I was alone. Bella was, I trusted, safe inside her home; for a moment I was fiercely glad that Charlie Swan--head of the local law enforcement, trained and armed-- was her father. That ought to mean something, provide some shelter for her.
She was safe. It would not take me so very long to avenge the insult...
No. She deserved better. I could not allow her to care for a murderer.
But...what about the others?
Bella was safe, yes. Angela and Jessica were also, surely, safe in their beds.
Yet a monster was loose in the streets of Port Angeles. A human monster--did that make him the humans' problem? To commit the murder I ached to commit was wrong. I knew that. But leaving him free to attack again could not be the right thing either.
The blond hostess from the restaurant. The waitress I'd never really looked at. Both had irritated me in a trivial way, but that did not mean they deserved to be in danger.
Either one of them might be somebody's Bella.
That realization decided me.
I turned the car north, accelerating now that I had a purpose. Whenever I had a problem that was beyond me--something tangible like this--I knew where I could go for help.
Alice was sitting on the porch, waiting for me. I pulled to a stop in front of the house rather than going around to the garage.
"Carlisle's in his study," Alice told me before I could ask.
"Thank you," I said, tousling her hair as I passed.
Thank you for returning my call, she thought sarcastically.
"Oh." I paused by the door, pulling out my phone and flipping it open. "Sorry. I didn't even check to see who it was. I was...busy."
"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, too. By the time I saw what was going to happen, you were on your way."
"It was close," I murmured.
Sorry, she repeated, ashamed of herself.
It was easy to be generous, knowing that Bella was fine. "Don't be. I know you can't catch everything. No one expects you to be omniscient, Alice."
"Thanks."
"I almost asked you out to dinner tonight--did you catch that before I changed my mind?"
She grinned. "No, I missed that one, too. Wish I'd known. I would have come."
"What were you concentrating on, that you missed so much?"
Jasper's thinking about our anniversary. She laughed. He's trying not to make a decision on my gift, but I think I have a pretty good idea...
"You're shameless."
"Yep."
She pursed her lips, and stared up at me, a hint of accusation in her expression. I paid better attention later. Are you going to tell them that she knows?
I sighed. "Yes. Later."
I won't say anything. Do me a favor and tell Rosalie when I'm not around, okay?
I flinched. "Sure."
Bella took it pretty well.
"Too well."
Alice grinned at me. Don't underestimate Bella.
I tried to block the image I didn't want to see--Bella and Alice, best of friends.
Impatient now, I sighed heavily. I wanted to be through with the next part of the evening; I wanted it over with. But I was a little worried to leave Forks...
"Alice..." I began. She saw what I was planning to ask.
She'll be fine tonight. I'm keeping a better watch now. She sort of needs twenty-four hour supervision, doesn't she?
"At least."
"Anyway, you'll be with her soon enough."
I took a deep breath. The words were beautiful to me.
"Go on--get this done so you can be where you want to be," she told me.
I nodded, and hurried up to Carlisle's room.
He was waiting for me, his eyes on the door rather than the thick book on his desk.
"I heard Alice tell you where to find me," he said, and smiled.
It was a relief to be with him, to see the empathy and deep intelligence in his eyes. Carlisle would know what to do.
"I need help."
"Anything, Edward," he promised.
"Did Alice tell you what happened to Bella tonight?"
Almost happened, he amended.
"Yes, almost. I've got a dilemma, Carlisle. You see, I want...very much...to kill him." The words started to flow fast and passionate. "So much. But I know that would be wrong, because it would be vengeance, not justice. All anger, no impartiality. Still, it can't be right to leave a serial rapist and killer wandering Port Angeles! I don't know the humans there, but I can't let someone else take Bella's place as his victim. Those other women--someone might feel about them the way I feel about Bella. Might suffer what I would have suffered if she'd been harmed. It's not right--"
His wide, unexpected smile stopped the rush of my words cold.
