by Candy Nicks
Sol's fingers grasped her hips, steadying and guiding. “Take it slow. For a woman, first joining is painful."
"Good” she said. “Pain is more easily remembered. I want this memory for all my days."
Now he is ours, Tian. From deep inside, the wolf lent its approval to the mutual exchange of trust and love embodied in this physical act. Once given, the wolf's allegiance would not be shaken. The last barrier melted away along with her virginity and the final remnants of her old life. After all the angst, she offered herself willingly and without reserve. Holding nothing back from this man who would give her everything in return.
Her world became a blur of sensation. Skin, slick and wet sliding over skin. The incoherent babble of lust-filled words spilling from Sol's mouth. Strong fingers squeezing and caressing as they rode together towards an explosive climax. How could it be any other way, when they wanted with such intensity? And when the scent of him, so aroused, made her head spin.
Bliss enveloped her. She was only dimly aware of Sol struggling to pull away.
"Let me go, sweet- heart,” he said urgently. “No protection. Don't want to get you with child."
"Child?” Catching her breath, she held him in place, keeping him trapped, firmly inside. He went rigid beneath her, panting and groaning in the effort to hold back his release. Even as he begged her with his eyes, to let him go, she knew he would remain frozen and hovering on the brink, until she gave him leave to move. With loving care, she smoothed back the tangled strands of his hair. Touched the puckered skin of his head wound. Bent to place a tender kiss on his lips. “I want everything you have to give,” she whispered. “Wolves mate to ensure survival of their pack. You and I will do the same to leave something of us behind when we are dead and gone from this world."
Sol made a noise halfway between a laugh and a sob. The room cart-wheeled, and then she was under him, crushed by the full weight of his heavy body driving into her, pressing so close she thought their bones might fuse together.
Weeks of frustration, vented in the roar of his climax and when he'd stopped moving, he held himself inside her, unheeding that she might be sore from the first joining. A glimpse of Sol the warrior, no longer the gentle man, who, up till now had been so restrained, so polite.
"I did not mean to be rough,” he said, after a weighty silence. “Your generosity ... it overwhelmed me."
"Not generous,” she said. “Selfish. Am I asking more than you wish to give?"
"Your wish is my command,” he replied, more himself now his pulse had slowed and his breathing returned to normal. He caught her up and eased his weight from her, making them as comfortable as the narrow cot would allow. He sounded exhausted. And so was she. The grief of losing her mother, the agony of deciding whether to live as human, or wolf. Sol's unexpected intrusion into her life. Each event had taken its toll.
"Do you need to tend the horses?” Sleep washed over her in soothing waves. She yawned and snuggled into the curve of Sol's arm, his biceps her pillow.
"They'll be all right for a while."
He replied with a yawn of his own and she listened to the sound of his breathing evening out. Felt his seed, warm and wet on her thigh. The long hard length of his body fit so well to hers.
Now she understood her mother's wish. The Goddess, however, never bestowed bounty without demanding her due—had she not spoken of challenges? Everything had its price. Her mother's sacrifice was proof of that. A fleeting and terrible sense of panic gripped her momentarily when she realised they may have to pay dearly for this happiness.
The sense of disquiet grew. When Sol feel into a deep sleep, Tian wriggled carefully from his arms and stooped to retrieve her coat.
Outside, she sniffed the air and caught the scent of the impending snow. Dark clouds, menaced the high peaks, full and heavy. Winter would not come softly this year. Time, at last, to be gone. The coat fell to the wooden porch-boards. One final run on the mountain. Retrieve her keep-sakes from the cave. A visit to commit her mother's resting place to memory, and then she would be ready to leave with Sol. Gracefully, she changed, in harmony once again with the wolf. Together, they set off to make their goodbyes to the places they had loved.
She had not known a wolf could weep real tears. The ledge, their cave, her mother's grave—the wolf lingered at each site, sniffing the earth. Committing the sweet smell to memory.
