Whoa.
Inside, I groaned. When would I stop projecting Brooks onto every man I met? I kept saying love stinks. But maybe it wasn’t love, but how I acted when I was in love that stank up the joint.
“Y’all come on and join us.” I gave Patti a wink when Lightfoot wasn’t looking.
He tossed his hat on a table and sat down. “I don’t care about your rat of a dog. I’m now officially off the clock.”
“What are you two up to?” Uncle Eddie asked. “Want some dinner?”
Lightfoot’s eyes widened and his brown cheeks darkened. “Uh, we’re not together.” I couldn’t get a read on him. Why was he embarrassed? If Patti could handle him, she could have him.
“Oh, no,” my best friend said, “we just happened to walk in together.”
“I hope you’re hungry. You can’t get better tilapia in this county.” Ryan pulled up a chair as well.
“That’s not saying much,” Patti said, pulling a face.
“Uncle Eddie, will you do the honors?” I asked.
“Sure thing.”
“Hey, bring me a taco salad with grilled chicken,” Patti called to his retreating back.
As I joined them, Lenny reached over and licked Lightfoot’s arm.
“What was that?” He wrinkled his face in disgust.
“That was the seal of approval.”
“Yip,” Lenny said.
My friends all laughed in agreement.
“Something’s been nagging at me,” Lightfoot began, reaching into his jacket. “Why did I find Patti’s camera in your oven?” He placed a familiar Nikon in the center of the table.
I shrugged. With all the excitement, I’d forgotten all about it.
“As soon as Elaine started banging on the door of Josie’s apartment, she demanded my camera.” Patti leaned forward. “I didn’t know why she wanted it, but I sure as shootin’ wasn’t going to give it to her.”
The intoxicating aroma of spicy fish tickled our noses seconds before Uncle Eddie entered the room with our dinner.
“Don’t worry,” he said to Patti. “I’ll be back in two shakes of a lamb’s tail with that salad.”
After eating nearly half of his fish in three bites, Ryan paused. “Why do you think she wanted your camera?”
“I’ve been trying to figure that out since Saturday.” Ryan tried to raise a bite of fish to Patti’s mouth, but she batted his arm away. “All it had on it were some pictures that Dixie asked me to take of her jewelry.”
“What else?”
“Nothing except a few photos from the tamale party.”
I grabbed her by the arm. “Show us.”
Slowly Lightfoot lowered his fork. “Right now.”
With a shrug, Patti turned on the camera and started scrolling through her pictures.
“Who all did you take a picture of?” Ryan asked as he looked longingly at my untouched plate.
She adjusted her chair. “Everybody. Elaine, Bubba, Frederick, Hillary, Ryan, Melanie, Suellen, Mayor Cogburn and his wife.” She rubbed the back of her hand back and forth across her forehead. “A few were posed, but most were candid shots of the committee members making tamales.”
“Did you take a picture of me too?” Senora Mari asked as she joined us.
“Shh,” I said to the older woman, taking my life in my hands. “Was Elaine making tamales?” I held my breath.
With sudden understanding, Patti caught my eye. “Yes. Maybe. I think so.”
“When was that crazy woman making tamales in my kitchen?” Senora Mari demanded.
“Shh,” we all said in unison. We crowded close to the camera as Patti quickly flew through the photos until she reached one of Elaine and her daughters.
“What’s so special about that?” Ryan asked.
“Nothing, you dimwit,” Patti groaned. “That’s not the one.”
Clenching my hands so tight that my nails bit into my palms, I urged. “Come on. Where is it?”
And then Patti stopped, her eyes glued to the camera. Wordlessly, she turned the display so we could all see the truth.
“OMG!” I cried. “Elaine hid the necklace in the tamales during the party!”
“She must have thought you caught her in the act,” Lightfoot said quietly.
“I had the evidence all along.”
The four of us sat for a moment in silence.
“Wasn’t she afraid of someone catching her in the act?” Ryan asked.
“I wish I had her here,” Abuelita said. “I’d pull every hair out of her head.”
“Exactly,” Ryan said, slapping his hand on the table and nearly toppling the salsa. “Didn’t she know Senora Mari would find it?”
Senora Mari’s scowl was frightening.
