1. I think that the true love of your father triggered the visions. I had never felt for another man what I did for him.
2. Because I married him I did not alter the future enough to prevent him from dying in the manner he did in the vision.
3. Every night since I first had the vision of your father’s death I dreamt of it and it never changed. Then the night before he died, I didn’t have the dream at all. I thought that was a good thing. I had stopped having the vision when I touched him many years before. However, it was a sign I ignored. I let my guard down.
Honey, I’m telling you these things not only because I needed to come clean about who I am, to give you some insight as to why I would have such an immense sense of guilt that I would end my own life, but because I fear that you may have inherited my abilities.
As a child I observed that you were very cautious and protective of others and extremely hard to surprise! I don’t know if I was seeing something that I wanted to see. We never talked about it and I never had visions or senses about you. I think I thought maybe your own abilities would take care of you.
Gracie, if you do have abilities similar to mine, please learn from my mistakes. Save yourself a lifetime of trouble and heartache. I’m sorry that I don’t have more knowledge about this to share with you. I don’t know where the visions came from, perhaps this is a mystery you can solve for the both of us.
The only other person I have told about any of this is your aunt Hazel. She has always been a wonderful sister to me and I know she will be a wonderful guardian for you. She does not have the senses or the visions, but she knows everything that I have just told you. Go to her for anything you need, you can trust her.
Take care my sweet red headed girl.
Love Always,
MOM
“Is this why you didn’t marry Avery’s dad?”
She nodded.
Tears were rushing to the surface. This was a hundred times worse than I thought it would be. I was just about to freak the freak out.
There was nothing I could do. Avery was really going to die the way I’d seen it. Forget marrying him or having a baby with him. We could never even be together. Oh God. My heart sank. I loved him so much already. How was I going to stand being near him knowing he couldn’t be mine? Loving me was literally going to kill him. I blinked away my tears. Please don’t let this be happening. I read through the three rules in the letter one more time and gave it back to Mom.
She wrapped her arms around me, hugging me. I could hardly feel it. She kissed the top of my head. That was it? That was the comforting? The explanation? A frickin’ letter and a hug and a kiss and “Sorry Zel, I had to ruin my true love, so you have to ruin yours.”
I stared at the cuckoo clock on the wall. It was going to go off soon.
“You knew about Erin?” I asked, “That she was going to die and you didn’t tell Mrs. Adams? That’s why she doesn’t like you?”
“Yes.” Mom said into my hair. “Mike called me one night when I was in St. Louis and told me that Becky was pregnant, that they were getting married. I had the vision then.” She kissed my head again. “I saw Avery too...well that there would be an Avery. I was glad for that.” She smiled.
“You weren’t mad? At Mrs. Adams, I mean? She was your best friend and she stole your true love.”
She shook her head. “I wasn’t mad. It was the best thing that could’ve happened, the two people that I loved the most in the world taking care of each other.”
“But they’re not taking care of each other, they’re miserable.”
“That is not my fault, although it’s yet another thing Becky blames me for.”
If I was Mrs. Adams, I would blame her too. No one is that selfless. “Why did you move back here then?”
She carried on with the story. “After Erin was diagnosed, Mike called again. He’d found a job for your dad at Trinity Lutheran and wanted us to move back here.” She studied my face. I gave her nothing.
“I knew they were going to need me, I wanted to be there for both of them, so we moved. But, I waited a while, too long, to tell Becky about the vision and by that point she thought I’d withheld it to get back at her for being with Mike. She’s not going to forgive me.” Mom let go of me and sat down at the table.
“You thought telling her was the right thing to do?” I asked.
She shrugged her shoulders. “Well, in retrospect, no. I shouldn’t have told anyone anything. I should have stayed in Missouri and never moved back here. But that’s not what I did and so I deal with what is the best way I know how.”
“And you’ve never told Dad?” I looked at the clock again. Three minutes to cuckoo.
Mom sighed. “No. Apart from my lack of judgment in telling Becky, no one knows except for Mike and Aunt Hazel.”
