“Ah... and the hypnosis? That's like Nerdifier's drug darts?”
“That's right.”
“And Omni-whatsit?”
“Omnilingualism. The ability to understand any language. Two way radio and a supercomputer. You probably already have an app for it on your G-phone that does something similar.”
“Have you got something to translate American English to British English?”
“Cute,” said Conrad. “The proposed name we have for you....”
“Yes?”
“...is...”
“Yes?”
“Psychic Kid!”
“Yeah, wow. I like it. How about Captain Psychic?”
“We already have a Captain?”
“Ok. Yeah. Is that what the PK stands for?”
“That's right. So do you like it? Do you want it? Do you want to be Psychic Kid?”
“This is so awesome. This is like... like... my origin story,” I enthused like a teenager. I suddenly realised that this was my calling. That feeling of isolation, of being outside society but really wanting to be part of it, fulfilling chivalrous duty for a noble cause. “I always wanted super powers but up till now they only consisted of holding my breathe for ten minutes and the ability to repel women…”
Conrad rolled his eyes, “There’s more to consider than simply getting a neat suit and special abilities. Think about it. It's a big decision.”
“How long have I got? I’m sure this is something I can decide quickly,” I smirked.
He moved to the back of the room and adjusted the lighting; out of the dark appeared seats and control panels. Conrad selected a panel and displayed the news headlines on a holoscreen.
“I don't want to pressure you but there are some compelling reasons for you to join us sooner rather than later,” he said ominously.
“There are?” I said, startled.
“I did some research last night and found that there have been fridge stories appearing in the news recently.”
“There are?”
“There are numerous examples of fridges disconnecting from the network recently. Apparently, many old style robots cannot cope with food safety management unless the fridge is net-connected.”
“Generally I'm not worried about rich people and their home help, but I guess it affects old people and invalids, right?” I mused, feeling confident I hit the right note with my super-do-gooder partner.
Conrad nodded and moved on. “A month ago, the New York Enquirer ran a story of a house robbery where the only thing stolen was a fridge. Was it a robbery or another fridge escape? Then two weeks ago there was another report in the National Blogger of a woman being sectioned to a mental health facility after claiming aliens, supposedly, had taken over her fridge. So your fridge went AWOL a week ago. That was unreported and presumably there may be many other such events unreported. Then yesterday, I saw on broadcast news, what appeared to be three larger than man-size robots breaking into a delicatessen.”
“And they stole their fridge?” I suggested.
“No, they stole the cheese!”
“So is this a Fridge-mageddon or a Cheese-Apocalypse?”
“It's both.”
“A Cheesey-Fridge-Mageddo-pocalypse! That's big!”
“We’re not there yet. There could be other explanations. But Non-Coincidence Theory states that this fridge uprising isn't a coincidence.”
“But who is going to take this seriously? This is worse than any comic-book-style story. It wouldn’t even make Scooby-Doo!”
“I appreciate your concern, Aaron. I was deeply skeptical too when you walked into Mad-Sci-Soc the other day but if history has taught us anything it is to worry about detail, anomalies and the things that just do not stack up. It has taught us to respond to such threats. Just look at humanities past achievements: defeating the evil bankers, the war-mongers and the anti-environmentalists. All because we shared our concerns on social media.”
“Absolutely. Jobsian principles! Yeah, go think different!” I said, repeating the mantra of the faithful. I was not a fully paid up member of the Church of Jobs but I knew their hymns.
“And the problem, that you confronted me with, is just that, an anomaly. Actually the story is bonkers in just about every sense of the word. Revolting fridges? Preposterous!”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “Revolting cheese, that I understand. But revolting fridges? That's just crazy.”
Conrad ignored my interjection. “And yet, we have the facts: the physical evidence, the witness testimony, and other reported cases. This is something that is truly suitable for Mad-Sci-Soc. More specifically for our Super Hero divison of Su-U, SHUMSS.”
