by K. M. Ellis
I gave him a throaty giggle, “How do you want me?” I asked
He surprised me when he stated that he wished to make love to me. I had to smile wide at that one. I had expected him to want me to give him oral or some sort of quickie, but making love? Now that was poetic. I took off all of my clothes for him, piece by piece as he watched intently. He reached out his hands to me, pulling me on top of him so that I was riding astride him. His cock was poking hard towards my core as he pushed me down onto it. He felt much larger inside of me than he had looked on the outside. I tried to put on my best poker face as I started to move on him. He was clearly enjoying himself. Seeing him feel so much pleasure, I could feel myself start to let the first waves of passion consume me.
I wasn’t attracted to Roy and this wasn’t exactly welcoming, but I wouldn’t let that take away from my newly found love of orgasms. I rocked my body with his, his hands gripping my back, my waist, and then suddenly he announced that he was going to come. He pushed me to the side, I gave him a coy smile as he gasped and clutched himself. I knew I had won myself a world tour right then and there. He began to regain his breathe and his composure. He stated that he now knew why Drew was so enamored of me. I sighed and ignored the comment. He then told me that we would most definitely be a candidate to go on tour with Arctic Circle; he just needed to run it by Shane again. He then asked me if I would lie next to him for the rest of the night, which I replied that I would. As I lay in this strange man’s arms, I couldn’t help but wonder what Drew would think of me if we ever finally met up again. I drifted off to sleep with that thought. When Roy awoke me in the early hours of the morning, I let him enter me once more. He assured me that he would tell no one of this and advised me to do the same. I wouldn’t tell a soul, it would ruin us both.
James
October 1984
“I did something really bad,” Kat said to me casually as we lay in my bed.
“Hmm?” I asked, looking down at her.
“I had sex with Roy.”
“Who’s Roy?” I started angrily.
“Shhhh,” she hushed me. “Arctic Circle’s manager, Roy.”
“What? Why would you do that?”
“Because… I just got the call… he’s offering us to tour with them again…” she said softly.
“You did it for a tour?”
“Yes”
“Don’t tell Thomas… he will kill you,” I warned
“I think he will be pretty happy about a tour though,” she murmured as she began taking her shirt off.
My eyes went to her breasts. Although I was a bit irked she had slept with Roy, I wasn’t going to let it stop me from having fun with her. I tried not to feel jealous when it came to Kat. It was just casual sex and although I loved her as a friend, I couldn’t see it going anywhere else.
“You know he will be,” I responded while grabbing at her.
She smiled uncaring; I hoped he wouldn’t ever find out.
Thomas
November 1984
When Kat told me that we would be touring with Arctic Circle again I was ecstatic. Not only were they one of the biggest bands around, they actually wanted us to joining them yet again.
Kat finally turned eighteen in November to which we combined a celebration with the announcement of the tour. She seemed to spend more time with myself, James and Ian now than she used to. The whole world knew about her and Gary since it had hit the tabloids. It hurt Gary’s career but Kat’s skyrocketed. She had been staying with me throughout the whole ordeal. Everyone wanted to know what Pete’s daughter was going to do next. She didn’t look like a little girl anymore. Her hips had broadened out, keeping her waist tiny, and her breast had grown. She had let her hair grow long so that it almost reached her bottom. Despite all of her changes into “womanhood” she still had her girlish caramel eyes which could make a saint sin.
We drank probably more than we should have, and Kat, guilty as any of us, had to be halfway carried upstairs to her bedroom at four in the morning. She threw her arms around me and kissed me hard. I was so surprised that I could hardly respond quick enough to kiss her back. Before I knew it she was on the floor passed out again. I don’t know what I would have done had I been given the chance to react.
Kat
November 1984
The day arrived when we went to meet up with Arctic Circle to begin, what I was calling, and the opportunity of our lives. I said “goodbye” to Gary with a halfhearted hug. We got to the hotel around noon, which was close to where Shane lived. That night Shane surprised us all by showing up at our hotel. He hadn’t changed a bit except for some lines around his face which just gave his already handsome face a flare. At twenty eight, he was in his prime. He greeted me with a hug and a kiss on the forehead which made me blush with delight. Shane had always had a way of making me feel like I was the only girl in the world. Shane also greeted Thomas, James and Ian warmly, but kept his eyes on me. Finally when we had a chance to speak he gushed over how breathtakingly beautiful I had become. Shane could have had me that night. He could have taken me easily with no fight what so ever, I would have let him, but I reminded myself that I was a woman now and women can control themselves. Shane left with the promise to return in the morning to bring us to his house to see everyone else in the group. I was nervous to see Drew especially and I believe Shane saw that in my face because he reassured me by telling me not to worry. But worry was what I did, all night long.
Shane
November 1984
I felt like an idiot. She was beautiful as I had remembered, yes, but something about her, a glow of some sort made her stand out more. What had I done? Just stared. They would be coming over to my place tomorrow. We had three days before we began touring and a lot of catching up. I figured a party was in order. I know it sounded stupid, but I was excited to see her. I hoped everyone else would be also.
