by Candy Nicks
"Allow me to save him,” she said. “I would give him my own life if it was still worth the giving."
It is, my most precious child. You will live your human life-span, never fear. Now think on my words. You cannot fight this particular battle with Sol.
"Then what can I do? I can fight it for him? Is that what you're saying?"
Ethereal laughter echoed on the night air. We women are stronger than men, but it does not do to let them know that. Our strengths often lie in the things they do not see.
Tian wrapped her arms around her chilling body. “You're asking me to let Sol believe he saved himself?"
A strategy women have employed to their advantage throughout the ages.
"I'm a Lupine. Sol regards me as equal."
His battered pride, as well as his body needs to heal. Do you understand? Think, child and then act upon your feelings.
"I want him to know I saved him. At least that I'd tried. How will he know I care for him, if I don't show him?"
This is the greater gift. Believe me, child. Sol needs a woman beside him, as well as a Lupine. You will complete him in ways you cannot yet imagine. Now show me that wolf of yours. It never argues back.
Because unlike humans, I understand your purpose, my Goddess.
The wolf bowed low, waiting for the blessing conferred upon only the most loved. The touch of an unseen hand on its fur sent a ripple of pleasure coursing through its body. Energised, it stood to its full height. Tested the weight of the pack slung across its back. A quick sniff of the air and then it dived into the night towards Sol.
* * * *
The power of belief could not move mountains, after all. Naïve to think it could.
Thoroughly exhausted from his efforts to stand, Sol hit the hard ground and cursed into the dirt. The second moon had set, the dim glow in the east heralded the sun. Regardless of his own small drama, the cycle of life wound on and would continue to do so after he'd given up the struggle to stay earthbound.
Quite the irony that his exemplary life had assured him of a place in Paradise and denied him a reckoning with Jarek in the afterlife. Had it not been for Tian, Sol might have traded that place for the underworld in order to meet the man face to face.
One more try. Only death stopped an Eagle warrior.
He pushed against the earth and felt it tremble. An earthquake to add to his troubles? The rhythmic beating sound grew louder, unmistakeable now. A horse and one he knew well.
Balan stopped beside him, lowered his head and began to expertly pick his pocket for a treat.
* * * *
The wolf stopped on the track, keen eyes taking in the rise and fall of the landscape. Seeking out familiar landmarks. A bent tree, a heap of boulders. The stream cutting through the fields. It stopped to drink, already picking up the strengthening scent of Sol's marker on the sharp air.
Buoyed by the Goddess's blessing it set off, almost flying with each powerful stride, hugging the banks of the stream.
"Let me change,” Tian said from deep inside. “Don't let him see you."
He's close, yes. Still alive. We must be quick. Change in the woods and use the talisman.
"Yes.” In the shelter of the trees, Tian fumbled into her clothes, pushed back her hair and fastened her coat. Three heartbeats, four if she counted her own thundering pulse. Scanning the track, her keen eyes picked out the dark shape of the mare, the flash of white that was Balan's, neck bent, nuzzling at the body lying beside the rushing water.
"He's moving."
Because he's Sol, the wolf said with pride. Did you think he would simply lie down and die?
"He's very weak. I must go to him."
No, he must believe he fights alone.
"I know.” She searched through the scattered belongings, frowning. “The talisman? Where is it?"
You do not have it?
"I can't find it.” Her voice held an edge of hysteria she could barely hold back. “Oh no, don't say I left it at the transport. It's not here."
Foolish! The wolf roared in her head. Change quickly. I will go back for it.
"I can't,” she said. “Jarek...” she shuddered. “He'll be cold and dead. Or perhaps still alive. What if he has the talisman? I can't go back there. Can't risk capture again."
Sol could die if we don't go back. Look at the clouds. Let me return before they open.
"Wait. We may not have to. Can't you feel it?” Holding up her hands she spread her fingers. Backlit by the weak morning light, they seemed to glow.
Residual magic? Not strong enough, Tian.