She turned the letter in her hands, rubbing it between her fingers. “Do you understand the rules? It’s best to stop this thing with Avery before you get in over your head. Believe me.” She brushed my hair back from my face. “I know what happens in the vision isn’t actually going to happen for a long time, but you can’t be too careful.”
Two minutes. “Do you still dream about Mr. Adams?”
“Every night. Thank God.” Mom grabbed my hand, transferring her vision of Mr. Adams to me.
I could see everything, like her thoughts were my own. It was awful. Mr. Adams sitting behind a desk, fear in his eyes, the muddled reflection of a woman aiming a gun at him, the bullet wound to his face, Mom standing behind him screaming her head off, the sheer heartbreak of it all. Tears spilled from my eyes. “And you got this vision right away? When you and Mr. Adams started...dating?”
She shook her head. “No. It took three years.” Tears started running down her face too. She blinked them back. “I thought I wasn’t going to have visions. I got the first one right after he proposed marriage to me. That’s why it was particularly painful to let him go. Why I had to get out of Rosedell.” She balled her fists, digging her nails into her palms.
“I know better than anyone Zel, what it feels like, how much you must already love him, but please, please save Avery’s life. It hasn’t been easy for me and it won’t be for you, but the sacrifice is worth it.”
Dad strolled down the hall singing. He knocked twice on my bedroom door on his way to the kitchen. “Morning has bro-ken, like the first more-ha-horn-nin.”
“Cuck-coo! Cuck-coo!”
I got up from the table in a daze, Mom grabbed my wrist, “You will find someone else to be happy with.”
I pulled from her, mumbling, “I have to get ready for school.” I rubbed the tears from my eyes and attempted to smile at Dad.
“Everything okay in here ladies?” he said. He stood before the open refrigerator, examining its contents.
Mom slipped her mother’s letter into her robe pocket and went back to making coffee. “Girl stuff, I’ve got it under control.”
“Ah.” Dad loaded up his arms with a carton of eggs, a bag of cheddar cheese, some deli ham, and some chives. He turned to me. “Omelet?”
“Yes, please,” I said. With a side of denial.
Chapter Seven
In the weeks since Avery appeared at my window, things between us had become very serious. He’d visited me late at night a few more times, resulting in more park bench maneuvers. But we had to be careful, I knew after my conversation with Mom that getting caught was not an option.
The only other time that we could be alone together was at school and we met every day during lunch under the bleachers by the football field. It was probably the most educational part of our school day. We tried, we really did, to spend a few minutes talking about something, school, parents, friends, but most of our lunch hours were taken up by making out. I found it very hard to be around Avery and not touch him in some way.
To keep his dad and my mom from suspecting anything was still going on with us, we didn’t sit next to each other at youth group or arrive late to the church service. It
took all the self control I could muster not to look at Avery throughout the entire sermon. And now, school was ending in a few days and so would our daily meetings. Good thing I’d finally had enough foresight to come up with a plan.
Rosedell got oppressively hot in June and stayed that way until early October. It made being outside pretty miserable. I didn’t know how Avery could stand to play soccer in this heat. The upside was that even pastor’s daughters could get away with wearing less clothing. Okay, I was maybe, despite the inevitable agony that lay before me, enjoying being a mildly slutty girl. After sixteen years of turtlenecks and hand-me-down floral print dresses, it was freeing to flash a bit of skin.
I showed up under the bleachers wearing a pair of cut off jean shorts and a light blue tank top, my long red hair piled up on top of my head, exposing the back of my neck. I was starting to know exactly what got Avery’s motor running.
I sat down next to him on one of the two milk crates we’d pushed together for a place to sit. He kissed me first thing.
I kissed him back, taking one of his hands and slipping it up under my tank top.
Avery pulled himself out of the kiss, letting his hand slide down my side and rest on my hip. “Well, hello to you too.”
I laughed. “Hey man, we haven’t got much time.” I moved his hand back up my shirt.