“Sums?”
“It stands for Super Hero Union (Mad-Sci-Soc division).”
“Is it a division or a chapter?”
“We plumped for division since it sounded more sciencey,” explained Conrad apologetically.
“So who do we have on the team? Is Captain Kittoffery coming out of retirement? Are we joining forces with Nerdifier, Elect-Toad and Glaredevil and find out what is going on with the fridges and cheese?”
“Well we have to get you licensed, of course... Sign some non-disclosure agreements...” said Conrad prevaricating.
“Yeah, sure. Where do I sign? How many of us are there?”
“Well, this is a secret. A club secret. But it is only fair to tell you.”
“Oh?”
“Max resigned from the SHUMSS last night,” sighed Conrad.
That didn’t answer my question. Why is he talking about Max, my girlfriend's ex? “Oh. Ok, but I never really met him. I only know him by reputation. You know, what Terri has told me about him being evil and such.”
“Hmm,” said Conrad thoughtfully. “We don't know what went on there. It was a long time ago. Max has matured a lot since then, of course. No, the real problem is that Max was the main financier of Mad-Sci-Soc and while the club funding is still good, he will be taking away quite a few of our resources which were always his and merely on loan to the club.”
“Is he rich or something?”
“Embarrassingly so.”
“How so?”
“After winning some money on the lottery, second prize on the national lotto, he invested in a technology company. The company had patents on human-like eyes and skin components for replicants and surrogates. It was doing reasonably well until... well.” Conrad was reluctant to continue.
“Until?”
“It was bought by Ms Bell,” said Conrad with a sigh.
“Oh no.”
“Yep. That was when he became embarrassingly rich and now... he is locked into a three year employment contract with the corporate giant.”
“Can’t he get out?”
“Not without being sued. His finances are tied to the fortunes of Ms Bell.”
“I'm now feeling sorry for him. So am I ever going to meet him?”
“At this rate, no, probably not.”
***
Saturday, October 5, 2117
Years previously, it was Terri being introduced to SHUMSS in the same, darkened room with a fancy outfit spot-lighted in the middle. Her costume was a tight blue and grey one-piece spandex suit with a blue and white multi-layered cape constantly moving as if it was blowing in a gentle wind; the headdress mimicked hair, swirling like a benevolent medusa.
“Is that a hologram?”
“No, it's fabricated. Touch it,” Max sat down by the door and was studying Terri intently.
Terri touched the swirling cape and it slipped through her fingers. It felt like a cross between smoke and silk. “Wow. How does it do that?”
“It's a carbon-16 nano-tube sheeting.”
“And that wind effect on the cape and hair?”
”Little motors,” said Max.
“Little motors?”
“Nano-machines. Thinner than silk thread,” explained Max, light reflecting off his glasses obscuring his eyes.
Terri continued to
play with the cape and hair.
“I very much hope you'll accept our offer to join SHUMSS. It would really mean a lot to me,” said Max stammering a little.
“And wear this?” Terri smirked.
“Yes. Do you like it?”
“Well, its not great for my body type. My legs are ok. I like short skirts, but this top? It's not like I have a perfect body. It may be less flattering on me than you imagine.”
“We can hologram out any imperfections if that's an issue,” Max said.
“I'm supposed to fight bad guys in this? I've no martial arts experience, no stamina, I’m exhausted walking between class.”
“We have a training schedule in mind for you, of course. I'm sure a young woman like yourself can toughen up fast.”
Terri looked skeptical.
“But most importantly we will provide super powers.”
“Super powers? You said they were all technology. Just gimmicks.”
“More than gimmicks,” tutted Max. “Mutotonics is technology that nobody else has. Lost to the collective consciousness but not to the likes of Mad-Sci-Soc. It's as good as super powers. It will appear as magic to the uninitiated.”
“So... which super powers?”
