“Yes, well.” She cleared her throat, sat up straight and looked directly at her boss. “Drew — I mean Mr. O’Connor — began to have doubts about the book once we arrived in Ireland. I believe he didn’t realize how much of his personal life, his life outside sports and his public persona, would have to be included. There are things in his past that are painful, maybe from his childhood — I have no idea what they are since he doesn’t trust me enough to confide in me — but the closer we got to the place where he was born, the moodier and more withdrawn he became. When I tried to probe, to ask questions, he became angry and made it clear that parts of his life were off limits. But he never told me that the book was a no-go. I have since learned that he only conveyed that decision to Mr. Morrison, his agent.”
“What I don’t understand, Ms. Porter, is why he didn’t send you home once he decided that the book was dead.”
She squirmed in her seat. “You would have to ask him that question. The day you called we’d planned to visit his family’s village as part of our continuing research.”
“This is awful,” Amanda Napier, the head of publicity whined. “We’ve already started our campaign, sent out teasers to the press, built anticipation.” She pushed her chair back and stood towering over Kate in skyscraper stilettos. “I admired how clever you were when the pictures came out of Drew kissing you at the airport and snuggled up together on the plane. That was publicity gold, but you and Drew O’Connor as a couple? Good try, Kate, but I hope you kept your emotions in check. Women fall all over him, which makes him a PR person’s dream. He doesn’t even try to get attention. It just happens, like this item in today’s Tattler,” she said, waving a printout of a U.K. tabloid’s photo and story.
“Let me see that,” Kate said, but Charles intercepted it. She grabbed the paper from his hand and paled. It was a photo of Drew with that redhead from the hotel in Galway. The headline screamed, “IRISH SKIER FINDS LOVE IN GALWAY.” The accompanying picture was grainy, but Drew’s his lips were about to meet the bitch’s ear as she leaned toward him. Kate blinked several times and bit her tongue to keep from screaming.
Charles took the paper from her hand and whispered, “It’s not what it looks like. He wouldn’t…”
Kate stood and rested her palms on the table to support herself. Later she would wonder how she’d been able to form sentences that made sense. “The food on the plane must have made me sick. I don’t feel well. Since it appears the book deal is off, I’ll get back to work on my other projects tomorrow if that’s all right. Mr. Morrison can work with the lawyers on cancelling Mr. O’Connor’s contract.” She gathered her things and walked out of the room without waiting for an answer.
Fuck it. If they fire me, I’ll deal with it, she thought, but she couldn’t stay in that room and let that grown-up mean girl taunt her for one second more.
Another editor was using her office while she was on leave so there was no place to hide. She bit her lip until it almost bled to hold back the sob that was building inside her and impatiently stabbed the button for the elevator. Once on the street, she hailed a cab and somehow made it home before collapsing.
Charles called Drew the moment he left the publisher’s offices. “Oh, man. You really blew it this time.”
“Aren’t they letting me out of the contract?” It was early evening in Ireland and Drew was on his way to pick up fish and chips that he planned to eat along Galway’s sea wall.
“The contract’s history. It’ll cost, but it’s done.”
“Then what’s the problem? Is Kate okay?”
“No, Kate’s not okay, not okay at all. You really are a bastard. What the hell were you thinking?” Charles blurted out. He hardly ever lost it, but he liked Kate and hated to see how that photo had devastated her.
“Are you fucking going to tell me what I did or make me guess. If this involves Kate, I need to know so I can make it right.” Drew’s hands fisted as he strode to his hotel room’s window to gaze blindly at the lively scene in the large square below.
“You really don’t know, do you?” Charles’ anger subsided as he realized that this was yet one more example of how innocent pictures impacted celebrities. “One of the publicity people showed Kate a paparazzi photo of you whispering to or kissing the ear of some redhead. The story’s headline said you’d found love in Galway. Kate took one look and went ballistic.”
