“Mother, have you been feeling unwell? You have lost some weight since I saw you last.”
Matilde waived her hand impatiently as if dismissing her concern, “Hush child, I’m thinking.” It was obvious to Hope that she didn’t want to talk about her own apparent declining health so she just sat there in silence as her mother continued to think.
It felt like hours before Matilde finally spoke by way of command, “You will do as your mistress wishes.”
Hope felt like she had had a bucket of cold water thrown upon her, so startled she was by her mother’s decision. “What? But I’m no lady and if the earl were to find out of my deception he’d have me thrown into Newgate, or worse!”
“Once you are wed you will no longer be the earl’s concern so you will just have to ensure that the duke never finds out of your deceit.”
“But I cannot possibly marry a duke mama, he would never believe me to be a real Lady, I am but a mere servant. And if I became Lady Noelle I would no longer be able to see you, have you thought of that?”
Matilde’s expression looked pained as she reached one wrinkled hand across the table to cover Hope’s, the skin covering her bones was paper thin. “That would be the greatest hardship of all, for I love you dearly my daughter, but think of the life you would live. You’d be able to enjoy so many things that I have never been able to give you, things that you deserve, and you’d never have to work or worry about how you were going to provide for yourself for the rest of your life. This is a remarkable opportunity and you’d be a fool not to take it.”
Hope just sat, staring slack jawed at her mother not sure what to say. She hadn’t known what she’d expected her mother to do or say when she had decided to come see her but she certainly had not expected her to side with Lady Noelle.
When she finally spoke, her voice was barely above a whisper, “Do you really think I should go through with this?”
Matilde spoke boldly, “I don’t simply think you should do this, I know you must. It’s the only way. If you refuse than you will be left without a position and the chances of you finding another will be slim.” Hope nodded her head solemnly, she had already come to that conclusion on her own.
She decided to try out one last idea on her mother before accepting defeat, “I could always come home to live with you and find work here—if nothing else I can always take in laundry and mending to make a few extra shillings. The money I have saved up would last us for a good time to come.”
“Absolutely not, that isn’t any kind of life for you. You were born for something better and now is the time for you to accept that.”
“Oh mama, I’m so frightened.” Hope confessed.
“It’ll all be well, you’ll see.”
Matilde managed to maneuver her frail body out of the chair and hobble over to her bedroom and slip out of sight. Moments later she returned and came to stand behind Hope. Hope felt something cool touch her neck as she looked down to see a ruby pendant slide between her breasts. She reached down and captured the charm, lifting it for inspection. It was a fairly large round ruby surrounded by sparkling little diamonds. The flickering of the candles illuminated off the jewels many facets giving it a glittering appearance.
“What is this?”
“It is something I have been meaning to give you for some time now—something for you to have of your mother’s.”
When the necklace was clasped into place, Matilde shuffled once more to her bedroom, this time returning with a folded piece of parchment aged and worn with the passage of time and sealed with a drop of red wax. She handed it to Hope but before taking her hand from it she said, “You must give me your word that you will not open this letter until the time is right for you to do so.”
She nodded, “But how will I know when the time is right?”
“You will know my child, now promise me or I will not give it to you.” Though she was puzzled by the oddity she agreed and not until then did Matilde’s hand release the letter into her own.
“Now as much as I hate to see you go, you truly must be on your way.” Matilde pulled her daughter into a fierce embrace, both of them getting choked up knowing it would be the last of its kind that they would ever share. Hope pulled back, tears streaming down her face. She looked into her mother’s face as if she could memorize every last detail and commit it all to memory. Her heart was breaking at the thought of leaving her mother forever to embrace an uncertain and fearful future.
Matilde placed a soft hand on Hope’s cheek, “Godspeed child. I have loved you with all of my heart and will do so until my dying breath.”
“I love you too, mama.” And with that Hope turned and reluctantly left the small cottage and the only family she had ever known.
Matilde watched in agony as her only daughter mounted her horse and galloped off into the night, waiting until she was no longer in view before whispering, “God be with you Lady Hope.”
Chapter 8
The ride back to Mayfair was a complete blur to Hope. She barely remembered talking to Geoffrey as she returned Tabitha to the mews before sneaking silently back into the house and to her room. Her body and mind were exhausted and as she slid into bed the last thing she remembered thinking about before falling into a fitful slumber was how curious it had been that her mother had never questioned her about how much she truly resembled Lady Noelle. Matilde had just accepted that the plan would work, having never laid eyes on Lady Noelle for herself—odd.
When Hope finally awoke she felt as if she had never gone to bed at all. She had tossed and turned and fretted the whole night, never allowing her mind to shut down fully to allow her body peaceful sleep. She got ready for the day unhurriedly, dreading the moment she would see Lady Noelle and tell her that she had agreed to go along with her plan. She knew that Noelle would be ecstatic but she herself could only feel apprehension and dread.
When she heard the tinkling of the brass bell, it was with great trepidation that she entered Noelle’s bedchamber. Noelle was sitting propped up in her bed, looking as if she had just awoken refreshed from a long nights slumber. Hope was irritated that she could sleep at such a time as this and did nothing to mask that irritation.