“Yes, but we all know how demanding Elaine Burnett can be,” I said. “She probably wanted Milagro to look bad so that her own business would take up the slack.”
I glanced from one to the other. “And she nearly died by her own hand.”
“I thought she was going to choke to death during the tamale-eating contest, for sure,” Ryan added.
“You have a keen grasp of the obvious,” Patti muttered.
“Yip,” Lenny said, and I put him down. He ran to the supply room and came back with his leash.
“Someone needs you,” Uncle Eddie said in a singsong voice.
“And I need him,” I said with a smile. “Best friend and hero rolled into one.”
What else could a girl want?
Recipes
Senora Mari’s Tamales
Yield: 4 to 5 dozen chicken and pork tamales
MEATS:
3½ pounds whole chicken
3½ pounds pork roast
CHILE SAUCE:
24 pods dried red chile
2 teaspoons salt
MASA:
1½ pounds lard
5 pounds masa harina
5 tablespoons baking powder
5 tablespoons salt
FILLING:
1 large onion, chopped
3 cloves garlic, chopped
2 tablespoons lard
3 cups meat broth (from cooked meats)
4 cups chile sauce
2 tablespoons salt
shredded meats
TAMALE ASSEMBLY:
2½ pounds corn husks
MEAT: Boil chicken and pork roast and cook until meat falls off bones. Remove from stove and let cool. Discard fat. Drain meat and save broth. Then shred meats.
CHILE SAUCE: Wash red chile pods and remove stems and seeds. Bring chile and water to a boil; reduce heat and steam 10 minutes or longer. Pour liquid into blender; strain sauce through colander or sieve to remove any remaining chile skins. Add two teaspoons salt. (This should yield approximately 4 cups.)
MASA: Whip lard to consistency of whipped cream. Mix with masa, adding baking powder and salt. Beat until mixture is fluffy.
FILLING: Sauté onions and garlic in 2 tablespoons of lard; add 1 cup of broth, 2 cups of chile sauce, 2 tablespoons of salt and shredded meat to make filling. Simmer 20 minutes, adding more broth if needed. Add 2 cups of chile sauce and 2 cups broth; mix well. More broth can be added if masa is too thick to spread easily.
TAMALE ASSEMBLY: Clean and dry husks. (Corn husks brush off more easily when the husk is dry.) Wash in warm water and leave to soak until ready to use. Spread husks with masa and filling by placing 1 heaping tablespoon of masa in the middle of the husk and spreading toward outside edges, top and bottom. Spread closer to top of husk than bottom. Spread 2 tablespoons filling in the middle of the spread masa lengthwise. Overlap husks and roll. Fold bottom of husk up 1½ inches. Place on flat surface with fold underneath. Repeat until all masa and filling has been used.
STEAM TAMALES: Steam cook tamales b
y placing them upright on the folded end in steamer. Place husks or foil on top; cover tightly and steam 2 to 3 hours. If no steamer is available, use a large cooking vessel such as a cold-pack canner. Line bottom with foil, as the husks scorch easily. Place tamales on rack or pan inside of a cooker and put a tin can, which has had both ends opened, in the center. Stack tamales around can and pour 4 to 5 inches of water in cooker. Steam 2 to 3 hours tightly covered. Tamales are done when one can be rolled clear and free of the husk.
Hints on Making Tamales
One pound masa to 1 pound meat makes approximately 1 dozen tamales. The yield is determined by the size of the tamale. Filling may be prepared the day before and refrigerated. Beef as well as chicken or pork may be used if desired. Masa harina may be purchased at most stores. Canned red chile sauce may be substituted for fresh chile sauce, but the same rich flavor is not obtained. Finger tamales may be made for appetizers. In making tamales, the cut end of the corn husk is used as the top and the slim, pointed end as the bottom. Dried red chile may be purchased as mild or hot, whichever you prefer.
Aunt Linda’s Healthy Sweet Tamales
4 cups masa harina
4 cups water
½ cup vegetable oil
1 tablespoon cinnamon
1 cup sugar
Pinch of salt
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 cup raisins
1 cup coconut
3 apples diced with skin
1 can pineapple tidbits without syrup
2 cups mozzarella cheese
1 cup pecan quarters
48 corn husks soaked in water
Place masa harina in a large bowl, add water and mix using a mixer. Mix together oil, cinnamon, sugar, and salt until they dissolve. Add to masa and mix, using a mixer on high for 2 minutes.
