by K. M. Ellis
Thomas’ eyes narrowed in on me. “Why don’t you just come out?” he repeated.
“Nah, man, you guys go, it’s cool.” I made sure to flash a reassuring smile at him.
It didn’t seem to work, but Thomas walked away from me, muttering under his breath. I looked over to where Kat was sleeping on the other bed next to mine. She had been out for at least a half hour now. I was going to have her tonight. Of course I had noticed the way she had watched me, I knew she desired me, a child’s crush, perhaps? She had just turned sixteen so it didn’t make me feel so terrible about the whole thing. Pete Crowne’s daughter. I was going to fuck Pete Crowne’s only daughter. Was she a virgin? God, if I was to be the one to take it….
I had to stop myself from over thinking this. I watched her cringe in her sleep. Was she dreaming?
I heard the door slam with a short “see ya later” from Shane. I sat back down on the bed next to hers and nonchalantly turned the volume up on the television.
Kat
November 1982
At first the noise was distant, and then with a crash, I awoke. As I opened my eyes, I saw Drew sitting across from me. Slowly I sat up and focused on him.
“You could turn that down,” I suggested.
His lips turned upwards in a smirk, “I could.”
I shook my hair and went to reposition myself on the bed when he said, “Why don’t you just come over here and watch with me?”
Turning back to him, I slowly got up and walked towards him. He stuck out his arm, motioning me to slip next to him. As soon as my body brushed his, I felt the unfamiliar butterflies I had felt when Thomas had touched me. He brushed back my hair from my neck and put his lips to it, his tongue, trailing the length. I felt my head loll back, heavy with desire. When his hand grasped my breast, I knew I was done for. The desire filling me could only be fulfilled in one way, the ultimate act of completion. We both knew it was going to happen. He turned me on my back and took off my pants and underwear. Before I knew it his boxers were off and his cock pointing at me. I touched it with my hand, feeling it pulse between my fingers. He smiled and kissed me as our bodies rubbed together.
“Is this what you want, Kat”? He asked me.
I nodded, pulling him closer. My boldness must have shocked him as he froze to my touch. He quickly spread my legs with need and entered the tip of him in me. “You want this?” he half asked as he began thrusting to the hilt causing me to let out a soft cry. He seemed satisfied with that as he began to move in me. God he was a lot bigger than Thomas had been, and I felt as if he was filling me up. He lasted a lot longer than Thomas to. By the time he was finished, I felt an aching there that I had never experienced.
Drew
November 1982
Well. She wasn’t a virgin, but god did she feel good. She must have been close to one cause no woman I had ever been with had felt that tight. She was still naked beside me as I brought her under the covers and held her close.
“I’m sorry if I hurt you,” I said plainly
“Oh, no not at all, it was really nice.”
Nice
“It did, it felt very good,” I confessed. “Are you tired?”
She shook her head with a “yes” and let me pull my body around her. With a smile I closed my eyes. I knew that’s where they would find us when they returned. I couldn’t wait to see the look on Thomas’ face.
Thomas
November 1982
It was quiet when we returned to the hotel room, too quiet. My heart skipped a beat when Shane went to go turn the key in the door. When I saw Drew’s naked shoulder with Kat’s tiny one behind him, my heart broke. I had to get out of that room. Maybe I was over reacting, maybe it was the alcohol reacting for me but before I knew it I was retching and vomit appeared all over my boots. I wiped my mouth with the sleeve of my jacket and turned around. There she was, looking right at me with her hair looking like she had just stuck her finger in a light socket.
“Thomas…”
“No, you don’t have to say anything to me, I get it,”
“You don’t understand….” She pleaded.
“What then, Kat? Cause yeah, I sure as hell don’t. I get it, us… we were just a onetime thing, but really? Could you have some decency?”
She stood there speechless.
“Well could you??” I raised my voice this time.
‘Thomas, I’m sorry,” tears rimmed her eyes as she spoke. “I didn’t think….”
“It’s nothing, Kat, just go back inside.”
“Thomas,” she said, as she moved towards me with her arm out.
I turned to her. “Please, just fucking go back inside!” I yelled, louder and harder than I imagined it would come out.
She turned around and left then, leaving me there in my own filth, wondering what would happen to us now.
Drew
December 1982
It was fun fucking Kat and rubbing it in Thomas’ face. He was so visibly jealous that I almost pitied him, still he went on about his business and preformed with Kat. I could tell that Kat was head over heels for me. She asked me if I loved her to, I forced myself to say yes. Everyone around me was aware that I was pretty much using her, except her. She was still so young and naive.
1983
Thomas
April 1983
“Kat, get out of the car,” I said to her cautiously
In the past few months I had set aside my feelings for her to focus on the Neptune and the tour. She seemed happy enough with Drew, but behind her back, he was a monster who I hated. I wished she had been able to see it.
“Kat, you don’t even have a license!” I shouted, hopping in besides her as she revved the engine.
She laughed out loud as she pressed on the gas.
“Jesus, Kat,” I shouted, holding on.
She did a few laps around the street, then stopped and got out.
“You’re crazy,” I murmured.