The glow faded and with it her hope. “The Crystal, then. Perhaps we can use it as a conductor? A channel? Goddess, is that possible?"
The heavenly silence did not surprise her. Sol fought alone and, for now, so did she.
This is the last time, she vowed. After this, all their battles would be shared, their burdens carried together. Pride be damned. It had very nearly condemned her to a lonely life on the mountain and it could well be the instrument of Sol's death.
Her chest tightened with fear and love. If he died, she would never forgive him. Nor herself for not throwing him over Balan's back and getting him to a medic with all speed. He had no need to prove himself to her.
He is a man, Tian. An Eagle warrior. He has every need to prove himself.
The wolf was right. Tian seated herself on the stubbly grass and tipped the Crystal from its velvet bag. A small spark of light arced through her fingers at the contact. Power, but nowhere near the strength of the talisman.
She felt the power reach out and die before it cleared the trees. Too far away. Balan lifted his head and stared in her direction.
"I must go closer."
And the horse will see you and alert Sol.
"I will take that risk. Be with me. As the hybrid, we are at our strongest."
Part woman, part wolf, Tian wriggled forward on bent elbows stopping at the edge of the small wood. The mare whinnied softly, anxious at the presence of a creature she did not recognise. Instinct told Tian to go to Sol. To lay the power of the crystal upon him. To touch him with her hands. The words of the Goddess and the wolf's caution held her in place.
"Goddess, I have done everything you asked of me. I haven't enough power to reach him and if I return for the talisman it may be too late to reverse the damage. You would ask me to sit here and watch him fade away? What will that achieve?"
More than you will ever know, child. You need yet to learn the meaning of trust.
"You have my trust."
No, sadly I do not.
"I could be at his side in less than twenty heartbeats. With my strength, he will be no burden. Balan is swift and strong. I will brave Jarek and find the talisman. If it is spent, I will sell Sol's hair to pay for the best medics, the best medicine. You would have me learn the ways of man? That is what a man would do."
How strong is your faith, child? In yourself and in your Goddess to whom you owe all things?
"I have faith in what I can see and touch."
Sol understands what faith is. Should I ask him for the ultimate sacrifice, he would obey without question. When I asked him to leap into the ravine, he did so. Such loyalty is very precious to me.
"You're asking me to leave it up to you?"
My will be done, now and always.
Around her, the trees sighed, touched by the Goddess's breath. Tian remained frozen in place. Wolf and human standing on the edge of a cliff. Ready to jump with no idea how long the drop would be.
The wolf's voice, not hers, answered.
He is yours, my Goddess. We accept whatever decision you make, without question.
My ever loyal Wolf, the Goddess replied. And you, Tian. What you do say?
"What can I say, Goddess? You made the Lupine part-human with all the frailties and failings of the species.” She leaped to her feet and raised her face to the sky. “Sorry, you know I've never been one for obeying orders. I will stay in place, as you asked. I'
ll even believe that you might save him. But I will not stand here and do nothing."
"Live, Sol.” Tian held up the Crystal and looked straight into its heart. A sunburst of energy from its core almost blinded her. In one smooth movement, she threw back her arm and lobbed the stone across the plain. The Crystal sailed through the air, straight to its mark beside Sol's head.
She grabbed a tree branch to stop herself following. “Goddess, you gave us free-will,” she muttered. “Forgive me, but what did you expect me to do?"
Exactly this, Tian. Exactly this.
Heavenly laughter filled the air, shook the trees. Tian paid it no heed. Her attention was firmly focussed on the man fighting his silent and solitary battle with death.
Let him believe he fought alone. She wanted no thanks other than he take the power she'd given him and live.
* * * *
One of the shooting stars had fallen into the grass a mere arm's length away. Sol strained to reach the glowing spark before it died. Smooth, warm and familiar, he closed his fingers around his mother's Crystal and stared at it in wonder.
Now he understood why she'd slipped it into his coat pocket the morning of his quest and quietly insisted it go with him. It will watch over you, she'd said with the kind of knowing smile he'd learned not to ignore over the years.
