I Carry Your Heart (Heart Series Book 1)

by C. M. King

  I tucked him back in his shorts and made my way back up. Joel lay there with his eyes closed tight, wearing the biggest grin on his face.

  I kissed him gently on the lips. “How was that?” I asked, already knowing my answer.

  “Wow.” Was all he could manage, as his grin grew wider.

  I smiled lying back down, feeling content, until the usual insecurities crept back in. He’d probably received great blowjobs all the time. Why would mine be any different? I frowned, coming down from my high with a thud.

  “Stop it,” he whispered.

  “What?” I turned to find him watching me.

  “Whatever you’re thinking.” His eyes searched deep into mine and I blushed.

  Could he actually read my thoughts right now?

  “I know you’ve probably had hundreds before and the girls were more experienced than me–”

  He didn’t even give me time to finish. He grabbed me, pulling me close so our foreheads were touching. “Iz, I’m so turned on by your touch and yours alone. The girls were nothing more than a distraction. With them it was over quickly to get a release. I didn’t love and care for them. With you I have this strong connection. I want to take it slow and savour every moment we share together. I love to watch you come apart, to know I have that kind of effect over your body.”

  I closed my eyes, knowing how much he truly affected me. “You do all the time Joel, you evoke so many feelings inside and you overwhelm me, the pleasure is so intense. I never knew it could be this good. I want to do the same to you, to make you feel just as good, I know I don’t have the experience…”

  He grabbed my cheek and my eyes wrenched open with shock. “Izzy, you drive me wild all the time. What you did, well you just surprise me so much, being with you is my heaven. I will never have my fill of you Iz. I wish you could just realise how amazing you are. I’m going to keep on reminding you till you do.”

  I was so overcome by his words that I needed a moment. I blushed and turned my face into the pillow, trying to calm down. His lips brushed up against my cheek, as his fingers slowly stroked my hair. I knew he was patiently waiting for me. I turned my head slightly, peeking at him and he chuckled. He leaned in, giving me a long, slow kiss on the lips.

  “I love you Iz, only you, thank you for tonight. You are all my dreams come true. I never want to be without you,” he whispered, pulling me into his arms. Our legs tangled together, we couldn’t have got any closer if we tried.

  I felt the tears build and despite my attempts to hold them back, one managed to escape. He flinched when it landed against his naked skin.

  “Hey, what’s wrong?” He asked, pulling me up so our eyes met again. The look of anguish in them, set me off even more.

  “Nothing’s wrong, I’m just acting like a girl.” I waved my hand dismissively, turning away but he held me tight.

  His frown deepened at my attempt to dodge his question. “Izzy, you need to tell me, was it something I said?” He brushed the hair away from my face and caressed my cheek, silently pleading for me to tell him.

  “Well it’s just…I never thought I would get the fairytale. It’s something I’ve always wished for, but deep down I never thought it would ever happen. It generally doesn’t to girl’s like me and well you’re here in my bed looking all sexy, and telling me everything I’ve ever hoped to hear, it’s all too much.” I nuzzled into his neck, needing time to compose myself.

  He kissed and stroked my hair. “Iz, I want our future, to share every single part of my life with you by my side. I can’t go back to my life before, I couldn’t handle the loneliness, the darkness, it would kill me now. You are my light, my hopes, my dreams, you make me feel things I never thought possible. If you left me I’d be lost–”

  “Hey–” I grabbed his face, staring deep into his eyes. “Joel, you’ll never have to find out. I’m yours and I’m never letting you go.”

  I watched the panic slowly subside, but I knew it never fully went away. Inside the seed of doubt would still be there, taking root, threatening to grow at any moment.

  “I just need you to know how much I love you.”

  I pulled him into a tight hug. “I know baby I feel the same.” I placed tiny kisses against his skin, feeling his body slowly relax.

  Eventually he pulled away and smiled, looking appeased by my words. He gently kissed my forehead and we slowly rocked in each other’s arms.

  I hummed a song in his ear, as he soothingly stroked my back. After a while I yawned and he chuckled.