“Good morning milady, what can I do for you?” she spoke through ground teeth.
Noelle yawned and stretched, her dainty hands reaching high above her head, “Oh don’t be silly Hope, you know exactly what you can do for me. Have you finally come to your senses and decided to do as I proposed?”
Though she knew that it was highly unlikely that Noelle would change her mind, her heart still plummeted in her chest at the affirmation. She clenched her jaw tightly for a few long seconds before finally answering, “Yes, milady.”
Noelle sprung from her bed, “Really? Look at me Hope,” she grabbed Hope’s shoulders and shook her. “You are going to be so happy, we both are.” Hope highly doubted she would but she wasn’t about to argue with her mistress, it was futile.
“Oh, we have so much to do before I leave and not nearly enough time to do it all in. I have to teach you all there is to know about being a lady so that you can assume your new role gracefully.”
Hope wasn’t optimistic about anything going gracefully but she didn’t say so. She felt unusually grumpy and knew that the lack of sleep contributed greatly to her mood, for she was rarely ever out of sorts.
“Let’s start by getting you all dressed up as if you were attending a ball so I can see how you look as me once more.” She moved to her closet and began shuffling through the surfeit of ball gowns. It was odd for Hope to see her doing something that she usually did for her, and as she moved to assist her she stopped herself, figuring she better get used to it if she were going to assume her role permanently.
Noelle strode back to where Hope was standing holding a bronze gown in her arms, “Hurry and strip down so we can get you dressed. Isn’t this fun?” Hope ignored her and began undressing. Moments later she was ensconced once more into the rigid corset and Noelle
was soon slipping the gown over her head. The bronze color of the dress served to draw even more attention to the unusual amber shade of her eyes and was much finer than the day dress she had worn last time she had posed as Noelle. Next Noelle instructed her to pin her hair up elaborately while she herself insisted on dressing once more in Hope’s garb.
“Though I plan on staying in the privacy of these chambers all day while I train you to become a lady, I’d rather be safe in case somebody decides to come looking for either one of us.” It made sense so Hope didn’t argue.
Once Hope had her hair dressed, Noelle came over to sit at the vanity to help apply the rouge and lip salve and to darken her lashes for her. When the primping was complete Noelle hummed in appreciation, “It’s peculiar how much you resemble myself, don’t you find it a little unnerving?”
“I find it more than a little unnerving and more than a little inconvenient.” Hope muttered, wondering how much Noelle really cared about her opinion.
“Well stranger things have happened I suppose.” Then pushing her musings aside she continued, “Now, where shall we begin?” She tapped one finger thoughtfully against her cheek.
“I suppose we should start with dancing, for I know not a single thing about it. I feel much more confident in the other areas, having been your lady’s maid long enough to have a fairly good understanding of the other components of being a lady. I’m almost positive I could work my way through a multi-course meal and I am as versed in the social proprieties as you are, but I have never had the occasion to learn to dance, never needed to know how.”
“Perfect, let’s begin there. I suppose I’ll have to act as the gentleman and the orchestra seeing as how we have no music.” She thought for a minute, “I guess I’ll just have to hum a tune and hope you can pick up on the rhythm of the dance.”
Oh dear, she hoped this would work, for dancing was an integral part of being a Lady. She knew that masquerading as Lady Noelle would require her to attend multiple balls a week and that there was no way she could get away with not dancing at every single one of those balls. Both girls worked to move a few stray pieces of furniture out of the way, clearing a space for the lessons.
“The first dance we will start with is a country dance. You’ll just have to imagine there are more couples dancing along with us.”
Noelle began humming a lively tune as she led Hope in the steps of the dance. There was much fumbling and stepping on toes but Noelle was persistent and insisted that they try again and again. Eventually that persistence paid off and Hope felt as if she could satisfactorily dance a country dance. She was glad that she was a quick learner and fairly agile.
After taking a break to rest their feet Noelle stood once more and gestured for Hope to do the same, “Next we will work on waltzing.” Noelle stood directly in front of Hope and placed one hand on her back before taking her other hand in her own, “Now I’ve noticed you’re rather good at following my lead so if you can continue to do that, this should come quite easily for you. First, step back with your right foot.”
Hope kept her gaze down as she struggled to watch their feet amidst the billowing skirt of her gown, trying to get in rhythm. She stumbled on Noelle’s toes frequently and finally she figured Noelle had had enough of it when she decided once more that it was time to rest.
“I’m not sure I can learn to waltz, is there any chance that I can avoid this particular dance?” she asked hopefully.
“Hardly, it’s all the rage and I’m sure the duke will insist upon waltzing with you.” The thought of being in a man’s arms stumbling around a ballroom unnerved her. She knew if she were ever going to pull off this charade she would need to master the waltz and so after a few minutes of rest they were practicing once more. And so the remainder of the day went, practicing one dance after another until Hope’s feet ached from wearing the unfamiliar ball slippers.