He gripped it tight in his fist, greedy for every scrap of energy. Seeking the place where Eagle and Moon-Child met. Where the warrior and pragmatist blended into the best of both worlds.
"Thank you, Mother. Thank you.” He levered himself to sit and waited for the nausea and dizziness to pass. Balan whickered softly, nuzzling his warm velvet nose against Sol's cheek. Behind him, the mare continued to graze the grassy scrub, unimpressed by the miracle taking place only a few feet away.
"And thank you, Goddess.” Without the weight of his hair, his head felt strangely light. He managed to struggle to his knees and stretch out his arms in homage, using the precious energy to pay his respects. Somehow, the planets had aligned. Tests had been set and accomplished. Gods and Goddesses pleased.
Yours was the hardest task of all, Sol. Go now and restore your honour. You have earned that right.
Sol bowed for the life-giving blessing. Despite his need to find Tian, he would not move until his Goddess gave him leave.
The heavens beamed with approval.
Go. Tian needs you more than she'll ever realise.
"She will always have me.” Sol rose and found his balance on watery legs. After the initial burst, life was trickling back little by little. Balan stood patiently while he grabbed handfuls of mane and heaved himself onto the animal's back, straightened his spine and urged the horse on.
To survive the walk through the Valley of Death was to be given a second chance and this time, it would not be wasted. From now on Jarek was a dead man.
* * * *
The wolf fled, easily outstripping Balan's slow plodding pace.
"We need to meet him on the track. Not too close to the transport,” Tian warned.
Better that Sol meets the wolf or the human?
"The wolf,” Tian replied. “He will never believe I would use mere human legs to find him when I have yours."
We will cross country and head back up the track. He will never know we helped.
"He thinks it was his mother."
Save him his pride and leave it at that. You need no reward for this other than Sol lives.
"You are my wisdom, wolf."
And you are the part which makes my life interesting. Shall we stop on the curve where the second road joins?
A good vantage point. From there they would see traffic approaching from both directions, although few travellers appeared to be taking to the road this early in the day.
"Yes, here. I do not want to be any nearer to the transport.” Had Jarek had been found? Stripped of his possessions, the transport looted or stolen?
You do not wish to retrieve the talisman?
"To do that, I would have to look at him. I couldn't bear that. We will sacrifice the talisman. Mother will understand."
The wolf dropped its burden in the ditch beside the track and took its bearings. A long deep sniff of the musty earth. A quick inventory of the bare-branched trees flanking the road, the boulders scattered about the plain by the great ice-floes of the past. Nowhere near as interesting as the forests and mountains they'd left behind.
If the Goddess wills, the talisman will return to you one day. Quiet, someone comes.
Low on its belly, hidden in the muddy ditch, it watched a man in a horse-drawn cart approach from the westerly road. With a flick of his whip he negotiated the sharp bend and ambled on towards Jarek and the transport.
"He'll find Jarek's body and raise the alarm."
Be calm. There is nothing to associate Jarek with us. Wait for Sol.
"Then we'll go home."
Patience, Tian. Not long now.
The wolf crouched low and rested its head on its forepaws, barely able to contain Tian when Sol finally appeared.
"Just a glimpse,” she cried. “Enough to let him see you. Don't scare the horses. Oh, now where are my clothes, let me change!"
Towards her, slumped over Balan's neck, came her purpose in life. Sol lifted his head to give her a drunken smile. She saw his lips move and then he slithered from the horse's back to land in a boneless heap on the road. Coat flying, she raced the short distance between them and dropped beside him. He was still smiling.
"I thought to find you dead,” she said unable to stop the tears stinging her eyes. The relief, if not the surprise, was genuine. Nothing mattered but being in his arms, holding him in hers.
"How? This is a miracle, Sol."
Sol grasped her hand. Allowed her to help him to sit. “A miracle indeed.” He squeezed her fingers and raised them to his lips. “The Crystal appeared from nowhere. I can only assume my mother, along with a little divine intervention ... I was coming to rescue you. Might have guessed you were on your way to do the same for me. How did you get away?"