  “We need to get some sleep,” he said, yawning himself.

  “Night Joel,” I whispered, planting a soft kiss against his neck.

  “Sweet dreams baby.” He kissed my hair and I nuzzled into his chest, already drifting off to sleep.

  * * *

  A loud bang ripped me from my sleep. I jumped up in confusion and quickly scanned the room for any signs of what it could be. For a second I thought I’d imagined it, till it started again. My heart nearly stopped the moment I realised it was coming from my bedroom door.

  “Iz, you’re going to be late,” Mike yelled.

  Oh my god.

  Mike was awake and Joel was still lying beside me.

  Shit.

  Why hadn’t the alarm gone off?

  Joel was beginning to stir, as the knocking grew louder.

  “Iz, you need to get up,” Mike shouted again. I heard the irritation growing in his voice.

  The door handle turned and I gasped with shock, but to my relief I remembered the magazine was there. I was just about to answer, when I watched in complete horror as the door shunted forward. On the third attempt it flew open, sending the magazine flying right across the floor.

  I looked up to find Mike standing there opened mouthed, eyes blazing staring at Joel and I together in bed.

  “What the fuck is going on here?” he growled.

  Joel’s eyes flew open in surprise. He leapt out of the bed wearing just his boxers and of course his usual morning glory.

  Mike looked down and his eyes bulged.

  It was pretty hard to miss.

  Anger flashed across his face as he flew at Joel. They both smacked down hard on the bed. I screamed leaping out the way. Mike repeatedly punched Joel in the face. Joel tried to maintain some kind of shield with his hands, but Mike had already split his lip, the blood from his face was splattered across the sheet. My heart beat so fast I could barely breathe. I tried in vain to pull them apart but Mike shoved me back hard, sending me flying. I smacked my head hard against the wall, losing all control. I slid down to the floor and groaned with the instant pain.

  Joel shot a look of concern my way. He tried to make his way over but Mike grabbed him, pulling him back and punched him even harder in the face. The punch caught him off guard and Joel hit the floor hard.

  Mike instantly leapt on him, pummelling his face. I screamed leaping back up, grabbing and clawing at Mike’s face in an attempt to stop him.

  My Mother ran through and looked on in horror, at the scene before her. She began screaming for Mike to stop, but he carried on regardless. By now I was in total hysterics, the look of hatred in Mike’s eyes was enough to indicate he was never going to stop, he was going to kill him.

  In a vain attempt to stop him, I leapt on Mike’s back and wrapped my arms around his neck choking him. He wrestled to throw me off but I clung on, desperately trying to keep him from returning to Joel. It seemed to work as he eventually stopped, and stood panting. The red mist surrounding him slowly began to vanish.

  I leapt off and looked down at Joel’s lifeless body, as a giant sob left my lips. His face was all bloodied and swollen, I could barely make out his features. For a moment I thought the worst, my heart nearly stopped but then he softly murmured my name.

  Anger soon took over and I turned, slapping Mike hard across the face. He stood there frozen in shock, as I screamed for my Mum to ring for an ambulance.

  I kneeled down beside Joel, sobbing and s
troking his blood-splattered hair. “Joel please, hold on the ambulance is on its way. You’re going to be okay, I love you so much, just keep remembering that baby.” I knew the ambulance wouldn’t take long, so I grabbed my jeans and top from the rail and headed for the bathroom to change.

  I needed to go with Joel. I would rather die than leave him on his own.

  My heart raced walking back in, looking down at Joel’s body, barely lifeless on the ground. I pulled my hair up into a knot and grabbed my phone, so I was ready to leave the moment the ambulance arrived. I kneeled down to sit with him and took his hand in mine, whispering words of comfort in his ear.

  “Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” Mike asked with a sneer, his eyes were full of venom and his voice still hard and cold.

  I flinched at his tone. “To the hospital Mike where do you think?” I was in no mood to converse with him anymore. I wanted the ambulance to arrive before I took my anger out on his face.

