Snapped: A Sports Romance

by Meghan Lockley

  “I already filed a police report,” I say, watching Sean’s dad’s face change.

  “Well, then maybe he’ll have a chance,” he says. His eyes have steeled with new resolve, and I worry that my confession didn't make a difference. Then he adds, “Marie, call our lawyer.”

  “Reggie, get the checkbook. Please let us help, Rick.” My mother pleads as she holds me.

  Mr. Foley is lifting his hands, dismissing her words. But my mother insists. Between sobs, she explains how much it means to them that Sean stood up for me. I’m listening to her words and hoping that this also means that I’ll get a pass for Sean leaving my bedroom this morning.

  No such luck.

  After helping the Foleys seek legal counsel, my father brings it up as soon as we step into our home.

  “Why was Sean leaving your room this morning, Breanna?” He is watching my face carefully, as if a mouth twitch will give him a clue as to what’s really happening. I think about my options, and decide that being straightforward at this point would be best. After all, we’re adults.

  “We’re seeing each other,” I say simply. I cross my fingers that they don’t ask to what extent.

  My mother is wringing her hands and she and my father exchange a look. She sits next to me on the sofa and takes my hand.

  “Are you being safe?” She asks, and I roll my eyes. I nod, and her eyebrows knit together.

  “Why Sean?” My dad asks. His voice is on edge, and I realize this could go a lot of different ways.

  “Do you not like him?” I ask, crossing my arms.

  “Of course we like him,” Mom says, giving my dad a look meaning to stay calm. “He just has such a . . . history.”

  “Right. Honey, he’s a nice kid, but he’s not right for you,” My dad says, nodding at my mom’s words.

  “He’s a lot different now.” I try, but they are exchanging looks again. “This time was different. It was for my safety.”

  My mom tightens her lips and looks at her lap. My dad won’t look at me, but still wears a scowl. My stomach feels knotted, and I don’t understand why they are so concerned.

  “Listen, Breanna. If you’re just dating him because you feel obligated or indebted-” My mom begins. I stand abruptly, forcing her to stop talking.

  “We just don’t want you to settle!” My dad calls as I walk down the hall.

  I stop in my tracks and whirl around to face them. They both have deep creases in their faces and my dad runs his hands through his graying hair.

  “I want you to know that I’ve been in love with Sean since I was 15. I’m not settling.” Then I click my door closed, careful not to slam it.

  Slumping against the wood, I can hear them talking between themselves. They say he’s too unpredictable and unstable. That he won’t provide a future for me and will distract from my studies. That he is using me.

  They’re wrong, of course. But somewhere in my mind where I lock away my deepest fears, I hear their words.

  Sean

  Suspended from the semi-finals. Possibly longer, pending police investigation. That’s the official statement from my coach. I get it, they can’t perpetuate that they condone violence. But damn if it doesn’t make me feel replaceable and useless. It's like they don't care about all I've done for the program.

  So I don’t even bother going back to campus, not until the suspension is lifted. There’s no point. I’m not allowed in stadium. I’m not even allowed to practice.

  So after making bail, I stayed home.

  Now I’m watching the game with my dad, completely uninvolved with the playmaking. We are keeping even with the opposition because of our strong running game. They’ve given up throwing with the back-up QB. It’s a rough game for him to start cold.

  Between our running backs on offense and Mike crushing it on the defense, we might still have a chance. He’s more ruthless than I’ve ever seen. He even put a player out of the game in the first half. He wants the championship game and the draft rank that comes with it.

  Sophie’s eyes light up during every play he's in. I’ve never seen her so interested in football. I’m not sure where they left off. Things seemed tense when he left, but it might have been from my legal problems. I have my own shit going on and didn't bother asking.

  “Was that good?” Sophie asks, after Mike lays out a linebacker.

  “Yes, Sophie. It was good,” I answer. She smiles broadly.

  “So did they say how long this investigation is going to take?” My dad asks as he opens another beer.