Kat
November 1984
Thomas was grumpier than ever as we packed out bags and waited for Shane. I probably should have worn something more appropriate for the occasion but I chose my thigh high black boot with a lace up skirt and reveling top. I had fixed my hair the night before so that it was in waves just above my waist. I was a gorgeous display and ready to face my past with a smile.
The first person I saw as we walked in was Alex in the kitchen getting some water.
“Kat!” I heard him shout. Of course he put down the cup he was holding and ran over and gave me a hug, lifting me completely off the ground.
Hearing the commotion, Brian and Nick came into the kitchen also; Drew followed but fell back a bit and leaned on the door frame like a cowboy. I could only laugh and smile. We all went to relax in the sitting room where Shane proceeded to tell me about the photo shoot for the tour.
“Wait, what?” I exclaimed.
To my surprise it would be featuring me in a very short skirt which had the Arctic Circle symbol on it and a tiny thong underneath. Although I was upset that Shane had not told me this beforehand, I was excited about the opportunity to model, even if it was a half nude photo shoot with my ex involved. After explaining this to me and the rest of Neptune who were all not too happy about the idea of their lead singer whoring about the boys of Arctic Circle, we decided to have dinner and get to bed. Shane announced it would be a long day and to get some sleep. I didn’t sleep much of course, I never did anymore.
The Next Day
I had never had makeup artist’s work on me before. The whole experience was exhilarating to say the least. Finally I was ready to come out wearing my obscenely short skirt. With my hand covering my breasts I was directed towards Brian for the first shoot. I soon found confidence in my weakened position and grew bolder with every shot. With Nick I was to lie across his body holding his bass in a way that it would be covering my nakedness. For Alex I was to ride astride him with my ass up in the air, while he took his drum sticks and pretended to drum me. Drew came next, I was to sit on his lap with his guitar neck
between my breasts and his hands were to cover me. Oh Drew was still so beautiful and so youthful. His smile could brighten a room, but not my heart and so I continued being cold towards him. Shane came last, it only seemed right that the person I was most comfortable with would make this the most awkward for me. I was told to sit between his legs and hold his guitar in a way which it would cover my breasts. I rocked my body closer to his crotch as directed and could feel Shane grow hard behind me. He wasn’t the only one who had of course, just the only one I chose to remember.
Later that night, all feeling comfortable around each other and happy with the success of the photo shoot, we decided to celebrate by going out to the club. I danced with Nick most of the night and Brian a few times. When Shane approached me outside, handing me a drink, I was more than willing to take it from him. He put his arm around me and led me to a secluded corner on the balcony. I felt Thomas’ eyes on me, almost like he was jealous. I honestly couldn’t have cared less.
He was bold, “What if I said I wanted to sleep with you, Kat?”
I giggled nervously, “I would probably let you,” I answered honestly with a seductive grin.
“Then why aren’t we?” he asked
I shrugged my shoulders as my finger twisted around one of my curls.
“Look, Kat. We could, you know, just have sex, nothing else. Just sex and leave it at that. But you have to promise me that it will just remain sex, no matter how much we do it or whatever. No feelings, no relationship and no strings.”
I stared at him intensely before answering, “’I could do that.”
“Good,” he said, leaning in to kiss me, “shall we seal that promise?”
His lips touched mine in a quick, hard motion which made my head flip back. I wrapped my arms around his neck as his lips met mine more and more passionate each time. Flames went through my body. I could honestly say, I was excited for tonight.
Thomas
November 1984
Well there she was, kissing Shane right there in front of me like some sort of animal. She didn’t even hold back. She just let him maul her and she enjoyed it.
I suppose it was my own fault. Shane had approached me earlier in the evening about Kat, basically asking if it was okay to have sex with her. I was stupid and told him I didn’t care. Now? I cared so much. I wanted to take it back. My eyes burned looking at them. I swallowed the last gulp I had in my glass and went inside. There were so many women to choose from but I’d have one tonight, maybe two if I could. I had to get my mind off of Kat.
Kat
November 1984
Shane brought me to his room that night where we quickly undressed and got into bed. His kisses make me weak and when he touched me, oh! I felt like a whole different person. He entered me hard but something made him stop. He looked down at me, looked my face up and down and couple of times, before kissing me and resuming moving inside of me. I had never felt more complete. I realized, yes, this is just sex, but honestly, it was some of the best I had ever had.
Drew
November 1984
Kat acted like I never existed. Honestly? It pissed me off. Why should she be able to waltz right in front of me and visibly make everyone aware of her intentions with Shane? Sure he was my best friend, but for him to take her like that? I watched Thomas in the corner with some woman, while the rest of Neptune was nowhere to be seen.
“Where did everyone go?”
I turned to see Brian next to me.