“Where is she? I need to explain. Aw, fuck. She’ll never believe me. Kate was sure that woman was after me and I didn’t take it seriously. After I got back from the airport I couldn’t just sit in the room we’d shared, so I went to the hotel bar. As soon as that girl approached me I turned away, but she was persistent. The place was noisy and I had to get close so she’d hear me tell her to get lost.”
“Yeah, well, makes sense because I’ve witnessed enough of those situations. I know it meant nothing, but I’m not the one who’s in love with you.”
“And she is? She told you?” Drew’s voice was hopeful.
“No, but it sure seems that way and you’re following close behind.”
“I can’t lose her. I’ll catch the first flight out.”
“Good idea. I’m going to be honest with you, Drew. The pictures were bad enough, but the story with it said that brainy Kate is history and that you’ve moved on to someone more your type. I saw her reaction and I’m not sure this is fixable.”
“When she’s calmer she’ll realize that the whole story is bullshit, but until I get there I don’t want her to be alone. Can you get Liz to stay with her?”
“Yeah, like wild horses could keep Elizabeth away when her friend is hurting. Don’t worry. We’ll take care of her until you get back.”
CHAPTER 21
“I can’t take this happening again and again. I’m so done with him,” Kate said between sobs as she lay face down on her bed. Liz sat next to her propped against a pillow and rubbed her friend’s back. She’d listened and comforted, yet sympathy and even rocky road ice cream hadn’t worked, so she decided to try another tactic.
“Charles said that Drew was only telling the bitch to get lost when someone snapped that picture. It had to be staged. The whole incident lasted less than a minute or two.”
Kate turned her tear-reddened eyes toward Liz. “Of course Charles is sticking up for him. He’s his best friend.”
“And I’m yours, sweetie. I wouldn’t try to persuade you to hear what Drew has to say if I didn’t believe that this is the same situation as with that blond ski groupie who was photographed with him in Austria. He’s a celebrity, Kate. That shit comes with the territory, so either you trust him or you don’t, and if you don’t, well…”
“It’s not only about trust. Even if he’s totally innocent, it’s me that’s the problem. I don’t think I can deal with women throwing themselves at the man I love and then have the evidence shoved in my face. It hurts too much.”
“It does and I understand. Ask Charles how he feels knowing I’m half naked and kissing some gorgeous also half naked actor, even if he never sees it. It’s my job and I know that there’s nothing to it, but that doesn’t stop him from fits of jealousy.” She shrugged and shook her head. “If and when I become famous, the gossips will try to connect me with this guy or that and Charles, or whoever I’m with then, will have to deal with the same kind of shit you are now. So should Charles dump me because of my job?”
“No, of course not.”
“Then why would you walk away from Drew for the same reason?”
Kate sat up and blew her nose. “Because logic has nothing to do with emotions and my heart isn’t ready to listen to my brain. My heart is convinced that I’m going to get hurt and I don’t know if I can go through that again.”
“That was years ago! You were young and he was a selfish bastard. Do not compare Drew to that…that…” Liz sputtered, “Neanderthal!”
Kate’s lips twitched.
“Is that a smile?”
“No. Well, maybe a little one beca
use the name fits.”
“I call them like I see them,” Liz deadpanned, earning another smile. “But Kate, surely you realize that Drew isn’t Jim. That jackass treated you like shit, like you had no mind of your own, and it killed me that you let him control you. Plus, he drank too much. Okay, so he was gorgeous and sexy as hell, kind of like someone else we know, but that’s where the similarity ends.”
“I never allowed another man to treat me like that again.”
“Does Drew make you feel like Jim did? Is that the problem?”
“No! A thousand times no. Drew is nothing like him. He respects me and I feel warm and safe and cherished when I’m with him, but when we’re not together…” She pulled her knees closer to her body, wrapped her arms around them and lowered her head. When she looked up Drew was leaning his shoulder against the bedroom’s doorframe.
“So then the trouble starts when we’re apart,” he said softly.
