought him back to the present.
“How long was I out?” she asked as she moved to sit up, her short dark hair falling over her face.
“Not long, half an hour or so.”
“Have we heard from the others?”
He reached into his backpack and pulled out a protein bar, throwing it at her. She caught it and quickly opened it. “Zin called with the coordinates of a safe house, we’re about five miles away.”
He saw relief flitter over her features. The bond between her and Zin was strong, he envied it in some ways. Wishing that he could have had the same relationship with Celeste, but he had been too scared to risk it. Once she had been settled with her adoptive parents he didn’t want to interfere or risk upsetting her. Now he wished he had, how different would his life have been if he had allowed himself the luxury of a sibling. Would he be married with two-point-four children? Would he have made all the hideous mistakes he had made, would still be making if it hadn’t been for Noah?
That kid had literally saved him. Seeing the tiny shred of decency that he still had in him and believing in him when everyone else had given up on him had been the lifeline he’d needed. Yep, he owed that kid his life, and even that had started with his selfishness.
It was, he realised the best thing that he could have done protecting Celeste from his life and most importantly from him. He had been toxic and maybe he still was, but he was going to do everything to be a better friend, better brother, and if she ever allowed him to, a better man for Roz.
“Has the bleeding stopped?” he asked gruffly as he glanced across at her, hiding his thoughts from her.
“Yes, it’s nothing really, stop fussing,” she clipped.
K locked his jaw to stop from saying something he would regret. Looking to the front he checked the coordinates before turning off the road, navigating down a long dirt track. Snow was banked up on either side as if someone had come through with a plough and cleared it but other than that it looked untouched—desolate even. There was something in the be
auty of that desolation that spoke to K.
About a mile down the track it came to a dead end at a stone wall. Stopping the old car, he turned to look at Roz who was beginning to look like her old self. Cold, beautiful, and angry.
“Time to get your hiking shoes on.”
Without a word Roz got out and crossed to the front of the vehicle. Suppressing a sigh, Kanan followed suit checking his watch to determine the correct direction. As far as he could see it was snow and trees in three directions. They appeared to be in a valley that was protected by mountains on one side and if he had to bet he would go that way. Luckily the GPS agreed with his assessment.
“This way,” he said pointing.
“Of course it is,” Roz snorted rolling her eyes as if he was ridiculous. Biting back a curse he trudged after the infuriating woman, trying not to notice how her tight black jeans hugged the curve of her ass or the way her neck arched perfectly.
Nope, he was not looking at that or thinking about how she’d felt underneath him that morning—soft, pliant, and so fucking hot he swore he could still feel where she had hugged his dick in between her tight thighs. He felt his dick twitch and come to life as his imagination ran wild with what could have been if they hadn’t been interrupted. Physically she wanted him but emotionally was another story.
They were twenty minutes into their hike and heading towards the base of the mountain when he saw it hidden behind a thick copse of trees. It was a small two-story cottage made of stone. He touched Roz’s arm. “Over there.”
She followed his hand as he pointed out the building. “Looks like we got here first, I haven’t seen any other tracks.”
He shook his head. “No and I’ve been watching to see if we have a tail.”
“We haven’t,” she said confidently.
As they moved closer he took out his sidearm and watched as Roz did the same. In one respect the snow was good because it gave them an air of silence that allowed any sound to carry in the large valley but on the other hand, their tracks were there for all to see.
He watched as Roz moved towards the door as he went around the back of the small property to look for anything untoward.
After scouting around he deemed it safe and was about to move to the front when the back door opened. Instantly his gun came up and was pointed at the door, ready to end the life of the person on the other side. He dropped his arm quickly, biting back a curse as Roz came into view.
“Fuck sake, Kitten! I nearly shot you!” he bit out as he moved towards her.
She rolled her eyes at him and snorted. “Please,” she said as she turned her back on him and walked back into the cold dark cottage.
K struggled to hold his temper in check. He was getting so sick and tired of the way she treated him as if he was some stupid love-sick puppy who would take whatever kicking she felt like dishing out.
He followed her into the main living space, which contained a small working stove, and kitchen area. A couple of old but comfy looking leather sofas and an open fire stacked with wood. Ignoring Roz, he moved to the tiny kitchen cupboards, and found they were fully stocked with tinned stews and other non-perishables.
Deciding that it was best to say nothing to Roz when he was feeling so volatile he knelt down to start a fire. It may not be the best to advertise where they were, but the chances of hypothermia were greater than an ambush in this position.
The heat started to filter into the room, and he could feel Roz moving around. Shrugging off his jacket he started to look for food in the cupboards. He could feel her behind him, her heat bleeding into him.
“Are you sulking?” she asked and something in her tone made him snap. Swivelling he backed her against the counter pining her with his body. Anger and suppressed lust made his temper boil over.
“Kitten, do I strike you as a man that fucking sulks?” he asked with barely contained fury. His hands clenched tight at his sides, as a muscle twitched in his jaw. He watched as one of her perfectly arched eyebrows raised arrogantly in question. He ignored it and continued to speak. “No, I am not fucking sulking, but I am sick and tired of being your whipping boy. I have taken it and taken it because I know the sweet, loving woman that lurks beneath the hard, cold exterior you present to the world.”
