by Linda Tirado
To my parents: Thank you for making me read. That getting-me-to-adulthood-alive thing was pretty hairy. I mean, looking back, I’d have put a leash on me too. Sorry about the tattoos. I’m still not ruling out another one. And to my children: I damn well waited until I was eighteen. You’ll rule everything out until I’m not legally responsible for your stupidity. I love you, but sadly for you, I love you too much to let you be stuck at seventeen forever. That would be hell.
Nancy Stalnaker, Crystal Corrigan, and Jacob Leonard, for things they know about as well as general awesomeness: You’re all ninjas. Ryan Clayton: The inscription was right. I can’t say it better than that. Brianne Grebil: You renewed some much-needed faith in humanity. Thank you for random awesomeness.
Tom: I don’t even think there are words. Thank you for giving me the time I needed to write in, keeping the kids from destroying my work, and insisting on silly cartoons when I needed them. You’re the best, and the Independents will be on my playlist until I die.
Chritter, Slay Belle, and all the other mods in the places I was hanging out last fall: You’re the best. Internet people in general: I have learned more about the world from interacting with you in the last few years than I had in my entire life. If ever I conduct myself correctly and with grace, it’s because I’m thinking of the stuff you all had the patience to teach me. And if ever I land a hell of a one-liner, it’s because I learned from the best.
Finally, to everyone who has read this and known exactly what I was talking about: You have earned more than you think you have. It is your right to demand it, and you do not need to ask for favors. I hope that you get a decent gig and get on top of things soon. You work for your paycheck, but you have earned dignity and respect. That is yours, and fuck anyone who tries to tell you otherwise.