“It’s because I’m in love,” she shouted carelessly, throwing her arms up in the air.
I just shook my head and let her bask in her own glory, she would know soon enough.
Kat
June 1983
Drew and I became inseparable. We slept together almost every night and some of the guys voiced jealously that they couldn’t have their wives or girlfriends on tour, did that mean I was officially Drew’s girlfriend? Looking back now I remember I have been called many names throughout my lifetime. I know I deserved the majority of them but those who did not know me or the situation I was in had no room to talk. They might call me a home wrecker, a “slut” yet they buy my CDs, listen to my old tapes and sing with me in the car. I honestly thought this feeling could last forever. How wrong was I when the truth arose? Once we parted ways from Arctic Circle, Drew didn’t contact me, he never even tried. I was so full of hope and so high on my cloud of love that nothing bothered me for the first couple of weeks, and then depression set in. I felt stupid for trusting Drew. My thought on a promise was that if one makes one, then one keeps it, especially if you love the person. Now I truly knew where I stood with Drew. After a while I realized that there was nothing I could do and gradually I did what all sixteen year old girls do, I moved on and found someone else. This someone else brought a dangerous new territory to my life which I had not encountered before.
James
July 1983
Kat was moping around and depressive after the tour ended. She had been so upset over the break up with Drew that it was beginning to affect everything she did with the band.
“Just relax, Kat,” Ian told her, “Who knows, maybe he’ll come around?”
“You think so?” Tom said sarcastically
Kat just stared at the two of them, “I’m glad my misery is amusement to you both,” she shouted
“Come on, Kat did you really think that he really wanted anything to do with you other than sex?” Tom asked her Her lips pouted, “If I say yes, you’re just going to laugh.”
/>
Tom smiled, tossing his shaggy, dark hair out of his eyes as he went over to her. He touched her elbow and she shrugged him off.
Ian looked over to me, “Are we practicing today or what?”
“Yeah are we practicing today?” I asked loudly so both Kat and Thomas looked my way.
Kat moved away from him and went to her microphone, while adjusting the scarf around it; she met my eyes and gave me a seductive smile before repositioning herself.
“This is what I wrote,” she said, handing each of us a piece of paper with her wavy handwriting on it.
“Tracing Scars?” Tom asked with one brow raised.
Kat nodded gleefully
“I guess we can try it,” he said mournfully
“Just start singing, Kat and I’ll follow,” I told her.
When she began, as I played, Tom and Ian joining in, it was one of the most beautiful pieces I had heard from her.
Shane
August 1983
The tour with Neptune had been such a success that I could not have foreseen what better we could do now. As Pete Crowne’s daughter, Kat had a charisma about her which people adored. Having her on my side was one of the best decisions of my career to date. I had to meet with Roy again about getting Neptune back on with us. I didn’t care what Roy had to say. I’d have my tour with Neptune.
Roy
Early September 1983
“Come in!” I said casually
I saw a mop of curly brown hair as he entered the room. “Ah, Shane, good to see you buddy. What can I do for ya?”
“I want Neptune with us for next year’s tour.”
“Neptune, ´eh? You just finished touring with them in July!”
“I realize that,” he started, “but the turn out… you saw the numbers…”
That I had. They had skyrocketed. Pete Crowne’s daughter had suddenly become high in demand.
“I’ll see what I can do for next year, Shane. Are all the guys on board?”
I saw the change in Shane’s stance and I knew he knew what I was talking about, Drew.
“Yeah, they are,” Shane stated after a brief pause, “we will make it work no matter what.”
No matter what.
I heard it. “I’ll see what I can do,” I responded
And with that Shane left the room with a smile wider than I had seen in months.
Kat
November 1983
“Gary, I don’t want to go with you and that stupid old hag anywhere! It’s my fucking birthday. Just let me go out. You fucking let me go on tour all the time and as soon as I fucking move back in with you… fucking all these rules??? I’m seventeen now!”
I couldn’t help but shout at him. For months I had been patient and done whatever he had wanted when I wasn’t practicing with the guys. Thomas, James and Ian had renewed their lease into a bigger apartment and I had declined to join them. At this moment I had really wished that I had. I still saw Thomas every day. He and I never spoke about Drew or the things that had happened between the two of us. It was almost like it had disappeared altogether.
“Kathryn, please be nice to Jen! She just wants to take you to dinner for your birthday that’s all”
It was all too much in my book. I had seen Gary fly through women like my father had. This one was no exception to the various dumb blondes with perfect figures except I called her the “hag” because she was the first one to be over twenty-five I had seen him with.
“No, I’ll go with you, Gary but not her.”
“Fine,” he gave in, “just you and me,” he sighed, “why must you be so difficult with me, Kathryn?”
“I don’t mean to,” I said. In truth; I didn’t mean to, I didn’t know what was wrong with me lately.
He took me to the nice Italian place around the corner from the house. I hated that restaurant, but to be honest, I was okay with spending time with him, just the two of us.
Gary’s soft brown hair fell over his face as he laughed at my stupid childish jokes. I knew that’s what he thought of me, “childish”. I was seventeen now and I had been desired by Drew who had been nearly ten years older than me! Then again, maybe that’s why Drew never called or even tried to contact me in any way. Maybe I was childish.