Will his mountains shelter us as these have, Tian?
I think they will. Sol, my brother and his family, they are happy there. We will be, too.
Fill a bag of earth to take with us.
A good idea. Be content, Wolf. I cannot bear your sadness.
The wolf peered into the ravine, remembering how Sol saved them from the plunge. If he'd died that day, it would have rejoiced. Now, it would love him for Tian.
Thank you, Wolf. I love Sol, but you are more dear to me than any other creature in this world.
You do not love him more?
No. I would not sacrifice you for anything.
The wolf's heart swelled with a joy it had never experienced. Through the trees, its keen eyes saw the empty plains below the mountain slopes. Beyond the horizon, a new life awaited them. They had only to take the first step. A surge of excitement gripped it. New smells and sounds. Its nostrils twitched. A whole new mountain range to explore.
It quivered in anticipation. Does Sol understand what the Lupine is? Will he truly let us be free?
Deep inside the wolf, Tian caught its excitement. He's lived around Lupines for most of his life. His sister married my brother. Sol knows what we are.
We will protect him, Tian. Humans are so vulnerable. Even one strong as Sol. Their life-span is but a few meagre years. We must return now and watch over him.
Tian changed back, anxious to be beside Sol when he awoke. Before entering the hut, she brought the horses nearer and tethered them to the porch rail. For the first time ever, she glanced over her shoulder as the shadowy dusk enveloped the clearing. The outside world would not be long in finding this place.
She gazed at Sol, relaxed in sleep, and prayed he had come only for her and not for a long-overdue reckoning with her father. Pride was of no use to the dead. She did not sleep again. If her father appeared, she would deal with him. Sol need never know.
She had not thought herself capable of taking a human life. But for this man, whom she now held in her heart, she just might.
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Chapter 8
Sol awoke to a new world. A soft, lithe body flush with his. Dark hair streaming over his chest. Somehow, Tian had walked out of his dreams and into his bed. He blinked into the creeping morning light and murmured a prayer of thanks. Such contentment was the gift of the gods. In that brief, uncomplicated moment, Sol lay listening to Tian breathe, his mind empty of everything except this woman lying beside him.
No ordinary woman. And never wholly his. Shifting, he took her in his arms, awed by her soft compliance, after such hostile resistance. When she awoke, he would speak the vows. Sacred vows, which would seal their union with the formality of the ages. Then they would leave for the long journey home.
A trickle of anxiety filtered through the contentment. The biggest danger could yet be lying in wait.
"I won't let anyone harm you,” he whispered.
"I know. I will do the same for you,” she replied arching against him in a morning stretch. Sol's body responded with hungry urgency.
He rolled, covering her, trapping her hands above her head. Studied the woman who, from now on, would be his life-mate in every way. Who would share body and soul with him. She opened herself and took him inside with a deep sigh. Compliant, but already protective of him in her own way. He expected no less from a Lupine, the most beloved of the Goddess.
Afterwards, they stood, wrapped in a blanket, on the porch steps watching the sun struggle to compete with the thick veil of grey cloud hanging heavy over the mountains.
The ever patient horse
s raised hopeful eyes. Yes, Sol thought. It's time.
"Are you ready to leave?” The decision remained hers. He tightened his hold. “See the sky?"
Tian sniffed the air. “This will be a hard winter."
"All the more reason to be gone today."
She rested her cheek on his arm. “We should not fear my father. We are strong and you have spoken the vows. I am no longer his legal property."
"You don't know him like I do. He's clever and manipulative. Ruthless, but subtle. A healthy fear of the enemy is always a good thing."
Breaking his hold, Tian stepped away to lean, arms braced, on the porch rail. “My mother painted such a dark picture of the man. I only have her side of the story.” She glanced back at Sol, confusion clouding her eyes. “Part of me wants to meet him. To look him in the eye ... I don't know why."