  I shrug. I had already explained it to him, but he's pressed me daily for a different answer. Unless Vince drops the charges, we have to wait until my pre-trial conference to know anything.

  “What kind of stuff are you doing in case they let you play?” Sophie asks.

  “They aren’t going to let me play, Soph.” It’s the truth. The championship is next week. It would take a miracle.

  “Still, maybe you should be prepared,” She continues, her eyes fixed on the screen.

  “Yeah. I’ve been working out and watching film. That’s what coach said to do. It’s all I have.”

  That and Bree. She’s been the only bright spot in all of this. She’ll be coming over later, and thinking about her has been the only thing keeping me sane during the game.

  “Oh my God, YES!” Sophie screams as Mike intercepts the ball. My dad claps loudly. My happiness is overshadowed by the envy of missing the spotlight. I want to turn off the television, but try to suck it up. Not being involved is hell.

  With Mike’s interception, we are put into field goal range. The kicker puts the ball between the uprights, and with that, we’ve won by the skin of teeth. I text Mike to congratulate him. The only thing that makes me feel better about not playing is how frequently the announcers said the team needed me.

  On the other hand, they also felt the need to bring up the fight almost every other drive. That definitely tempered the satisfaction of being needed.

  I took down my social media. The constant harassment wasn’t worth seeing what my friends ate for dinner. I only text my family and close friends. Without adulation of fans, it is easy to feel invalidated. But however hard it is to fade away from the limelight, it's better to just stick with those who know and trust me.

  “I’m going to bed,” Sophie says as she clings to her phone. My dad agrees, and I tell them that I’ll make sure the lights are off once Bree goes home. As they shuffle different directions, I grab a final beer from the fridge and sit down in the silence. What would I do if I can’t play? I don’t have a back-up plan. All I have is football.

  My thoughts are interrupted by a soft knock on the door. Thinking it’s Bree, I answer it without looking.

  Tiffany is standing in the cold, her green eyes watery, and her mouth is in a subtle pout. I start to close the door, but the way her voice sounds stops me.

  “Sean, please just listen,” she says, trembling.

  I keep the door cracked, ready to slam in her face if she says the wrong thing.

  “I convinced Vince to drop the charges. He’ll speak to the police in the morning.”

  I open the door wider and study her. She isn’t wearing make-up and her hair is unwashed. She looks a mess, but it makes her look genuine.

  “What do you mean?” I ask.

  “I was the one who pressured him to press charges in the first place.” She starts crying.

  “You what?!” I yell. I step outside, closing the door behind me. I don’t want my family to hear.

  “I know, I know,” she says, holding up her hands. “I feel awful about it, Sean. I’m sorry. It's just got jealous about Bree. I wanted to keep you for myself.”

  “How does ruining my career accomplish that?” I sneer. She’s hiding her face behind her hands and shaking her head.

  “It doesn’t. I was stupid. I just thought that if you weren’t with me you should be punished or something. I didn’t want her to have what I want.”

  “Whic
h is a professional football player?!” I shake with rage. “This is the difference between you and Bree, if you need it spelled out for you. She’d like me the same even if I worked at Buck’s Car Wash. She doesn’t care that I’m about to go pro. Was. I was about to go pro. Thank you very much, Tiffany, for fucking over yet another aspect of my life.”

  The tears are pouring down her face, and she grabs my arm to keep me from going inside.

  “Sean, please. I know. I’ve felt guilty about it ever since I told him to go to the police. And then watching the game tonight without you in it . . . I realized how messed up it was. I talked to Vince and it’s a done deal. He doesn’t think he’d stand a chance in court, anyway. His lawyers were planning on trying to settle.”

  “Why would he even listen to you?” I spit. They weren't even close friends.

