by Ruth Reid
Judith walked them to the front door and helped them with their coats.
Leah leaned toward Judith. “Denki for nett talking about . . .”
Judith arched her brows. “About what?”
“You know . . . the stranger. My mamm told me if you started talking about him, I had to leave.”
Judith swallowed. The lump in her throat continued to grow. “Please.” She cleared her throat and forced a smile. “Tell your mamm the topic didn’t come up.”
Leah nodded. “I hope you’ll be able to come to my haus for the next Sunday singing.”
Judith opened the door. “I hope so too.” She followed the guests out to the porch and waved as they climbed into their open-topped buggies. The lump growing in Judith’s throat swelled with a suffocating grip. Leah’s mamm might not want Judith to attend her daughter’s singing. The thought made her wish she had the safety of Andrew’s arms to comfort her.
Deborah came up beside Judith while Ben went to pull the buggy around. “This was a lot of fun. Maybe we can get together for sewing later this week.”
“Jah, that would be gut,” Judith replied, but her attention was on the porch where Andrew and Clare were talking with Timothy and Sadie.
“Watch over mei sister,” Timothy said.
Andrew nodded soberly.
Clare leaned toward Andrew. “I’m older, and he treats me as though I’m the boppli sister.”
Deborah tapped Judith’s arm. “Here’s Ben. I mustn’t keep him waiting,” she said and walked away.
Judith said good night to Timothy and Sadie, and as they headed for the buggy, she continued to the house. Clare chattered to both Andrew and now Levi, who had joined them on the porch. As Judith climbed the porch steps, Clare broke from her conversation and directed her attention to Judith.
“I had a wundebaar time,” Clare said.
Judith climbed the steps. “I’m glad Andrew brought you.”
“Ach nay, I forgot my dish.” She went back into the house, leaving Andrew and Levi on the porch with Judith.
Levi stepped forward. “Can I talk with you?” He placed his hand on her lower back and directed her off the porch.
Andrew followed. “Judith—”
“I’ll be fine.” She meant what she said. Now that she no longer held animosity toward Levi, she would no longer be influenced by his charm. So she hoped, anyway.
“I have to talk with you first.” Andrew reached for her arm and gave it a slight tug. “It’s important,” he said with an urgency she’d never heard.
Levi snorted. “Andrew, do you mind?” He motioned to the porch. “Your date is up there.”
Andrew crossed his arms, planted his feet, and glowered at Levi. At the depth of Andrew’s icy stare, bone marrow could freeze. “You talked with her all evening. Why don’t you go keep her company while Judith and I have a few words?”
Judith glanced at Levi. “I’ll only be a minute.” She turned to Andrew. “What’s so important?”
He guided her several feet until they were under the maple tree, and even the moonlight couldn’t be seen on his face. “Are you in love with him?”
“Andrew, such a personal question.”
“Don’t fall for his lies.”
“You don’t need to worry about me.” Despite her attempt to keep her voice calm, it quivered. She flinched when he touched her arm. She’d already caused him family strife, she couldn’t allow him to be seen touching her arm.
“I’m sorry that I didn’t have a chance to tell you about Clare. I tried to get here early.”
Judith turned when she heard Levi clear his throat. He and Clare walked up to Judith and Andrew.
“Your date is cold, Andrew,” Levi announced.
A chill ran down Judith’s back.
Levi placed his hand on her back. “You were finished talking, right?”
“Jah,” Judith answered. She turned to Clare. “It was nice meeting you.”
Andrew scratched the back of his neck. He turned to Clare. “Are you ready?”
Clare nodded. A gust of cold air caused her to shiver, and she stepped closer to Andrew. “I think the ride home might get a little chilly.”
Andrew held out his hands, offering to carry her dish. Judith thought it strange he didn’t offer to shield Clare from the wind or rub her arms as he had done with her by the river.
