by Amy McKinley
“Those images stay with us.”
“My dad never wanted me. He would tell Mom she tricked him into marrying him.”
“Then he was a fool, because you’re worth everything.” The thought of Riley, so young, blaming herself, and faced with one parent’s abandonment, not to mention the abuse, left a bitter taste in my mouth.
She shifted in my arms. “I’m sure you deal with way worse when you have to go on missions.”
“Death isn’t easy. It haunts us. Shapes us.”
Tears gathered and welled, but she blinked most of them away. “I’m all alone. Have been for so long.”
I swept under her lashes, where wetness clung to the pad of my thumb. “You’re not alone anymore. I’m here.”
Neither of us moved. The rhythmic break of the waves was the only sound. Her hand cupped my cheek.
“Stay with me?”
I nodded then lay alongside her on the bed. She snuggled close, and I traced circles on her arm with my thumb in a soothing motion. I wanted her but wouldn’t push her. So much had happened, and the last thing I wanted was to take advantage.
“I was being stubborn, trying to prove that I could stay by myself after what happened to Charles. But the truth is, I want you, and I wasn’t ready to fully admit how much.” Her whisper-soft voice echoed what was in my mind. “I’m done fighting myself.”
I shifted so we were face-to-face, and her gaze dropped to my mouth then lifted. When her pupils dilated, the last of my control evaporated, and I bent and brushed my lips across hers. Testing. It took all my strength to go slow, to let her tell me it was okay.
Riley
When Xander broke the drugging kiss, my dazed gaze clung to his features, taut with lust. He peeled away my T-shirt and stripped off my panties, his eyes dark and hungry. A shiver danced over my bare flesh as he dropped sensual kisses along the curve of my neck. I tilted my head to give him greater access.
I tugged at his offensive shorts, working to free him so there was nothing between us. His arms wound around me. I’ve never wanted anyone as much as him. He sealed his mouth over mine, and an electric current trailed in the wake of his touch. Sparks flew between us. His hands slid down my back and circled my waist before he lifted me on top of him.
The ebb and flow of the crashing waves couldn’t compete with the roar of passion between us. He was long and hard between my thighs, and I rocked against him, thrilling in the low growl that rumbled deep in his chest. His fingers tangled in my hair and tugged my head back. I arched against him, and he trailed kisses lower. He took my nipple in his mouth and swirled his tongue around the tight peak, and I cried out. God, I wanted all of him.
“Please,” I begged.
He released my hair and slipped his hand into the slickness between my thighs, and my body convulsed from the teasing caress. My hands clung to his shoulders, and I gasped when he increased the pressure.
I needed more. I tugged at the short hairs at the back of his head, urging him to give me release, to kiss me again. Pushing against his hand in frustration, I whimpered.
His deep, guttural voice ignited another surge of heat. “I want you, Riley.”
My breath came in puffs, but I managed to whisper, “I want you too. Hurry.” I needed him to fill me. He fumbled around with the nightstand drawer, and it sounded like he whispered a little prayer that his brother had left some behind. I heard the crinkle of a condom wrapper. Then his mouth slanted across mine, and I lost myself to his ministrations. So many sensations. When he teased my clit, spreading the slickness around the sensitive bud, my eyes about rolled back in my head. I couldn’t take much more, and then he lined up against my entrance. I rocked against him, frantic in my need.
He thrust deeply, seating himself fully inside. I cried out as every nerve ending in my body was overstimulated in the best possible way. A fine sheen glistened over his chiseled chest in the moonlight, and my fingers danced over each ridge and valley.
His mouth captured mine again, his tongue caressing as he pulled out almost all the way, only to slide back in, over and over again. Stars exploded behind my eyelids, and heat blanketed every inch of my skin. The hard friction of his body drove me wild, and I tore my mouth from him as the orgasm seized my entire body.
A scream burst from my lips, and he swallowed it with his mouth, increasing his pace until he followed with his climax, just seconds after mine.