"Tian, it's natural to want to know. To ask questions.” Sol spoke gently, tempering his words to lessen the pain they would cause. “When I was eight summers, I foolishly attempted to follow Finn on the mountain. Your father found me. Promised we would go together. He only wanted to use me to get to his son."
"Would he have killed you?” Tian picked at the worn wood, every sense alert.
"I'll never know. Finn rescued me. I thought I was going to die and left him with a knife in his thigh."
The wolf, not Tian, replied. “You did what you had to. I would have killed him."
"Finn had the chance. He couldn't do it. Listen to me, Tian. Things are rarely black and white. It's not a matter of good versus evil, only people with different interests to serve. I doubt your father sees himself as evil. I could easily have plunged the knife into his heart rather than his leg. If I had, you would never have been born."
When Tian turned to him, her wolf eyes shone bright and luminous. “Each decision we make changes the world. And everything has its price. He lives so we can have this.” She walked into his arms, wrapping her own about his waist. “Feel how strong we are. In us, he will find a formidable foe."
"And I thought you a damsel in distress, in need of a valiant saviour” Sol said, only half joking. Reaching into the pocket of his pants, he retrieved his mother's Crystal and slipped it into Tian's palm. When she made to protest, he enclosed her hand firmly with both of his, trapping it along with the Crystal. “We are to be tested. The Goddess said as much. Ask the Crystal what lies ahead. Let's be prepared for it."
"Sol, let go!” Tian whipped away her hand, almost flooring him in her panic.
"Don't be afraid of it.” Sol enclosed her hand once more in his large fists. “It speaks to you. What does it ... Gods, what was that?” A flash of blue light blinded him momentarily. He tried to pull away but his fingers were locked tight.
The Crystal pulsed with a searing heat that seemed to fuse their hands together and threaten to burn a hole through their skin. A rush of power overwhelmed him, jolting through him to the roots of his hair. He heard Tian's cry as if from a great distance. Felt the tightening of her hands in his. Images flashed through his mind, like scenes from an out-of-control carousel. Muddled pictures of his past mingling with hers. Tian as a child, a young woman. A terrified boy-child. Blood on his hands.
He saw the two of them sitting on this step, outside the hut. The images spiralled forward, pitching them both into a tangle of possible futures. Tears, laughter. Regret, relief. The future was theirs. They only need make the choice. And through it all, wound the image of a bearded man, lank, beaded hair silvered with age. Sharp searching eyes. His smile cold and knowing.
Tian's anguished howl cut through the whirling images and where he'd been grasping skin, Sol now felt wiry fur and the sharp rasp of claw. Holding on to the wolf was like trying to capture the wind. Tian's tattered shirt fluttered to the ground as the images severed, abruptly. The only sound that of a button spinning on the wooden decking. Sol watched it, stomach lurching, waiting for the world to stabilise.
In the middle of the clearing, the wolf crouched low lips peeled back, teeth bared. The mare pranced nervously, while Balan fixed the wolf with a wary eye. Sol instinctively reached out a conciliatory palm. “Stay,” he said. “It's just a vision. Not real. It can't hurt us."
Tian reappeared, nakedly vulnerable. Dazed and confused. Shaking visibly. Quickly, Sol snatched up the blanket and descended the steps.
An oppressive silence filled the space left by the visions. “Come into the hut,” he urged, overcome by an irrational need to be inside where they couldn't be seen. “Dress and pack your belongings. We're leaving now."
"I saw him.” Tian moved like one in a trance.
Sol steered her up the steps, pausing only to pocket the now-cool Crystal from the porch-boards. “Yes, it was him. We need to leave."
"He'll find us.” Tian grasped the door-frame, eyes squeezed closed. “I saw it so clearly this time. My mother's magic is fading. He knows it no longer protects me."
Sol bundled her inside, slamming the door with a hefty kick. “Tian, I'm sorry to have put you through that. We have the advantage now. When he arrives, he'll find only a grave and an empty hut.” He grasped her lightly by the shoulders. “Did you see anything else? Feel anything that might help us?"