“I saw Shane a bit ago… and Kat… not sure where everyone else is.” As I responded, I saw Nick out of the corner of my eye at the bar. “There’s Nick,” I added, pointing his way.
“You saw Kat?” Brian said, clearly ignoring everything else I was saying.
“Yes, she left…. With Shane I believe.”
“Shane?! What the fuck does he want to do with her?” Brian shouted.
“I could think of a few things,” I quickly responded before walking away.
I wasn’t in the mood to be around anyone. Yeah, I had fucked up with Kat, but did Shane really have to rub it in my face?
“Fuck em both,” I mumbled under my breath.
Shane
November 1984
“So how was it?” Thomas asked me, as casual as any morning conversation.
“What was what?”
His eyebrow cocked upwards, “You know, fucking Kat?”
I smiled at him, “Like you don’t know.”
“Actually I don’t,” he said.
I could tell he was lying; Kat had told me herself last night that she had been with Thomas once when they had lost their virginity together at fifteen.
“Right, well, it was…” I paused searching for the right word. “It was alright.”
“Alright?”
“Yeah, just alright.”
If only he really knew.
Being with Kat had almost been like an out of body experience like one I would have only once in my lifetime. It was like she knew me, knew exactly what I wanted and needed. Almost like, we had done this before. I wasn’t expecting that, no not at all.
When I saw Kat later that evening, I couldn’t help but put my arms around her. She turned around in surprise, surveying the room to see if anyone was around. She then let me kiss her. I didn’t even have to say anything to get her to come with me. Reaching my room, she and I were both aware of what was going on. I think she felt it to, she had to.
“Just sex,” I whispered to her, reassuring myself that I couldn’t be doing this.
She nodded in agreement as she pulled me down on top of her.
Thomas
November 1984
“Why do you just let them all look at you like fucking dogs?” I asked Kat.
“They look at me the way I want them to,” she answered
“You’re making yourself out like a whore.”
“Look, Tom, if you’re jealous…”
“I’m not.”
“Whatever, it’s not like you ever looked at me anyways that way.”
I gritted my teeth. Because I wasn’t a pig and wasn’t drooling all over her she thought I didn’t want her.
“You never even gave me a chance Kat.”
“No I didn’t.”
“Why?” I asked, crossing my arms.
She looked me up and down, “because I didn’t want commitment, and neither did you, ‘one time thing’ don’t you remember? So, that’s why I slept with James instead of you after Drew and Gary.”
“Wait, you slept with James?” I felt my heart drop.
“Yeah I had been before we left.”
“Kat…” I murmured.
“Is there a problem? It was just sex,” she had turned back to me rudely.
“No,” I said blinking childish tears away.
“You told me yourself it would just be that one time with us,” she repeated
“I know what I said, I was there.”
The air was heavy between us as we both didn’t make a sound.
Kat broke the silence sticking out her hand, “friends?”
I sighed and shook it, “friends” I repeated. She made a face, I laughed.
“Don’t be so grumpy,” she said in a mocking voice.
I couldn’t help it, she was drowning me.
Kat
Early December 1984
“Can we run it through one more time?” I asked Thomas yet again.
“Fucking, come on!” Thomas said, expressing his frustration once again at me.
It was our opening night of our tour with Arctic Circle in New York City, and I wanted to make sure everything was perfect.
“We’ve done it enough, Kat”, James said annoyed. He hadn’t been in the best mood since I had told him we couldn’t have sex anymore because I was sleeping with Shane.
“Okay, okay, fine… Jesus” I said
“Come on Kitty Kat, put on a fucking smile, you’re fine” James added
“I know I am,” I quipped back at him
>
I watched as Tom shot him a look of pure hate. He was still not over the fact that I had slept with him.
My late nights with Shane had distracted me so from practice, but I knew this by heart. I felt like Shane and I were in an unspoken relationship, similar to what Drew and I had before. I felt closer to him than anyone I had before, despite the fact, of course, that he and I had agreed to this being only sexually related.
Thomas
December 1984
We were about to go on stage for the opening night and Kat kept staring at me. Finally I turned to her, “What? What could possibly be wrong with you right now?”
She toyed with her fingers nervously.
I looked around, James and Ian were behind us and the stage crew was all around.
“Come on, Kat, this is not the time to get stage jitters,” I told her.
I watched as her glance went to Shane.
He met her eyes, walking over, “Ready?” he asked her.
Her face broke into a wide smile as she kissed his lips fully in front of us all.
Shane gave her a light tap on her bum as she giggled and turned back to me, all smiles now.
When we performed that night she was flawless.
Roy
That Same Night
“Everything went pretty smoothly, don’t you think, Shane?” I asked
Shane didn’t seem to hear me; his eyes were focused on Kat who was in the corner of the dressing room talking to James.
‘Shane?” I said again
“Oh, erm, yeah,” he responded
“Are you even listening to me?” I asked already knowing the answer
“Yeah… sorry… what?”
I repeated the question.