Secure in his arms and with our bodies joined, I never wanted to leave. He seemed content with our closeness, too, and we stayed like that while our breathing eased. His hand rubbed lazy circles around my back.
When the chilly air from the open window once again caused goose bumps to form on my exposed skin, Xander lifted me from him. Immediately, I felt the loss. He disposed of the condom then returned and wrapped me in his arms, situating us under the covers. My legs tangled with his, and my palm settled on his abdomen. I was exhausted, and it didn’t take long for my satisfied body to hover on the verge of sleep.
I wanted to tell him that I loved him. In every way, Xander was what I wanted. I desperately hoped that everything would work out, and I could keep him.
Visions of what Xander did to me last night invaded my mind, and I swept my hair into a messy bun as heat infused my flushed skin. After waking me from the dream and making love, he’d spent the night. I’d awoken halfway sprawled across his chest, with our legs tangled together. I nibbled on my lower lip. Lying in his arms had been comforting and natural, and we’d stayed in bed, talking.
He’d reassured me again that I wasn’t alone, and for the first time, that emptiness inside me wasn’t a gaping hole. It shrank to a dull ache. In time, if things continued to progress and go well between us, I thought it might go away. He made me feel safe, happy, and loved.
With a sigh, I opened my laptop and stared at a blank Word document. I needed to write a cover letter then paste it into an email to the New York gallery.
Xander had gone for a swim, and I found myself watching his powerful strokes instead of working. With a resigned sigh, I closed the laptop and set it next to the book. My fingers brushed the raised silver spiderweb design on the cover, and a sense of unease settled in my gut. I needed to talk to Xander about the similarities in some scenes and see what he thought.
The towel on the chair next to me was dry, so I grabbed that, sunglasses, and The Spider’s Prey then went to wait for him to finish his laps. Once I had the towel spread out, I sat cross-legged and thumbed through the book, finding the scene where the story’s protagonist poisons her husband.
Minutes later, Xander emerged from the ocean with water clinging to all the places I would like to touch. The thought of running my hands over every inch of him sent a wave of heat to my core. The sexy grin that curved his lips let me know he knew what I was thinking.
It wasn’t the time. I couldn’t put off showing him the scene. As far as I knew, there weren’t any leads on Charles’s death. The only clues pointed to me, and I was aware that Xander was the reason I wasn’t behind bars.
My stomach swirled with a deadly combination of desire and dread for my future. Will we have one? Or is mine already decided? My family history was bleak, and I wanted—no, needed—to break the pattern. That meant I had to consider every possible clue, bring them forward, and be an active participant in clearing my name of Charles’s death if the blood on my apartment door was found to be his. I couldn’t just lean on Xander’s capable shoulders, no matter how appealing that was.
After he took a seat next to me on the extra towel, I picked up the hardcover and opened it to the start of the scene. “This is weird, but I swear this scene is similar to what’s happened with Charles and me.” I tapped the page. “Check it out. Tell me I’m crazy.”
Heat radiated off his body and into mine as we sat side by side. Our fingers brushed as he pulled the book onto his lap, and I shivered from the contact.
“What am I looking for?”
“Here,”—I pointed to the sta
rt of the paragraph—“where the male lead is poisoned.”
I couldn’t shake the unease that what had happened to Charles and me was the product of a copycat killer.
Xander bent his head as he read where I’d indicated. With my arms looped around my bent legs, I dug my heels into the sand.
When he reached the end of the scene and met my gaze with a seriousness that gave me pause, my worry escalated tenfold.
“This is weird, but it’s probably nothing. Try not to worry about it.”
“There’s another part.” I took the book back, flipping through the pages until I found what I was looking for. “Right here, the wife hits the, ah, mistress”—I couldn’t stop the cringe even if I wanted to—“with a baseball bat.”
I handed the book over when he tugged on the corner, watching the frown deepen as he skimmed it.