Judith watched them walk toward Andrew’s open-top courting buggy. A pang of sadness at seeing Andrew help Clare into the buggy took Judith by surprise. Her prayer had been for Andrew to find courage to fall in love again. So why couldn’t she rejoice for him?
Levi cleared his throat.
She turned toward him. “What did you want to talk about?”
The wind sent a chill down her back. Levi reached his arm around her shoulder at the same time Andrew’s buggy drove past, and Judith noticed Clare sliding closer to Andrew. An unsettling thought passed her mind—only Andrew could provide the warmth Judith longed for, the type that penetrated the soul and kindled the heart. She sidestepped Levi’s arm. He was no substitute for Andrew, even if Andrew and she were only friends.
“We can sit on the porch,” Judith suggested, already walking away.
Levi followed. His playful nature had turned serious. “I treated you badly,” he said once they sat on the step.
Her hands were dry, her heartbeat steady; even her breathing hadn’t fluctuated. No longer would his long lashes or blue eyes cause her to stammer. She was free.
Levi reached for Judith’s hand. “I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?”
Judith placed her other hand over his, gave it a gentle squeeze, and then pulled both of her hands free. “I forgive you.” The words came easily. In her heart, she had already forgiven him.
“I’m so ashamed.” He closed his eyes for a brief moment, and when he opened them again, he cracked a smile. “I’ve repented of my sins, Judith. I’m turning my life around.”
“I’m happy for you, Levi.” Her words caught in her throat as she realized she was truly happy for him.
“I plan to be baptized. I really have changed.”
Judith smiled. “I believe you.” She was glad to see that he looked genuinely pleased about his decision to commit his life to God and join the church.
“There’s something else I need to ask.” He gazed up to the sky for a moment, then brought his focus to her and searched her eyes. “Will you ever find it in your heart to forget how badly I hurt you?”
“I already told you. I forgive you.”
“I want to marry you,” he blurted.
Judith’s breath caught in her throat. She’d waited for two years to court Levi. She’d dreamt of his proposal and longed to see their names published in church. She glanced in the direction of the garden, thinking of how she had planned to plant extra celery to serve at the wedding.
He shifted, then finally stood. “Judith . . .” His voice turned husky. “I’m asking you to marry me.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Andrew turned the horse into the Kings’ driveway. He stepped out of the buggy and helped Clare down.
She dipped her head into a slight bow. “Denki for the ride home.”
“No problem.” He walked her to the front door. “I hope we made it before ten.”
Clare gazed toward the barn. “My parents are not back yet.” She pointed to the empty lean-to joined to the barn.
He rubbed the back of his neck. “I should be heading home. Are you going to be all right here alone?” He glanced over the yard but didn’t see any sign of Timothy’s buggy.
Her smile turned into a frown. “I thought you’d like to sit on the porch swing with me.” She motioned to the two-seater bench suspended by chains.
“I, uh . . .” He looked at the dark house. It would be rude for him not to wait until her parents returned home. “Sure.” He motioned for her to lead the way to the swing.
“I had a nice time at the singing tonight.” She sat and tapped the bench
beside her.
Seeing the narrow section, he hesitated until she tapped her hand against the bench again. Andrew sat down but bounced back up to his feet when he realized there wasn’t enough space for his arm other than around Clare. He moved to the porch railing. “I’ll be over here.”
He leaned against the post. He could breathe easier with some distance between them.
“I wouldn’t mind your arm around me.”
He crossed and uncrossed his arms. “I’m gut,” he explained, tapping the wooden rail before crossing his arms again.
“Isn’t the moon large tonight?”
Andrew turned to look at the moon, and when he turned back, Clare was beside him.
“I like it when the moon is full, don’t you?” She nudged her shoulder against his side.
“It sure sheds light.” Enough light, he tried telling himself, that she shouldn’t be frightened to sit alone.
“Andrew.” Her arm came up under his. “You can kiss me if you want.”
He blew out a breath. Her parents wanted her home by ten, and they weren’t even home to receive her. He glanced at her as she closed her eyes and puckered her lips.