He saw her eyes flicker with pain but shut his compassion down, he needed to get this done so they both knew where they stood. “Now, I get that you have been through a horrific time in your life, things that nobody should have to endure.” He felt her indrawn breath and couldn’t help but touch his fingers to the pulse that was beating wildly at her neck. “But I don’t deserve to be treated like a piece of shit on your shoe. I care about you, Kitten. I get you don’t feel the same, probably never have and never will.” He stroked the soft curve of her throat with his thumb as he looked into her eyes. A lifetime of regret seeping through him at what may never be.
“You’re in my blood, every breath I take is consumed by you, how you feel when you’re beneath me, how you look when I make you come. Your strength, compassion, loyalty. Everything about you has held me captive since I first laid eyes on you.” He ran his thumb from her pulse up until he could drag it along her bottom lip.
Her breathing was choppy as her eyes darkened with desire. He wanted to strip her bare and show her how it had been between them on his island. Remind her how he could make her feel, promise her the world but she had to meet him halfway. He was a proud man, he had laid himself bare for her and now she needed to come to him.
“I can’t keep chasing you and throwing myself at you only to have you kick me again. I love you, Kitten. God knows I wish I didn’t.” He saw sorrow in her eyes at his words, but he had to be honest for both their sakes. “So, if you want me to leave you alone I will. When this mission is over, I’ll leave, and you will never have to set eyes on me again.” He let his words hang in the air as he leaned in and in a whisper-soft movement touched his mouth to hers. It wasn’t meant to be passionate. It was a goodbye.
Chapter Seven
Nothing in her life had frightened her as much as those words from his lips. He’d laid himself bare making it clear how he felt and that if she wanted him to walk away he would. Shame filled her as she thought about how she had treated him. Kanan was the most honourable man she had ever met, and she had been a complete and utter bitch, but that was who she was. The real Roz was a callous bitch who hurt people.
Not once had he done anything to give her reason to treat him like she did. She didn’t deserve him but the desire to cling and beg him to never leave her was so strong that she shook with it.
When he’d touched her, she went up in flames, every thought leaving her brain as he played her body as if it was made for him. In her more fanciful moments, she thought that perhaps if she did believe in soul mates then he would be hers.
Hearing him say he wished he didn’t love her had stung more than it should but she couldn’t blame him. She was damaged, her heart didn’t work like other peoples did. She’d had to bury it so deep when she was at the mercy of Usov that it had died from lack of light. Just one more reason to hate the disgusting man who had stolen so much from her.
Watching K as he spoke she had never felt more torn, she wanted him, her body burned for him, but he terrified her, and she just couldn’t risk it. She hurt everyone she came into contact with and she couldn’t risk the only man she had ever felt anything for. It was why she had left him on the island—he made her have hope and hope was dangerous.
He pressed his lips to hers and it was the most bittersweet kiss she had ever had. She felt herself leaning into him, holding onto his strong, broad shoulders as he lovingly licked the seam of her lips, urging her to open for him.
It was a question, not a demand. He was giving her a choice. Roz moved so that her body was against his, his heat bleeding into her, making her body tingle and her pussy clench with need. She wanted this just one more time before she let him go.
He pulled back and she almost whimpered with
need. “You need to tell me, Kitten, are we doing this or not?”
God the look on his face was killing her, nobody looked at her like that. Yes, men looked at her with lust, with fear, disgust but never had one looked at her with adoration like he did. She had to be honest with him. Palming his face with her hands, she looked him in the eye and leaned her forehead against his.
“In another time or another place, you would have been all I ever wanted. You’re right, K you don’t deserve me treating you the way I do, it’s wrong and shameful. I wish I could be all the things you think I am, but I can’t give you what you need, what you want. All I can offer is one night.” She watched as a shutter came down on his emotions, locking them away from her and she wanted to scream at him to bring them back. He stepped back so she tightened her hand on him trying to stop the inevitable.
“I’m sorry, Kitten,” he said gruffly, “as much as I want that, I can’t accept. One more night between those creamy thighs of yours, though it would be heaven on earth, it would just make all the days afterwards feel like hell. I’ll finish this mission and then you won’t see me again.”
Roz felt her throat clog so tight she thought she was suffocating from it. But she understood, he was not so different from her. He was protecting himself, it just hurt that it was from her. She released him and nodded, looking away from his beautiful hazel eyes.
“I understand,” she whispered. He tilted her head up and it felt like he was looking into her soul. He let go and she slipped away as her ringing phone saved her from exploring the feelings of loss that flooded through her.
“Roz?” Zin said when she answered.
“Yes?”
“We’re five hundred metres out,” he warned. She could hear the smile in his voice and it made her feel lighter, lifting the heavy feeling of grief that had been sitting on her chest, suffocating her. Protecting those she loved was worth any sacrifice she had to make.
“I’ll get the kettle on,” she said and hung up. “That was the guys, they’re coming in now. We should get some food going.”