  “No you’re not.” He crossed his arms, continuing to glare.

  What the fuck?

  I leapt up, striding over, so our faces were barely inches apart. “Try and stop me, you should be arrested for assault, prey he comes out of this Mike cause I will never forgive you if he doesn’t.” I eyeballed him for several seconds, until the sound of voices downstairs distracted me. I breathed a sigh of relief that the ambulance people were finally here.

  It was going to be okay.

  I repeated it over and over, willing myself to believe it. Despite in this precise moment it felt far from it.

  As they lifted Joel inside the ambulance, I began to walk forward. Mike tried to grab my arm but my Mother pulled him back. “Let her go Mike, you’ve done enough already,” she said, starting to cry.

  I didn’t look back. I jumped inside the ambulance, instantly reaching for Joel’s hand. I kissed it and told him that it was going to be okay.

  I hoped for my sake it would be.

  * * *

  My body tensed the moment I heard my name being called. I let out a huge sigh of relief, that I was finally able to see Joel. When my eyes caught sight of him lying there I gasped. My hand flew up to my mouth in shock, his face was even more swollen. I could barely make out his features. He was covered in bruises and dried blood and the tears soon began to stream.

  I sat down, grabbing his hand. “Joel,” I croaked out, my throat was dry and tight. He murmured something, but I couldn’t quite make out what. I held my ear against his mouth.

  “I’m sorry Iz,” he murmured.

  “Sorry? What do you have to be sorry for? This is all Mike’s fault, the way I’m feeling now I don’t care if they lock him up and throw away the key.”

  I wanted him to be punished for what he’d done. I wanted to beat him up myself.

  “I’m not pressing charges Iz,” he said flinching, trying to move.

  I looked at him in shock. “He nearly beat you to death, he deserves it.”

  “He’s my best friend, I don’t blame him, he told me to stay away from you. I deserved the beating I took.” He closed his eyes, the pain was clearly overwhelming him. I wasn’t helping matters getting him all agitated.

  I picked up his hand, threading my fingers through his and pressed my lips gently against his knuckles. They were clean from cuts, where he hadn’t tried to fight back. It broke my heart that he thought he deserved his punishment.

  Joel began to drift back off, the drugs once again taking over. I whispered in his ear sweet words of comfort, I knew he needed to hear. He smiled softly and I hoped in my heart he truly believed them.

  * * *

  “Hey Iz,” Joel managed to croak out. Tears filled my eyes at the sound of his voice, relief swept through me that he was still here. After the pounding off Mike, I was certain things could have taken a turn for the worst.

  Mike had already texted me trying to apologise, but I hadn’t texted back. He didn’t deserve a reply, and I was more than sure my Mother was keeping him updated anyway.

  I leaned over with the water, gently placing the straw in his mouth. He took a few sips before lying back. After placing the beaker down, I gave him a gentle kiss on the corner of his mouth, avoiding the split and swollen part. It looked so painful, like it would take a long time to heal.

  I reached up, stroking the front of his hair to soothe him, in a distraction from the pain. My fingers caught in some of the dried blood. I felt sick that my own Brother inflicted that kind of pain on his own best friend. Right now I hated him with every breath in my body.

  I sat in silence, as Joel went in and out of consciousness. I tried moving several times for the drinks machine. I needed an urgent caffeine fix to keep me going. But the moment I attempted to loosen my fingers, he grabbed my hand each time. I tried reassuring him I wasn’t going far, but he clung onto me like his life depended on it. I guess he was afraid I’d abandon him in his hour of need. It saddened me to think he still had that level of fear inside him.

  * * *

  The door let out a loud creak and I winced trying my hardest not to disturb him, walking back into the room.

  “Iz?” he croaked out, trying to lift his head to look at me.

  “Yeah it’s me, how are you feeling?” I asked frowning, walking over to the bed. His appearance still shocked me. I tried my hardest to appear normal, when really all I wanted to do was drop to the floor and cry.

  “Like hell, I thought you’d left. When I woke up you weren’t here.” There was a tinge of sadness to his voice and it broke my heart, thinking he thought he’d been left all alone.