He was wearing a black t-shirt that hugged his body and faded, well-worn blue jeans. His eyes were bloodshot with dark circles beneath them and the scruff on his face was heavier than usual, but to her he looked magnificent.
“How did you get into my apartment?” Kate directed her narrowed eyes toward Liz who refused to meet her gaze and turned away, then slid off the bed. “Elizabeth Bradford! Did you?”
“Guilty,” Liz said as she slipped past Drew. “Charles is waiting for me downstairs. He picked Drew up at the airport.”
“So your boyfriend is now operating a shuttle service?” Kate teased.
Liz let it go. “I’ll leave you two to…” she looked heavenward and sighed, “whatever.”
Kate heard the door close and, suddenly vulnerable, she tugged the sheet up to her chin. “Go away,” she mumbled.
“No. I’m not leaving you. Get used to it.”
They stared at each other in silence, the pain each felt visible in their eyes. Finally, Drew turned away. Kate started to tell him not to go, but couldn’t form the words. She braced herself to hear the apartment’s door slam, but instead the sounds of pots and pans rattling met her ears. He hadn’t left. The stubborn man was in her kitchen.
Ice cream had been the only food she’d forced down since late yesterday and suddenly she was starving. She wasn’t ready to admit that just seeing Drew had restored her appetite, but his presence had definitely eased the anxious butterflies that had invaded her stomach the moment that publicity bitch showed her that newspaper.
The man had obviously traveled overnight and the least she could do was hear what he had to say. It was time to act like a grown-up instead of the sulking adolescent she’d turned into. She took a quick shower, finger combed her wet hair, and brushed her teeth. She smelled bacon and coffee when she opened the bathroom door dressed in leggings and an oversized, paint-stained sweatshirt.
When Drew spotted her, he grinned and bowed. “Your breakfast, madam,” he said, and swept an arm in the direction of the table. He pulled out a chair and stood behind it, waiting for her to sit, then silently carried two plates of scrambled eggs, bacon and toast to the table and poured coffee into their cups. “May I join you?”
She saw vulnerability in his face. Did he actually believe she’d meant it when she’d told him to go away? “Of course. You look like you could use some sustenance.”
“As do you,” he said, quickly adding, “not that you look bad. You look beautiful, as always, but…”
She rested her hand on his. “Drew. Shut up and eat your breakfast. We’ll talk after.” As she silently made her way through the food, she realized that they’d played out this scene once before, the night he’d explained another photo, the one of him and that Inga ski bunny. Was she going to put both of them through hell every time this happened, since obviously it would? She couldn’t do that to them, but she hadn’t decided if she was secure enough to not be shaken up whenever a picture of him with another woman or speculation about their relationship was shoved in her face. This was her issue, not his. She sighed and pushed back from the table.
“I’m not going to say that this is my problem, although I will admit that to a large extent it is,” she began calmly.
“No, Kate,” he interrupted.
“Let me finish. In fact, can we get out of here? I’ve been inside since yesterday and it’s a beautiful day.”
“Sure, whatever you want.” He was relieved that she hadn’t told him they were through. Yet.
They left her building and strolled west toward the Hudson River. When their hands came together, neither pulled away.
Kate felt the comfort that always came from being with him and wanted to make things right. “I know that you weren’t with the woman in Austria or the one in Galway. I get that you’re incredibly good looking and famous and women are going to try to get your attention. I also understand that after the gorgeous women you’ve been with, people — specifically the gossip rags — wonder what you’re doing with me and expect you to dump me at any moment.”
“What do you mean? You’re beautiful in a way those plastic, skeletal women could never be.”
“Thank you. I don’t worry about any of that stuff when we’re together. I believe that you have feelings for me and I trust you. But when there are pictures of you with other women and people ask me if you’ve moved on, doubt creeps in. It’s not your fault, but I need to figure out if I can deal with it and not have a meltdown every time I read or hear that we’re through.”
Drew was aching to pull her into his arms to reassure her, but he sensed that Kate needed to tell him all of her fears.