Gary
November 1983
Sure she had pissed me off royally, but it was actually nice to spend the time just the two of us since it was rare we did. She had grown up so much in the past couple of years. The last time I had truly talked and spent time with her was before she was contracted to my record company. She had been fourteen then, three years ago… I couldn’t believe that she was seventeen, and so like her mother she looked. But her eyes, her eyes were all Pete’s.
We got back to the house, which was a short walk around the corner. She suggested a movie which I put in the player as she went and “changed” into her “pajamas”. When she came back I could hardly look at her. Those weren’t pajamas, at least not ones that I was used to seeing. She was wearing a thin, tank top which I could almost see her breasts through and shorts that could have been underwear. God, her breasts? She had them! I hadn’t even noticed till now… did she want me to?
“Kathryn, you gotta change, you’re not going to the club or whatever...” I trailed off as she pulled out a blanket and sat down next to me, wrapping the thing around her.
“Better?” she mewed.
I sighed, clicking play on the VHS. I tried concentrating on the movie, I tried staring at the screen until my mind went elsewhere, but I couldn’t get her breasts out of my head. I glanced over at her, she was watching the movie, her mounds rising and falling with each breath. She must have caught me looking at her cause she glanced my way.
“What?” she asked with a smirk.
“Nothing,” I stated looking away.
She shrugged and continued gazing wholly at the film. I don’t know why I did it, maybe it was because I had to touch her, but my finger found its way onto her upper arm, stroking downwards.
“Hey, that tickles!” she exclaimed as she whisked my hand away.
Of course that just made me more persistent. I grabbed at her side tickling her fully now just to feel more of her budding body.
“Stop!” she managed between breaths. She was giggling and pushing me away without much seriousness. She then grabbed my arm as she fell off the couch, taking me with her. I landed on top of her, right in between her delicious long legs. I knew I couldn’t help myself then.
She froze, just staring up at me, as she removed her hand from my arm. My other arm was rested right behind her head, our faces close. I bent down to her so our noses touched before closing my eyes and going in for it. Her lips tasted sweet, like honey as she opened to meet me. I was surprised at the heat that came from her and I could feel my erection pressing against my jeans longing to be freed.
She then put her hand up and rested it behind my neck. At her touch, I jerked back to reality. No, this can’t be happening.
I flung myself away from her, “I’m sorry, Kathryn,” I kept repeating, “I’m so sorry,”
“Don’t be sorry,” she soothed; “I wanted it…” she trailed off “I want you, Gary.”
“You… I mean… we… we can’t, Kathryn.”
She moved towards me, “go to your room, Kathryn, just go to your fucking room and please just stay there!” I couldn’t tell if I was pleading with her or my inner self more.
She then got up, turned, and ran from the room and up the stairs. I heard the door slam and I sat back against the couch still on my knees where I had jerked so violently away from her. I looked down at my cock, it was still rock hard. “God damn,” I muttered. I didn’t know what had come over me but that fucking little siren had put some kind of spell on me.
Kat
December 1983
Things between Gary and I were strange after that. I could tell he desired me, why wouldn’t he act on it? Could he not tell that I wanted him also? I tried to distract myself. I spent
hours with Thomas, away from Gary, practicing, doing shit gigs around town. I couldn’t help but let him creep into my mind. This man, who had literally adopted me, who I hardly knew, was the object of my lust. No he was different. He wasn’t like Thomas and Drew who was boys in comparison, this was a man. I didn’t care that he was thirty four. Ted Nugent did it back in 78 when he sleazed his way into making himself that poor girl’s guardian to have a relationship with her. She couldn’t have been much older than myself I was sure. I didn’t care either way. I was going to make this happen and I would tonight. Gary would be forced to be civil with me, and he would most likely want to stay in with it being Christmas Eve and all.
Later that day, Gary was hanging around the living room as normal when I sat down right next to him. He looked taken back because he immediately went to get up. I grabbed his arm. “Please stay.”
He sat back down, his breath coming rapidly
I moved closer to him, his whole body was rigid. I wondered if he was growing stiff down there too. The thought made me tingle with anticipation. “It’s okay, Gare,” I whispered in his ear as my hand began stroking his leg, “I want it.”
His faced turned to me, millimeters from mine. His eyes blazed with wanting.
“Kathryn…” he managed.
I threw myself on top of him, straddling him. He let me rub my body against his so I could feel his excitement, before he threw me down on my back and forced himself on top of me. My legs came around him, and then before I knew it, one, two, three pieces of clothing had been shed and we were lying entwined. I could feel Gary twitch inside of me. His whole body shuddering as he let loose. He lay still after upon my body.
“Did it… did it feel good, Kathryn?’ he asked, uncertain of himself, echoing the words Thomas had spoken to me once before.
I nodded.
“You didn’t come.”
Come? Were women supposed to come like men? I mean I knew sex was pleasurable, but wasn’t that the orgasm?
“I thought I did.”
He snickered and got off of me. Kneeling in between my legs, he took his middle finger and began to stoke. A sensation I had never felt came over me.