Avery withdrew his hand in mock surprise. “Who are you and what have you done with my innocent little girlfriend?”
I leaned back on the palms of my hands and stretched my legs out. “Little?” I asked, eyeing all five feet eleven inches of myself up and down. “Innocent?” I reached over and pulled him to me, kissing him hard on the mouth.
Avery took the initiative this time, skimming his hand under my shirt.
The electricity was always there now, crackling between us and I was addicted to it. He was too, only he didn’t know why. It wasn’t only love, it couldn’t be. This affliction that I had, the visions, it had caused me to need the bond between us. I craved him so much, I couldn’t even feel guilty about it.
I could not force myself tell him about the visions. Severing our bond would break his heart and mine. The idea of the two of us ending up like our parents, waving to each other through office windows, living for idle chit-chat on Sunday morning, was devastating.
Avery drew his head back and looked into my eyes. “What’re we going to do when school’s out? I don’t know if I can stand not seeing you every day.”
I sat up. I’ll admit I was a little bit excited about my plan. “I’m glad you asked. I’ve been thinking. Why don’t we take turns sneaking out of our houses a couple of nights a week? On Fridays I can spend the night at Claire’s and I’ve lined up a Saturday night babysitting job with the Hitzerts. They’re always out until like, midnight, and they just have one little baby that sleeps most of the time.
“That gives us two weekend nights and probably, just to be safe and not arouse too much suspicion, three week nights. I was thinking Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. We’ll take Thursdays off to hang out with friends, but you can always call me on Claire’s cell. Sound good?”
Avery gawked at me, visibly impressed.
“What?” I grinned and punched him on the arm.
He grabbed my hand. “You made a plan.”
Of course I blushed. “Yes, I made a plan.”
He pulled me to him, planting soft kisses on my nose and eyelids. “I’ll take Mondays and Wednesdays.”
Avery rode his bike towards his dad’s office, bummed, because soon his after school job was going to turn into full time summer employment. If it wasn’t for Zellie, he would be spending yet another summer vacation envying all of his friend’s plans for camping and road trips to the coast and Portland like he always did. At least now if his days had to suck, his nights looked promising.
He rounded the corner and turned onto Cascade Ave. Up ahead, a small crowd had gathered in front of the insurance agency. Something wasn’t right. Avery pedaled faster, his heart racing. What the hell was going on?
Juanita, his mom’s boss at the hair salon, noticed him and waved him over. Several people turned to look at who she was waving at. That’s when he noticed his mom’s Camry parked halfway on the street and halfway on the curb. His gaze shifted from the car to his mom, still dressed in her smock, the metal hair clips attached to it glinting in the sun. She looked like she was about to kick in the office door.
“Mom! Mom!” he called to her. He jumped from his bike, rushing to her side. “What’s the matter?”
“Avery...I can’t get in. Do you know where your father is?” She burst into tears, her face distorted with pain and red hot anger.
“No, I don’t know where he is, he should be here. Listen, Mom, what’s wrong? Stop freaking out for a second and talk to me.” Avery attempted to wipe his mother’s eyes with the end of his t-shirt.
She backed away from him and collapsed to the ground, huddling up against the office door. “Not until you get all of these people out of here.” She glared at the bystanders. “Nothing to see here folks! Just a woman having a nervous breakdown.”
Most of the people got the message and walked away. Juanita gave Avery a questioning look.
“We’re fine,” he said, “thanks. I’ve got it under control.”
“You let me know if you need anything, sugar.” Juanita shooed the remaining gawkers away, got into her car and drove off.
Avery looked down at his mom. “Okay, everyone’s gone, now tell me what going on?”
“Look in the front seat.” She pointed to the haphazardly parked car, her hand shaking. “Your father’s divorcing me and taking you away from me. He says I’m crazy, that I’m unfit. I’m not unfit, am I honey?”