They wandered into a park and sat on a bench. When he reached for her hand, she wrapped her fingers around his. “I understand everything you said,” he began. “I get it. If our roles were reversed and I saw pictures of you with other men it would kill me. I have no idea how Charles handles Liz doing love scenes as part of her work. What you and I need to figure out is how we can make this work. I hate to say it, but even after my public life winds down this shit will happen, although less often. It’s unpredictable, so there will be times when I can’t warn you that someone took what could look like a compromising picture.” He turned his body toward her and sighed. “All I can promise is that I would never ever cheat on you. I hope you can believe that, because if you can’t, we have a problem with no solution.” He stroked her cheek and looked directly into her big dark eyes. “Katie. I don’t want to lose you. Tell me what you need me to do.”
“I wish I knew,” she whispered.
“Can you tell me what’s going on in that beautiful head of yours?”
“You’ve done nothing to make me not trust you and I believe you when you say you’d never cheat on me,” she began. She tightened her grip on his fingers and lowered her gaze to their entwined hands. They belonged together and she was not going to allow her past to screw this up. She took a deep breath and hoped that what she was about to say would help him to understand her behavior.
“I was in love once. Madly, desperately, crazy in love. I was a sophomore in college, nineteen years old. Anyway, he said he loved me and I naively assumed that meant he’d never want anyone but me. I was wrong. When I found out he was sleeping with other women, he claimed that they meant nothing, that it was just sex, but it meant something to me. And it wasn’t just that, although that was enough. He was extremely domineering and my friends, especially Liz, hated how he treated me, but I made excuses for him because he was gorgeous and sexy and I loved him. Like an idiot, I went along with whatever he wanted until one night I saw him wrapped around one of my so-called friends outside a bar. Actually seeing that made something snap inside me and I ended it. That was the night I promised myself that I’d rather be alone than be with a man who’d treat me like shit.”
“I’m sorry you had to go through that,” Drew said, drawing Kate close. “Everyone messes up along the way to adulthood. I have, big time.” This was the perfect opening to tell her about Erin, but Kate needed him to understand her story, n
ot listen to his, not now. He’d put it off for too long already, so a few more days or weeks shouldn’t matter. This wasn’t the time to share something that would add to her doubts.
“I was afraid that you’d be like him,” she whispered.
“What? Why?”
She shrugged and looked embarrassed. “Well, this guy — his name was Jim — rode a motorcycle and wore black leather. The day we bumped into each other at St. Patrick’s, you were wearing a black leather jacket and when I saw you get on a Harley, well…it scared me. I was attracted to you and thought here we go again, so when you rode away I was relieved that we didn’t know each other’s names so I would never be tempted to see you again.”
“And do I still remind you of him?” He searched her eyes for an answer, one that could make or break them.
“God, no, Drew! No! You’re everything he wasn’t — except for the motorcycle and the black leather,” she added with a quick grin.
The half smile he flashed back at her quickly left his face, replaced by an expression that was dead serious. “I’m glad you said that because...” he hesitated and pulled her into his arms as if needing the physical contact before continuing, “…because I’m falling in love with you.”
Her eyes filled as she studied his face and saw strong emotion and maybe a little bit of fear in his deep blue eyes. It might be too soon, it might not be smart, but she had no doubt about what she felt. How could she not love him? “I feel the same about you,” she finally whispered. “And right now I want nothing more than to show you how much, but first I need to promise you something.”
He held her hand, ran his thumb over her knuckles and waited.
“If I see or hear something that upsets me, I’ll talk to you instead of jumping to conclusions and going off the deep end. It’s juvenile and makes both of us crazy.”
He held her face in his large, warm hands and leaned his forehead against hers. “Thank you.” He gave her a quick kiss on the lips, then his mood shifted as what she’d said sunk in. She loved him and she trusted him. With a broad smile, he stood and tugged her hand. “Let’s go home.”
Falling Into Drew Page 14