Add baking powder and mix on high speed for 5 minutes. Add remaining fruits, cheese, and pecans and mix them using a large spoon. Let the masa rest for 10 to 20 minutes.
Place a quarter cup of filling in the center of each husk lengthwise. Spread the masa and fold, the same way Senora Mari does in her recipe. Place in steamer with open ends up and steam for one hour and 15 minutes.
Awesome Texas Chili Pie
2 pounds ground chuck
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 (12 to 14 ounce) can tomato sauce
1 (10 ounce) can Ro-tel
½ teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon ground oregano
1 tablespoon ground cumin
2 tablespoons chili powder
1 (14 ounce) can kidney beans, drained and rinsed
1 (14 ounce) can pinto beans, drained and rinsed
¼ cup masa (corn flour) or corn meal
½ cup warm water
Corn chips
Sharp cheddar cheese, grated
Diced red onion (optional)
Brown ground chuck with garlic in a pot over medium-high heat. Add tomato sauce, Ro-tel, salt, oregano, cumin, and chili powder. Cover and reduce heat to low. Simmer for 30 minutes.
Add drained and rinsed beans. Stir to combine, then cover and simmer for another 20 minutes.
Mix masa with water, then add to the chili. Stir to combine and simmer for a final 10 to 15 minutes. Set aside.
Serve by lining bowls with corn chips, and pile in chili, cheese, and diced onions.
A crowd-pleaser!
Melanie’s Texas Peachy Pecan Pie
Serves 8
¾ cup sugar
3 tablespoon flour
4 cups sliced peeled peaches
1½ tablespoons lemon juice
¼ cup brown sugar
¼ cup flour
½ cup chopped pecans
3 tablespoons butter
1 (9-inch) unbaked pie shell
Combine sugar and flour in large bowl. Add peaches and lemon juice. Combine brown sugar, flour, and pecans in small bowl. Cut in butter until crumbly. Sprinkle one-third pecan mixture over bottom of pie shell, cover with peach mixture, and sprinkle remaining pecan mixture over peaches. Bake until peaches are tender (about 40 minutes).
Uncle Eddie’s Favorite Chile Rellenos
6 fresh ancho, pasilla, or Anaheim chiles, or 1 (27 ounce) can poblano peppers or mild whole green chiles
½ pound Oaxaca cheese, thinly sliced
1 cup corn oil
6 raw eggs (separated)
¼ cup flour
Salt or Mexican seasoning to taste
2 cups salsa verde
2 cups homestyle Mexican salsa
Rinse the chiles. Preheat your oven to broil. Place the chiles in a 9x14” baking dish and place on the top shelf of your oven. Watch and listen closely. When the skins start to make popping sounds and to char and turn black in places, take the chiles out and flip them over. Be sure and use a potholder so you don’t burn your hands!
When both sides are fairly evenly charred, remove them from the oven. Wrap each chile in a moist paper towel or place in a sealed plastic bag to steam. After a few minutes, check them. Once the skin comes off easily, peel each chile.
Cut a slit almost the full length of each chile. Make a small T across the top, by the stem. Pull out fibers and seeds (this is where the heat is) and replace with a slice of cheese. You can set these aside, for a few minutes or a few hours if you put them in the refrigerator.
Heat the oil in a skillet until a drop of water sizzles when dropped into the pan.
Whip the egg whites at high speed with an electric mixer, until stiff peaks have formed. Beat the egg yolks with one tablespoon flour and salt. Mix the yolks into egg whites and stir until you have a thick paste.
Roll the chiles in the remaining flour and dip each one in the egg batter. Coat evenly. Fry, seam side down on both sides until golden brown. Place on paper towels to drain.
Meanwhile, heat the salsa in a medium saucepan (either one or some of each). Place one or two rellenos on each plate and pour salsa over them. Serve them immediately.
Tips:
Fillings can be made ahead of time and refrigerated, then brought to room temperature before stuffing chiles. Fillings should be at room temperature or slightly chilled. If fillings are hot, the juices will flow out and cause the coating to slide off. Use enough filling to stuff each chile relleno as completely as possible, but not so much that the seam won’t hold together.
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Here Today, Gone Tamale Page 27