“What? What are you talking about?” Avery went to the car and picked up the papers that were strewn all over the front seat. Some of them were wet with alcohol. Noticing the flask on the floor, he quickly tossed it back into the glove compartment.
He sat down on the sidewalk next to his mom, rearranging the papers and trying to make sense of what the pages said. After reading for a few moments he turned to her. “Why would he do this? Did you stop taking your medicine again?”
She looked away from him. “You know how that stuff makes me feel, Av. I don’t feel like myself. I don’t feel anything.”
He put his arm around her shoulders. “Mom, you promised me. Dad said he would leave if you did this again.”
She grabbed his hand and kissed the top of it. “You’re not going to leave me, are you honey? I don’t care if he goes, but you have to stay. Promise me you won’t go.”
Avery took his arm from around his mother and got to his feet. “Come on. Let’s go home and wait for him. You can take your medicine and everything’s going to be okay. I’m not going anywhere.”
She took his hand, letting him pull her up. “Okay, put your bike in the back. We’ll go home.” She walked to the car and popped the trunk before she slumped into the driver’s seat.
Avery heaved his bike into the car and then stowed the divorce papers in his backpack. He walked around to the driver’s side, took his mom’s hand and helped her out of the car and around into the passenger side seat. Taking over the driver’s seat, he started the car. It wasn’t that far to the house and his mother was in no shape to drive.
The door from the kitchen to the garage opened and Avery’s dad glared at him, no doubt surprised to see his son driving the car. “What the hell are you doing?” he said, “You’re not allowed to drive yet.”
Avery got out of the car, slinging his backpack on, ignoring him. He went around to the passenger side door and helped his mom from the car. Walking with his arm around her waist, the two of them went into the house, nudging his dad aside.
He led his mother to her bedroom, took off her shoes and work smock, propped her up in bed and then went into the bathroom and shook a Zoloft and a Xanax from their prescription bottles. He filled a glass with water and waited while his mother took t
he pills. There was probably no use in making her take her meds now, but it was all he could think of to do. He pulled the covers up over her shoulders. “Don’t worry Mom, I’ll take care of this.” Somehow.
His dad stood in the bedroom doorway watching, shaking his head.
Avery walked past him into the hall, motioning for him to shut the bedroom door.
Sitting down at the dining room table, he took his backpack off and ripped the largest compartment open. He threw the rumpled manila envelope containing the divorce papers at his dad. “What the hell are you doing?”
“I didn’t know she was off her meds, Son. I didn’t think she would take it like this. I figured she might even be relieved.” His dad picked up the scattered papers from the floor and sat down at the table.
Avery snorted. “Bull! You said she was crazy! You said she was unfit. She’s not the unfit parent, you are. You just drop a bomb like this on both of us and then... where the hell were you this afternoon?” He had a good idea. Despite his dad’s recent shower, Avery could still smell Mrs. Wells distinctive rose perfume that she always wore all over him. He felt sick to his stomach, he had to get out of here. Looking at his dad, he felt his hands clench into fists. He’d never wanted to hit someone so much in his entire life. He stood, turning to flee the room.
His dad grabbed his arm. “Avery. Your mom and I have not been happy for a long time. You know that. She obviously needs some help and I will help her. But I cannot stay married to her. You and I have got to get out of here. This town is suffocating the both of us.”
He jerked his arm from his father’s grip. “What are you talking about? I’m happy. I’m happier than I’ve ever been and now you’re going to take me away from here, from my home?”
“It’s for the best. You’ll see. I’m doing this for you. It’s not safe here for you anymore.”
Avery picked up his backpack and flung it at his father’s head. “Stop. Just stop with all of this cryptic crap and tell me why! What’s not safe? Mom? Mom’s not going to hurt me.” His Dad shook his head. “What? Is it Zellie then? You think she’s going to do something to me? Zellie loves me, Dad. Just who the hell am I not safe around? Because as far as I can tell you’re the only one threatening me!” He ran to his room, slamming the door with such force that the house shook.
Glimpse (Zellie Wells Book 1) Page 7