“This isn’t what happened to you, though. It’s different enough.” He winked then tapped the tip of my nose. “Maybe reading a thriller isn’t the best thing, considering all that’s happened?”
“God, that’s so true.” I rolled my eyes so hard I almost listed to the side. “I’m feeling a little too dramatic.” With a thump, I closed the book and set it aside. I flashed him a smile. Even though he’d shown concern at the one scene, I was glad he wasn’t overly worried. “Thanks. I’m probably overthinking this.” I was feeling much better, and a thrill shot through me from our close proximity.
“I think we need to do something to take your mind off things.” His wolfish grin made me laugh.
“Surfing?” I suggested, knowing it wasn’t where his thoughts were focused but wanting to work off some of the stress I was experiencing. Tonight, we would explore his ideas, and for the first time in a long while, I couldn’t wait for darkness to fall.
25
Riley
The delicious smell of bacon pulled me from a deep sleep Thursday morning, and I patted Xander’s spot with my hand. The indent was still there from where his head had rested. A grin stretched my mouth wide, and I buried my face in his pillow, inhaling his intoxicating scent.
When we were done on the beach, Xander had pulled me close and whispered what he wanted to do to me. Like the Pied Piper, I’d willingly followed. We were up most of the night, and I was deliciously relaxed.
I swung my legs over the side of the bed then padded to the master bathroom. It didn’t take long to brush my teeth and take a quick shower. I put on a bathing suit and a cover-up because I wanted to work outside rather than be cooped up in a room.
At the entrance to the kitchen, I paused. Xander was at the stovetop, flipping bacon. With each motion of the spatula, muscles rippled across his broad back. There were a few scars, including the recent one from the gunshot wound. I’d traced them last night, brushing kisses over every mark then swirling my tongue over that sexy-as-hell tattoo he had on his bicep. Heat pooled in my core, and I wanted him again. It was that simple. All I had to do was look at him, hear the deep timbre of his voice, or feel the electric current of his touch, and I was a needy mess.
I must have made a noise, because he turned, wearing that grin I loved. With an internal shake to loosen the thrall of lust, I crossed to the coffee machine. “Want a cup?”
“Sure, love.” He served eggs and bacon onto two plates. “Do you want to go for a run on the beach after I swim a few miles?”
He rounded the peninsula, where I was already seated with my breakfast and steaming hot coffee. Before he sat next to me, he cupped the back of my neck and brushed his lips across mine. I wanted more, but we both had things to get done, so I settled instead for the promise of that night.
We chatted as we ate, the conversation effortless and fun. Even being silent together was companionable—I just liked being with him. It felt right.
About an hour later, Xander went for his swim while I gathered what I needed to work on and settled on the beach, this time in a chair.
It was in the quiet moments like those that Charles’s death invaded my mind. I blinked back tears and rubbed at my chest. I had to keep my mind off what had happened, or I would fall victim to hours of sobbing. I might have been done with him, but he didn’t have to die.
I’d decided to occupy myself with the little bit of work I had to do. The laptop booted up, and then I stared at a blank screen. Why is this so intimidating? It was just a cover letter and shouldn’t have been so hard. I clicked around until I pulled up an email from a few years ago that I’d sent to my agent for one of the Chicago galleries. This would be easier. With a few changes, it was ready to go. I attached the pictures then used my phone’s hot spot to send everything off.
Close to sunset, I decided to go for a quick run. Xander had been working in one of the houses for a couple of hours, allowing me to relax. With the only thing I had to do finished, I put my laptop in the sleeve and then in my beach bag to protect it from the sand. A missed call from Ava showed on my phone, but she hadn’t left a message. I texted, feeling guilty that I hadn’t told her about everything that had happened, but I didn’t want to alarm her while she was working. Not even two seconds later, my phone rang, and her name flashed across the screen.
“Hey! I’m so glad you called. I’m sorry I missed you earlier.”