  “I’ve been sleeping with him,” She sobs. “That’s why he and Amy broke up. So it made it even worse for me when he pursued Bree that night. Like, both you and he want her. And I-”

  “You’re a bitch,” I say. She closes her eyes and nods, like she’s known the whole time. She looks at me through blurry eyes and takes a wracking breath. She looks so small and pitiful, and suddenly I’m feeling guilty for calling her names.

  “I’m so sorry, Sean. I’ll never talk to you again if you want, I swear. But I just wanted to tell you in person. I wanted to apologize. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what I said about Bree, too. She’s a nice girl. You deserve a nice girl,” she says.

  “So Vince is-” I try to get clarification.

  “He’ll drop the charges. First thing in the morning, he’ll go to the police department. I’ll make sure of it. You’ll be able to play. I’m sorry.” She wraps her arms around me and hugs me, as if trying to memorize the way I feel in her arms.

  I drop my arms and give her a placating hug. She pulls back and looks at me with her green eyes and gives me the saddest smile I’ve ever seen.

  “Goodbye, Sean. I won’t contact you again,” she says, and for once I believe the words coming out of her mouth.

  “Take care,” I call out to her as she crosses the snow. My mind is scrambling, and I don’t know who to tell first. I want to call Coach, but he’ll be in the locker room still. Maybe I’ll tell Sophie if Bree doesn’t get here first.

  “Oh, Sean?” She says from the cracked window of her car.

  Reluctantly, I trudge through the snow to hear what she has to say. When I get there she is staring straight ahead, unable to look me in the eyes. I wait for a few seconds, bending near the window in anticipation of what she’ll say.

  “Throw away the condom I put in your wallet,” she says.

  “What?”

  “Just do it.” She puts the car in gear.

  “Why? Did you-” I start, but she’s pulling away, wiping tears from her eyes.

  I reach in my pocket and open my wallet. There is one condom left, and it’s the one I brought from my dorm room. I used hers on Christmas Eve.

  Breanna

  My headlights cut through the darkness, illuminating the winding road. Through blurry eyes, I make my way across the state towards my college. Even my empty campus would be better than being home. I had been driving now for an hour, and I still couldn't get the image of him holding Tiffany out of my mind.

  Maybe he'd forgotten I was supposed to see him after the game. But he wasn't stupid. More likely, she showed up and he didn't have the strength to refuse her. He took her back and he didn't care if I saw.

  How could I not see? They were under his porch light, just like high school. His arms were wrapped around her and she was looking up at him with her pretty eyes. He was probably looking at her with the same expression he gives me. I almost pull over and vomit.

  My parents were right. Of course they were. They always were. Sean may have saved me, but he was still the same. He still loves fighting, he still loves fucking, and worst of all, he still loves Tiffany.

  I mean, my God, he even walked her out to her car. He used to do that all the time while they were dating. What could he possibly see in he after how she treated him? She called him names, called him a liar, and made him into a villain. The only answer I can conclude is that he has no standards. So what did that make me?

  I didn't even tell my parents goodbye. I left them a note saying not to worry, that I was going back to college because I had forgotten about charity event I was supposed to help host. I taped it on my bedroom door. I didn't tell Sophie either. She had texted me a few times throughout the night, as had Sean. I ignored them both.

  Sean's texts are coming in now so frequently that the chime may as well be part of my playlist. He's asked if I'm home. I packed my shit in the dark so that he couldn't take my bedroom light on as an invitation to come over. I had nothing to say to him. I didn’t even want to look at him. Not after seeing him look at her.

  As I drive, my tears fade and turn to anger. I'm a fool. I always have been. What kind of a girl saves her virginity for a guy who's never bothered showing any real interest? I trusted him and gave a part of me that can never being renewed. My parent's always warned me that once guys get what they want, they'll leave. Once again, they were right.

  I always imagined that we would end up together. That after spending one night together, things would magically fall into place. Tiffany was never in my fantasy. But I guess manipulative, life sucking users typically aren't fantasy material.

  I pull into my dorm and can't even believe I'm smart enough to attend this college. After all, I was stupid enough to think I could change Sean.