  “As if I would ever leave you, I went to get something to eat before my growling stomach woke you up.” I tried to make light of it, but his sad words still echoed inside my head.

  He chuckled and I leaned over kissing the corner of his mouth. I slipped my hand back into his, our fingers once again entwined.

  “I gave my Mum an update and I told her I’d be staying here tonight,” I said, stroking his hand reassuringly. I wanted him to know he was my priority.

  “Bet that didn’t go down well,” he replied, shuffling around to look at me.

  I frowned watching him wince, with every movement he made. “She didn’t have a choice, she isn’t in a position to argue at the moment.”

  Both our eyes snapped up when the door flew open. In walked the nurse to do her final check. Joel grimaced with the pain, as it shot through his body. I pulled a face too, only imagining how sore he must be.

  “Are you okay?” I asked, once the nurse left. She didn’t exactly have the best comforting bedside manner. I hated seeing him like this, I felt useless sitting here, not able to do more.

  The drugs finally took over and I watched him fall back under. I knocked the main light off, arranging his pillows and covers to make him as comfortable as possible.

  Flicking through an old magazine I’d found in the waiting room, I looked over a while later to see Joel’s concerned eyes fixed on me. “Iz go home, I’ll be fine, come back tomorrow.”

  I bent over kissing his forehead. “I’ll be fine, get some sleep.” My eyes grew wider as he started to prop himself up on his elbows, trying to scoot over the bed. “Joel, what the hell are you doing?”

  “Making room for you.” He groaned, dragging the covers back.

  I stepped backwards in surprise. “I’m not sleeping with you, I might hurt you.” My eyes scanned all the tubes in his arms and the wires. I was not about to pull out any so I could be comfortable, I’d lie on the floor if I have to.

  “Get in this bed now, before I have to drag you in.”

  I could see the fire and determination in his eyes, it was useless to even argue. I laughed at his words, he could barely move let alone drag me.

  I slipped off my converse, gingerly climbing into the bed, avoiding all the wires and IV drip that was in his arm. I lay on my side with Joel’s arm wrapped around me. I kissed him whispering goodnight and told him how much I loved him. He smiled letting out a sigh of
contentment. We linked hands falling asleep straight away.

  I was relieved the day from hell was finally over.

  Chapter 12 - Recovery

  The taxi was eerily silent on our journey home to Joel’s house. I shot a concerned glance over at him, but he was too preoccupied staring out the window to notice. His eyes remained fixated on the houses and cars streaming by. His hand nervously tapped his knee, his agitation was clearly evident the nearer we got to his house.

  Thankfully, Joel’s Dad John has gone to stay at his Brother’s in Southampton. He’d often go for a month at a time, during which Robert, John’s Brother would help detox him off the alcohol. He never stayed sober long after, always relapsing back to his old ways, the guy simply had no will power.

  Robert was the complete opposite of John. His compassionate, caring nature was the one shining beacon in Joel’s young life. He became Joel’s saviour after his Mum Linda tragically died, taking over the role of caring for a four year old. After being made redundant he was forced to move to Southampton for work, when Joel was only eight. Joel was heartbroken afterwards, losing the security and support of his Uncle, to be left alone with the guy that resented him so badly. He was the only one outside our family that gave a damn about him, who remembered all the important anniversaries. I was grateful he had him in his life, for the period before he knew us.

  In an attempt to relax him, I took hold of his hand and stroked it softly to soothe the tension away. I knew he was anxious about going home, it didn’t hold many good memories. He’d always had my house to escape to when things got bad, but right now that wasn’t an option.

  “Hey, are you okay?” I asked, squeezing his hand. I was hoping he’d let me into his dark train of thought.

  He shifted slightly, turning to face me. “Yeah fine.” He smiled reassuringly but the look of fear in his eyes told me different.

  He groaned when the taxi swerved slightly. I looked at him anxiously, worried about his ribs. “Well maybe not fine,” he murmured and grimaced, clutching his side.