He turned and tilted his head toward the sky. “Maybe we should count the stars.” That would keep them busy.
Clare sighed. “Wouldn’t you like to kiss me before you ask?” She leaned forward.
He leaned back. “Ask what?”
Her eyes widened, and she planted her hands on her hips. “Andrew Lapp.”
He cringed. With her back against the moonlight, her face was shadowed. But the frustration in her tone wasn’t masked.
“My parents gave their permission.”
So much for counting stars. “Clare, I’m not sure what we’re talking about.”
“Don’t you want to kiss me before we’re married?”
He lifted his hands to his face and massaged his temples. He hadn’t even held her hand all night. How could she think . . .
“Clare, could I have a drink of water, please?”
She looked annoyed, but she disappeared into the house and came back with a glass.
He gulped the water down. “Denki,” he said, handing her the glass.
“Do you want more?”
“Sure.” He’d be waterlogged at this rate if her parents didn’t arrive soon.
When she returned, Andrew sipped the water, prolonging the silence. “We don’t know each other well enough to kiss.” He couldn’t say the word marriage. She needed to know he wouldn’t be kissing her tonight or ever.
Hearing buggy wheels grinding on the gravel driveway saved him from any further discussion. Clare’s mother stepped out of the buggy and climbed the porch steps. Andrew wanted to tell Mrs. King he delivered her daughter on time.
Instead, he looked at Clare. “Denki for attending the singing with me.”
“I enjoyed myself very much, Andrew.”
“Guder nacht,” he said, already stepping off the porch. He wasted no time climbing onto his buggy seat and driving off without looking back. It wasn’t until he was home and putting the buggy away that he noticed her rice pudding dish on the floorboard. His stomach sank at the thought of having to return it to her.
As he entered his house, he met the Fischers leaving. Their long faces startled him. Why were they here tonight? As a baptized member of the church, he would have known about a special meeting had one been planned.
“How was the evening singing?” his father asked.
“Fine,” he replied and walked straight to his bedroom. He had too much on his mind for conversation.
Judith had made it clear that she didn’t need his protection from Levi. She might be strong enough to resist Levi’s charm, but what worried Andrew was, did she want to? She had a soft heart. Maybe she was ready to give him another chance. Andrew’s gut tightened. He’d seen the determined look in Levi’s eyes before. Levi intended to move back into her good graces.
Andrew needed to close himself off and pray. Judith might not have wanted his physical support, but spiritually, he was going to intercede on her behalf.
He prayed into the early morning hours, until sleep released him. In his dreams, he and Judith knelt together, seeking God.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Judith swallowed. Levi had steadied his eyes on hers, awaiting her answer. Every hope she’d had revolved around planning a wedding. Celebrating an event, rather than concentrating on the holy union between two people—joined by God. The doleful truth choked her airway. She hadn’t been told by God to marry Levi. Freed of the misconception, a shiver traveled through her.
“I can’t.”
He leaned closer. “But . . . but we’ve always planned to get married. When you turned nineteen. I thought—”
“I thought that’s what I wanted too.” Her voice broke and she bowed her head. Lord, please give me the words to say. “I was in love with the idea of marriage.” Judith looked into his eyes. “I can’t marry you, Levi. I don’t love you.”
Her dreams of marriage and children were no longer reachable now that her eyes were opened. She could never marry someone she didn’t love.
“Ach, here you are, Levi.” Martha stepped out from the house and onto the porch. “I didn’t interrupt anything, did I?”
Judith groaned at the sound of her sister’s sarcastic voice. Father, I pray Your grace that enabled me to forgive Levi will also extend to Martha. She stood. She’d given Levi her answer, and she wasn’t about to hang out on the porch explaining anything to Martha.
Levi followed her up the steps. “Judith, I wanted us to talk more.”
Judith turned, but from the corner of her eye, Martha glared at her. “I have nay more to say, Levi,” Judith said, reaching for the doorknob.
Martha walked up the steps. “Levi, you promised on the nacht we spent together we would go away.”