  And why would I think he was real? Yeah, maybe some of his words were genuine, and I know he can't fake the way his eyes lit up when he saw me . . . But Sean was flighty, unpredictable, and hard to understand. The same traits that make him captivating are what make him unbearable.

  There are only a few other cars parked in the lot. Most everyone else is still at home celebrating the long holiday. I haul my heavy luggage through the front entrance, remembering how Sean had lifted it into my house so effortlessly. He did a lot of things.

  My phone goes off, and I now have three missed calls from him. I don't bother listening to the voicemail. I put my phone on the desk and climb into bed.

  My heart is as heavy as my eyelids

  Morning comes before I am ready. The sunlight is streaming through my cracked blinds, and I wonder how late it is. My body aches and I feel hungover, despite not having a drink. My stomach clenches as I remember why I'm back in my dorm. My phone is blinking, and I bury my head in my hands, unable to handle it right now.

  At least I don't have to deal with my roommate. In fact, it looks like she's packed up permanently. Things had definitely gotten awkward between us at the end of the semester when I walked in on her flicking it to a cutout picture of a professor.

  Fingers crossed, I won't get a new roommate to take her place.

  I had meant to ask my parents about getting my own room, but after seeing how much they spent on me for Christmas, I felt guilty for even thinking about it. They had already helped me tremendously by paying half my tuition.

  My phone is ringing again, and I know it's probably my mom. They'll have found my note and be worried sick. I didn't even text them that I made it to campus. If I don't answer, they'll be beating down my door in a matter of hours.

  "Bree? Are you okay?" My mom asks, her voice is shaky.

  "Yeah, Mom, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you and Dad," I say. I press the phone tight to my ear. I'm the worst daughter.

  “We're just glad you're okay, baby. We've been worried sick.”

  "I'm sorry," I say again.

  "You don't really have a charity event, do you?" My mom asks. I've never been able to keep things from her.

  "No Mom. I don't have a charity event."

  "But you're okay?" She presses, unable to calm her voice.

  "Sean and I just got into an argument." I admit. "I think you were right. He's wrong for me."

 
Even as I say the words, I can't quite believe what I'm speaking. My voice sounds foreign and my tongue feels awkward in my mouth. For as long as I can remember, he's been The One. But what do you do when The One is hung up on his ex? There's not a fairy tale on this planet that could prepare me for this.

  Sean

  She's gone. I checked my phone. I checked my emails. I checked my sister's phone. I checked her house. Her parents look surprised to see me, but they don't know where she is either. They show me the note she left. All it said was bullshit about forgetting a charity event. It was a lie. Bree doesn't forget things like that.

  Despite my lawyer calling me to tell me that the charges have officially been dropped, my heart feels as heavy as barbells. I want to be excited and celebrate, but all I can do is wonder what went wrong with Bree.

  Sophie tried to contact her, and she had no luck either. At this point, we are all wondering if she's even safe. Her parents said if they didn't hear from her within an hour, they were driving to look for her. I wanted to find her either way.

  Loaded into my truck, armed only with my thermos of coffee, I drive out towards her college. I need answers. I need to know how could she could leave without even saying goodbye. I thought what we shared meant something to her. It meant everything to me.

  Sophie tried reasoning with me. She said it's possible Bree is too scared. Maybe she's overwhelmed. She's afraid of dealing with the legal issues. It could be true. She'd been through a great deal of changes lately.

  Still, it was impossible to picture her leaving without telling anyone goodbye. Especially her best friend or her parents.

  So now my stomach is twisting, and my primary concern is for her safety. She's the kind of girl who does exactly what she says. She's stable and responsible. She isn't exactly known for surprising behavior.

  My phone rings halfway through my trip, and my heart sinks when it's just Sophie. She tells me that Bree called her mother. She's fine, she's just at her dorm. Relief floods through me that she's safe, but then Sophie says more. She explains that Bree told her mom that she left because of me. She's having second thoughts.