"By killing Jarek. He ... let me out for a rest stop. My wolf ... I could not hold it back."
Only now did Sol seem to notice the small bundle of belongings discarded on the rough stones of the track. His eyes met hers, full of concern. He hid the disappointment well.
"I know you wanted a reckoning with him.” She cupped his cheek, running her thumb over the pale stubble. Can you forgive me?"
"I wanted to save you that pain. You killed your own father? Oh, Tian."
He clutched her to him with such force, he nearly stopped her breath. Then he kissed her, a lingering touch of his lips to hers. Reacquainting himself with the taste of her while she anchored herself by grabbing the lapels of his jacket to keep him there, with her. The Goddess wanted him? She had a fight on her hands. One she wouldn't easily win.
"I love you, Tian. Do you know what I mean when I say that?"
"If it means our future and our lives will be lived as one, then yes, I do.” Short hair suited him well. She sifted her fingers through the pale locks. Watched them catch the light and form a halo around his head. “An angel fallen from the heavens,” she murmured and wondered how she had come to deserve the honour of loving Sol. “Will you grow it back?"
"I have to become my father sometime,” he said with a wry smile. “He keeps his short as a tribute to his survival and I will also. It's fitting."
"I've have it here, in my bundle.” She stood with Sol, taking care not to offer assistance unless he asked.
His aura was healing visibly, the indistinct blur sharpening, the outline smoother, colours more vivid. Silently, she offered the last of the magic before the elements claimed it as their own. A look of understanding passed between them.
"Jarek had everything chance to reform. He chose the path to eternal torment, not you."
"I blessed a stone for him. He'd convinced himself I had the power. Did I do the right thing?"
"He didn't deserve you. He never de
served you."
"What else could I do?” She dropped her gaze lest the lies show on her face. Not lies, she told herself. Merely one version of the truth. “I know you would have rescued me, had you..."
"Not been incapacitated?” Sol dug at the ground with the toe of his boot. Blew out a long breath and stared at the sky as if looking for the meaning of life itself. “I'd appreciate you not mentioning that when we get to Wolf's Valley. My—"
"I understand,” she said quickly. “Sol, I will love you as you've never been loved. This I promise."
Sol swayed, remaining upright by force of will. “I'm doubly blessed. We'll sell my hair to stable the horses for the winter."
She frowned. “Only if the credits I found in my father's belongings are not enough. You do not wish to press on to Wolf's Valley?"
"This has been hard for me, Tian. I ... need time. Even if we could take enough food back to the hut to over-winter them, I wouldn't risk them on the snow and ice. The paths to the hut will be passable only on foot by now. We'll take Jarek's transport to the nearest township, if someone hasn't already stolen it. Marry and then winter at your hut. We'll return to Wolf's Valley when the spring thaws start."
A sharp pang of longing twisted her insides at the mention of her home. The horses had drifted off to graze the scrubby grasses growing beside the ditch. Other than the few trees and boulders, the plains were flat and featureless. Nowhere would ever match the beauty and majesty of her mountains. Not even Wolf's Valley, she thought, although she would never tell Sol that.
"I can't."
"You can't marry me?"
"I can't go back to the transport. Don't make me, Sol. I took what was important. Let's marry soon now I'm free."
"Wait here. I'll fetch the transport. Someone ought to—"
"No!” she grasped his arm, stumbling in her haste to stop him. A slim chance that Jarek had recovered his senses and found the talisman, but one she wasn't prepared to take.
"He's dead, let it be. No shame rests with either of us. Take me back to my mountains and we will make our own destiny. Now, Sol. Let's go now."
* * * *
A stray snowflake drifted from the sky to settle on Tian's dark hair. Anxiety stole the sparkle from her beautiful wolf eyes. He should be holding her, comforting her. Not acting the petulant child because he'd lost the chance to confront her father, man to man.