Levi tossed his head. After a quick sheepish glance at Judith, he turned to Martha. “We can’t leave. What would we do? Where would we go?”
Judith pushed open the door. “I’ll let you two work out your plans.” She escaped into the house and leaned against the inside of the door to catch her breath. How could Martha speak so boldly about her sin? At least Levi had the decency to appear ashamed. Martha seemed to take pride in her blatant transgressions.
“Lord, I pray for my sister’s soul. I don’t think she sees herself sinking into a miry pit, yet the scriptures are clear. In the last days some will fall away . . . Please, show her Your hand that she might turn from her wicked ways and follow You.”
The doorknob jiggled, and Judith stepped aside.
Martha entered. “What were you doing, trying to listen through the door?” She smiled. “We’ll probably get married. After everyone hears about us spending the nacht together, I’m sure Levi will speak to the bishop.”
Judith’s breath caught in her throat. “You threatened to tell everyone?”
“Well, Levi says nau that he doesn’t want to leave the community. He had some kind of experience on the road that frightened him into keeping the faith, or something like that. Nau he won’t leave.”
Maybe Martha hadn’t realized it yet, but to speak with the bishop regarding marriage meant Martha and Levi would have to be baptized and live according to the Ordnung. Judith only hoped that her sister’s words of commitment would be toward God and not to tickle Levi’s or Bishop Lapp’s ear.
Martha sauntered toward the kitchen. “Who would have guessed I would marry before you.” She glanced over her shoulder. “This is probably what happened to Ellen’s sister Katie. I wonder if she fell in love with men who wanted other women too. What was the name of that girl Andrew took home from the singing?”
“Leave Andrew out of this.” Judith clasped the back of her neck. Keep your words . . . Don’t take her bait and sin. She wouldn’t have guessed Martha was capable of such cruelty. Following her sister into the kitchen, Judith realized that losing Levi wasn’t what hurt. But the profound awareness of
her love for Andrew weighted her heart.
Lord, help me, please.
Judith sucked in a deep breath and released it slowly. “I forgive you, Martha.” She paused, giving Martha a chance to respond. When she didn’t, Judith continued. “I’ve held resentment toward you, and I asked God to cleanse my heart.”
Martha turned to leave the kitchen.
Judith raised her voice. “I’m nett letting mei bitterness separate me from God’s plan.”
Her sister still made no response.
Judith heated a pot of water to soak the dishes. Even if Martha continued to ignore her willingness to mend their relationship, she had followed God’s word and forgiven Martha. When she heard her parents’ voices, she met them at the door. Rebecca was asleep in Mamm’s arms. Her mother carried her sister to the bedroom, while her daed placed his hat on the wall hook.
“There’s apple pie left over. Would you like a slice?” Judith asked.
He looked up at Judith and paused before removing his boots.
“Nay.” He stood and tapped his stomach. “I’ve eaten plenty.”
“I could warm some cider?”
He shook his head. “I’m going to bed.”
It wasn’t unusual for her father to retire early, but tonight he seemed distracted. Before they left for the Lapps’ he’d commented on how good her pie smelled and how he hoped she’d save him a piece. Now he seemed anxious to retreat. Her mother, too, hadn’t come out to the kitchen after putting Rebecca to bed.
Judith rinsed the last dish and placed it on the towel to dry. It was good that her parents were tired. If her mother had come out to the kitchen, she would have asked how the evening went, and Judith didn’t want to slip and say something about Martha’s problems.
She paused at Martha’s room. Under the door, a hint of light meant her sister wasn’t asleep. Judith raised her hand to tap on the door, then stopped herself. God would have to deal with Martha’s situation. Until then, Judith would pray for her. Pray for them both, Martha and Levi.
When she moved away from her sister’s bedroom, Judith heard weeping. She moved to her parents’ door. It was wrong to eavesdrop, she knew—but what was wrong? Was there worse news about Samuel that she hadn’t heard?