“Besides lightning discharge, the one we are... actually no, it's not we. Let me start again, I can’t let myself get ahead of myself. There’s so much to say. The one I'm most excited about is... apparent... invincibility,” said Max proudly stumbling over the words.
“Oh?” said Terri her eyes lighting up.
“Impervious to bullets or anything falling on you. Untouchable. No-one would be able to lay a finger on you.”
“So this would be provided by technology? By a machine somehow? Giant air-cushions?”
“No,” said Max smugly. “By two great tricks. One is a micro-force field. The same device that provides electrical discharges can be re-purposed to generate a counter-punch to stop bullets. It can even stop a charging elephant...”
Terri nodded sagely.
“And the other,” Max continued. “Is self healing. We are able to rebuild you, as good as new.”
“Nanobots?”
“No, that still takes too long. I'm talking recovery within 30 seconds from any injury.”
“What? That's unreal.”
“In a way it is. An unreal tourniquet!”
“It just stops the blood?”
“No, we rebuild. We rebuild any injured part of you, at a molecular level by matter transfer.”
“Matter transfer? I don't...”
“We have, for some years now, been able to demonstrate transportation of matter from one place to another.”
“We have? No way!” Terri exclaimed.
“Way.”
“How? That's just science fiction.”
“The thing with science fiction is that it is often science fact before the book is published. We've known about this for over a century. It's just been very difficult to scale up from the quantum physics level of electrons and atoms to something human scale.”
“Human scale?”
“Human scale is anything bigger than a thread of a spider web.”
“Or a hair?”
“Or a hair. Yes. Millimetre scale.”
“So how?”
“Because, at Mad-Sci-Soc, we've gone beyond Quantum Level Mechanics. We've gone human scale.”
“Hair sized?”
“I was thinking Max sized!” said Max with a grin.
“You've been through a matter transporter? You can transport humans around like in Star Trek?” said Terri in disbelief.
“I think those ancient classics were the inspiration.” Max then went off on a eulogy. “Just like Icarus, Da Vinci and Disney dreamed of man flying and it became true hundreds of years later. So too did the ancient science fiction of Jules Verne, Asimov and Star Trek inspire later generations. That generation is now. While we're still at the Wilbur Wright level of experimentation we can demonstrate that matter transfer does work.”
“You can transport humans around like in Star Trek?” said Terri for the third time.
“I'm living proof of it,” winked Max.
***
Thursday, January 24, 2123
“So is Max setting up another super hero league?” I asked.
“No, he says he has returned his licence.”
“So how many do we have?”
“Including you?” considered Conrad.
“Yes.”
“Two.”
“So just me and you!”
“That doesn't include me. I’m retired.”
“Not you? So me and one other? Nerdifer?”
“No. Nerdifer and other mainstream heroes have signed up with a different agency. Our other trained and licensed super hero is... Improbileon.” Conrad said with as much grandeur as possible.
I shook my head. “I've never heard of him.”
“Improbileon is a her. She's smart, strong. Has a great er... costume.”
“What has she done?”
“Well, she has been there... ready. Ready, for whatever the world of evil throws at us!”
“There's plenty of evil in the world; Gangsters, Corporations, Estate Agents... so why haven't I heard of her intervening? I see Nerdifier, Spider-Guy and Bat-Buddy on TV. Ok, Bat-Buddy is still recovering from his broken back but...”
“Because they are around, Improbileon has, probably, not been needed,” said Conrad trying to make the word “probably” a kind of a joke.
But I didn't react; not because I did not understand the joke, but because it did not make any sense to me. Why be a superhero and not fight crime? I held my tongue.
***
Chapter Six Entanglement
Saturday, October 5, 2117
Terri was intrigued by the concept of Matter Transportation and asked Max more questions.
“I don't suppose you have heard of the EPR Paradox,” said Max, with a smile.
“That's a reasonable supposition. What does EPR stand for?” said Terri.
“Einstein, Podolsky and Rosen.”
“Hmm. I've heard of Einstein.”