“Hi back.” Ava’s voice carried a smile, and I could picture her grinning. “Is that the ocean I’m hearing? Are you at the beach?”
“Yeah.” I nibbled on my bottom lip. “I’m with Xander.”
“Good for you. I’m glad you’re moving on from the professor.” She laughed. “From the sound of your voice, things are good?”
Shit. I blinked back tears then forced a steadiness I didn’t quite feel into my voice. “Between Xander and me, yes. But there’s been some pretty bad stuff that’s happened, so I’m on his island with him.”
Silence met my ear from the other end, and my stomach tightened.
I was going to have to tell her. “Ava?”
“I’m here.” She sounded tense and worried. “What’s going on? Do I need to fly you out to me? I can stay longer, and we can spend the extra days shopping.”
My heart melted. “Thanks, Aves, but I’m okay for now. Finish up with work, and I’ll catch up when you get back next week.”
“I’m coming back Sunday, but if you don’t tell me right now what happened, I’ll jump on the next flight and come to you.”
She was tenacious, and there would be no avoiding telling her. “To start with, my apartment was broken into again.”
“Were you there?”
“No, thankfully.” I blew out a breath and got ready for her reaction. “But there was blood on the door and a knife. We don’t know where that came from yet, but obviously, I can’t live there anymore. Xander came to the rescue.”
“That’s scary as hell. I’m just glad he was there for you. Were there prints on the knife? Do you know who’s behind this?”
“The only prints were mine. It was one of my kitchen knives.”
“Did you think the professor’s behind it?”
“It crossed my mind until two days ago, when his body washed up on a reef here.”
“What?!” There was a sound like she’d dropped the phone, but then she was back on the line. “I don’t understand. Is the professor dead? As in drowned?”
“Yes.” Tears filled my eyes at the thought. I’d made my peace with letting our relationship go, but that didn’t mean I’d stopped caring for him completely.
“I’m so sorry, Riles. Maybe you shouldn’t stay there. So much has happened. Fly out to me in California. A change of scenery might be best.”
But I couldn’t. Not with the ongoing investigation. I rolled onto my stomach on the towel. I caught a glimpse of Xander on the roof of the house he was working on from my new view. His shoulders glistened and flexed as he nailed the new material in place. My stomach clenched, and my heart pounded. I had my answer. “It would be the best thing to do, but there’s Xander.”
“Hotness versus shopping. I
see your dilemma.”
“Yeah, I can’t seem to tear myself away from him. A part of me wishes I’d met Xander first. It’s different with him. Intense. If I’d never gotten involved with Charles, maybe he would still be alive.”
“You can’t think like that. Oh God—I wonder how his wife took the news.”
The pleasant burn from watching Xander extinguished with that comment, replaced by ice in my veins. “I don’t know. I’m not going to go anywhere near her. I can’t imagine how she’s doing. Do you know that he told me he demanded a divorce? Like I would take him back after what he did to another woman. It was crazy.”
“That poor woman.” Ava huffed. “Well, I’m sure she’s happily spending his money now.”
“I guess there’s that.” I rubbed my forehead, debating whether or not to tell Ava the rest.
“Is something else wrong? You went silent over there, and I swear I can hear your mind spinning.”
“I’m worried that the police think I’m a suspect. The blood that was on my door was human.”
“What does that mean?”
“I have no idea, but it’s concerning.”
“I can’t imagine they would think you’re to blame. Go be with your guy, and don’t let this get to you. It’ll all work out.”
I wasn’t so sure. “Thanks, Aves.”
“I’ve got to run, but please call me if you need me, or when you find out anything more.”
After we disconnected, I tried to let the sense of impending disaster go, but it was pointless. For some reason, death stalked me, and I worried about what could be next.
Xander
Clouds filtered through the sky, giving momentary breaks from the intense heat of the sun’s rays while I made repairs to Tyler’s roof. Sweat trickled down my forehead. I wiped it away with the back of my hand before it ran into my eyes.