She's very good for you, isn't she? So much compassion, so much control. I'm impressed.
"I'm not looking for compliments, Carlisle."
"Of course not. But I can't help my thoughts, can I?" He smiled again. "I'll take care of it. You can rest easy. No one else will be harmed in Bella's place."
I saw the plan in his head. It wasn't exactly what I wanted, it did not satisfy my craving for brutality, but I could see that it was the right thing.
"I'll show you where to find him," I said.
"Let's go."
He grabbed his black bag on the way. I would have preferred a more aggressive form of sedation--like a cracked skull--but I would let Carlisle do this his way.
We took my car. Alice was still on the steps. She grinned and waved as we drove away. I saw that she had looked ahead for me; we would have no difficulties.
The trip was very short on the dark, empty road. I left off my headlights to keep from attracting attention. It made me smile to think how Bella would have reacted to this pace. I'd already been driving slower than usual--to prolong my time with her--when she'd objected.
Carlisle was thinking of Bella, too.
I didn't foresee that she would be so good for him. That's unexpected. Perhaps this was somehow meant to be. Perhaps it serves a higher purpose. Only...
He pictured Bella with snow cold skin and blood red eyes, and then flinched away from the image.
Yes. Only. Indeed. Because how could there be any good in destroying something so pure and lovely?
I glowered into the night, all the joy of the evening destroyed by his thoughts.
Edward deserves happiness. He's owed it. The fierceness of Carlisle's thoughts surprised me. There must be a way.
I wished I could believe that--either one. But there was no higher purpose to what was happening to Bella. Just a vicious harpy, an ugly, bitter fate who could not bear for Bella to have the life she deserved.
I did not linger in Port Angeles. I took Carlisle to the dive where the creature named Lonnie was drowning his disappointment with his friends--two of whom had already passed out. Carlisle could see how hard it was for me to be so close--for me to hear the monster's thoughts and see his memories, memories of Bella mixed in with less fortunate girls who no one could save now.
My breathing sped. I clenched the steering wheel.
Go, Edward, he told me gently. I'll make the rest of them safe. You go back to Bella.
It was exactly the right thing to say. Her name was the only distraction that could mean anything to me now.
I left him in the car, and ran back to Forks in a straight line through the sleeping forest. It took less time than the first journey in the speeding car. It was just minutes later that I scaled the side of her house and slid her window out of my way.
I sighed silently with relief. Everything was just as it should be. Bella was safe in her bed, dreaming, her wet hair tangled like seaweed across the pillow.
But, unlike most nights, she was curled into a small ball with the covers stretched taut around her shoulders. Cold, I guessed. Before I could settle into my usual seat, she shivered in her sleep, and her lips trembled.
I thought for a brief moment, and then I eased out into the hallway, exploring another part of her
house for the first time.
Charlie's snores were loud and even. I could almost catch the edge of his dream. Something with the rush of water and patient expectation...fishing, maybe?
There, at the top of the stairs, was a promising looking cupboard. I opened it hopefully, and found what I was looking for. I selected the thickest blanket from the tiny linen closet, and took it back into her room. I would return it before she woke, and no one would be the wiser.
Holding my breath, I cautiously spread the blanket over her; she didn't react to the added weight. I returned to the rocking chair.
While I waited anxiously for her to warm up, I thought of Carlisle, wondering where he was now. I knew his plan would go smoothly--Alice had seen that.
Thinking of my father made me sigh--Carlisle gave me too much credit. I wished I was the person he thought me to be. That person, the one who deserved happiness, might hope to be worthy of this sleeping girl. How different things would be if I could be that Edward.
As I pondered this, a strange, uncalled image filled my head.