“Podolsky and Rosen are his equally clever but less famous colleagues. In 1935 the three of them described yet another paradox in Quantum Theory arising from the dual nature of electrons and other Quantum objects, being both particles and waves.”
“Yes, I've heard that... something about diffraction gratings and the photoelectric effect? How can matter be both a particle and a wave? I never understood it.”
“It's hard, I know. But the wave-particle theory was sort of explained in 1901. And then 30 years later came the ERP paradox and it focused on the completely counterintuitive properties of Quantum Entanglement. This has never been completely adequately explained. Not even by Einstein. It is completely spooky. And yet we can detect it, verify it and even use it in computing and communications.”
“And what is it? What is entanglement?”
“Indeed. What is entanglement? We can describe the property. It is an exotic effect of Quantum Physics in which two quantum particles are aligned and share the same existence, even when they are moved apart and physically separated. A change in one particle is replicated in the other even if the distances are vast. Conjoined twins no matter what distance is between them. The changes appear to defy limitations caused by the speed of light. And this can provide instantaneous communication across the universe!”
“What? How can that happen?”
“No-one knows. It's a paradox!” Max sat in a chair and continued with the historical background. “But just because we don't know how it works, doesn't stop us from using the effect. It was first used for secure, instantaneous communications. Such transmissions can't be hacked and it is faster than light. This led to some strange effects in the transition from traditional communications; the sporting scams in 2030 left quite a sting. And since the calculation of the value of stocks and shares is no better than gambling, it was also in
for a shock. The banking collapse of 2050... that was due to brokers using instantaneous computers outselling old style processing methods. Then everyone started panic-selling stocks, shares, gold and property at the same time and everything in the old Rockfellian economy became worthless. True Value became the norm after that or rather, after the Robot Wars. Then came the super computers, like the one we have here at the University. Computing at instantaneous speeds... fantastic! We've had the University Computer for 20 years. But they are difficult to build, and so it remains one of the most powerful machines of its type.”
“Computers and matter transfer, they don’t seem related.”
“They use the same principles: Quantum entanglement. It’s embedded within Quantum computing but everyone has forgotten the effect demonstrated a hundred years ago, to replicate matter from one location to another. This is where Mad-Sci-Soc has gone that one stage further.”
“One stage?”
“Well, several stages. First you need a scanning device. A scanning device that can analyse every atom in the originating object.” Max waved at his holoscreen and a transparent 3D image of the device appeared. It looked like a man-sized Death Star.
“You have one of those?”
“This is built by my company, Quantact,” said Max glowing with pride.
“You have your own company?”
“Just a small one.”
“So you're rich?”
“I won some money in the lottery and invested wisely. Of course, my money is all tied up in research and development. Research is my thing. I live the life of a hermit, really.”
“You do?”
“I want to build something big... long-lasting. It is the Jobsian ideal after all.”
“Like this Star Trek transporter?”
“It seemed like a good idea at the time.”
“This will make you a trillionaire.”
“I doubt it. Not this version, at least. It has a few flaws.”
“Flaws?”
“Well take a look. This is one half of it... the scanner. Or as I call it, the Entangle-Scanner. Think of it as powerful electron microscope and a mass spectrometer combined. It looks at every atom. But only organic matter, it is difficult to scan the atomic matrix of metal objects, so it only works with organics.”
“It analyses every atom?”
“Every atom.”
“Just how many billions of atoms are there in a human body?”
“There are approximately 10 to the power of 28 atoms in the human body. But since 77% of the atoms in the body are hydrogen or oxygen, that is, water, these atoms don't have to be entangled, just located. Compounds composed of carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, and oxygen together account for another 22%. For that remaining 1%, there are only 41 chemical elements to be considered. Unless you're poisoned, in which case, the Entangle-Scan will filter them out. I can see a huge market for this replacing all other hang-over cures,” Max said, with a geeky chuckle.
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