His body shook, but not with shock or fear. The healing power of the Crystal had wiped away the pain of his injured shoulder. His was a warrior's body readying itself for a long-awaited confrontation. He released Tian's shoulders, aware that he was gripping her with the same vigour coursing through his veins.
Tian frowned and glanced at the door. “It was different this time. As if ... we'd somehow opened up a channel to him. He could see me, Sol. As clearly as I saw him.” She shook her head. “Why did I not feel that connection the last time I held the crystal?"
"Because I wasn't with you,” Sol said quietly. From the few seconds of confusion, one image remained sharp and clear in his mind. Her father's sudden flash of comprehension. Eyebrows raised in surprise. The slow smile forming on his lips.
"Damnation! I have the greater emotional connection to your father. He used me as the channel. He was looking at me, not you."
"And now he knows where we are?"
Sol tipped back his head and roared through gritted teeth. “I've been so stupid,” he ground out. “I came to save you and all I've achieved is to tell him where to find you."
Still wrapped in her blanket, Tian leaned into him.
"Don't blame yourself. He was destined to find me. Blood will know blood, isn't that how the saying goes? Perhaps we should seek him out. Talk to him."
"No.” Sol held himself in check, resisting the urge to crush her in his arms and hold her for all eternity. “Your father and I have a score to settle. I will take you to Wolf's Valley and then go and find him, alone. I will put an end to his menace once and for all."
"You're not going without me."
"I forbid you to come."
"You think you can stop me?” Her voice held a sad resignation rather than defiance. She would not be tamed with words. “I know you want this confrontation. And I know why."
"You think I merely want to prove myself as a warrior?"
"Partly, yes. You want to keep me safe but this fight is not yours alone. If I choose to confront him, you will not be able to stop me.” Tian crossed the room to stand by the hearth. She plucked a dried flower from the basket.
"My wolf found this on the very highest mountain peaks. The path is narrow and dangerous. My mother would claim a grey hair for every one it brought back. The wolf would not be told otherwise. Can you live with that, Sol? I will try to be a dutiful wife, but I will always do what I think right. I will always be me. Not someone to be moulded to fit an ideal. I will not be easy to love."
"What is this? A get-out clause?"
"If you mean am I allowing you to revoke the vows—then yes."
"I accept you, and everything you are. I've already told you that."
She placed the flower carefully onto the stone hearth. “You said the words. Now y
ou must decide to mean them."
* * * *
The unresolved issues between Sol and her father would not simply go away. By the power of the Crystal, she'd seen a man and a boy, felt the fear and the pain. The man's expression had cycled through surprise followed by relief at the sudden connection. Relief turning to an emotion she couldn't define. His voice still echoed in her head
A violent spasm of shivering made her teeth rattle. The man she'd hoped never to see had a backbone of steel to match her own. A survivor with the determination of the spring winds that battered the mountain-tops. In each of the possible futures shown by the Crystal, he was there, along with Sol. And each time it ended differently.
"I will do everything within my power to make you happy,” Sol said. “I'm only human, though. Can you live with that?"
Tian leaned back against Sol's solid warmth. “You've given me no reason to doubt you. By far, I have the best of this bargain."
"Don't be too sure. I once rode for two days when I heard a certain trader had acquired a batch of Cera-beans. I was determined to have them."
"Cera-beans? What are they?"
"Only the rarest and best coffee beans on the planet.” Sol chuckled and nuzzled her ear. “So, I've saddled myself with a headstrong wife? I won't be the first man to do so. You have yet to meet my mother, my sister, my sister-in-law..."
"I want to meet them. Take me now, today.” She wriggled from his embrace and glanced around, locating her leather satchel. “How much will the mare carry? We mustn't forget Cora. Oh, and something of my mother. I must take a memento for remembrance and place a goodbye marker on her grave."
"We will return. Next year. Bring a wagon to cart away anything you want. The priority now is to leave."