For one moment, the hag-faced fate I'd imagined, the one who sought Bella's destruction, was replaced by the most foolish and reckless of angels. A guardian angel-- something Carlisle's version of me might have had. With a heedless smile on her lips, her sky-colored eyes full of mischief, the angel formed Bella in such a fashion that there was no way that I could possibly overlook her. A ridiculously potent scent to demand my attention, a silent mind to enflame my curiosity, a quiet beauty to hold my eyes, a selfless soul to earn my awe. Leave out the natural sense of self-preservation--so that Bella could bear to be near me--and, finally, add a wide streak of appallingly bad luck.
With a careless laugh, the irresponsible angel propelled her fragile creation directly into my path, trusting blithely in my flawed morality to keep Bella alive.
In this vision, I was not Bella's sentence; she was my reward.
I shook my head at the fantasy of the unthinking angel. She was not much better than the harpy. I could not think well of a higher power that would behave in such a dangerous and stupid manner. At least the ugly fate I could fight against.
And I had no angel. They were reserved for the good--for people like Bella. So where was her angel through all this? Who was watching over her?
I laughed silently, startled, as I realized that, just now, I was filling that role.
A vampire angel--there was a stretch.
After about a half hour, Bella relaxed out of the tight ball. Her breathing got deeper and she started to murmur. I smiled, satisfied. It was a small thing, but at least she was sleeping more comfortably tonight because I was here.
"Edward," she sighed, and she smiled, too.
I shoved tragedy aside for the moment, and let myself be happy again.
* * *
Chapter Eleven
Interrogations
CNN broke the story first.
I was glad it hit the news before I had to leave for school, anxious to hear how the humans would phrase the account, and what amount of attention it would garner. Luckily, it was a heavy news day. There was an earthquake in South America and a political kidnapping in the Middle East. So it ended up only earning a few seconds, a few sentences, and one grainy picture.
"Alonzo Calderas Wallace, suspected serial rapist and murderer wanted in the states of Texas and Oklahoma, was apprehended last night in Portland, Oregon thanks to an anonymous tip. Wallace was found unconscious in an alley early this morning, just a few yards from a police station. Officials are unable to tell us at this time whether he will be extradited to Houston or Oklahoma City to stand trial."
The picture was unclear, a mug shot, and he'd had a thick beard at the time of the photograph. Even if Bella saw it, she would probably not recognize him. I hoped she wouldn't; it would make her afraid needlessly.
"The coverage here in town will be light. It's too far away to be considered of local interest," Alice told me. "It was a good call to have Carlisle take him out of state."
I nodded. Bella didn't watch much TV regardless, and I'd never seen her father watching anything besides sports channels.
I'd done what I could. This monster no longer hunted, and I was not a murderer. Not recently, anyway. I'd been right to trust Carlisle, as much as I still wished the monster had not gotten off quite so easily. I caught myself hoping he would be extradited to Texas, where the death penalty was so popular...
No. That didn't matter. I would put this behind me, and concentrate on what was most important.
I'd left Bella's room less than an hour ago. I was already aching to see her again.
"Alice, do you mind--"
She cut me off. "Rosalie will drive. She'll act pissed, but you know she'll enjoy the excuse to show off her car." Alice trilled a laugh.
I grinned at her. "See you at school."
Alice sighed, and my grin became a grimace.
I know, I know, she thought. Not yet. I'll wait until you're ready for Bella to know me. You should know, though, this isn't just me being selfish. Bella's going to like me, too.
I didn't answer her as I hurried out the door. That was a different way of viewing the situation. Would Bella want to know Alice? To have a vampire for a girlfriend?
Knowing Bella...that idea probably wouldn't bother her in the slightest.
I frowned to myself. What Bella wanted and what was best for Bella were two very separate things.
I started to feel uneasy as I parked my car in Bella's driveway. The human adage said that things looked different in the morning--that things changed when you slept on them. Would I look different to Bella in the weak light of a foggy day? More sinister or less sinister than I had in the blackness of night? Had the truth sunk in while she slept? Would she finally be afraid?
Her dreams had been peaceful, though, last night. When she'd spoken my name, time and time again, she'd smiled. More than once she'd murmured a plea for me to stay. Would that mean nothing today?