Finally Noelle called it a day, much to Hope’s relief, and sat down with a huff, “I must confess, dancing with you is more tiresome than dancing with half the ton, and not nearly as pleasant.” She reached down and pulled off one slipper and began rubbing her toes, “and much more painful.” Hope grimaced, her confidence not at all bolstered by the comments.
“Let’s hope we can improve your dancing abilities drastically in the next few days or we could be in trouble. Now, we have to discuss how this will all work out. I hate to have to tarnish your name but we have to come up with a credible story for your sudden and impromptu departure and it won’t reflect well on you I am certain.”
Hope already knew that and offered a suggestion, “Why don’t we stick as close to the truth as possible. Let’s just tell your father that I left a note behind saying that I have run away with a gentleman I have fallen in love with and plan to flee the country. Please, no more lies if we can help it.”
“Perfect. He’ll be perturbed and insist on getting you a new lady’s maid post haste, but there should be no further ramifications and this way Hope Hillburn can just disappear into the unknown indefinitely.”
Hope flinched at the casual way Noelle talked of her demise as if it would have no effect on her life whatsoever. Maybe it wouldn’t but it was certainly affecting Hope’s own life to vast extremes. The thought of putting her identity completely in the past made her feel sick to her stomach. She just hoped that she could retain a part of who she was and not lose herself completely in this new life she was embarking on.
Suddenly it all weighed her down and felt like more than she could bear: saying her final goodbyes to her mother, having to dress in fancy clothes, having to learn to dance, and worst of all, having to eventually become a duchess.
She rose quickly, “Please unhook my dress, I suddenly feel fatigued and need to lie down for a bit…it was a long night.” An understatement if there ever was one. All she knew was that she wanted to get back into her own familiar clothes and away from Noelle where she could enjoy whatever she could of her final days as plain old Hope Hillburn from Shepard’s Bush.
The minute the bronze satin gown fell to the floor and her corset was unlaced, she insisted that Noelle remove her gown so she could redress before stealing away to her own quarters to be alone where she could write and transport herself away into another world. A world that would always be there for her, a world where she could imagine anything she pleased, be anything she chose.
Chapter 9
“Whoa, Tristan,” Pierce called as he pulled back on the reins of his beloved black stallion, bringing them to a halt. Elliot galloped up behind them, slowing his own mare as well. They sat atop their horses in silence as they looked out over the vast lands beyond Ridgecrest Manor. Rolling green hills stretched for miles, a slight breeze wafted the scent of fresh rain and foliage up to their noses and Pierce inhaled deeply.
“Do you ever regret not doing things you always dreamed of doing?”
“Of course, we all do.” Elliot tried to reassure him, hoping his friend would snap out of the pensive mood he’d been in as of late.
“Right now I’m regretting the fact that I never went to America.” Pierce turned in his saddle to look at his friend, “What say we book passage and leave all of this behind?”
Elliot laughed, “You can’t be serious. Didn’t all your travels throughout Europe sate your appetite for such an adventure?”
Pierce shrugged, “I thought so…until recent developments.”
“I know that being leg shackled has gotten you feeling caged but running away will not solve anything. What would you do once you were in America and had to forge a living for yourself? And what would become of your mother and the Kerrington estates and wealth? Oh that’s right, your weasel of a cousin Bartholomew would inherit. That would surely please your tenants, not to mention the duchess.”
“You’re right of course, I guess I’m just mourning the loss of love never known.”
Elliot snorted in disgust, “Don’t speak of love. Few there be that find it and the rest of mankind who so foolishly
search for something so rare and near impossible to find will only end up miserable when they don’t find the elusive prize. You’re making the right choice man, marry for convenience and to produce an heir, nothing more. If your expectations are low you can’t possibly be disappointed.”
Pierce knew Elliot was speaking from experience and his own bitterness but he couldn’t resist asking, “Then why haven’t you conveniently found yourself a wife? I presume you need an heir as much as I do.”
“Eventually I suppose I’ll have to. Lucky for me I don’t have any parents breathing down my back about the matter, thank heavens.” Pierce felt a pang of sadness in his breast at the thought of his dear friend being an orphan. At least his parents hadn’t both died at the same time like Elliot’s had so he was still left with a mother to tie him to someone. And though he knew Elliot had tried to sound indifferent about it all, he couldn’t help but feel that part of his detached air had something to do with his parent’s loss.
They sat in silence for some time, enjoying the view mother nature had created for them before Pierce said, “Tell me what you remember about this Lady Noelle.” Though he’d asked before, he kept hoping that Elliot would somehow be able to remember something that would reassure him that he wasn’t marrying a complete ogre.
“Like I told you before, I don’t know her well and I don’t remember ever being privy to any juicy gossip about the girl so that’s good, though I suppose that depends on how you look at it.”
“What does she look like?”
“Oh, you mean is she ugly?”
Pierce hadn’t wanted to sound shallow, but he couldn’t help admitting to his own curiosity on the subject. “Well I suppose it would be too much to expect her to be beautiful, but is she even remotely handsome?”
Deceiving the Duke of Kerrington (Ladies of Deception) Page 6