I waited nervously, listening to the sounds of her inside the house--the fast, stumbling footsteps on the stairs, the sharp rip of a foil wrapper, the contents of the refrigerator crashing against each other when the door slammed. It sounded like she was in a hurry. Anxious to get to school? The thought made me smile, hopeful again.
I looked at the clock. I supposed that--taking in account the velocity her decrepit truck must limit her to--she was running a little late.
Bella rushed out of the house, her book bag sliding off her shoulder, her hair coiled into a messy twist that was already coming apart on the nape of her neck. The thick green sweater she wore was not enough to keep her thin shoulders from hunching against the cold fog.
The long sweater was too big for her, unflattering. It masked her slender figure, turning all her delicate curves and soft lines into a shapeless jumble. I appreciated this almost as much as I wished that she had worn something more like the soft blue blouse she'd worn last night...the fabric had clung to her skin in such an appealing way, cut low enough to reveal the mesmerizing way her collar bones curled away from the hollow beneath her throat. The blue had flowed like water along the subtle shape of her body...
It was better--essential--that I kept my thoughts far, far away from that shape, so I was grateful to the unbecoming sweater she wore. I couldn't afford to make mistakes, and it would be a monumental mistake to dwell on the strange hungers that thoughts of her lips...her skin...her body...were shaking loose inside of me. Hungers that had evaded me for a hundred years. But I could not allow myself to think of touching her, because that was impossible.
I would break her.
Bella turned away from the door, in such a hurry that she nearly ran right by my car without noticing it.
Then she skidded to a stop, her knees locking like a startled colt's. Her bag slid further down her arm, and her eyes flew wide as they focused on the car.
I got out, taking no care to move at human speed, and opened the passenger door for her. I
would not try to deceive her anymore--when we were alone, at least, I would be myself.
She looked up at me, startled again as I seemingly materialized out of the fog. And then the surprise in her eyes changed to something else, and I was no longer afraid-- or hopeful--that her feelings for me had changed in the course of the night. Warmth, wonder, fascination, all swimming in the melted chocolate of her eyes.
"Do you want to ride with me today?" I asked. Unlike dinner last night, I would let her choose. From now on, it must always be her choice.
"Yes, thank you," she murmured, climbing into my car without hesitation.
Would it ever cease to thrill me, that I was the one she was saying yes to? I doubted it.
I flashed around the car, eager to join her. She showed no sign of being shocked by my sudden reappearance.
The happiness I felt when she sat beside me this way had no precedent. As much as I enjoyed the love and companionship of my family, despite the various entertainments and distractions the world had to offer, I had never been happy like this. Even knowing that it was wrong, that this couldn't possibly end well, could not keep the smile from my face for long.
My jacket was folded over the headrest of her seat. I saw her eyeing it.
"I brought the jacket for you," I told her. This was my excuse, had I needed to provide one, for showing up uninvited this morning. It was cold. She had no jacket. Surely this was an acceptable form of chivalry. "I didn't want you to get sick or something."
"I'm not quite that delicate," she said, staring at my chest rather than my face, as if she were hesitant to meet my eyes. But she put the coat on before I had to resort to commanding or coaxing.
"Aren't you?" I muttered to myself.
She stared out at the road as I accelerated toward the school. I could only stand the silence for a few seconds. I had to know what her thoughts were this morning. So much had changed between us since the last time the sun was up.
"What, no twenty questions today?" I asked, keeping it light again.
She smiled, seeming glad that I'd broached the subject. "Do my questions bother you?"
"Not as much as your reactions do," I told her honestly, smiling in response to her smile.
Her mouth turned down. "Do I react badly?"
"No, that's the problem. You take everything so coolly--it's unnatural." Not one scream so far. How could that be? "It makes me wonder what you're really thinking." Of course, everything she did or didn't do made me wonder that.
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